Even when it's dark
by Kaoritears
Summary: AU : Callie Torres is one of the best orthopedic surgeon of her generation. But if her personnal life is filled, her private life is a disaster. When she's about to throw away an ambitious project, she never imagined the impact a simple interview will have on her life in so many ways.
1. She's the one

**Hey there!**

 **This is a totally new experience for me... I'm trying to write an Alternative universe Story.**  
 **I've been thinking about it for along time, I read a lot of Amazing AU stories, so I decide to try it.**  
 **I really hope that first chapter will tempt you of to read more.**

 **A huge and irrevocable thanks to my friend who Alina help me with the development of the storie and Nina, who correct my mistakes.**

 **So feel free to leave a review to let me know what you're thinking.**

 **Have a pleasant reading and I see you soon!**

 **...**

It was another day she thought was lost. It was another day where she didn't find what she needed and she was sick of it.  
So many interviews, so many charts reviewed, so many phone calls, but so much disapointment. She was witnessing the research of three years sliping throught her fingers, and it was driving her crazy. So when her fellow knocked on her door that afternoon with a big smile, she groaned and didn't even looked at her.  
« What is it Wilson ? I'm busy here ! »

« I found the perfect candidate Dr Torres ! She's the one. I checked all the information I have. Of course we will need to ask her some question, but for the moment, she's perfect ! » Jo Wilson said excitedly as she gave her tablet to her mentor. « Dr Grey just told me she needed to keep her monitored for the next 48 hours. It will give us time to present the project to her ! ».

Impressed by the excitement Jo was demonstrating, Callie Torres raised her head and grabbed the tablet. Jo knew every criteria needed, she knew everything. She had been by her side for months and she knew what she was talking about. She knew what kind of patient was looked for.

« And what makes her different of all the other candidates we interviewed? » Callie Torres asked as she was looking closer to the patient chart.  
« She's less than 35 years old, and obviously she's a woman... She was amputated 4 years ago and her stump is clean. Plus it's an above knee amputation ! She fits all the criteria ! She's not married, no kids and she lost her prosthetic. Or she don't have one, I don't know... » The ortho fellow insisted as she seemed to know every details contained in the patient file. « We don't know her medical history at the moment, but I can feel it ! She's our winner ! »

« Okay ! I take a look... Have you talked to her already ? Why is she here ? » Callie asked Still focused on the chart. She was analysing every piece of information she got and so far, everything was good.

« Actually I have only spoke with Dr Grey. She's been admitted because she's been assaulted and beaten. »  
« What ? » Callie raised her head and look at Jo in surprise.  
« She's homeless and apparently someone tried to steal her belongings. She fought to take them back, but there were 3 of them. So she lost... » Wilson explained.  
« It's awful... » Callie replied, her human side immediately getting upon her professional waitings. And that's when she remembered some things about her fellow.

She knew a very little about Jo's past, but she was aware that the young women had been living in her car for a while. So maybe she felt that she had to do something for that poor woman.  
« Okay, I'm going to meet her. Come with me. I need to talk to Grey first. »

. . . . . . . . . .

The blonde was laying in that hospital bed, visibly upset and mad. Meredith Grey had to explain to her several times that her injuries were serious and that she needed to wait for the CT result to be sure she was okay.  
She had just received a text from Torres who wanted to meet her, so she was waiting for her outside of the patient room.  
The poor woman was in pretty bad shape. She was clearly undernourished and had been the victim of a violent assault. She got three broken ribs and a lot of bruises. Her face was really damaged and one of her eyes couldn't opened because of the wound she was suffering from. Her lips was split and her stomach was covered in bruises.  
Meredith didn't know her name, she didn't to give it. She didn't know what really happened except what the police had told her.

« Grey ! » Callie called her friend as she approached her.  
Meredith smiled and hugged her. The two woman appreciated each other a lot. When Callie got married with Meredith's huband best friend, the two women who were already friends, became closer than never. And When Lexie, Meredith half sister, came from nowhere and Mark left his wife for her, it didn't change anything.  
Callie and Mark were still good friend, and thinking back, they were in a better place now being friends instead of lovers.

Meredith was the daughter of the worldclass surgeon Ellis Grey. She had her skills and her authorithy. She was married to one of the best neuro-Surgeon of the country and they were in love like in the first day, raising three beautiful children.  
A perfect family that was secretly Callie's dream.

But while she was one of the best in her professional life, her private life was a disaster. She's been divorced two times. Her first husband was Georges O'Malley, her college boyfriend. He was a weak and without ambition guy who left her six months after their wedding for her own sister Aria. They were now married and had two beautiful sons.  
After a long period where she remained single, Callie met Mark Sloan at Meredith's wedding. Less than a year after their first meeting, they got married after a trip to Las Vegas. But the wedding lasted only a few months, before Lexie's arrival.

Then, she almost got married a third time with Erica Hahn, a Cardio surgeon who was working with her at the hospital. But she realized Erica wasn't made for her a few weeks before the wedding, and she decided to break up with her.  
Totaly desperate, Erica left the hospital and the town, and she never heard of her after.  
Erica wasn't her first girlfriend. Callie had always openly be bisexual even if she had more male than female partners.  
Actually, she was single and it was perfect this way. She didn't want to lose time dating people who didn't interest her at all.

She was secretely believing at love at first sight. She thought deep inside that one day, she would meet the person who was made for her and that something would click in her mind.  
But right now she was doing an impressive new study on a robotic sensitive leg. She wanted to change the way the medical world was dealing with the amputation and the prosthetics.  
And she was here, meeting her friend Meredith Grey to meet a possible candidate.  
On the paper, Merdith's patient presented the perfect profile. If she agreed to be a part of the study and if her health status were compatible with every criteria, it would be amazing.

Callie and her fellow had met more than 35 candidates, and they had only retained 3 people. Two of them finally refused numerous constraints that involved the project, and the third woman got some health issus at the very last time that prevented her from being included.  
So as she turned her gaze to discover that potential patient, Callie Torres took a deep breath and was keen to show her the project.

It was a very big deal. Indeed, her donators were expecting concrete results by now. She was under a lot of pressure and she was over stressed. Meeting this woman could change her life, and she didn't know that it wouldn't only be in a professionnal way.

« So, what's her name ? » Callie asked Meredith as she looked at the woman throught the window. « Wow... she's really injured... »  
« I don't know. She refused to say it. And she's been left for dead on the sidewalk. I think her assailant didn't take the time to be sure she was still breathing or not... »

Callie suddenly felt her stress level increased. Not only she was thinking about the patient having some unexpected injuries which excluded her from the trial, but she also felt deeply sorry for her. She had grown up in a wealthy and loving family. Her parents had always been there for her, and she would never have to care about being in that kind of position.

« Is there something wrong more than the bruises and her broken ribs ? »  
« No, she seemed okay. I'm waiting for the last results, and I monitored her for the night at least. But i'm not sure she's going to agree to stay. She's been pretty aggressive. » Meredith explained. « So if you want to talk to her, she's all yours ! Good luck ! »  
« Thanks. » Callie replied, still looking at the patient.

It was now or never. Hesitating, her hands were a little sweaty, and she quickly dried them on her labcoat. She sighed, trying to keep her self-control and to introduce herself as a confident and trustful doctor.

That Woman must have lived some difficult events in her life to find herself living in the streets on her own, and Callie guessed she wouldn't be easy to convince.  
She approached the door and knocked carefully. The woman turn her head, wincing in pain.

« Come in. » She said as Callie opened the door.  
« Hi. I'm Dr Torres from Ortho. I'd like to talk to you about a project I'm working on. Will you agree to talk about it with me ? » Callie introduces herself, speaking in a compassionate but professional voice.

The woman noded and so Callie grabbed a chair and sat next to the bed. Callie blushed a little when she felt the patient staring at her. She could almost feel her look on her. She had a piercing and cold gaze, but Callie found it impressive. She could barely see her eyes between the wound and the bruises, but they seemed to have been throught a lot of dramatic life events.

Blue... They were blue. Callie has always had a things for blue eyes, but that was not the point.  
Noticing the woman's little reaction, she cleared her throat, trying to catch her attention back.

« What's your name ? » She asked, looking at her and trying to make her feel comfortable.  
« Just tell me what you want to say and leave me alone please. » the woman replied.  
« Well I think you're going to be interested so can you give me your name please ? » Callie insisted as the woman rolled her eyes. This was not a good sign. She needed to be more open. She had to make that patient she was really special without letting her know she was desperate to find someone to join her trial.  
« Jane... »  
« Ok Jane... And what's your family name ? »  
« Doe... »

Now it was Callie wo was rolling her eyes. She wanted to fool her, fine. But Callie wasn't shy and she wasn't ready to surrender.

« Okay, Jane Doe... So I'm an orthopedic surgeon and I am working on a brand new kind of prosthetic limb. It's a prosthetic leg that will help the amputees to not only get more motorskills back but they would be able to feel real sensation throught their prosthetic also. It won't only be a tool to help you walking. It's gonna be a real extension of your body. » Callie explained excitedly. « I've been looking at your chart and You seem to fit all the criteria ! »

« Can you give me that bottle of water please ? » the woman asked.

Callie looked at hern disapointed by the lack of concern from the woman. What's her problem ? Why wasn't she thrilled to be offered that opportunity ?  
She was leading the game for now, but Callie still had some tricks.  
She handed her the bottle and their eyes locked for a second.

Even if she was really injured and bruised, that woman had something that upset Callie.  
She had just been assaulted, she was in an hopital bed but she remained strong an she wasn't letting Callie get to her so easily.  
Callie didn't know what seemed to attracted her to that stranger, but she felt immediately a connection between them.

« I can show you a video of our first test if you want... » Callie mumbled as the blonde took a sip of water.

She looked patiently at her, smiling. If it wasn't the first they met, she could almost think she was making fun of her. Callie gulped and began to nervously making click her finger nails.

She was the one. She can help her to concrete her years of research.

« No thank you. You can go now. » The blonde coldly replied as she put her bottle on the table next to her bed, not even looking at Callie who was now begining to feel a wave of stress overwhelmed her entire body. She had no choice. She had to convice that woman.

« But I can assure you it's going to change your life ! It's revolutionary ! » The orthopedic surgeon insisted. She had nothing to lose and was now trying to play the scientific card.

Why in the world someone could refuse such an offer ?

« I told you I wasn't interested ! » the woman said, harshly as she looked at Callie with a dark glare.

Callie could feel the anger in the woman's eye and it cooled her. The icy reaction she received was so intense that her own enthuthiasm fade a little. It was not the first time the person in front of her remained sceptical when she explained briefly her research. Dealing with amputees was not an easy task. But she was used to it now. She know the struggle those patient had to fight to accept their new body, she knew everything about it. She knew the depressive period, the digust of their own appearance, the phantom limb pain, the uncomfort of the prosthetic. She was dealing with it every single day.

But in front of that woman who was calling herselg Jane Doe, Something was different. She didn't know anything about her except that she was homeless and... amazingly beautiful even if she was almost disfigured.

« Can you take a moment to think about it ? I notice you arrived in the ER without your prosthetic . Where is it ?» Callie asked her which made the blonde raised her head and looked at her with a different gaze.

Callie knitted her eyebrow and found a little confidence back. She might have find a way to interact with her.  
The woman sighed and laid back her head on the bed. « I sold it, to a pawn shop... »

Callie felt bad and let escape a sigh of shock. She tried to contain any reaction of pity not to hurt her potential candidate but she was deeply touched by what she just heard.  
So now, for her, 'Jane' was not the best candidate, she was the only one she wanted to work with.

Even pressed for time and by economic constraints, Callie remained a very empathic person and she was not able to refrain from thinking that the coming of this patient in her hospital at this very moment could only be a sign of fate.

« I can help you Jane. This trial, it can change your life in so many ways. » Callie said in a soft voice.

« Nothing can change my life. I don't need a life. I had one and … Whatever... » the woman whispered.

« Listen, let me show you what this is about. You have nothing to lose. It's a wonderful program, you'll be the first female to enter the trial. » Callie insisted, believing hard in her chanced to convince the other woman.

Closing her eyes as Callie lost her last hope, Jane shook her head slowly no.  
« If you change your mind, just tell Dr Grey. I will get back to you. »

Callie gave the woman her hand, but she didn't took it and simply turned her head on the opposite side.  
Callie clenched her teeth in frustration and felt a tension around her neck and shoulders. She stood up and grabbed her tablet and walked toward the doors. She failed, one more time to convice somebody. But this time, not the trial or its terms was her main concern. She was just sad Jane wasn't accepting the help she was offering her. And she was taking it personnaly. It was one more failure added to an already long list.

« Dr Torres right ? »

« Yes ? » Callie automatically turned back to Jane, hoping for the best. Whatever the young woman was about to say, it was surely the begining or the end of something.

« What would I have to do concretely if I accept your offer ? » She asked

« You want me to explain the procedure in details ? » Callie asked with a big smile on her face. She took a few steps back and smiled at Jane. That was it ! She had managed to catch her attention. And even if she didn't knew anything about her, she already notice a change in the tone of her patient voice, and it made her feel better.

« Dr Grey said I'm stuck here until tomorrow, so I can used a little company... » The blonde said playfully.

« So you want to see the video Jane ? » Callie asked, reaching the bed closer and hoping she would agree. She was sure the woman will agree immediately after she knew everything about the project.

« It's Arizona... »

« Sorry, what ? » Callie asked, raising her head from her tablet and confused by the blonde statement.

« My name, it's Arizona, and yes , I'd like to know more about your robot leg... But I'm not saying I'm in ! »


	2. Everything about her

**AN:/ hey guys!**

 **I'd like to thank you for the positive feedback on the first chapter!**

 **As I told you, it's a brand new things for me to write an AU story, even though there's a lot of similarities with the actual SL of Grey.**

 **I can't tell you how often I'll update. I try to be regular.**

 **Reviews are ALWAYS welcome! My beta is the amazing Alina! Thank you again !**

 **I really hope you enjoy that second chapter where we get to have some clues about Arizona's past even if it's light.**

 **Have a pleasant reading.**

... 

Arizona... Arizona...

Surely another fake name. After Jane Doe, the blonde wasn't really trustworthy regarding that detail. But at the moment what was important was the test result that Jo Wilson was waiting to get as she was entering her potential bionic leg living beta to proceed the paperwork.

There were dozens of papers to fill, and even if she wasn't sure if she would get in the trial yet, Callie Torres didn't want to lose any minute and had sent her fellow to begin with that part of the research when she was stuck in the OR.

So the young woman wasn't really excited when she opened the door. The only thing that she was eager to do was finally speak with that Arizona who she had found for her mentor's trial.

« Good morning! » Jo greeted Arizona with a big smile full of expectations.

« Hi! » Arizona replied, faking the enthusiasm. She took her time to fully observe the young woman and her intense gaze made Jo gulp before she continued.

« I'm Dr. Wilson. I'm working with Dr. Torres. I'm going to start the interview which will lead you through the trial processing. Would you grant me a few minutes to answer these questions? Let's start with the basics. What's your name? »

The fellow surgeon was really practical and her almost mercantile tone made Arizona smile despite her injuries.

She was standing straight in front of her, a little nervousness was noticeable in the corner of her mouth which was lightly shaking but she was doing everything she could to keep her stress under control.

« So, Dr. Wilson, uh... What's your first name? » She asked as she slowly rubbed the wound under her left eye. She was definitively going to be a challenging patient and Jo was about to have a hard time making her talk.

« I don't think it's really important. I'm just here for the paperwork before Dr. Torres finishes her surgery, which shouldn't be long » Jo explained, far from knowing that Arizona was messing with her.

« What's Dr. Torres' first name? »

« It's not important. So please can you give me your name? »

« Let me propose you something. I give you my name and everything you need from me if you give me your and Dr. Torres' first names... » the blonde said childishly, trying to take control of the interview.

« It's not going to happen... I need your identity to begin the process. So please can you give me your name? » Jo sighed, immediately regretting it. It was almost too late now. Her patient was not in a strong position.

« I get it. They still teach you how to keep your distance from the patient in med school apparently. Be compassionate but not too much involved emotionally... » Arizona nodded slowly as she knew exactly what she was talking about which made Jo curious.

« How do you know that? » Jo asked, suddenly intrigued by the annoying patient.

« So I saw a J on your professional card. What is it for? Jane? Julie? Jodie? No you don't look like a Jodie... » Arizona changed the subject because Jo was now suspecting she might have some medical knowledge.

« Can you answer me please? » Jo insisted, knowing her mentor wouldn't take empty lines on the charts for an answer. She didn't want to enter this stupid and pissing game.

« Jenny? Judith? » Arizona continued to play with the young woman. She was a little flustered to only meeting the fellow when the Head of the department was begging her to accept the trial a few hours earlier. But what was making her mad was that she hadn't given her consent for the moment and they were already starting the whole process.

« Jo! It's Jo! » She suddenly said, surrendering in front of her patient's insistence. If in order to get the information she needed she had to play a little nice, she thought she could do it for a while.

« Great... So Jo... It's not your full name. What is it? No let me guess... It's Josephine! » Arizona said triumphantly.

« You got it... » Jo sighed, sitting in the chair settled next to the bed, in defeat but relieved because she was going to be able to work. « Are you always like this? »

« Nope. But I like to play. So, Josephine, apparently we are going to see each other a lot. So what about you tell me your Boss' first name now? »

Jo lightly turned her face to the side in surprise, her left eyebrow raising in astonishment. It was not only about her but Callie was also a part of the game now.

« And after that, you'll give me your identity? » Jo pleaded.

« I promise. »

« Her name's Callie Torres. » Jo simply stated, hoping for that dumb blind game to stop.

« You see, not so hard... » Arizona replied playfully, satisfied of her victory.

« So now, it's up to you... » the fellow insisted. She had been a good girl, accepting her patient's fancy. So now she deserve to know her fricking name.

« Okay, okay... » Arizona sighed in defeat. « I'm Arizona Robbins. »

Jo raised her head and rolled her eyes. She couldn't believe she was fooling her again. Arizona couldn't be a real name.

« You promise! » She said, annoyed, she thought she was losing.

« That's my real name! Look my id is in my bag right there! » Arizona interjected. Of course she always had problems when she was introducing herself, but she had given her words to Jo and she hoped she would believe her.

Jo turned her gaze and noticed the grey military bag laying on the floor. Knowing it was the only belonging her patient had been able to save and not wanting to intrude her privacy, she shook her head no and sincerely looked at Arizona.

« I trust you. » She replied. « So, Ms. Robbins... »

« Josephine... » the blonde cut her off. « Please, call me Arizona. »

…...

Less than 30 minutes later, Callie had finally received the last results from Arizona's tests. Opening the data on her tablet, she was analyzing everything. She was so close to be able to move forward with her research and these last elements were crucial.

Notification after notification, everything was perfect. It was a dream coming true and when she read the last data, a huge smile appeared on her face. She was definitely the one.

Everything was good, every single criterion was respected. It was almost a miracle that woman came that day in her hospital and was treated by her best friend. It was so incredible that she thought deep inside that it could be a twist of fate.

She recorded everything and walked to her patient's room as fast as she could, excited to tell her the good news. Her research was going to improve a lot of things for the person who had undergone a traumatic amputation and Arizona's life was going to change for sure. Both sides were thrilling her and she was hoping her patient was going to be as excited as she was herself.

Entering the room without even knocking, she approached the bed, cutting Jo and Arizona who were quietly filling the charts.

« You're in Arizona! » Callie said excitedly. Unconsciously forgetting that her patient hadn't give her consent yet « You're going to be the first civil female to test my sensitive leg! Congratulation! »

« You should rather keep the congratulation for yourself Dr. Torres... » Arizona replied, looking at her with annoyance as she was now feeling stuck in a project she hadn't asked to be a part of.

« You are going to be able to feel everything through that high technology prosthetic. » Jo reminded her as she noticed Arizona lack of excitement. « You are the winner here. »

« Let's say if I agree, which is not sure right now, it would be a win-win. I'm giving you my body and you have the reward and the award. And good for you. If I can be useful to anything I think I'd be glad to help. And guess what, its perfect timing, I have nothing to do at the moment... »

Arizona sarcasm upset Callie a little who swallowed her excitement bitterly. Noticing the discomfort, Jo stood up and gave the charts to Callie to lighten the atmosphere.

« We were finishing the first part, I'll let you end it as expected? » She asked her mentor, wanting to leave her with Arizona. Callie was so involved and passionate with her project that she was the only one who could convince their patient to sign all the papers.

« Thank you Dr. Wilson... » Callie replied, taking Jo's tablet before she left the room. « Can you check on Mr. Jameson's post ops? »

« Of course Dr. Torres. » Jo politely replied, walking to the door

« See you later Josephine! » Arizona smirked which made the fellow smile and nod at her.

Callie observe the scene and felt that Arizona and her student seemed to have talked a little more than about the papers. It gave her hope that Arizona's mood would be positive and that maybe, they could openly talk about everything and that would lead to her consenting to be the beta tester.

She took Jo's seat and took a quick look at the papers. She had barely completed it and it got her mad. Jo knew that she hated all that was paperwork related and she was leaning on her fellow for that. Usually, she was really efficient, but apparently something had prevented her from doing her work. Seeing Arizona's smile as she was grumbling looking at the document made her understand better what would have happened.

« We were about to talk about my leg. » Arizona said quietly, almost like it wasn't concerning her case.

It was a delicate subject to get into, but Callie needed more information on the reason of Arizona's amputation. She sat straighter on her seat and prepared herself for the talk that was coming.

« Okay. So I'm going to... »

« I'm sorry » Arizona cut her of. « I didn't want to be ungrateful. I was sincere when I said I was happy my body can be useful for something. »

Callie looked at her patient in pity. How someone can have such a low self-esteem. Her 'miracle' tester seemed to have a lack of interest in her own body and it shattered her.

But the sincerity of Arizona's words were contrasting so much with the skeptical talk she had with her earlier. So she wanted to reassure that agreeing to the trial would be a big step for her.

« You are very tough with yourself ... » Callie said. « I hope that the project will bring you confidence and that it will help you move forward. »

It wasn't a statement, it was just some words she said to cheer her up. Callie was an open minded and very kind person and she would never instantly be bitter or mean to anybody with no valuable reason.

But as soon as those words were spoken something went off in Arizona's eyes and Callie felt the sudden tension growing in the room. The blue of her eyes was now darker and her body language indicated that she was falling back on herself.

« It's not a judgement! » Callie defended herself. « Don't take it the wrong way... I will never... »

« Don't apologize, because after all, you're right... » Arizona said. « I'm nowhere in this life, I know that. Believe me, I know that. But it's because there's no where I can be. »

Feeling her patient opening a little as she thought she was losing the dialogue with her, Callie decided it was maybe time to talk about the reason Arizona was going to be her perfect patient : her amputation. It was going to be a sensitive talk and she knew that she was going to walk on eggshells for a while

« I'd like to know if you feel comfortable to talk about the loss of your leg. » Callie asked carefully; looking at Arizona with kindness.

« That's such a kind statement. You can say the word amputation Dr. Torres. » Arizona replied without letting any kind of uncomfort appear. « And if I have to talk about it, I will do it. »

Feeling that it was the good moment because Arizona seemed to easily talk, Callie began her interview. She took a pen from the pocket of her lab coat and focused on the way she was going to bring the subject. She needed detailed information but as she didn't know how Arizona had lost her leg, she didn't want to upset her by being too intrusive. It was a tricky experience, but she was used to it.

« I need to know a few things. Dr. Wilson has already examined your stump and it seems to be really clean. » She explained, always speaking with a low but professional voice. « Can you tell me what caused your amputation? »

« I lost it in a crash. » Arizona replied quickly and efficiently, avoiding eye contact. The words were said.

The fact that the amputation was the result of a crash was an important thing to Callie study because she was working on a traumatic amputation.

« Okay. Can you give me a little more information? I know it's not easy but I need a little more detail. »

« It was an open femur fracture. It was too damaged to be saved, so they had to cut it off. » Arizona explained. She was weirdly quiet when she was talking about her injury, almost as she wasn't speaking of herself. Her gaze was empty as she was staring at Callie and the surgeon understood the story behind that crash must have been a terrifying hurdle in her life.

« Do you have any documents from the surgery? Any CT, Scans? It can help us in adjusting the cast for the socket. »

« The crash didn't occur in the US. And when I found myself living in my car, I didn't keep anything that was not vital... You know? » the blonde stated, still totally detached when she spoke. It was a speech delivered as if she was repeating a lesson. She was now avoiding to cross Callie's look and she was nervously shrugging or stretching her shoulders. Something was bothering her by talking about that accident, so Callie thought it was time to change the subject of the conversation.

« Okay so we will figure something out ». Callie said, now avoiding eye contact too.

She could feel the vulnerability of the woman at the moment but there was also a strength coming from her. An ambivalent feeling that she had difficulty identifying. Looking back at her as the sun was penetrating the room through the half opened blinds, Callie was upset by all the emotions that seemed to be turning in Arizona's mind. Her profile lightly broken by the consequences of the assault that had brought her to the hospital wasn't impacting her natural beauty as a golden curled lock fell from her lose pony tail.

« So about the whole process, I have to inform you that we are working with sensitive captors which need to be implanted in your brain. The surgery will be done while you are awake, so we can test everything. I'll be of course in the OR and the surgery will be performed by Dr. Amelia Shepard. She's the head of our neuro department and she's the best in her field. »

« Okay. » Arizona simply replied as she put her hand on her cheek, wincing lightly.

« Are you okay? » Callie worried. Was it real physical pain that made her patient clench her fist and wince or was it because some hard memories were back in her mind ? No one could tell except Arizona herself.

« Don't worry about me, let's finish all your fricking paperwork. » Arizona replied, turning her head to Callie.

They locked their eyes for a moment before Callie went back to the essentials.

« So the brain implant surgery is a very basic procedure, but it can be nice to have somebody with you to help you a few hours after the surgery. So can you give some names of friends or family? We'll keep the data in your charts in case of emergency. » Callie said, fearing the answer.

Joe and Meredith had told her she was homeless but Arizona hadn't told her that fact yet. In those hard life condition, Callie knew that there was a possibility that Arizona was living on her own, alone in the street.

Arizona wet her lips, lingering her tongue on it, looking at her doctor with defiance.

« I don't have any family. And as far as I remember I don't have friends either. » She simply replied immediately guessing the pity look from Callie. « Hey don't make that face. It's better to be alone than in bad company. »

« Are you sure? Because in the unlikely case something happens during the surgery, we are needed to contact a relative... » Callie insisted, always on edge not to put her too far.

« Well I'm going to say that if things would turn bad for me in the OR, it would be all on you Dr. Torres. » Arizona said, sarcastically. She was still staring at Callie who was writing some things on her note pad.

« There's no way you'll be on your own through it Arizona, I'll be by your side. » Callie said, smiling at her. « If you agree to join the program, everything will be taken care off. We'll give you a room in a hotel near by the hospital. Your food, your needs, everything is included. »

« Oh, so you already know about my 'condition' as a poor, helpless, homeless woman, don't you Callie? » Arizona whispered, closing her eyes and putting her hand on the wound she got under her left eye again. « See, this is going to be great when I'll be back on the street. Scars are scary, and with my robot leg, it's going to make me so badass! »

Callie wrinkled her forehead in confusion. Arizona was blowing hot and cold and it was messing with Callie's head.

« Talking about your facial injuries, I've asked Dr. Sloan, a plastic surgeon, to visit you. He's going to see what he can do with your wounds which are pretty deep. » Callie explained, trying to change the subject. She moved her hand to the blonde's cheek to check the wounds and as her hand touched her skin, Callie gulped.

Arizona was facing her and staring at her with her amazing piercing blue gaze. It was not a simple gaze, she felt like the blonde was scanning her.

It was so intense and paradoxically empty at the same time.

« It's better... » Callie mumbled. « I can see your two eyes today. »

Callie was stuck. Arizona's blue eyes were shattering her and she couldn't get over it.

« I think I'm a little dizzy. Can you leave me alone for a while? I need to rest. » Arizona stated suddenly. She turned her gaze to the windows, grabbing Callie's hand who was still holding her face and pushed it away.

The gesture and the bigger contact made Callie shiver as she inhaled deeply, not letting her patient's hand leave hers.

« Of course. I'll come back later. » She said quietly. « We need to finalize the paperwork. All I need, to go further is your agreement. »

« Come back later and I'll give you my answer. »

…...

Jo was having her lunch in Callie's office as her mentor was working on a patient's case. The two surgeons had a double hip replacement to prepare for and they didn't have time to head to the cafeteria.

« Dr. Torres? » Jo asked before hesitating for a while.

« Mmmmhhh... » Callie replied without really any care.

« I was wondering if you have talked about Ms. Robbins professional background. »

Callie raised her head from her computer at the mention of Arizona's name. Of course she was curious about the blonde's life but she had no need to know what her profession was. So why was Jo talking about that.

« No, it's not our concern. » Callie replied. « But why are you asking that? »

Jo had doubts but she was not sure that kind of things would interest Callie.

« It's just... She told me something about how they teach you not to care too much in med school. Like she had been to med school or something like that. » the younger woman confessed. « Do you think she might have worked in the medical field? »

« I have no idea Jo... This woman is homeless. She apparently has no family, no friends, and no job. I talked to her twice, and only about the trial. So how could I possibly know that! » Callie replied a little harsher than Jo expected.

She raised her arms in annoyance as Jo stood up from her chair and came closer to Callie's desk.

« It was just something I was wondering, no big deal. » She said. « It's just that if it's true, she would be a harder costumer. »

« We are not trying to sell her anything here Wilson... » Callie replied, before thinking twice about what Jo just told her.

It could be a big deal. Indeed if Arizona had medical knowledge of any kind, it would be very helpful during the process of the study.

It would help them to get more precise data and to improve everything.

« Wilson, you're amazing sometimes! » Callie said as she tapped her shoulder, in a friendly way. « But I don't think I feel like asking her right now. And she's sleeping... »

Jo smirked at Callie's fake reason to avoid asking her patient. She didn't know what was going on exactly, but Callie was not insensitive to Arizona for sure.

« There's a way to find out. Maybe it won't work, but it's quick and free... » Jo said, offering Callie a playful smile. « We just have to google her... »

…...

 _« Help me! Help me! »_

 _Everything was white and smooth around her._

 _It was like she was on a cloud. It was foggy and cold._

 _But she was suffocating. And what was that smell of smoke around?_

 _« Help me! Help! » She yelled._

 _Some voices were coming closer but she did not understand them._

 _« I'm here! We're here! Please somebody help! Annie? Annie? »_

 _Blue light were flashing and suddenly she felt as if she was sinking._

 _Blue, white, grey... And she wasn't strong enough to call for help._

 _She was drowning, slowly, but the fear and the pain were going away..._

 _She closed her eyes and let herself go..._

 _Annie took her hand and smiled at her and everything turned so bright and white._

 _..._

That's when Arizona woke up with a start, sweating and breathing with difficulty, her fear was clearly noticeable in her eyes.

Callie who was in the room filling the charts jumped in surprise too but quickly rushed to her side worried.

« Oh my God! Are you okay? » She asked as Arizona was struggling to slow her breathing.

Callie grabbed a towel from the bathroom and quietly invited Arizona to lay back in her bed. She dried a little sweat on her forehead before serving her a glass of water.

« What happened? » she asked her with a concerned look.

« It's … It's just … Nothing. » The blonde mumbled, looking around her as if she didn't remember where she was. She gasped several times, brushing her neck nervously where Callie immediately saw a tension settle.

« Arizona, if there's anything that is bothering you, please tell me. » Callie said.

She felt guilty thinking that talking about the mysterious crash might have brought some unpleasant memories back for Arizona.

« It's... Nothing... » Arizona mumbled again, focusing on her breathing. « What are you doing here? »

« I was just filling the charts with the information you gave me and to make sure you were okay. » Callie said.

Arizona was a little annoyed but relieved by Callie's presence at the same time. The ortho surgeon seemed to be a caring person and she wasn't used to meeting people of that kind anymore.

« Dr. Torres... »

« Yes? »

« There's something you don't seem to understand. Medical trials are risky. And the tester needs to be closely monitored and they have to evolve in a healthy environment right? » Arizona stated, making Callie raise her eyebrow as she tried to understand what her patient meant.

« Yes that's right but... »

« As you must know, I live in my car, in an abandoned parking lot. I have no job, no purpose in my life. » Arizona cut her of. « I don't even know why you are here. I haven't even said I agree and you're around with your papers and your questions. I don't want to do it. I'm sorry to have made you lose your time. Dr. Grey told me my discharge papers will be ready this afternoon. I'm going to sign them and head back to my life. »

« Arizona, you can't do that. I'm offering you the opportunity of a lifetime! As soon as people will know your situation, I'm sure they will want to help you. So you can have a real life, starting fresh! » Callie said, not really surprised by Arizona volte-face.

« I don't need that... but you seemed to need me... » Arizona said as she looked directly in Callie's eyes. « I know you need me. You are probably running out of time and you haven't found your tester am I right? »

Caught in the act Callie froze. Arizona had understood her emergency in finding a beta tester and she knew she was her last hope. She was leading the game now and she was beginning to fear her rejection.

« That's not the problem Arizona. This project can change your life. »

« I already told you I don't need a life, I had the opportunity to have an amazing life. But I missed it. » Arizona yelled. « And I don't need your pity! »

This time it was not just discomfort or annoyance in her words. It was pain and anger.

Feeling the urge to not let Arizona get back to her shell, Callie had to do what had to be done and so she played her last card.

« You're saying it yourself! You have nothing to lose! So Sign the papers and in the worst case, you will be back in your freaking car with no prosthetic, or you're in, with me and my staff and you'll have one of the first sensitive robotic usable limb! » Callie yelled as loud as Arizona.

As they fell in an awkward silence, Arizona looked at her with a puzzled gaze and then looked at the papers Callie was handing her.

The Latina was totally stunned, clenching her teeth in awe. She may have pushed her patient one step too far. But if she didn't want to be included in the program, it would be bad for her.

Callie didn't have time to lose.

The blonde half closed her eyes and stared again at her doctor who was trying to remain confident and strong in front of her whereas she was panicking inside, preventing her knees to shake.

And then, something changed in Arizona's piercing blue eyes and it left Callie smitten.

She inhaled and exhaled exaggeratedly, offered Callie an annoyed look and grabbed the papers from her hands.

« Good... » Callie said as she watched the blonde accept the opportunity she was giving her, crossing her arm on her chest.

« Fine... You win... » Arizona mumbled. « Happy? » Happy ? »


	3. On the road

**AN : / Hey guys!**

 **I really, really enjoy writting this story and all the positive feedback is really motivating!**  
 **So, yeah, I will definitely going further and keep this story on.**  
 **As I am about to end to of my other stories, I may be able to update this one more often than I thought.**  
 **You have this chapter so soon because Shyalien had worked so fast that it's alreaday available! A huge thank you girl!**  
 **Reviews help me knowing if the story is interesting you or not, so take a few second to share your sentiment!**

 **I wish you a pleasant reading!**

 **Flashback are in** _italic._

 **...**

Arizona was sitting in the fancy black BMW, dressed in a light blue scrub top and her old ripped pair of jeans.

Since she had signed the agreement papers the day before, Callie Torres hadn't stopped asking her if she was okay. She had asked her a billion times if she had everything she needed and in reality, Arizona needed just a few thing she had left in the car she was living in. So she had asked Callie for a ride to the parking lot and the brunette had been more than happy to offer it to her. She also gave Arizona a provisory prosthetic that did not fit her as it wasn't adjusted for her.

She didn't really agree at the beginning but after Arizona's persistent requests, she had yielded.

It had been a really unexpectedly sweet moment, Arizona acting childishly and Callie laughing at her pouting facial expressions.

There was definitely something upsetting Callie in that woman but she didn't know what was making her feel that way. She barely knew her and she had to remain professional with her. And that was the difficult part. Arizona was not a shy individual and she was pretty much the master of turning situations to her advantage.

So when she had made Callie that simple request, she naturally agreed. It's not that the blonde had to go back there, but she needed to pick some of her items that were still in her car.

« It would greatly do the job! » Arizona said when her new doctor looked hat her in doubt, twisting her mouth as she was adjusting the prosthetic.

« You should have taken the wheelchair! » Callie said as she stopped her car at the location Arizona had pointed at.

« It's okay. I don't like being in those things. » The blonde argued. « I won't be long! » She said. She stretched her body for a moment and looked back to offer Callie a perfect dimpled smile.

Her bruises were still visible but some of them were already fading.

As soon as her feet touched the ground, Arizona winced in pain and lost her balance for a moment but managed to stand up, using the car and taking some little steps, grabbing it with one hand.

She had just put the prosthetic on before leaving the hospital and wasn't used to it. It was a temporary solution but she didn't want to remain in a chair or worst a bed.

« See! You're in pain! » Callie said, undoing her seat belt and following her. She was the doctor here, Arizona was her last minute miracle tester and she needed her healthy. She wouldn't risk her to injure herself because of her stubbornness.

« It's nothing! Just a little pain in my ribs... » Arizona said. « It will go away. »

Callie rolled her eyes. It was the first day that Arizona was officially her tester and she was already doing things her own way.

Callie had already noticed a few things about her patient. She didn't like to talk about herself, she didn't like to be helped or sugarcoated. And she was beautiful.

But that had nothing to do with the kind of relationship Callie was supposed to share with her. But somewhere in her mind, she couldn't help but find her stunning.

She had a playful temper but she was also independent and seemed to have been through a lot.

There was like a mysterious aura around her and Callie was sure that the interest she seemed to develop toward Arizona was all about that. What else could it be?

« I brought a cane if you want it... » Callie said as Arizona was walking with difficulty.

« Seriously? » Arizona rolled her eyes but in fact, she wasn't against the idea to lean on that stupid cane to ease her walk.

« I'm an orthopedic surgeon and I'm good at my job... » Callie teased, suddenly regretting the tone of her voice. Since she had met Arizona, the blonde had always been sarcastic or Grumpy, so humor wasn't a good idea.

Interacting with people wasn't Callie's strong suit. She often spoke without filter and said out loud what she had in mind clumsily. She didn't make friend easily, especially women friend.

She had friends Of course, mostly from work and she was mostly surrounded by men when it came to friendships.

But Meredith, Christina and Jo had learned to know her and were now her real friends.

Walking back to the car, Arizona suddenly approached Callie very closely, her face a few inches away from the brunette, starring at her intensely. It made Callie gulp uncomfortably and the other woman smirked as she took the cane from her hands and smiled. « Thanks Doctor... » She replied, politely before walking away.

Callie hesitated a moment but finally followed her from far. Arizona hadn't forbidden her to come with her but she hadn't asked it either. After all, she had to be sure her patient was safe...

As she made her way through the brownfield in which Arizona seemed to know every corner, she was felt uncomfortable.

For someone like her who grew up in a really wealthy family, this kind of place was something she had never seen. Everything was disgusting and creepy and the few people they crossed seemed to be crazy or drunk, or drugged. Or the three at the same time.

As she joined Arizona, Callie looked closely all around. It was a gloomy abandoned covered parking lot, full of junk and mold. She winced in disgust, behind Arizona who was standing silently, a hand covering her mouth.

« Is everything ok? » Callie asked, walking closer to her and making her jump.

« Oh, so you followed me » she said, smiling at the view of that sophisticated lady walking with her fancy heeled shoes in that junkyard. « You must really need me if you're ready to come to the hell gate of Seattle ».

Callie rolled her eyes and looked with annoyance at the blonde who was smirking. But she also noticed her worried eyes going back to where she was staring before she interrupted her.

She was contemplating a carbonized car carcass.

There was nothing left but a few ashes that the wind was blowing away and dark sheet metal pieces.

« Oh my god... » Callie said, realizing what must have happened. « Was that your car? »

Arizona didn't reply and walked closer to the burned place she used to sleep in. The smell of fire was still present in the air.

She walked closer, remaining silent and somewhat stunned.

She nervously scratched her neck with ferocity, bending her head. It was not the first time Callie had observed that nervous tic, but here, it was stronger, and more impressive than in the hospital.

« Shit! Shit! Shit! » she yelled, her voice echoed between the walls of the empty slummed place.

Callie was observing from far and she became concerned when Arizona kept on scratching her neck violently. It was one more terrifying event for the woman who had just been assaulted a few days earlier.

Guessing that fire had something to do with Arizona's assault, Callie approached and saw the broken skin bleeding under the blonde's nails. Watching closely she knew that it was not the first time she must have done it. The stress, the pain mixed with the anger and the exhaustion were surely making her react so rashly.

Arizona was now really realizing what happened and she was nervously walking in circles, completely lost in her thoughts, hands clasped in front of her mouth and mumbling words. She was coming and going, trying to keep her self-control, But Callie could see she was struggling.

She suddenly stopped and got in what was left of her car binnacle. She bend her body which caused her broken ribs to hurt.

She did not complain out loud, just clenching her teeth and closing her eyes for a few moments. She felt Callie coming closer and turned her head to her.

« I'm okay... I'm okay... »

She looked in and nothing was left. All her belongings were burnt and mixed with the usual dust.

Getting out, her foot made a metallic sound as she stepped back, she removed the ashes with her foot and a smile appeared on her stressed face.

She quickly grabbed the items on the floor and washed it on her scrub top.

« Thanks God! » She whispered, bringing the object to her cheek tenderly.

« Need some help? » Callie asked, walking closer as she noticed the little object were two army dog tags.

« No... Thanks...We can go now... »

Callie didn't ask any more questions and let Arizona walk with her to the car. The blonde was laming, wincing when the pain was hitting her, but she had a beautiful smile on her face.

For someone who had apparently lost everything, she was strangely happy, as those tag were the only thing she needed to get back.

When the two of them were in the sight of the car, a man in a keeper dark suit accompanied by a dog he was taking on a leash was standing next to it.

« Hey Pit! » Arizona called him as they approached.

« Hey Doc! » He replied, making Callie stop.

The man was tall with dark curly hair and seemed to know Arizona.

« So you're back? » he asked. « I'm sorry for your car. It did not happen during my shift, I swear. »

« I know that. Don't worry Pit. » Arizona replied as the man looked at Callie. « Oh, this is Dr. Torres. »

« Hi! » The man waved his hand to Callie who did the same.

« Dr. Torres, this is Pit Walhberg. He is one of the guardians of the area. » Arizona explained as Callie nodded. « And guess what Pit! I've been included in some kind of big clinical trial for a Robot prosthetic leg! Isn't that awesome? »

« Hey! That's great Doc! I was worried when I heard about what Happened. But apparently, you found a way to get out of here! You deserve it! Don't screw it up » Pit said. « I hope you won't be back here! Ever! If I cross you on the street I will kick your ass! »

Arizona laughed loudly and Callie smiled. There were people who cared for her and she was happy to know it.

« I'll remember that! » Arizona teased as Callie entered her car. « I have to go now. Thanks for everything! »

She hugged him and gave him something she had took out from her pocket which seemed to be a bill.

« And take care of everybody, would you? » She asked the man with a concerned look.

« No problem! » Pit replied, a little sad to see her go but happy for her at the same time. « And your stuff isn't here anymore... »

« Oh... » Arizona said in surprise. « So I guess he took them with him? »

« Yeah... » Pit nodded as Callie witnessed silently the scene without understanding anything.

« And I guess he will be at the same spot as usual? »

« Yeah! »

« Cool! » Arizona replied relieved. « Take care Pit! See you! »

She walked to the side door and entered the car. She sighed lightly and looked at Callie, tears on edge of her eyes.

Taking the chance, Callie carefully put a hand on her shoulder to comfort her and the blonde nodded in understanding. Arizona Robbins was tough and strong but she was letting her emotion overwhelm her right now.

Callie started the car and they left the place in a comfortable silence.

She wanted to ask a billion questions to her. She wanted to know if she was okay if she needed anything. But she didn't want to push her too far knowing she didn't like to be mothered.

« I'm sorry you lost your belongings. » Callie stated sincerely.

« Oh, there was nothing valuable in that car. » Arizona explained. « I've been homeless for a quite some time now. I learned the rules quickly enough. »

Arizona was already back with her sarcasm and the statement made Callie gulp. Seeing where her patient had been living had upset her a little more than what she let on.

Because there was something she hadn't confessed to Arizona, and knowing what she knew made Callie more confused how that smart woman had ended there.

She knew a few things on Arizona and her past.

After her chat with Jo, the two women had googled her name and had found out that Jo's speculation was right.

Arizona was in a medical field but not anyone.

Dr. Arizona Robbins, pediatric surgeon, was travelling worldwide, helping children in poor countries or on natural disaster fields like earthquake, epidemics, tsunami, and giant storm.

She was also involved in several leagues of children protection against physical and sexual abuse.

She was working for a NGO based in Los Angeles and was kind of famous in her field.

But mysteriously, there was nothing about her since 2012 as if she had vanished from earth.

How can somebody like her have found herself living in that creepy place, surrounded by drug addicts, dealers and who knows what kind of troubled people. What happened to her?

Sure, they would have to talk about that one day or another, and knowing that she was a surgeon was a big news for the trial. It was going to help them in a lot of ways and the results would be even more precise.

But now, Callie was wondering if Arizona would be psychologically strong enough to undergo the whole process. She didn't have any idea of the reason her tester had lost everything to the point she was now on the margins of society.

« Can you stop near that gas station please? » Arizona suddenly asked.

« Sure... » Callie replied as she was still trying to figure out what had happened to her patient.

« I won't be long. I just have a friend here and he has something to give me. »

She walked out of the car and Callie tried to look at where she was going in the mirror.

The blonde went to the corner of the street where an old man was standing. He seemed to be homeless too, dressed with dirty and ragged clothes.

He gave something to Arizona, like a carton box. Arizona opened it and looked in. It was the size of a shoe box.

She hugged the old man for a long time before talking with him for a few seconds.

The more she was looking at her, the more beautiful Callie found her. She was for the moment a real enigma.

She knew nothing about her, except the few articles she found on the internet and everything was really confusing.

And even Callie was feeling confused. And she didn't like that. She was a Cartesian person and she hated guessing or imagining. She needed concrete facts and concrete elements. And with Arizona Robbins, everything was foggy and insinuating

« I'm sorry, it took a little longer than I thought. » Arizona said, opening the door and making Callie jump.

She started the car back as Arizona carefully grabbed her shoe box.

« What's in there? » Callie asked without any kind of thought.

Arizona's finger curled stronger against the box and she didn't answer. It was too soon to talk about it. And it did not concern her at all.

« Are you married? » Arizona suddenly asked.

But Callie was no fool and she knew this was her co driver's way to change the subject that she didn't want to talk about by picking another inappropriate subject.

« I'm not actually. » Callie replied. « But I don't think it's any of your business... »

« Oh, Really? » Arizona said. « Because I know that you have tons of questions to ask me but you don't have the guts to do it... »

« I'm not going to play that game with you. I know you have done it with Dr. Wilson, but with me it's another story. » Callie replied, vexed.

« Let's make a deal. I'm going to give you two questions a day that I will answer. And in return, I can ask you two questions too... We have 2 joker each. »

« I'm not your play friend Arizona, I'm your doctor... »

« Come on! I know I intrigue you. » Arizona said, making Callie blush lightly as she tried to remain neutral. « And you intrigue me too... People are curious, that's human nature... »

« And what's the purpose of this silly game? »

« Getting to know each other. I bet you know that doctor / Patient links have to be trustful and tight right? »

« Okay, right... Two questions a day but nothing more! » Callie said.

« Awesome! » Arizona said, excited like a child on Christmas morning. « So here is my first question: Have you ever been married with kids? »

« That's two questions in one... »

« No, the way you're asking is an important part of the game! »

« If you said so... » Callie said, getting annoyed by that game already.

« Come on! Answer the question... »

« I've been married... Twice. Almost three but I broke up with her before the wedding. And I don't have kids... At the moment. »

The precision made Arizona smiled tenderly. She barely knew her but she thought she would make a great mom.

« My turn... What was your job before you found yourself... in this situation... »

« You're such a pussy Dr. Torres! » Arizona teased, wincing a little in pain because of the big smile she had on her face. « You can say homeless, in the street... there's a lot of words to describe 'this situation'. »

Callie bit her lip in frustration. Walking on eggshells was the only thing she thought would lead Arizona to answer her question. But as usual, she was clearly making fun of her.

« To be clear, you want to know the last job I had before I lost my apartment right? » Arizona asked.

« Yeah... » Callie replied, wrinkling her forehead.

« Well, I was dispensing some bullshit leaflet in the streets. A friend of mine was doing it but he was sick and he didn't want to lose his job. So I took over for him. »

« You are kidding me right? » Callie interjected.

« Why would I ... » Arizona kept messing with her.

« I was asking about your real job! »

« That is a real job, and I believe it's a very ungrateful one. People don't even look at you, you are being insulted, standing in the cold all day long... That's a really hard job! »

« That's not what I'm talking about... » Callie interjected, visibly mad at Arizona.

« I know. That's why I told you, wording is important Dr. Torres... »

Callie didn't reply, too pissed to talk. She had managed to make her enter her game and now she was stuck. Moreover, she fell in the trap first and she was annoyed by that.

« Oh, so you are sulking now? »

« You know what, let's stop it. You're happy, you got me fooled. » Callie said coldly.

« Oh Come on Doc... You already know what my job was. »

« Why would I be asking this then? »

« Because you don't have the guts to tell me you've been looking on the internet for me Dr. Torres. » She smirked while Callie was pursing her lips, trying not to care about what she was telling. « I've tried to erase most of things but you know, it's impossible to get rid of everything on line. »

As a silence settled, Callie's phone buzzed multiple times but she let it. She didn't know if she could keep the subject of Arizona being a surgeon in the conversation without worsening things.

« You still have a question to ask me. » Arizona noticed, taking the lead to change the conversation but this time it was making thing easier for Callie.

« You too. » Callie finally replied, breaking her silence.

« Okay. So, what do you want to know... »

« I'm just going to ask you the same question as you asked me earlier... Have you ever been married with kids? »

« Nope! » Was the simple answer Arizona gave her before turning her head to the window?

Noticing that the subject seemed delicate to talk about, Callie decided not to insist. Arizona must have told her the truth but her ability to play with the words might lead her to hide something. She would keep that subject for later but noticed that it was something she really wanted to know better about.

« Alright... Your turn... »

« Well, I'd like to ask you why you are so caring with me. Because I think there's something much more than that damn trial. » Arizona asked. Because she knew how doctors interacted with their patients as a matter of fact. But here, Callie was really involved, by her side and she had already noticed it.

« You're going to help me through my research, I'm just grateful. » Callie explained, her cheeks blushing. Ultimately she was telling the truth. But something about that woman was attracting her and she didn't want to admit it.

« Yeah, of course... But you are really involved. You are bearing me even if I'm a pain in your ass, you are checking in all the time... » Arizona précised as Callie parked her car in the hospital parking lot.

« I'm just a caring kind of person. »

« That's good to know... By the way, thank you for the ride! I appreciate it, a lot. » the blonde stated, offering a wonderful smile to Callie who gasped one more time.

It was time for her to get back to work and to focus on something else.

…...

She entered her office, closing the door behind her.

That road trip with Arizona had been anything but easy. The young woman had been talkative and what was annoying Callie right now was she was almost able to read her like an open book.

But at least, they had some conversation and she knew a little more about Arizona's life. Nothing accurate but some pieces of the puzzle were discovered. There was still a long road to go but she smiled, thinking about what was coming next.

She was going to rent a room for Arizona in a hotel near the hospital for the duration of the trial. She also had to introduce her to the team who will be working with them. She already knew Jo, but there was Amelia Shepherd in charge of the brain captor implant, Miranda bailey the physiotherapist, Jackson Avery, robotics technician and Owen Hunt, a trauma surgeon, specialized in the aftermath of amputation who was just a consulter in the trial.

It was her team and they were working closely and efficiently together. She couldn't wait for them to get to know Arizona.

Yawning, Callie walked to her desk where a lot of paper work was waiting for her.

As she sat, she took her phone out from the pocket of her jacket and checked it. Remembering it had buzzed several times, she noticed she had a voicemail just when Jo entered her office.

« Oh you're back Dr. Torres! I needed to show... »

« Shhhh! » Callie welcomed her with a finger on her mouth.

« Hello. I'm looking for a Dr. Wilson who contacted me on Facebook. She left me your phone number saying you could give me some information about Arizona Robbins. I'd like to talk to you, it's important. Can you call me back at this number? Thank you. Oh, and I'm Teddy Altman. Dr. Teddy Altman. »

A little lost, Callie tried to process the information she just received before throwing a death glare to her fellow.

« Wilson, what did you do? »

…...

« I just spotted the ad on Facebook... » The young doctor replied under the reproaching look of her attending.

« You must be kidding right? »

« Why are you so pissed? You have googled her name too! »

« Under YOUR advice! And that's not the problem! » Callie yelled. « First, you have contacted a person you don't even know and second, you gave her MY phone number! What's wrong with you! »

« I just looked for 'Arizona Robbins' on Facebook and I just found that message from a Theodora Altman from Los Angeles who was looking for a woman called Arizona Robbins. » Jo explained. « The message was 18 months old and I just contacted her to see if we were talking about the same person... »

« And you gave her my cell number... »

« I'm sorry Dr. Torres, I misjudged the situation. I'm going to call her back and explain it was a mistake. »

Callie sighed and finally took a minute to think about the situation. If that woman had took the time to call her back, it meant that she was still looking for Arizona. But she needed more information.

« Can you show me that message? »

« Of course! » Jo said, walking to Callie's laptop. « Can I? »

Callie nodded and Jo looked for the message she found the night before.

« See, it's here. It's a group where you can leave a message for someone you haven't seen in a while, lost or missing person. » she explained, going to the message concerning Arizona. « Here it is. »

 _I'm looking for my best friend. Her name is Arizona Robbins. She's blonde, blue eyes, 165 cm. She uses a prosthetic following the loss of her left leg. She might be on the west coast._

 _I'm very concerned. She left without telling anyone. Her car and some of her belongings are missing too. And as I'm not from her family I can't report her missing._

 _Arizona if you are reading these words, we are all looking for a sign from you. Please just let us know you're okay. We need to know you're alright. We love you and miss you._

« See that can only be her right? » Jo asked.

« I don't think there's a lot of 'Arizona' Robbins using a prosthetic leg. Everything fits her... » Callie upsettingly replied.

« That means someone is looking for her. »

« She told me she had no family and no friends... » Callie whispered.

« Are you going to call that woman back? » Jo asked.

« I don't know. I mean, I don't even know why you have done this. Arizona is here to be our prosthetic tester. She did not sign those paper for us to intrude in her private life without authorization! » Callie interjected.

« I know, I exceeded the limits. I'm sorry! » Jo apologized. « We've been looking for that tester for too long, and now that we have her, I don't want to screw everything up. Let's forget about that. »

« It's not going to be that easy now. I know her friend is worried about her whereabouts. » Callie said. « I think I'm going to call her back. »

« But you just said... »

« Wilson... I'm the boss, you're my fellow, just leave it. I'm just trying to do what's best for my patient. »

…...

 _« Wake up! For god sake's Arizona! You've been laying in that bed for days! »_

 _Receiving nothing but a frozen and empty look from her friend, Teddy clenched her fists and bend her head in defeat._

 _« I know you think you should have died out there. I know you don't want to hear that right now, but we're here for you! So stop cutting us off. »_

 _« Get the fuck out of my apartment! » Arizona yelled, throwing a bottle of water in Teddy's direction, bursting into tears and screaming in pain._

 _Teddy rushed to her side and hugged her tightly, rubbing her back, and crying with her._

 _« Everything that happened to you was unfair. I can't say that I know what you are going through because it's impossible that I would have been able to survive it. But I'm here and I will never leave you! I'm your friend! » Teddy whispered._

 _« They all said that... »_

 _« I'm not your mother, I'm not going to disappear on you. I'm not your father or Tim or Annie. But I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere! »_

 _They stayed like that for a long moment, Teddy trying to reassure her and to ease her pain._

 _When she was a little quieter, Arizona broke the embrace and wiped the last tears she had in the corner of her eye._

 _« I... Uh... April kept calling. Don't you want to talk to her? » Teddy explained carefully, fearing her friend's reaction_

 _« Screw her! I don't want to see her ever again! Tell her that! »_

 _« Arizona! She just wants to help. She's your … »_

 _« Don't you dare say that. She's nothing to me. And get the fuck out! »_


	4. Somewhere along in the bitterness

**AN: / Hi guys.**

 **I don't have much to say except Thank you all for your positive feedback!**  
 **This chapter is about Callie And Arizona getting to know each other a little more.**  
 **Some pieces of Arizona's past would be revealed but that's not the most important ones.  
With that story, I try to improve the descriptive lines, which I am not really good at. This chapter is more about dialogue, I'm more comfortable writting it.  
As english is not my first language I don't have a lot of vocabulary, but I'm trying to improve.**

 **Shyalien help me as my beta and as usual I'm very grateful.**

 **I really hope you'll like it. Take a few second to express what you think in a review. I love to read them.**

 **I know for those who are following me that I haven't updates in a while but I'm having some professional trouble actually, so my mood is not really into writting. It willg et better soon and you'll have your update, I promises!**

 **Have a nice reading!**

...

It wasn't supposed to be like this.

But Jo had done it and now someone was worried, waiting for Callie to call them back.

What was she supposed to do? She wasn't sure.

She was building a relationship based on confidence and trust with Arizona and she didn't want to lose it.

There was too much at stake between the trial process beginning and... Something else.

Callie knew that Arizona had woken up something in her, a kind of interest, curiosity, an admiration in a way.

There were so many questions about her that were running through her head and she wanted to know more about her.

She shook her head trying to gather her thoughts with difficulty and sighed in exasperation.

Even if she was struggling ethically speaking, she had made her mind. She was going to call that Teddy Altman back. It was to reassure that so called friends of her patient, but at the same time it was pure curiosity. She wanted to know, she needed to know more. It was a guilty pleasure like when you eat sweets secretly and you don't want to be caught. And Callie was acting a little out of her field.

She hesitated until the last moment, her thumb tracing the shape of the call button and finally pressed it, nervously taping on the top of her desk and her throat suddenly felt very dry.

« Hello? »

« Hello, I am looking for Dr. Teddy Altman? » Callie asked almost shyly, her voice so raspy it made her cough.

« It's me. Are you the person who I left a voice message regarding Arizona? » Teddy asked, her voice full of expectation.

« It's... Yes, it's me. I'm Dr. Callie Torres » Callie replied, coughing again. She wasn't sure anymore if it was a good idea, but it was too late to step back. At least that Dr. Altman seemed to be a nice person.

« Oh thanks god... I am so grateful you're calling me back! Do you have any information about Arizona? Have you seen her lately? Is she okay? »

The flow of desperate questions hit Callie. She was not ready to receive such an expected welcome and it took her a few moment before answering. She knew she had to keep a certain distance to respect what was left of Arizona's privacy.

« I... Wait, wait, wait... » Callie asked, exhaling in the words she pronounced. « First, I have to tell you that Ms. Robbins doesn't know I'm calling you. »

« Oh... »

« And I'm not very comfortable talking to you without her consent. » Callie explained, rolling her eyes as she noticed the non-sense she was saying. « She's my patient, and we were just looking for a relative …. »

« Wait! She's in a hospital? What happened? Is she Okay? » Teddy cut Callie off, anxiousness audible in her cracked voice.

« She is actually. Don't worry, she is okay. » Callie immediately cleared Teddy's fears. She felt she was drowning explaining the situation.

« Thank god... »

Callie remained speechless as she heard her interlocutor sobbing. The poor woman must have been worried as hell to be so on edge. Whatever was her relationship with Arizona, she was just relieved and letting Callie hear it.

« She's alright. » Callie repeated, trying to keep a professional tone for the conversation. « In fact, she's been hospitalized for a minor injury. I'm an orthopedic surgeon, and Ms. Robbins charts were send to me by my colleague who knows I'm working on a trial regarding a sensitive prosthetic. So her case caught my attention to be a part of that trial. »

« Oh... » Teddy simply reacted. « That's a good thing. »

« Yes. She agreed and signed the papers yesterday. » Callie explained, still thrilled to have found her tester.

« She signed the papers? Has it been easy or tricky? Because she can be a pain in the ass when she's not in charge. » Teddy laughed between her last sob which make Callie smile.

They were definitely talking about the same person.

« Listen, I think that it's great that she's included in that clinical trial. It mean she's going to be followed and taken care of. » Teddy said, the relief of knowing her friend was alive, audible. « So I don't think you should tell her we spoke. »

« Really? Are you in bad terms with her? Because the procedure is going to be tough, so I think she's going to need some support... » Callie asked. She was surprised by Teddy's request, thinking she would want to see her friend as soon as possible. But after all, she knew her story and not Callie.

« I know... I know... » Teddy whispered. « But nobody from her past can help her. We were worried and you are giving us the news we needed. I trust you with her. »

« Are you sure? Can you contact her family? She told me she had no one left, but apparently you care very much about her. » Callie asked, hoping she can help her contact Arizona's family.

« It's almost right, she doesn't have a lot of family left, and anyway she's not talking to them. Arizona had been through hell. I can't tell you what happened to her, it's not my place. But almost all her life has been a fight. And she has lost a lot. So please, take care of her. She's strong on the outside but the last time I saw her, she was destroyed inside. I hope she's healing and she has managed to find whatever she needed to get better. I will call you back in a few weeks to check on her. And don't hesitate to call me if something happens. »

« If you say so... » Callie replied, a little disappointed but more intrigued by Arizona's story than before.

« I know her. Every time she feels oppressed, or whenever she thinks she's not free to do what she wants, she bails and runs away. » Teddy confessed in a sigh.

« Are you telling me she's unstable? » Callie worried suddenly, stretching her shoulders nervously.

« It's a kind of instability, but if you let her be in control, she might stay... She can be unpredictable sometimes. And I know that because I am supposed to be her best friend, and I had no idea of where she was for two long years. » Teddy explained. The relief and the tension both detectable in her words.

« For the moment, she is in her hospital room, waiting for the physiotherapist. So I'm going to check on her. » Callie explained. « I will take what you told me in consideration. Thank you. »

« You're welcome. Thanks for giving me news on her. Good luck with her, she is a hard costumer! »

…...

Miranda Bailey was a woman with a strong temper. She was respected but also feared in her professional field.

But she also had a huge heart and was really human.

So that Morning, when she opened the door of the research lab, she knew she was going to meet a player.

Callie had explained her what kind of character Arizona was and she wasn't afraid of her. She had dealt with all kinds of patients, And Arizona Robbins wouldn't be the worst, she was sure of that.

« Ms. Robbins? » She asked with an affirmative voice receiving a simple nod from the blonde. « Hello! I'm Miranda Bailey. I'm a physiotherapist AND a prosthetician. So I'm going to work with you throughout the whole process. »

She offered Arizona her hand and who shook it firmly.

« Nice to meet you. You can call me Arizona if I can call you Miranda. » The blonde replied politely with a dimpled smirk.

« I can do that, and you don't have to charm me Arizona. » She said as she was putting her bag on a free desk of the lab. « I'm not here to be your friend, I'm here to make that trial a success. »

Arizona smiled. She seemed to have found a rival in the showdown relationship she liked to share with people. Miranda was going to be a tough candidate and she already liked it.

« Today we're going to get acquainted a little more. And then we'll try to make a mold of your stump for the socket. Am I explaining myself well? »

« Ma'am, yes Ma'am! » Arizona replied, taking a serious facial expression which made Miranda look at her in annoyance. « Have you been in the military or something? »

« I'm not here to talk about my personal life. » Miranda replied. Callie was right, Arizona was annoying.

« Well, you're going to, because otherwise, I won't say a word... »

« Arizona... You want to make it work or wreck that trial? Because I am working to make it a complete success. So if you're not in, you better go away immediately. » Miranda stated. She was telling the truth. She was excellent at her job, she was one of the best and she was used to succeeding in everything she was doing.

« I'd like it to work actually, but I need to be in a quiet atmosphere with people I trust. And I'm going to share personal stuff with you, so the least you can do is extend the same courtesy... » Arizona fake pouted as Miranda stared at her with suspicion.

« Take your pants off soldier... And No I have never been in the army. But I think you have... » Miranda said because she had noticed the grey hoodie Arizona was wearing and her tank top seemed to be army clothes.

« Yeah! Now I like you better! » Arizona smiled. « Well I had relatives in the army. But I never joined it. »

She took of her ripped jeans and at the same time, Amelia Shepard entered the lab, slamming the doors and drinking her latte. She walked by the two women to a desk.

« Hey Miranda. » She greeted the shorter woman who was examining Arizona's stump.

« Hi. » Bailey barely replied, focusing on her work. She and Amelia were working in the same team for the trial, but they had opposite personalities.

« So, you must be the one? » the brunette asked Arizona, looking at her with a playful grin on her face.

« I am so famous over here... » Arizona smirked as Amelia approached her. « And you are? »

« Dr. Amelia Shepard from neuro. I'll be working with you apparently. »

« If by putting some creepy captors after opening my skull you mean working, then yeah, it's going to happen. » Arizona replied sarcastically, looking at the new doctor intensely, almost scanning her entirely. She loved to do that kind of thing when she met new people. It was a way to look at their reaction and trying to know with what kind of person she would deal.

Amelia smiled. Second degree humor, almost trash, she loved it. She used them all the time and she liked people with respondent. She turned on the side to observe Miranda working and noticed what seemed to be a tattoo on Arizona's upper tight. Smirking at that detail, she couldn't help but think that little rebel side of Arizona was going to be attractive, professionally speaking.

« Nice tattoo. » She said, looking at the blonde. « What is it? Two A intertwined? »

« Kind of. High school mistake. I'm sure you know what it is. » she replied raising her eyebrow in provocation.

Amelia looked at her one more time and took a chart from Callie's desk where a note was addressed to her. It was the first element regarding the trial and she had to plunge into it, the sooner the better.

She opened it and sat on the desk while Arizona was observing her from far. Something about that new doctor was like a Deja vu.

« Do I know you? » She asked suddenly. « Because your face seems familiar. »

Amelia raised her head from the chart. And smiled. There was definitely something she liked in that woman.

« I was going to say the same! It's your name that sounds familiar... » She said, turning the page of the charts. « Have you been to...? »

« Hopkins! » Arizona said before her. « Yeah, that's where I saw you! »

« Hey! We're working here Shepherd, so please, get back to your office. You'll see her when it's your time. » Miranda snapped as if they were talking about the custody of a child. She wasn't a huge fan of Amelia, Arizona was messing with her, and so she needed silence to work on the patient.

Without a word, Amelia rolled her eyes and walked toward the doors.

« What about I bring you a coffee when you're done with the Colonel and we talk about it. » She offered the blonde, well decided to hear about her time in Hopkins.

« Sounds like a plan! » Arizona replied excitedly as Amelia opened the lab door without looking ahead and Callie almost bumped into her.

« Sorry! » Callie said in surprise. « Oh did you find the charts? »

« They are right here! » Amelia said, showing it to her. « I'm going to check them out! See you. »

Callie looked at her going away and then turned her attention back on Arizona. She was in the lab, already working with Bailey. The atmosphere seemed peaceful, Arizona was smiling. Everything was on the good road for the start of the trial.

« Hey Bailey. How are things going? » She asked when Arizona began to stare at her. She didn't need it to be upset by the blonde so she immediately tried to avoid it. She was here to work, focusing on the future of prosthetic limb. But she had also crossed a line by calling Teddy Altman, and she was feeling a little preoccupied.

« It's pretty great. » Miranda said as she removed her plastic gloves. « Arizona's stump is very clean, no edema, no visible problem. I just think we're going to need to tone it a little for it to fit the socket. But so far so good... »

« Great! » Callie replied, relieved and excited at the same time. « Are you done? »

« No I have several questions to ask her. » the prostetician announced. It was a routine procedure, but with a patient such as Arizona, nothing was going the way you thought it would.

« Do your job, I'm just going to check some email. Act as if I wasn't in the room. » Callie lied.

Looking at her with a suspicious grin, Arizona took time to observe the ortho surgeon in detail.

Something was making her smile each time she was looked at her.

She would be lying if she said she didn't find her attractive with her long dark hair, her bright smile, her hypnotical brown eyes...

But Arizona was not in the mood for thinking about her in that way. More than that, she didn't want to. Her policy when it came to love were strict inalienable: no attachment, no feelings, nothing...

That meant no pain, no resentment, no betrayal, and no tears. She was a free woman. She could do what she wanted to do when she wanted.

She had loved once and it had destroyed her and brought her in the darkness of sorrow.

It would never happen to her again. Ever.

« Arizona? Are you listening? » Miranda asked noticing the blonde's lingering eyes on Callie.

« Oh, yes, Sorry... » She mumbled, turning her gaze to the prosthetician.

« I need to ask you a few question about your accident and the sequel. So you said it was a crash? What kind of crash? » Miranda asked. She wasn't here to mother Arizona. She didn't want to play the shrink. She only needed technical and medical details.

Callie raised her head from her chart discretely. She didn't want Arizona to notice her but she feared her reaction at Bailey's question.

« You know my former prosthetician used to say that swimming helped to maintain the stump tonic... » Arizona stated.

Receiving a frozen glare from the shorter woman, she bulged and began to think she had found someone more stubborn than her. The showdown was close.

« Okay, okay... I was in a plane crash. »

The surprise of the announcement left a silence in the room for a few seconds. Callie knew now what happened. Not the details, but she wasn't expecting that kind of accident.

« And, were you suffering from other injuries? » Miranda asked, not letting the awkwardness of the moment go further. She needed to stick to the required information and not let the emotions settle. It wouldn't help anybody and she knew it.

« Nothing important. Bruises, cuts and a minor head trauma. I was stuck on my seat and half-conscious when the paramedics found me. The plane crashed on the landing runway, so they were on the site pretty fast. I don't really remember the events. But my leg was too damaged and they didn't have what it took to save it. » Arizona explained quietly, almost as if she was talking about another person or about a patient.

« Where did it happen? » Miranda continued.

« Is that important for your interview or is that just curiosity Miranda? » Arizona asked with a smirk.

« Curiosity. » The prosthetician replied sincerely, not assuming the storm that was waking up in Arizona's mind.

« Well it occurred in Indonesia. And if you want other details it was during the first Holiday I took in my entire life. We were coming back from a smaller island to Phuket and there was some kind of storm. So we had to do an emergency landing and the gusts punched the plane against the tarmac at more than 170 mph. There was 70 passengers and 6 staff member. We were 17 survivors. »

Callie and Miranda remained speechless. They wanted to know, so Arizona gave them the story without filters. That's when Teddy's word came back to Callie's thought.

« That's pretty impressive right? » Arizona said, her eyes darker and cold. « I lost consciousness during the impact. And When I woke up I saw what I think was a dead body's leg. But later I realized it was my own leg so twisted and broken that my brain couldn't get it was mine. »

She laughed nervously, increasing the uncomfortable vibes reverberating in the room.

She hadn't been pushed too much by Bailey's question but somehow, the pressure around her was too difficult to handle, and as usual, she reacted by pure provocation.

All she could do was to throw everything away and run, never looking back and tried to feel free again.

« I... I think I'm done here. » Miranda simply stated. « And you are right. We're going to schedule some swing sessions to tone your stump. We'll do the mold later. »

« Come on Miranda, I can give you more creepy details... » Arizona said, laughing bitterly.

« I'll see you tomorrow. » The shorter woman replied, still under the shock of Arizona's angry reaction. « Good bye Dr. Torres. »

« Bye Bailey... » Callie Mumbled

She walked out of the room, and Arizona immediately grabbed her jeans on the floor and put it back on. She approached the wheelchair and literally threw herself in it. She knew she had gone too far, but she didn't know how to react otherwise since a long time.

« See, when you want to know something, just ask. » She said, staring at Callie. « But just to warn you, my life is just a big mess. So, choose what you want to know. »

She wheeled her chair to the doors and left the lab, leaving a speechless Callie.

Something seemed dead inside that woman. What could she have been through to be always on edge and mad.

…...

Later the same day, Arizona was sitting in her wheel chair in an empty room, looking in the air through the window. She seemed cool on the outside, but she was cold inside.

She was pissed at everything. It had been a long time since she had to think to the crash and all the things it had changed in her life.

When she found herself homeless, it wasn't totally by chance. Of course a lot of events had lead her there but somewhere, unconsciously she knew that it was maybe the only way she could survive.

She had fled everything that could remind her of what she lost and the so called life she was trying to live after that fricking plane smashed itself on the ground.

She wasn't able to handle all the loss it had caused her. And after losing hope, desire and believe in everything, she didn't think living worth anything, especially for someone who survived that fatal accident.

Scratching her neck nervously one more time she stopped when she felt the blood flowing on her skin.

It wasn't a relief, like some people found by cutting their skin willingly, it was just exhaustion and the pain of remembering those horrible memories she had forbidden herself to think about for so long, just to survive.

« Dr. Robbins? » A voice said behind her.

She didn't react. She hadn't been called like that for so long. The man approached and stood by her side, avoiding eye contact and looking at the same empty space she was trying to lose her thoughts.

« I'm Owen Hunt, from trauma. » He introduced himself. « I'm a consulter on your trial. »

« Great. » She sarcastically replied. « So Torres and Bailey must have told you to come and see if I was still upset and crazy? »

« We talked about you, regarding the trial of course. But, indeed they explained to me your breakdown. But I'm used to that a lot too... »

Arizona turned her gaze to meet blue pastel eyes.

« Wow, they're sending me the traumatized Buddy... Great call... » She snapped. She didn't need a babysitter, she didn't need anybody around. She wanted to be alone, to be on her own and forget about everything.

« Well it is actually. I don't know what you've been through but I've seen pretty bad stuff after a terrible life event. So I know what it is to be bitter, to feel everything collapsing around you without being able to pull it together. That's just what I'm saying. » He simply replied. « And I wanted to meet you as we're going to work together some times. »

He wasn't pushy, he was quiet. He wasn't aggressively asking question. He didn't consider her as a poor damaged thing. He was just there, open and listening.

He smiled at her and began to walk away when Arizona called him, wanting to take the first step for the first time in a while.

« You can tell her I'm okay. I'm waiting for her. She promised me a hotel room, so I'll wait for her in the lobby. »

…...

Arizona had taken back the prosthetic Callie had given her the day before and was standing in the lobby when the ortho surgeon met her.

She looked at her and smiled, trying to show her she was making efforts to get back to her.

« See, I took the crutches. » She said proudly when Callie approached her.

Callie just nodded and grabbed the bag that was on the floor next to Arizona. She was still upset by the scene she had made in the lab earlier, but she was trying to get over it.

« Are you ready? The hotel is just three block away, but I'm going to drive you. » She said

« Okay let's go... »

…...

After a silent but comfortable ride, they arrived at the hotel Callie had booked for her patient. Arizona had requested the cheapest hotel she can find but Callie hadn't really listened.

She had chosen a middle class hotel, comfortable but not flashy. She wanted Arizona to be comfortable.

« So yours is room 502. » Callie said as she was carrying Arizona's military bag.

« Okay. Here we go... » The blonde simply replied.

For the first time since they met, Arizona was letting Callie lead the event without playing or arguing. She was tired both physically and mentally, so she could help let go a little.

The two women entered the elevator without talking and Callie pushed the floor's number button.

The doors closed, and Callie hoped it wouldn't take long before they opened back.

She didn't want to be stuck with Arizona for too long, not knowing what to tell her. Between the scene she made in the lab, her conversation with Teddy and everything else, she didn't really know how to act in Arizona's presence anymore.

« I'm not going to say I'm sorry because I'm not totally sorry. » Arizona broke the silence. « It's just I don't like talking about it. It's not about the trauma or anything it's just that I don't remember everything and I almost repeat what the paramedics told me. And there is something else about that crash but it's another story... »

« I'm not here to intrude in your privacy Arizona. I'm here to work on the trial and that's it. » Callie cut her off a little abruptly.

« Oh, Okay... So now we're remaining to professional relationship? I get it... » Arizona said as the elevators doors opened, getting out of it before Callie. So this was it. She might have messed with her too soon, too hard and now, she was on her own again.

She walked to the door of room 502, helped by her crutches and waited for Callie to open it.

« It's good. Thank you Dr. Torres. You can put the bag on the bed, I will see you tomorrow. » She said, entering the room and looking around, avoiding Callie's eyes.

Rolling her eyes, Callie obeyed and dropped the bag on the bed.

« So it's like that with you? It's black or it's white. There's no in-between? » Callie asked, annoyed by Arizona childish behavior.

« In between sucks. » Arizona replied, still avoiding her doctor's gaze.

« Arizona... I'm trying to help you. I'd really like this project to work... So if we could at least be friends, I think the whole experiment will get better, don't you think. »

Arizona sighed and let her body fall on the bed. Callie was right. And she had signed the papers. Even if she didn't want to be some kind of passive puppet between a bunch of over experimented medical professionals, she had to follow the rules now.

« Okay, I'm sorry... » She just replied. « I think I'm not used to interacting normally with people anymore... »

« It's okay... » Callie said, smiling. « I think whatever the hurdles you had to undergo in your life, you are allowed to be on edge. So, friends? »

« Friends... » Arizona said, surrendering her bitterness and offering a dimpled smile while shaking Callie's hand. She felt a little disappointed but it was the way things were going to be.

« Would you...uhm... Have dinner with me? » She asked suddenly making Callie blush.

The brunette had been thinking to asking her the same thing for hours but didn't have the nerve herself to do it. But it wasn't for the same reason obviously. She understood Arizona didn't want to be alone that night, but she had to keep the boundaries. A dinner wasn't a big deal.

« Oh... I don't know... » Callie hesitated.

«I'm sorry, you must have other plans. »

« No, actually I don't... » She replied as her hands began to sweat a little. « So okay... »

« Really? Cool... But I can just buy us a pizza... » Arizona laughed. She hadn't thought about it but she wanted to show she was grateful.

« It's great... I like Pizza! »

« I like pizza too! »

…...

As Callie was gone to buy the pizza, Arizona grabbed the shoe box she had gotten back the day before. She squeezed it emotionally and smiled. It was safe and nothing else mattered.

She opened it for the first time in months and she took a deep breath. Her life was in that box. Everything she loves, every memory of painful and happy time.

An old piece of paper, three pictures, a book, some cash too, a ring, an old knife and some old glasses. Every items meant the world to her and she wasn't able to touch them, afraid to waste them.

« Hey... » Callie greeted Arizona, back with the pizza.

« Good, I was starving! » Arizona said, closing the shoe box and putting it on the floor.

Callie sat at the opposite end of the bed and opened the pizza box.

« This pizza is not so bad. » the Latina commented, taking her first bite.

« Yeah, not so bad... » Arizona repeated dreamingly. « Oh, I have my two questions to ask! »

« Me too! » Callie interjected. She thought the blonde would have forgotten about it, but she didn't know Arizona Robbins well enough.

« I go first... » She decided, not leaving any choice. « So tell me everything you found about me while googling my name? »

« You're still on that? » Callie rolled her eyes.

« Answer the question Dr. Torres! »

« I... You're right, Dr. Wilson gave me the idea. » Callie confessed, avoiding to look at Arizona directly.

« So? »

« We found a few articles about you and your career as a peds surgeon, travelling all over the world to rescue children in under-developed countries. » She explained, praying for Arizona not to notice she was deliberately forgetting to talk about Teddy Altman.

« Yay! I'm busted! »

« And that's it... »

« So I still have some mysteries around me... » Arizona said, trying to be teasing but apparently annoyed that Callie knew about her past. She knew by giving her real name, her past will resurface.

« Well it's great to know, because as a doctor, your feelings are going to be more precise, and the data will be better! » Callie explained, trying to keep it professional.

« If you say so... » Arizona replied. She seemed annoyed but totally disconnected from that part of her life.

« So it's my turn... » Callie said. « Are you really happy to be a part of our trial, I mean really? »

« I'm more curious than Happy... » Arizona replied frankly. « I mean it's a great opportunity I get it, but that's not what I'm talking about. I could have stayed on the streets, I am not unhappy there. I could have gotten my prosthetic back One day... So I'm more curious to see where we are going than happy, to say the truth. »

Callie felt relieved by the honesty she just received from Arizona. It was may be the beginning of a constructive and concrete conversation and after the show she had given to her and Bailey, she needed to hear that.

« So, my turn! » Arizona said letting a big smile appear. « So, Dr. Torres... Divorced twice, almost married a third time right? So Why? I want to know why your three marriages failed. »

Callie sighed and her body tensed under the pressure. It was the aspect she hated to shreds, especially with a stranger. It was chaotic, she felt pathetic but after all, it was her life and she had get over it.

« I don't know if I want to answer that... » She said, turning her gaze, almost pouting.

« So are you using your joker? » Arizona smirked. « But you can be sure that I will find some sneakier question for later... »

Exasperated but also a little amused, Callie cleared her throat and decided to answer the question.

« My first husband was my college boyfriend. We went to med school together. We were together for over a year when his father died. He didn't deal with the situation and one day, he proposed. I was so blinded by my desire to be in love that I said yes immediately. We were about to be interns, I was 24, too young to think twice. The wedding was pathetic in a little chapel during a trip to Las Vegas... My family was shocked, his was thrilled. A few months later, he cheated on me with my own sister who was visiting me. It was the first time they met. But today, they're married, they have two kids and are happier than ever. I like to think that it was a blessing in disguise ... »

« Wow... that's... » Arizona mumbled, surprised by the first revelation. Callie was sincere and she was telling everything.

« I know... You thought you had a crappy life... Welcome to mine... » Callie said, clenching her teeth realizing the awkwardness of her remarks. « I'm sorry... I didn't mean ... »

« Oh! Don't apologize! It was kind of funny... » Arizona replied, not upset at all. « So, second one? »

« Oh my... » Callie sighed. It was the same old song... « I met him at my best friend's Wedding, Dr. Grey. He was just taking an attending job at the hospital in plastics... We got along very well soon and we hooked up pretty fast. Less than a year later, we were married. And then a beautiful stranger arrived from nowhere. She was a resident, and Grey's half-sister... They fell in love and it was beautiful. A real love at first sight like we all dream about. I wasn't even sad or mad. They were meant to be together... He and I were just friends and we met in a period of our life where we were terribly lonely... »

« That's kind of sweet I guess... » Arizona replied, touched by Callie's self-abnegation.

« It is, actually. We are still very close, he's my best male friend. » Callie smiled, thinking about Mark.

« And what about the attempted third one? »

« I could use the joker on this one... » Callie said shamefully, putting her face in her hands.

« Come on! »

« Alright... At least that time, I took the time to figure what I wanted... » Callie explained before explaining the whole story. « She... because it's a she... She was the new head of cardio, and everybody hated her... She was cold, bossy, snooty... But I got to know her and I had worked with her on several cases. We began to hang out together after work and finally, one day, Addie, a friend who knows I was into women and men, suggested we were a cute couple. Erica freaked out, she had never been with a woman before. So I tried to reassure her and told her we were just friends. Weirdly, it made us become closer and eventually we started dating. Once Again, I was on cloud nine, seeing myself married with ten kids, in a big house. And so 10 months later, I proposed to her...We were good together, I guess... »

« So what happened? »

« Addie, again, told me before she moved out to LA, to be careful. She told me that being in love was different than loving the idea of being in love. I told her Erica didn't want kids and that I was okay to give up the idea for her. She just told me that she knew that it was my dream to have kids, at some point in my life... And so, I pondered that for a few days and she was right. Having a kid is something I want above everything else... » Callie sadly confessed. « And so, I broke up with her two weeks before the wedding. She left the hospital and flew to the other side of the country. »

Arizona remain a little stunned by the confession. Callie seemed to be kind, caring and she was amazingly beautiful and smart. So how can her private life be such a failure?

« So I know two big things about you... You fall in love easily and you have a thing for surgeons... » Arizona teased.

« Big deal... » Callie mumbled, blushing in shame.

« And you are bisexual... »

Callie raised her heads at the tone in Arizona's voice. She didn't like that tone. She had been insulted, disowned, denied even by her mother talking about that tone.

« Is that a problem for you? Because it's who I am and I' don't have... » She snapped.

« Hey! Hold on! Hold on! » Arizona yelled, laughing. « It's not a problem at all... »

« So why are you saying that in that tone... » Callie snapped again.

« Because maybe if we had met under other circumstances, in a bar, after a rough day, I would have met you in the dirty bathroom and asked you why you were crying, alone, in front of that mirror... »

« What? » Callie knitted her brows in confusion. What was Arizona talking about? Was she fooling her again?

« Nothing, I was just kidding... » Arizona quickly replied, wishing she hadn't said that out loud.

« Oh... so you're stepping back? » Callie tried to tease her. « Too easy Dr. Robbins! So I'm going to use my second question... What is that 'dirty bathroom' story? Were you openly hitting on me? »

« It's two questions Dr. Torres... »

« Answer it! You got me yesterday, now it's my turn... » Callie insisted. She was in a strong position and she would do everything she could to keep it.

« Ok, but it's the last time! » Arizona reproached her. « It was the way I met one of my exes, crying in a bar bathroom after a day's work. And for the second question: maybe I was... »

Callie eyes opened wide. She wasn't sure if Arizona was playing with her again but what she wasn't expecting was that she answered the second question. Taken a little aback, she blushed in confusion. Was Arizona really trying to seduce her? And was she attracted to women? Nothing really told it to Callie but she suddenly realized that she was attracted to the blonde, romantically, and she wasn't really happy to discover that.

« I... Uh... Really? » she mumbled.

« Yeah I really met my ex in a dirty bar bathroom... Not really Romantic uh... » Arizona replied with a sparkly smile as Callie's phone buzzed. « Saved by the buzz... »

« Sorry... » Callie mumbled as she took her phone to check it. « Oh, it's just a text from my sister... I thought it was work... »

« You still talk to your sister ever since? » Arizona asked surprised.

« It was a lifetime ago. It was hard in the beginning, I won't lie. But after a moment, I decided to let it go. They were happy, I wasn't resentful anymore. And when they were expecting their first kid, I wanted to be a part of their life you know? » Callie explained. Family was an important thing in her life.

« Actually I don't. I'm kind of a rancorous person. » Arizona stated quietly, her eyes turning darker.

« Oh... I can be mad at people. I can yell, scream, give the silence treatment, but not on the long term. Plus, she's my only sister and I don't have other siblings. Do you have sibling? » Callie asked not thinking about the strict rules about question Arizona had established. It was just asking in the conversation.

« Nope. And by the way this is a question you can't ask me tomorrow! » Arizona replied as she scooted closer to Callie.

« That's not fair! » She said, noticing the blonde's rapprochement. « What are you doing? »

Callie's eyes opened bigger as Arizona reached her hands close to her mouth.

« You have tomato sauce just here. » She said, wiping it with her thumb and taking her hand away while fixing at Callie's surprised eyes.

The brunette gasped at the contact. It was unexpected but it felt good.

« It's getting late, I should go. I have a huge day tomorrow. » Callie mumbled as she was still staring at Arizona who was smiling that dimpled smile at her.

« Yeah, you should go Dr. Torres. » Arizona whispered, licking the thumb which had wiped Callie's lips.

Callie gulped and shook her head. She took her purse and stood up. She had to get out of here right now. She had to.

« I will see you in the lab tomorrow? »

« I won't miss it! »

…...

 _« You must be kidding! » Arizona yelled. « I haven't taken this job to teach some dumb ass like that poor girl! »_

 _« Listen, I'm sorry! I didn't know who she was! She asked to work for you, saying you were the reason she wants to be a doctor... »_

 _« Teddy, I don't have time for at. Send her to another service! »Arizona yelled again._

 _« I can't! »_

 _The discussion was interrupted by two young interns entering the room._

 _« Oh, we're sorry... » The young man said. « We were just looking for Dr. Altman. »_

 _« It's alright. By the way, I was telling Dr. Robbins here that you were assigned to her department and she couldn't wait to welcome you. » Teddy, giving Arizona no choice._

 _« Right! » she said angrily, grabbing the charts from her friend's hand._

 _« So let's introduce yourself! » Teddy said with enthusiasm._

 _« I'm Michael Jameson, and I'm honored to work with you Dr. Robbins. »_

 _« I'm... I'm April Kep... »_

 _« Yeah, I know who you are. I don't need to hear you right now. I just need you to go grab Jason Carmichael's labs, I need them immediately. » Arizona said coldly. « So what are you waiting for... just go! »_

 _She gave Teddy a death glare and stormed out of the room._

 _« I'm sorry April... She is just a little tired these day... »_

 _« I know... I can take it... »_

 _« So why don't you guys go to the lab and ask for the result she needs? » Teddy tried to motivate her interns. « Dr. Robbins will be a good teacher, I promises. »_

 _She smiled at them and walked away._

 _« What was that? » Michael asked his binomial._

 _« What? »_

 _« With Robbins! DO you know her? »_

 _« I'd rather not talk about that. » April replied._

 _« You have to explain it to me, because if she's pissed at you for a reason or another, I don't want to be included in the drama! » Michael said. « Are you fucking her or something? »_

 _« Mike! Please! »_

 _« I don't know! You're supposed to be my friend and here you are, hiding something from me... »_

 _« I... I'm not hiding anything! »_

 _« Okay, then I'm going to ask Dr. Robbins to not judge my work regarding yours because... »_

 _« She's my sister! » April yelled. « My half-sister, and she hates me that's it... »_


	5. Brotherhood

**AN:/ Hey guys!**

 **I am back... At Least!**

 **And so is chapter 5! I've been throught a hard time professionnaly, but it's going back to normal and so my mind and my mood are back enjoying writting...**  
 **Things are evoluating a little between Callie and Arizona and new informations are coming to the surface regarding Arizona's past.**

 **Budda help me one more time with my terrific english.**

 **So if you like the story, take 10 seconds to leave a review. I love them!**

 **Thanks for your support!**

 _Flash back are in italic._

...

Waking with a start.  
It happens to everybody once in while. But, for Arizona Robbins it had been a constant thing for years now, almost a habit.  
And as strange as it could be, it disappeared when she found herself homeless. And one thing was sure, she never felt totaly asleep in the streets, always on edge.

And the last time exhaustion took over her, she has been assaulted by a bunch of junkies and was sent to the hospital where she met the sexy Dr Torres.

But she hadn't been dreaming about her even if she would have liked to.

What had made her jump in her sleep was an old dream she used to have, back in the time. But this time it had been mixed with some old memories of the crash.

He was here, with her, in that plane, smiling at her from a far.

Oh god, he was beautiful.

She missed him more than she thought she would again.

It was supposed to be an old memory, buried in some dark area of her twisted brain. He wasn't supposed to be back in her dreams, not like that, not now. She didn't need that.

As she realised she had been dreaming and that she was in the hotel room, she tried to get her breathing quieter, putting her hand on her chest and noticed she was sweating.

Whatever had brought him back in her dream, she needed to throw it away. She wouldn't handle it... not now.

She sat on the edge of her bed and clenched her fists, sniffing exaggerated. She wouldn't cry, not for him, not anymore.

It had been more than six year and she didn't want to remember that. He was dead, there was nothing more to say. He was the only family she needed, he was her rock, but he had let her down like everybody else in her life and she was still pissed at him.

He was the only one who had decided to go to Afghanistan in the middle of a war and to leave her alone. He volunteered, feeling the need to be useful for something.

 _« You save kids everyday, I'm here, doing nothing. I want to be useful... »_

His words were still engraved in her mind.

She grabbed the dog tag on the nightstand and squeezed it with her thumb...

 **Robbins**

 **Timothy D.**

 **687 – 12 – 0438**  
 **positiv rh**

« Moron ! » She whispered, throwing it at the opposite of the room, crashing her head in the pillow, trying not to cry.

He didn't deserve her to cry for him.

...

 _« I don't want to have anything to do with her. Or with that kid ! » Arizona yelled, her cheeks blushing in red._

 _« Come on Zo' ! I understand you don't want to see her, but that girl, she had nothing to do with her leaving us 20 years ago ! » Tim said, grabbing his fleeing sister by the shoulder. « She won't even be there, I promise. But I want to get to know our little sister... »_

 _« She's not your sister Tim, she's just the perfect child that spawning woman of yours had with another man. » Arizona said bitterly. « She surely is a bitch, just like her... »_

 _Tim stood up and began to walk out of the apartment. He couldn't stand it anymore. She wasn't the only one who had been abandoned but Arizona was so stubborn and angry at everything. He had a chance to know his other sister and he didn't want to miss it._

 _He opened the door but finally turned back to Arizona with a disappointed look._

 _« You know, reacting like that, you're no better than her. » he said._

 _« Don't you dare compare me to that cunt ! » Arizona snapped. « She left us ! She never wanted us, we were just a mistake. She should have got an abortion ! »_

 _« You can't say that ! Alright, she screwed up, but she was only 18 when I was born. I know it's not an excuse, but she wasn't ready to be a mother at the time... And I am not interested in knowing her at all. But I will go and meet April, with or without you... »_

 _« Dad would be ashamed of you if he was still here. » Arizona replied, getting up too and walking to her room._

 _« You're over reacting Zo' ! »_

 _« She left us Tim, when I was two months old and you were what ? A year and a half ?. She run away with the first dumb ass she met ! When Dad passed away, she told social service she didn't want to take us back and look what happen next ! You want me to remind what you what happen in that foster family? I will never ever forgive that woman. She has the life she wanted, far from us with her perfect little redhead girl and her perfect husband. We're not a part of that pictures, and we will never be. And I don't want to be around her, ever ! »_

 _..._

As she was starting her day quietly, Callie was between excitement and awkwardness.

The trial was really beginning in front of her eyes. Years of work were about to become a reality and she was having a little crush on her tester.

Thinking twice that wasn't a good thing, but regarding the papers, Arizona was not considered as her patient, so, after all, she can fantasize a little, just a little...

She was troubled by the gesture Arizona had made toward her the night before. It was just a thumb brushing the corner of her lips... a thumb Arizona licked in front of her, squeezing it sensually on her pink lips. A simple gesture that was upsetting her and just thinking about it made her blushed like a teenage girl. As she now knew how Arizona loved to play with people she didn't know what to think about it.

So she decided it was just a way for the blonde to destabilize her and to mess with her one more time. But, what if it was something more intimate, some kind of attempted approach ...

She as totaly lost in her thoughts, fidgeting a plastic spoon in her coffee which was becoming almost cold when she was outed from her daydream.

« Whatever you're thinking about, I don't want to know what it is ! » Christina Yang told her as she met Callie at the coffee cart, giving her a shove.

« What ? » she asked, barely noticing she wasn't alone anymore.

« She's getting laid ! » Mark Sloan said, joining them, as he gave the waitress money to pay for his expresso. « I know her, she's getting laid for sure. She's making that face...Or she's about to be... »

« What you guys are talking about ! » Callie replied annoyed by her friends remarks. Was it that obvious she had just be thinking about doing naughty things?

« Hey ! » Meredith greeted them as she ordered a coffee too. « What were you talking about ? »

« Torres is getting laid. » Christina replied.

« Oh my god ! That's great ! » Meredith hugged Callie. « Its about time ! Who is it ? Do we know him or her ? »

« It's not your fellow ? » Mark commented with a smirk. « Because she's hot ! »

« It's better not be my husband ! » Christina half joked. « I know your trial is beginning today. He can't stop talking about that... »

« What's your problem ? » Callie gave them a death glare before walking to her lab. « I'm not getting laid, I'm focusing on the medicine. The only thing that matters is the trial and shut up ! All of you ! »

That hospital was a real little society of its own. It was sometimes a good thing but it could became really intrusive when the gossip mill was working too fast.  
So Callie knew she'd rather be discrete about the feelings she knew were appearing for Arizona.

...

Callie arrived in front of the lab door and saw Arizona through the window. She stopped and took time to observe her.  
She was standing in front of the computer, looking at the prosthetic blueprints. She seemed really focused on it and Callie couldn't help but smile. Arizona was taking her breath away, wearing a simple white tank top and shorts.

« So, ready to go ? » Amelia Sheperd asked, making her jump in surprise.

« Oh ! Yes, let's go in ! » She replied, regaining her senses.

It was not the moment to be unfocused, but with the gorgeous blonde woman who was all over her mind it wasn't that easy.  
She followed the neuro surgeon inside the lab, a little disapointed to leave her staring spot, but they needed to work, and this morning, it was about explaining the brain captor implantation to Arizona who didn't notice the two women entering the lab.

She was still focused on the screen and Callie noticed she was sweating and it worried her immediately.

« Hey ! » She greeted Arizona making her turning her face from the computer.

« Hey Dr Torres ! Dr Sheperd ! » Arizona gave them a big smile.

« Are you okay ? » She asked noticing she seemed tired.

« I am actually. I woke up early and I came here to train a little. One of the nurses alowed me to go in the re-education room, and I spent 45 minutes training, but don't worry, I didn't used the prosthetic you gave to me, I took it off. I wanted to be in the best condition for the first day ! » Arizona explained. « I know I screwed up yesterday, and I have even apologized to Miranda earlier. »

« That's great ! » Callie said, relieved to see her tester in a good mood and ready to work with her team. It meant a lot, and she secretely hope the intimate time they shared the night before may have helped Arizona readjust her behavior.

« So today, you are going to be with me ! » Amelia said excitedly. « We're going to talk about the surgery you'll have tomorrow, and you can ask all the questions you need. So what about we go to the cafeteria and I offer you a huge breakfast ? »

« Yay ! » Arizona replied with enthusiasm. The childish excitement in her voice made Callie feel butterflies all over her stomach. « Can I take a shower before ? »

« Of course, come with me. » Amelia replied, walking to the door under Callie's disappointed look. « You can take it in the lounge. It would be easier, it's adapted to your disability. »

« Perfect. I'll see you around Dr Torres ! » Arizona said, passing in front of Callie with a playful lingering smile.

Everybody was smiling, everybody seemed excited but Callie was not on the same page. She wanted to spend more time with Arizona and try to know more about her.  
It was not professional, she knew it, but she couldn't help it.

« Oh Arizona ? » Callie suddenly remembered something. « Do you need clothes ? Because I think you lost yours in the fire, don't you... »

« Yeah... I have. » Arizona replied, a little ashamed. « I only have a few things left. But I can take care of it, don't worry. But thanks, that's kind of you. »

« I insist. We can go shopping during our lunch break ? If you're up for it of course. » Callie proposed.

« I'd love that. » The blonde replied with a perfect smile, making Callie blush.

« What's the matter Dr Torres ? » Amelia teased her colleague. « You can't get enough of our tester ? »

« What ? » Callie replied lost in her thought.

« Nothing... » Amelia replied teasingly, opening the door lab and following Arizona who was waiting for her inside.

Callie sighed, annoyed to be so predictable as everybody around her seemed to notice her attraction towards Arizona. It was going to be a long day.

...

The two former Hopkins resident arrived at the cafeteria and were waiting for their coffee.  
A triple expresso for Amelia and a double latte for Arizona which she was sugaring a lot.

« Wow... Isn't that enough ? » Amelia asked while the blonde keep sugaring it.

« Nope. I love it sweet and smooth. » she replied, smiling at her before putting the sugar back on the table.

« Let me take your tray. » Amelia said, taking hers and Arizona's as they walked to a table and settled.

« So, tell me everything about you. » Amelia began, knowing how Arizona was because Callie and Miranda had talked about what happened the day before with her. « What is your specialty ? »

« Peds. » Arizona simply replied, taking a bite of her plate. « This is really good ! »

« Well, it's just cafeteria food... But if you like it, great ! » the neuro surgeon replied, amused by Arizona's appetite. « So tell me about peds ! »

« There's nothing to say. It's cool, that's it... » Arizona replied without a look for her host, her mouth full. This part of her life was over and she wasn't really talkative about it.

« And why aren't you working right now ? Peds surgeon always find a job anywhere they want right ? »

« I lost the desire you know ? The shiver... I was working like a robot and I wasn't excited anymore. And other stuff but I don't want to talk about that. » Arizona said, sitting straighter on her chair and looked directly in Amelia's eyes with intensity, making the brunette smirk.

« Wow, you're trying to impress me here ? » She teased the blonde. « I don't care about your story, I was just being curious. »

Arizona's tension went down immediately and she laughed. Amelia was a frank woman and she loved that kind of temper. She could really became friends with her.

« That's good you don't care because I hate talking about me. » She confessed, taking the last sip of her latte. « And I am waiting to know more about your creepy captors... I really hope you're a good surgeon. I don't let anybody touch my brilliant brain you know. You should be grateful for that. »

« I am grateful ! I paid for your breakfast ! » Amelia smiled. « And you bet I'm the best. Why do you think Torres got me in her team. »

« Torres is one of the best... » Arizona said, almost dreamingly, a silly smile on her face. Callie was little by little making her smile each time she heard her name or she thought about, which wasn't unusual those days.

« Sure she is. » Amelia smirked. « But are we talking about her professional skill or anything else ? »

« I 'd say both. » Arizona replied playfully. She definitely like that Amelia. They were totaly sharing the same spirit.

« Good for you ! » the neuro surgeon replied as she yawned. « So let's get back to our frankeinstein style surgery ! »

She grabbed her tablet and open a CT she had from Arizona's last result.  
« You see those pink areas ? That's where we're going to implant the captor. It's a really common surgery for me, I will make it fast and efficiently, don't worry ! »

« That's a good thing to know. » Arizona replied, raising her eyebrow and nodding.

« So, the creepy part is that we have to make a craniotomy for the surgery to work perfectly. »

« So you're going to shave my wonderful golden curled locks ? » Arizona asked, a little worried but not letting it noticeable.

« No, we'll shave only this area. » She explained, circling the zone were the craniotomy would be done on the tablet. « So with your hair detached, it will barely be visible. »  
Arizona brushed her head in anticipation trying to visualize what it could be like.

« Then, we'll insert the three captors. » Amelia continued, taking a captor from her pocket and giving it to Arizona who even if she was worried inside, seemed fascinated.

« Wow, that's so tiny ! » She said, looking at it cautiously.

« It is ! » Amelia said proudly. We've been working on it for years ! Thinking about everything, every detail to make you able to feel. And here they are about to be yours ! »

« Yay ! » Arizona smiled in excitement.

« And when I'll implant them, you'll be awake, so we can test everything immediately. »

« That's amazing... » Arizona said, fascinated by the whole process.

« What's amazing is that you'll be able to feel everything. We are making the most advanced technological leg, combining the feeling and the movement ! » Amelia said excited and proud to be a part of the project.

« Wow, I feel like I am entering something very … big... » Arizona said, suddenly realizing the impact the trial could have on her life.

« You are ! And you are the center of it ! »

...

Lunch break arrived sooner than expected and Arizona was sitting quietly in the lobby waiting for Callie, who had insisted she go shopping with her.  
She didn't really know why the brunette was so into it but she was happy to spend some time out with her.

The dinner the night before had been a pleasant moment and Arizona loved to tease her doctor.  
So when Callie arrived, she smiled at her.

Callie was first a little hesitant but finally smiled back, a little awkwardly but relieved to find Arizona still in a good mood.

« Are you ready ? » She asked.

« I am ! » Arizona replied excited. « And see this? I took the cane ! »

Callie nodded in appreciation and the two of them walked to the parking lot in a comfortable silence.

Entering the car, Callie didn't really know what to say. She wanted to ask about Arizona's conversation with Amelia, but she was still walking on eggshells and didn't want to begin the drive in a loud atmosphere.

« Your prosthetic will be ready tomorrow. » She explained, talking about the bacic one Arizona would use daily as she started the car an began to drive.

« Oh, thank you. » the blonde replied.

« So you'll be more comfortable and you can be totally independent. But I don't think you should walk too much after the captors implantation. It's not an anodyne procedure after all. » Callie continued, smiling as she drive to the nearest mall. « You should rest at least 3 or 4 days. »

« Okay... »

Noticing the quiet behavior of Arizona, Callie worried immediately. She wasn't used to see her so calm and she thought that maybe talking with Amelia had scared her.  
« Is there anything wrong ? » She asked carefully.

« No... It's just... » Arizona mumbled before shutting.

« Arizona, what's wrong ? »

« It's just talking with Dr Sheperd made me realize the incredible importance of the trial... » Arizona stated sincerely, making Callie raised her brows.

« Oh... So when I talk to you about it, you were just like 'okay, that's cool'. And now Sheperd talk to you, you're impressed ? » She said, almost vexed.

« I am impressed... By the work you've done, by the relentlessness you put in that project. It's incredible... You are amazing Dr Torres... » Arizona told her nodding in admiration.

Callie blushed and smiled at the same time. The sincerety of Arizona's words were going directly to her heart and she couldn't help but to feel proud.  
There was no doubt that the project was big and was going to change the lives of thousands of people. But Callie was thrilled that Arizona finally got what it was about.

« It's a big project indeed... » She said as she parked her car. « And you're in it with us .»

...

Getting out of the car, Arizona stretched her body and grabbed her cane before remarking where they were and didn't seemed to enjoy it. She scratched one more time at her neck which was immediately noticed by Callie.

« What ? » Callie asked, noticing Arizona's discomfort.

« I should have told you, I hate malls. » Arizona explained, offering a clenching teeth awkward smile at the taller woman.

« Oh... » Callie said, not really knowing what to say. « we can go somewhere else if you want. There's some nice stores downtown. »

« Is there any thrift shop around ? » Arizona asked. She didn't know that part of the town and didn't want to bother Callie more than she thought she already was.

« Arizona, if the price is a problem, don't wory we can... »

« Don't, please ! » Arizona cut her off. « I don't need your pity Dr Torres. You are already doing so much for me. I can handle this. »

« I wasn't trying to pity you... » Callie said, understanding the pride of buying herself her own clothes. « And we can go to a thrift shop. »

Arizona smiled, thinking about Callie in that kind of shop. Her outfit must cost more than all the things she owned at the moment.  
She wasn't bitter or jealous, she was just touched that Callie was willing do to whatever it takes to make her comfortable. She was caring and she found her really cute when she was trying to make things easier for her.

Feeling something through her whole body, Arizona shrugged and shook her shoulders in surprise. She wasn't used to feel that kind of reaction to a living human being.  
« That'd be great, but I don't think you know any kind of thrift shop around, do you ? » She smirked as Callie rolled her eyes.

« Maybe I don't but the internet does, so take my phone and look for an address and let's get out of here ! »

...

« That's awesome ! » Arizona said as she opened the doors of the store.

There was hundreds of second hand clothes, end of stock and more fashionable items in that huge warehouse. It was where she had been buying her clothes and other items she need for years now.

As Callie entered, she remained speechless in front of the size of that thrift shop. She had never been in that kind of store and to be honest, she wasn't feeling really comfortable.

« Come in Dr Torres ! Let's dig ! » Arizona said playfully, grabbing Callie' hand and walking through the isles.

Callie didn't say anything and followed Arizona who was still holding her hand. She was always wondering if the blonde was acting impulsively or if she had done that in full consciousness.

Was she trying to get closer to her or was she just excited to find some good deals around ?  
No one can say except her.

And that was the problem. The more time she spent with Arizona, the more attracted she was to her, despite the fact that she barely knew her.  
Callie was the queen of falling fast and falling hard. That was something she couldn't prevent and she hated it.

Even if the disaster of her story with Erica had curbed her, she was trying with everything she had not to make the same mistakes with Arizona.  
All she wanted was a healthy relationship with somebody who loved her as she would love him or her. She wanted to build something solid with a big house surrounded by kids running around.

And for what she knew, Arizona wasn't that kind of woman.  
Still dragged by her, they stopped by the jeans department and Arizona let her hand off of Callie's to look at a pair of jeans.

She had just one left and Callie had always seen her with her old ripped jeans. So seeing how happy she seemed in front of them, she thought that Arizona was a jeans person.

« Look at this one... not so bad... » Arizona said showing a washed blue baggy to Callie who wasn't sure of her choice.

« Yeah, sure... » Callie said. This was definitely not the kind of clothes she would buy.

« Oh, and this one is great too ! Arizona continued. « 4 dollars the pair of jeans, that's a good deal... Oh look ! It's 10 for three ! I have to find another one... »

Callie smiled at her. Arizona was picking some unexpected clothes, but she was smiling and that was suddenly making her feel butterflies inside.

It was a new experience for her. She had always been to luxurious shops, even after leaving her family. Money had never been an issue and stability either.

Except for her sentimental life, Callie had a really stable life, almost humdrum some times. It's not that she didn't like improvisation or the unexpected, but she was used to do the same thing the same day, to go out with friend on friday night, to go to the movie on Sunday, she was used to seeing the hairdresser every 10 days.  
Her clothes were classic but always from a fancy fashion designer. She loved beautiful things and she can afford them.

But it didn't make her a snobbish woman at all. She was looking at everything around her with astonishment, still a little upset by Arizona holding her hands when she heard the blonde calling her.

« Hey look here ! I need some t-shirts ! » Arizona said, entering the isle and looking at them. « Hey check this out ! »

She had just found a vintage « Wham » shirt with Georges Michael's face and it make them both laugh.

Grabbing a ramdom shirt, Callie turned to Arizona with it, in front of her.

« Hey this one is a must have ! »

It was a classic « I'm with stupid » top and Arizona laughed seeing it.

« Tim had exactly the same one ! » She said as her big smile faded instantly and she turned back to look through the display.

The mood swing didn't get unoticed and Callie made a mental note to try to know who Tim was that brought that big smile on the blonde's face.

« Who's Tim ? » She asked genuinely, almost sure she wouldn't answer.

« Look I think there is some cool ones down there... » Arizona said, walking further in the isle and trying to change the subject.

« You know, if you don't want to talk about it, just say so. I understand ... » Callie insisted.

Arizona looked at her with a sad smile and simply shrugged.

It had been a long time since she talked about Tim so carefree. But even if the pain was more bearable now, it was still hard to think about him in the past and not in the present time.

Callie's question were not really unwelcomed, but she was sure the subject will be back soon in the conversation.

...

That name was bothering Callie as whe was looking at the t-shirt without focusing.

Who could Tim be ... Was it a boyfriend ? A friend ?

The only thing she could deduct was he was probably someone really important in Arizona's life seeing the big smile he had brought on her face.

But the reaction following that grin was leaving Callie puzzled. How can you seem so excited talking about a person one moment and the next second seem so depressed and twisted ?

She took a few minutes to observe Arizona who was still hiding her face from her. Her body was tense and she was doing that typical twitch of scratching her neck.

That's when Callie came closer and she noticed Arizona was looking at a t-shirt intently and that she seemed upset.

« So what does this one says ? » Callie asked, taking the shirt from Arizona's hand which brought her out of her daydream in a jump.

« Oh... it's say nothing... I need a jacket let's go and find one ! » The blonde said with a big smile, putting back the t-shirt where it was but it fell on the floor.

She walked away faster than Callie thought and she remained alone in the isle, not really understanding that sudden mood swing.  
She kneeled down, wanted to tidy the shirt and noticed what was written on it.

« Be nice to me, my wife is pregnant. » She read at loud voice, gulping.

Why did this phrase seem to upset Arizona so much ? Or was it just the mention of Tim who was making her so weird.

The shopping trip was supposed to be pleasant and fun. And here she was, witnessing another side of Arizona. She was upset, there was no doubt but she wouldn't admit it.  
Why would she ? Callie wasn't even her friend. And after what Teddy Altman had told her, Arizona was not speaking easily about herself.

So if even her best friend hadn't been able to help her a few years ago, Callie wasn't sure she was the person Arizona will come to confess what was on her mind.  
She put the t-shirt on the shelf and raised her head to see Arizona already far away, looking for some jackets.

She seemed to have got back to her happy mood and she had apparently found what she was looking for.

« A hoodie ? Again ? » Callie asked as the blonde was looking at a light grey one.

« Yeah, I love them. They're warm and comfortable. That's what's useful when you're outside all day you know. The hood and the front pockets are great. » Arizona explained, trying like hell to make Callie believe she was okay and not flustered by anything at all.

« Don't you want anything else ? »

« That's what I need. I've got five t-shirt, 3 pairs of jeans and a hoodie. I'm gonna look for a pair of sneakers and then we can go... » Arizona stated, apparently satisfied of her purchase.

« Okay... » Callie said, trying to read any expression on the blonde face.

She was annoyed by the lack of communication from her.

Callie was a really talkative person. Too much sometimes. She needed to talk about her thoughts, her feelings constantly. She always spoke before thinking and it had caused her problems some times.

Arizona was the exact opposite from what she has seen and heard. She hated to talk about herself and her problems. It made her felt weak and vulnerable. And it was a feeling she couldn't afford after all the terrible events she had been through in her life.

Callie looked at Arizona walking away, and even if she had met her only a few days ago, she could feel she wasn't showing her real face right now. Her exaggerated smile, her way to comment everything was just a ploy to divert her and to avoid some questions.

And now, Callie was stuck between her desire to know more about Arizona, to help her through whatever painful memory she was reliving, and her wish to respect the blonde's privacy, knowing that her reaction can be unpredictable if she felt trapped .

« I have everything here for less than 25 dollars. » Arizona said proudly as she joined Callie at the register. « Isn't that amazing ? I'm sure one button of your jacket cost more than that ! »

« What ? » Callie asked, wreckling her forehead.

« Nothing, I was trying to make you smile because you seemed pretty lost in your own thoughts. » Arizona said, paying the cashier and telling her good bye.

« Are you saying my clothes are too expensive ? Is that a problem for you ? » Callie interjected on the defensive. Arizona had found the subject Callie wasn't at ease to talk about except a sentimental life : Money.

Yes, she was from a very wealthy family and she wasn't proud of it. She wasn't ashamed either but through the years, she had learn that people were changing around her when they were aware of her parents identity.

Carlos and Lucia Torres owned a luxury hotel chain known worldwide and they were at the head of a colossal fortune.

Callie had never lacked from anything and even if she was a real and generous person, she had no idea what it was to have financial issues.

« Nope, I was just teasing you, but I think I'm gonna stop since you're taking everything personnally.. » Arizona replied, noticing Callie's protective reaction.

« It's not that … » Callie whispered as they entered the car.

« What is it then ? » Arizona insisted.

« Are you asking your first question of the day ? » Callie suddenly asked. She didn't want to talk about that right now,and she wouldn't miss the opportunity to nearly force Arizona to used one of her questions.

« Oh yeah, maybe... but let's keep it for later ! » Arizona playfully replied. She had of course understood Callie's strategy.

The brunette sighed in annoyance and turned her gaze to the car clock, noticing it was already noon.

« Are you hungry ? Because we can have lunch right now before heading back to the hospital... » Callie asked. She really wanted to take a break before a very busy afternoon and she wanted to avoid her colleague who wanted suddenly to know everything about her non existent sex life.

« I am actually. So I accept the invitation with a great pleasure Dr Torres. » Arizona replied teasingly. « Oh... Wait... Is it a date ? »

« What ? No ? » Callie interjected even if a part of her wanted to yell YES. « It's just that I'm hungry too... And I know a little italian restaurant not so far so... »  
« Let's go Dr Torres... Even if it's not a date, I can deal with it ! »

...

 _« Arizona ! Wake up ! »_

 _« Mmmh ! Leave me alone I'm sleeping ! » The blonde replied, her face buried in her pillow which she was grabbing with both her hands._

 _« Hey, wake up ! We're going to be late ! Teddy will be here in any minute ! »_

 _Arizona suddenly opened her eyes and looked at the alarm clock._

 _« What ? It's already 8:30 ? You should have wake me up earlier Annie ! » The blonde said, getting out of bed in a rush, taking a shirt and a pants before running in the bathroom._

 _«Are you kidding ! I've been trying to get you out of here for more than 40 minutes ! » Annie replied, finally sitting on the edge of the bed, rolling her eyes._

 _« You should have tried harder ! I don't want to be late ! » Arizona said from the bathroom before getting back in her room, a toothbrush in her mouth and kneeling down next to the Annie. « I don't want to miss our first ultra sound ! »._

 _..._

The short ride between the store had been relatively silent. Callie was a little pissed after Arizona's remark about her clothes.

And Arizona, for her part, was focusing on faking a perky and relaxed mood, meanwhile she was in a darker place inside. She had tried to focus on the urban landscape she could see through the windows but Callie was of course aware that something was bothering her, and worst, she knew that it had something to do with that 'Tim'.

« It's just right here. » callie explained as she stopped the car in front of the restaurant.

« I' follow you » the blonde said with a soft grin.

Entering the restaurant, Arizona was relieved to see it was a family restaurant with a retro surrounding. She smiled looking everywhere around her and Callie relaxed immediately. She felt the tense and the awkwardness flying away and she was happy to think about a quiet and friendly lunch.

They settled at a table at the back of the restaurant, in a quiet corner. Apparently Callie used to come here as the waitress had directly proposed 'her usual' place to them.  
And it was now Arizona who was intrigued by Callie.

She knew that Callie was from an upper social class, it was one of the first thing she had noticed after her unusual and amazing beauty. So imagining her being a regular costumer of that humble restaurant was really not fitting in.

As the waitress left the table with the order, Callie decided she was going to lead the discussion and she will asked the question she wanted.

« So who is Tim. » She said without waiting. « And it's my first question, and I want to know everything about him... »

She looked at Arizona who was gasping but tried to hide it, and it make her raised her brow in victory.

« See you 're a stubborn Lady Dr Torres... » Arizona teased, not wanting Callie to be in a position of dominance.

« I think I begin to know how you are Dr Robbins... » Callie replied with assurance. « So answer the damn question ! »

As if it was natural gesture for her when it came to sensitive subject, Arizona scratched her neck one more time and looked down.

« He's my brother. He was a soldier and died in Afghanistan a few years ago. » Arizona said quickly, still scratching as Callie grabbed her wrist to stop her.  
It made Arizona raise her head and eventually meet Callie's supporting and reprobate gaze.

« I... I'm sorry. » Callie apologized. « I didn't want to bring up painful memories. But I'm not sorry for that ! »

She maintained a frim grip on Arizona's wrist as the blonde tried to get it back.

« I see you're doing it every time you're nervous or uncomfortable... You're hurting yourself Arizona. » Callie said quietly, still staring at her.

The two of them were interrupted by the waitress who was back with their lunch.

Taking the opportunity to free her arm, Arizona smiled quickly at her and immediately began again her scratching under Callie shocked eyes.

« Wait, wait, wait ! » Callie said taking her other hand who was resting on the table and squeezed it with her thumb, trying to divert Arizona's attention. « You know what, forget about that question. I don't want you to be so nervous... Please... »

And it worked. Arizona stopped, closing her eyes a few seconds and finally put her hand on the table. She met Callie's eyes another time and locked her gaze with hers, trying to destabilize her but quickly understanding she wouldn't manage to do what she wanted.

Finally, she looked at Callie's hand which was still squeezing hers and smirked.

« It's okay... I'm just... I'm not nervous, I don't like to talk about him. » She said, still looking at their hands and trying to intertwine their fingers. « And I thought it wasn't a date... I'd like to see what you do during a real date... »

Callie took her hand off and crossed her arms on her chest. She had the typical Arizona she didn't understand in front of her and she was tired to be careful with her. Everytime her heart was melting for her because of that vulnerability she saw in the blonde, the teasing and scathing Arizona was never far.

And this ambivalence was clearly messing with her head. It was driving her mad and at the same time, she wished she could help her with the distress she was in.

« I'm done playing. You want to be all dark and twisty, be my guest... But Your little game is over. No more questions, so no more sensitive subjects... » Callie said, still pissed off. « I tried to be friendly and getting to know you, but you have just tried to fool me... »

« I told you to choose the things you wanted to know. I have a shitty life, every single event in my life has always turned out to be a disaster. It's almost ridiculous when I think about it... And it's not always easy to live with all that … crap... » Arizona said, talking openly to Callie for the first time. « So yeah, sometimes I shut every thing off, but I don't mean to hurt people. It's a kind of a safety net you know... And it's not easy to stand, I get it... I've hurt people acting like that. I'm not an easy person on a daily basis. But that's who I am. But don't worry, I'm not depressed or anything. I'm over it ! »

She offered Callie a magnificient sincere dimpled smile that made the brunette blush.

« So, Tim was my brother. He was a year and a half older than me. We were very close, growing up with a father who was a Marines, we moved every 18 months. So he was my best friend, my confident. He died in an attack less than a week after his arrival... » Arizona explained, quietly, not feeling it painful or hard. « This pasta is amazing ! »

Callie, who hadn't began to eat, smiled at her, mixed between sadness, relief and confusion.

« Hey, don't make that face ! I'm not going to cry. Not today. I'm in a good mood, so let's eat your lasagna ! » Arizona said taking a piece of it from Callie's plate and eating it. « Wow, that's really good ! Taste it Dr Torres ! »

Getting back to the reality, Callie took her fork and began to eat. No words were spoken for a moment, Arizona childishly playing with her spaghetti and Callie, feeling a little uncomfortable after her anodyne question. This woman was beating the hell out of her.

...

« So it's my turn ! » Arizona said, breaking the silence. « What is your family background ? And I'm not asking to judge or anything, it's pure curiosity. »

Callie knew that question was going to be asked soon, since Arizona's reference at the thrift shop. As the blonde was open and sincere, she agreed to tell her the truth without entering in the details.

« Well, My father is a businessman and he owns dozens of fancy hotel all over the world. So i guess I grown in a upper class society where money had never been an issue. »

She put her fork on the table and sighed. It was said and she didn't care.

Arizona would surely make fun of her or tease her because of it, but she wasn't going to apologize for her father's business skills.

« You haven't answer the whole question ! I want to know everything ! About your family relationship too ! »

« There's nothing special. My parents are living in Florida most part of the year, and so is my sister. We are close. I call them every week and they come to visit me, or I'll go their place at least every trimester. My sister Aria and her family are in florida too, so each time I go there I can see my nephew too. »

« That's great. Lucky you. » Arizona said, nodding with a sincere smile.

It was said sweetly and the butterflies were back in Callie's stomach. Arizona was making her heart feel like a rollercoaster ride and she haven't felt like that for a long time.  
Thinking twice she wasn't even sure she had ever felt that way.

« What's your next question? » She asked Callie as they were waiting for their final coffee.

« Well, I can ask you the same question, about your familly background and everything... » Callie said sheepishly, searching Arizona's face to see if it was too much. « Or I can ask you about your friend ! You told me you didn't have any left, but we all have one friend anywhere even if we don't see them regularly. Someone who will always be there for you what ever happen... Me, it's Meredith... Sorry Dr Grey. What about you ? Who is it ? »

Relieved to avoid the family subject Arizona stared one more time at Callie and shrugged. She didn't remember the last time she had take the time to think about her friends, back in L.A.

« You're aware I could tell you some kind of crap... You'd have no way to know if I'm telling the truth... »

« I trust you... » Callie said. « Like you trust me... I have a neuro surgeon opening your skull tomorrow... I guess it mean you trust me... »

The statement made Arizona laugh. « I'd say Teddy. We've known each other since College and yeah... She's the one. She's my best friend. »

« Where is she ? » Callie asked immediately knowing what was going to happen next.

« I lost contact with her... that's life... And being homeless don't help to keep your friends around. » Arizona continued to share, under Callie's surprised eyes. She knew that there was something more than a simple contact lost between the two of them, but she wasn't supposed to know it.

« You'd like to get back in touch with her ? » she asked, avoiding Arizona's gaze.

« Believe me, her life must be really easier since I disappeared from her life. I suck as a friend. » Arizona laughed as the coffee were served, allowing a break in the chat.

« She must be worried about you... I mean if Meredith found herself in the street and wasn't giving me any news, I'd be worried as hell ! How long haven't you heard from her ? » Callie asked, thinking she was pushing a little to far.

« I'd say I haven't given her any news for almost two years. And I'm pretty sure she had hired a private investigator to find me ! » Arizona laughed, a little too much for it to be sincere. « I told you, I'm a shitty friend. »

Callie didn't react, pleased to see Arizona talking about her and not avoiding the question. And she was right. Teddy had been looking for her.

« Maybe you have found my name on some missing person site when you googled me, haven't you ? » Arizona asked. « That would be typical Teddy... »

« You have a second question to ask me... » Callie said, coughing. She felt Arizona was suspecting something and she didn't want to be caught.

« See who's the master of avoidance now ! » She said, smirking at Callie who blushed in shame. « And you're right, I have my second question.»

She stood up and stored her chair before sitting on the chair next to Callie, settling as close as she can to the brunette. Callie gulped again, just like the night before and the tomatoe sauce incident.

Arizona reach her face from Callie's and whispered in her ear.

« What would you say if I told you I find you really hot and I've been wanting to kiss you ? »


	6. Reversing roles

**AN:/ Hey guys!**

 **First of all, I'd like to thanks you all for the amazing positive feedback.**  
 **When I started this story, I wasn't really sure if it would be liked. I wasn't attracted to AU stories at all as a reader until recently.**  
 **But I changed my mind and read some amazing stories.**

 **So I tried it, thinking about a whole story, inspired by the real show SL from far, keeping a few things from it but trying to create my own universe.**

 **I'm not working the same way i am with my other stories and it's not the same rythm at all.**  
 **I read, and read again what I wrote, trying to improve each paragraph, improving my descriptive writting which is not my strenght. I know i'm suffering from an obvious lack of vocabulary, my english syntax sucks and is full of grammatical issues, but I try harder chapter after chapter.**  
 **And all your fav, follow and above all reviews are motivating me to keep it up.**

 **So I hope you'll like this new chapter where little clues from Arizona's past appears again, and the complicated relationship she is establishing with Callie evolve too.**

 **Have a pleasant reading, and let me know what you're thinking!**

 **Oh And Budda, you're amazing! Thank you soooooooooo much!**

 **Flashbacks are in italic !**

...

 _Sitting on a bench alone at the end of that unpersonnal church, Arizona was crying. She was letting everything go._

 _Her feet didn't touch the ground yet. She was not even 10 and her father was dead, her mother had left a long time ago, she didn't even remember her face and she hated her._  
 _He was her whole world with Tim and now he was six feet under in that wooden casket, and she was angry at everything._

 _There was no one left for them. They were on their own and the next step was the foster home they had already slept at when their father was in the hospital._

 _Wiping her tears, she walked to the exit where nobody was waiting for her. And when she found herself in front of that white door that wouldn't open, she couldn't do anything but scream._

 _A deep, loud, desperate scream that quickly turned into heartbreaking sob._

 _And suddenly the anger was too strong and that door in front of her was preventing her from breathing._

 _So she began to hit it, her fist clenched. She hit it with all her strench, on the same spot. Each stroke a little stronger than the previous one._

 _The pain wasn't stopping her she wanted to break that freaking door and run away from everything, hiding herself from the world where no one wanted to take care of her and her brother._

 _The only thing that stopped her was Tim who grabbed her hand firmly and forced her to look at him._

 _« I'm here. I'm not going anywhere ! » The young boy stated as he hugged his sister tightly. « I made a promise to Daddy. I will always be there Zo'. You're stuck with me. »_

 _When Tim was a quiet and ponder boy, Arizona was hyperactive and rebellious girl who was always on edge. She was the fire, he was the ice. Their temper were completing each other perfectly._

 _« I... I'll be a doctor and I'll find a cure for leukemia ! » She yelled, crying against her brother shirt. « I'll find it ! I told Dad ! »_

 _« I know you will. And so nobody will died because of it thanks to my sister ! » He said, stroking her blonde curls. « It may have taken our Dad, but it won't last long when you'll be the best doctor on earth ! »_

...

« Give me my son ! You're too nervous to hold him ! » Meredith Grey said, taking her son from Callie's arm. « I don't know what's wrong with you, but I thought we were here to celebrate the start of your trial... Not to be all dark and freaked out... »

It was a simple cocktail at the Grey-Sheperd house and Callie was the one everybody wanted to hear talking about the amazing prosthetic they were about to test, but she wasn't focused on it.

It had been her idea, she had almost forgotten about it because her mind was upset by that woman and now she wasn't even sure she would see her again.  
When she left her at the hotel after their awkward lunch, Arizona's behavior had been distant and their last words looked more like a farewell than a good bye.

She was totaly panicked and her throat was feeling so dry.

« I need a drink... Do you have something for me ? Something strong... »

« What's going on ? » Meredith worried, rocking her baby in her arms. « This cocktail party was your idea... If you're not able to handle it, you should have told me ! You can cancel it, it's not too late... I'm going to text everybody... »

Not even listening to her friend, Callie walked to the cabinet where the alcohol was and grabbed a bottle of tequila, drinking without taking a glass as Amelia joined them.

« Hey, I know it's not the time yet but I want... Wow... What's that ? » She asked Meredith looking unbelieving at Callie.

« You tell me... She arrived here an hour ago, totaly pissed and talking in spanish... She doesn't want to talk to me. She just mumbled something about an italian restaurant... » Meredith explained Amelia.

« I got it... You go and take care of the caterer, is waiting for someone to tell him where to settle. Okay ? »

Meredith noded and walked away from the two brunette.

She was Callie's friend, but sometimes she didn't understand her. The brunette was a mess when she was panicking and was known for doing stupid things she always regretted later. That's why Meredith was surprised when she asked her to organize that event. Callie was impressive when it came to her esearch or her work. She was one of the best. But when it came to public speeches or social functions, she was awkward and most of the times clumsy.

« Stop it ! » Amelia said, grabbing the bottle from Callie's hand. « You're the star of the night, you have to be all talkative an smiling ! So stop ! And Tell me what's wrong ! »

« I think I lost our tester... » She said in a whisper, closing her eyes.

« What ? » Amelia said, turning pale. « What happened ? »

...

 **a few hours earlier...**

« What would you say if I told you I find you really hot and I've been wanting to kiss you ? »

Callie's eyes bugled and she swallowed hard, Arizona's eyes on her making it more difficult. She was totaly lost and Arizona could have done whatever she wanted with her at that exact moment.

Feeling her hands sweating and her heart beating loudly in her chest, she inhaled sharply as the blonde approached closer to her face, their noses almost touching.

« See this Dr Torres, I've done a number on you. But you know what... You've done one on me too... »

« What are you doing ? » Callie said, shaking her head no and backing her chair.

She took a few seconds and finaly managed to gather her thoughts. « You can't do that to people Arizona. It's playing with them. And By the way, I'm your doctor, not some clueless girl you can fool... So please back off... »

The words were cold and distant. It was over for the play time now.

Callie had been thinking about keeping boundaries for a few days, but for her, Arizona had crossed a line. Even if a little part of her thought Arizona was not messing one more time.

But for her own sake, she didn't want to do that. She was still under the failure of her last relationship and she had to protect herself. It would be easier for the trial too.

« I don't know what kind of sick game you love to play, but i'm not buying it anymore... So please, stop with all your questionable insinuations. »

Callie's heart beat faster as she tried to study Arizona's face but nothing was noticeable.  
Arizona smiled at her and stood up in silence, Callie still frozen on her chair.

« I think it's time to go now... » Arizona said, giving her hand to Callie, and taking her cane with the other one.

Callie's cheeks were red and she remained speechless, like hypnotized by the blonde.

She didn't take the hand she was giving her, but stood up and grabbed her jacket before walking out of the restaurant.

She was mad and upset at the same time. But she was ready to cope. Arizona wouldn't foll her anymore.

They walked to the car in an awkward silence, but inside Callie was upside down. How can that almost stranger have that effect on her, totaly destabilizing her.

And on the other side, she was torn. She even felt guilty to have talked so strictly and to have clearly settled a status difference between her and Arizona. But it was the only reaction she had managed to take on the moment.

She was feeling weak and almost intrude because of that blonde woman and she didn't like that.

Entering the car and starting it, Arizona remained silent and so did she.

There was no palpable tension but the silence was cold and they seemed to be a billion miles from each other.

Deep inside, Arizona wasn't planning on being so enterprising. It was a whim that occured to her on the moment and she was begining to regret it.

« I'm not a good person Dr Torres. » Arizona finally said, still looking through the window. « I feel like you want to help me, and I don't know why. Don't think I'm not grateful. It's just the way I am with people. That's why everybody around me can't handle me for too long and left one day or another. Or I left because I am too toxic. But I was being honest earlier and I screwed up again. And I'm sorry. But you were right, I respect your decision. It's totaly normal. You won't have to worry about that anymore, I swear ! »

Callie sighed, blinking her eyes but trying to remained focus on the road. It was not the moment to talk about that. She was tired of Arizona's moods swings and that last interaction had been the straw that broke the camel.

Enough people had took advantage of her when she was falling for them, and it wasn't about to happen again. She was restraining a tear that was bothering her. But she wouldn't let it roll on her cheek. She wouldn't be weak in front of Arizona.

She was going to escort her to her hotel and that was it.

She wasn't needed at the hospital for the rest of the day and she didn't want to deal with her, she had a lot of things to do and taking care of a manipulative egocentric like her wasn't part of the deal.

She would stick to strictly professional relationship, toward Arizona and everything would be good.

Arizona was silently looking at her, knowing that she had gone too far but the worst thing was that she had told Callie the truth.  
She was attracted to her, she couldn't help but admire her beauty and her kindness.

One more time, she had screwed up and it was too late to get back now.

« Talk to me wilson... » Callie suddenly said.

Arizona looked surprised but quickly understood that Callie's cell phone was connected to her car system.

« Hello Dr Torres... I call you to inform you that Dr Grey will wait for you and your guest at her place as agreed. »

« Oh shit ! » Callie said, sighing in frustration...

« Oh don't tell me you forget... »

« Of course I forget... But don't worry, everything is planned. I just have to be sure that the cook showed up and could you text the guests for me please ? There's all the team plus three members of the board, a few investors and chief Webber. And you're wanted too of course... »

« I'll do it immediately ! » Joe replied. « Do,I need to call Ms Robbins ? »

Coughing in annoyance, Callie turned her head to meet blue smirking eyes. « I 'll do it... »

« Okay, so I see you at 3, we have a meeting with Jackson Avery for the last test on the processor. »

« Okay, see you ! » Callie quickly cut the conversation as they arrived at Arizona's hotel.

« I forget to tell you we have a dinner tonight to celebrate the start of the trial. It's at Dr Grey's place. She got a huge house in the woods... Could you believe it... »

Arizona quietly listen to her nodding and remaining neutral. Callie felt her mouth suddenly dry and she wet her lips discretely as blue eyes were staring at her expressionless.

« So i'll send a cab to pick you up at 7. And …. » Callie hesitated, but she had to say it. « I liked spending time out with you, but right now we are going to focus on the process. I think it's better for everybody. We're going to work in a quiet and professional atmosphere. »

She took a deep breath and gave Arizona a perfect professional smile before holding her hand.

Arizona had already undone her safety belt and her body was turned toward Callie. She looked at her with a weird expression Callie had never detected in her blue eyes before now.

And one more time she felt those fricking butterlies blowing in her chest, almost cutting her breath. Arizona remained stoic, a bland smile curling lightly the corner of her pink lips.

« Thanks for everything you've done for me. » She said almost with melancholy.

She looked at the hand the brunette was giving her to shake but didn't take it. She came closer and popped her dimples before kissing Callie's cheek softly.

Callie closed her eyes at the intimate contact. Her entire body was shaking and she wanted only one thing : grabbing Arizona's face and kiss her lips.

She was about to surrender and threw away her recent resolution, but when she opened her eyes, Arizona was walking away, entering the hotel without even looking back at her.

...

 **Back at present time**

« I think I screwed up... one more time... » Callie said, nervously walking and going in Meredith's guest room. « She was playing with me and I get pissed and I forget about that stupid cocktail... »

Amelia was trying to gather all the pieces of the incomprehensible story Callie was telling her. She didn't understand everything but she had suspected the same morning was apparently true.

Those two were attracted to each other, Arizona surely more aware about it than Callie and something had gone wrong during their lunch.  
But it was really understandable by the way Callie was explaining what occured.

« Why are you so sure she won't come ! She's surely on her way right now. » Amelia tried to reassure her.

« I shouldn't have spent time with her outside of the hospital... » Callie whined putting her hand on her face and rubbing her eyes in stress.

She was totaly panicking and as usual was shared by her professional need of Arizona for her project and personal atrraction toward the blonde.

« I don't know what happened but she was pretty excited to begin the process this morning... » Amelia explained. « And you were right, she's really annoying ! But I like that in a person. »

Callie smiled at Amelia and sat back on the bed, checking her phone. « I should get her a phone. It would be easier... If she came back... »

« I'd say you're totaly over reacting... Or maybe you have pushed her too far... » Amelia continued. « Apparently there's some sensitive subject you better avoid. I tried, she told me she didn't like to talk about it but it was cool after... »

And that was the point. Arizona's temper and mood wasn't the same regarding the person who was in front of her. Some conversation that would upset her with someone will be totaly doable with someone else.

So after the talk the two of them shared just before Arizona headed back to her hotel room, Callie didn't know what was in the blonde's head.  
She had just tried to remain professional and thought she had done everything to help Arizona feel comfortable. But apparently she had done the wrong thing and now she was persuaded she had gone away.

Teddy Altman had warned her, when things get too suffocating, Arizona bailed. But what was suffocating for her as she was never reacting the way you could think she would.  
Right now it was Callie who was feeling suffocated between her worries and that useless cocktail party where her most important investors would surely want to meet the future tester.

« Callie, the guest are arriving and they're asking for you... » Meredith informed her as she entered the room without knocking. « The food is settled, the glasses are full. There only missing you ! »

« Oh no... » She whispered, putting her hand on her chest and feeling a lump form in her throat. « I just have to go and announce that everything is over... »

...

It was 7:30 and all the guests had arrived. Naively, Callie had think that people wouldn't comen too busy with their job or private life. But apparently, she had one more time, she had misjudged the situation. The room was full.

There was mostly members of the team and surgeons from the hospital but also three of the most important investor of the project.

They were here to meet Callie one more time and to congratulate her, but the biggest curiosity was supposed to be the revelation of the beta tester who wasn't there yet.

The idea of that cocktail party wasn't really Callie's in reality, but had been highly suggesterd by Richard Webber. As he was her chief and that he had personally hired her, she had agreed immediatly.

Against all odds, Callie was playing amazingly her host rôle. She was the head of the project and everybody was asking her questions or telling her their admiration for her work. In a way, this was her night, but she wasn't enjoying it when everybody around her was having a good time.

She was talking, smiling, shaking hands and repeating the same things a dozen of times to different people.  
But she was also nervously checking the door every 5 seconds.

She had informed Jo about her doubt about Arizona's whereabouts and she had sent her to the hotel where the fellow surgeon had found nobody. Or at least, Arizona hadn't open the door.

But for Callie, it was just the confirmation her tester had fled to god only knows where.

So when she was entertaining the crowd, helped by Amelia and Miranda, Jo was in charge to wait for Arizona at the front door and to get her immediately to Callie, if she came.  
Time was passing irredeemably, and the blonde was nowhere to be seen.

« She's gone... » Callie nervously said to Amelia. « And it's my fault... Oh my god i'm so stupid... »

She was crumbling in front of Amelia, the stress too strong to handle and all the pressure and the tense she had been accumulating for days were about to be ruined months of her work.

« Hey ! Dr Torres ! » A small man said, suddenly hugging her lightly. « How are you tonight ? Excited to getting started ? »

Callie broke the embrace quickly and winced in awkwardness, looking at Amelia.

« Hey Mr Ford ! Yes we are all really excited ! » She fakely smiled.

« So where is that lucky mysterious tester of yours ! You've been looking for her for so long ! »

« She's... She's on her way... I guess... » Callie lied, supposing Arizona had left town for hours now.

« I can't wait to meet her ! » The old man replied raising his eyebrow and puting his hand on Callie's shoulder before walking away.

« Who was that ? » Amelia asked with a disgusted face. « He's creepy... »

« Shut up ! It's Walter Ford ! One of our biggest investors ! » Callie explained. « There's three of them tonight... And she's not here ! »

At The same moment, Richard Webber called for everybody's attention. Evetyhting was getting worst and worst, and his timing was just terrific.

« Please everybody ! » He said at loud voice.

« Oh no ! » Callie said, freaking out. « What is he doing ? »

« We are here tonight to support and congratulate Dr Torres and her team for the amazing project they're about to begin ! I know that you all hate long speeches ! But I'd like to propose a toast for this incredible team that is working in my hospital ! To you Dr Torres and all your amazing team ! »

The crowd raised their glass toward Callie and the brunette blushed in shame. If only they knew that everything was about to collapse, they wouldn't be so cheerful.

« Dr Torres, if you can talk to us a little about this exciting adventure ! »

Shaking her head no, Callie was pushed by Mark who was just behind her. She made a mental note to take her revenge on him later.

Feeling suddenly a little dizzy, she looked at all the person in the living room with an embarrased smile. This was it, the end of her lifetime project, a forever shame that will follow her anywhere she would go.

Or maybe she should just lie and explain Arizona wasn't feeling well and was stuck in her room with a stomach flu. She had to decide right now.  
She cleared her throat and raised her head, trying to keep eveything under control as long as she could.

« First of all, thank you all for coming. I don't have a lot to say. You all already know what this trial is about. We're trying to create the first entire sensitive and robotic leg. This prosthetic will change the life of thousand of people around the world... »

As she was speaking about generality, she was pretty sure that the fiasco was about to happen. She was just buying time right now, already thinking about the reprobative look Richard and her team will give her.

She was running out of time, repeating clumsily the same things as the door opened. It couldn't be her, it would be just too perfect to be true.

She held her breath, hoping for the best, and as the woman she was waiting for entered the room and meet her gaze she smiled in relief.

« And this crazy project wouldn't be possible without a tester. Someone that is more than a member of our team, she's the center of that trial. I'd like to introduce you Dr Arizona Robbins... »

Arizona who wasn't aware of the exact purpose of her presence or of the almost solemnity of the party, felt suddenly bad and was ready to leave when Jo grabbed her arms and lead her next to Callie who smiled a little too much at her.

She felt trapped... And Callie knew it, she had handled that day in the worst way possible and the consequesnce would surely be complicated.

Taken aback, Arizona smiled awkwardly and noded as the crowd stared at her. She hated being in the front line, it was not her thing. She wanted to disappear, running away and find a place where nobody would look at her.

That's what she had done, nearly two years ago and she didn't regret it.  
Feeling immediately the uncomfort from Arizona's body language, Callie took the parol back and raised again her glass.

« To the success of our project ! »

As everybody followed her, Arizona sighed in discomfort and immediately scratched her neck strongly, her nail torning her skin.

She was not at her place, wearing her baggy and her old ripped shirt. There was only wealthy people arond her, and Callie's friend. She didn't fit in but she couldn't run, Jo holding strongly her arm. Scratching harder and avoiding everybody's eyes on her, Arizona closed her eyes and inhaled the most air she could, hold her breath a few seconds and exhaled it.

She can do it, for Callie. She was going to do it because the ortho surgeon had helped her, so she owed her that.

...

« What am I supposed to do ? » Arizona asked, looking around her. She was doing her best to smile but she wasn't comfortable at all. The only faces she knew were Meredith Grey, Miranda and Amelia, and of course Jo who was still grabbing strongly to her arm.

« Nothing, It's almost over. It was just a cocktail party. » The young woman replied, finally letting Arizona's arm.

The blonde immediately took the chance to walk away, grabbing a glass of champagne on the nearest table but quickly caught back up by Jo.

« You have a surgery tomorrow ! No booze ! » She said, taking the glass away.

« I'm sure I wad supposed to be in my bed, resting, or better, being at the hospital, monitored... Am I wrong Fellow Wilson ?Ah ! » Arizona teased.

She was about to walked away to a quiet corner when Walter Ford saw her and aproached her.

« Hello, I'm Walter Ford, i'm really happy to meet you Dr Robbins ! » He said excitedly. « I'm glad you've been included in our project. It's going to be an incredible adventure ! But tell me about you... Dr Torres didn't tell us much about you... What's your story?"

Arizona looked from head to toe to this small man who was questionning her, out of nowhere. He didn't seem to be a surgeon and his name didn't remind her anything.

"Well, i'm a very ordinary person... I'm from Los Angeles, where I was a pediatric surgeon."

"Great... And what happened to... you know..."

She smirked and straigthened her body. She had finally found a purpose to her presence.  
She had alway love to joke about the real circumstances of her amputation.  
A plane crash was an impressive cause, but she didn't really like the morbid curiosity her missing limb seemed to suggested to people.  
The point was that the most traumatic event wasn't the amputation itself. Of course it had take her a long time to accept her new appearance, but it hadn't been the harder things to overcome

Witnessing the scene from far, Callie began to worry. She was stuck with another investor and she knew that Ford wasn't really careful. She didn't have the chance to check on Arizona's mood, too relieved to know she was still in the picture. So whatever the two of them were talking about, she was pretty sure something was going to go wrong.  
Arizona didn't seem comfortable and she didn't want her to be more upset.

« I lost it during a scuba diving session... » Arizona lied under the little man impressed eyes. « I've been attacked, by a giant white shark... it was awful... I didn't see him arrive and suddenly there was blood everywhere... I tried to get my leg back, i struggled but Then another one arrived and they began to fight together. I was scared, you can imagine. But I managed to swim to the beach. And then... »

« Would you excuse us for a minute ! » Callie suddenly interrupted them dragging Arizona away. « I have something to show you Dr Robbins..."

Knowing she had been caught, Arizona couldn't help but laughing genuinely.

« It was a real pleasure Walt ! » She waved her hand, still laughing hard.

Walter Ford who was totaly buying Arizona's face story waved his hand, still under the fascination. He was disapointed no to hear the end of it.

...

As Arizona began to giggle louder, Callie opened the door of the first room she found and pushed her in, visibly upset.

« What the hell are you doing ? » She asked the blonde who was still laughing but stop as she noticed the anger in Callie's eyes.

« I'm entertaining. They wanted a badass story, I gave it to them... »

Callie sighed in frustration and anger. She didn't want to hear more about it, it had already been too much today.

She grabbed Arizona's waist with one hand, taking her closer than ever.

Her heart was about to explode in her chest and she searched the blonde's eyes, finding surprise and amusement at the same time.

Suddenly she put her second hand behind Arizona's head, in her hair, still looking at her directly in the eyes. The gesture was firm and dominant, almost abrupt.  
It was too much to take. It was more than she could handle, and it was Arizona's fault, it was her fault.

Gripping a little stronger than she thought, she grabbed a bunch of blonde curls making Arizona winced more in surprise than in pain. The blonde didn't really have the time to figure what was happening because callie's lips were on hers.

It was not a gentle kiss, it was not even pleasant. But she instinctively put her hand on Callie's cheek to show her agreement, as Callie grabbed her waist and turned her against the door, her back hitting fiercely against the wood of it.

Callie's lips were still moving on hers and she pulled off Arizona's hands from her cheek, breaking the kiss as suddenly as it started.

She stepped back not looking at Arizona. The blonde remained stuck for a second looking curiously at that tall woman who just kissed her so hungrily.  
Callie didn't say a word and grabbed the doorknob, waiting for Arizona to move from behind the door, what she did, almost like a punished kid.

And without a word or a look for her, Callie opened the door and left the room, slamming the door and leaving a stunned Arizona.

What had just happened? None of them really knew it.

...

 _"I don't even know why we are arguing right now ! This is riduculous ! » Annie said, raising her arms in anger in the middle of the little local airport._

 _« You are dumping me, right here, on the other side of the planet and you dare telling me it's ridculous for me to be uspet ? How am I supposed to react Annie ! »_

 _« You don't get it do you ? I'm not dumping you, I'm telling you that whe should take a break from one another... » She replied, dropping on the nearest bench._

 _« I don't need time away from you ! I need to spend more time with you ! I love you ! »_

 _Arizona looked at her desperately, trying to convince herself they were not over. She was hiding the truth from herself, but she didn't know how to react otherwise._

 _« I can't do this anymore Arizona. I'm exhausted... You are avoiding talking about it, even to think about it... That's why you are doing all of those crazy projects, that travel you planned without even asking if I was okay... You are just putting a band aid on it and you think the pain is going to disappear ! But you have to morn ! I know that after Tim passed away, you thought that having a baby would erase the pain and that it would bring joy and hapiness in our life. And it could have but ... this happen. And you have to admit it. You have to feel that pain and to accept it. We lost her! »_

 _« I don't want to talk about that... » Arizona snapped._

 _« See... that's what i'm talking about. You are a mess and I can't stand it anymore. » Annie interjected as tears were forming in her devastated dark eyes._

 _« We're going to miss our plane... »_

 _And so Arizona walked to the terminal to take her plane grabbing her lugage, as Annie followed her, tears in her eyes. The woman she was in love with was gone and she couldn't do anything but to witness her slow agony in front of her._

 _She had made her decision now and she wouldn't change her mind : she will leave their appartment once they were back in LA.  
She was ready to move on after all.  
Arizona was stucked and she was keeping her to move forward.  
They were definitely over._

...

Arizona opened the door of her hotel room and entered quietly.

« You have everything you need ? » Jo asked her.

The young fellow had given her a ride after the cocktail party under Callie's prerogative. She had felt something was up between the two women but had not ask any question.  
If working with Callie Torres had taught Jo one thing, it was to avoid any inappropriate questions to her mentor.

« Yeah, i'm good Jo. Thanks for the ride ! » Arizona replied turning toward her.

« I'll be back at 7 in the morning. Be ready and of course, don't eat anything ! But you're a doctor, I don't need to tell you that, do I ? »

« I know what I have to do, don't worry. »

« Great. So I'm leaving you here. Have a good night ! »

« Bye ! »

Arizona looked at her while getting out and closing the door as she remained standing in the lobby for a moment, the ghost of Callie's lip brushing hers still.

It had been so unexpected but it had felt so good and so unpleasant at the same time that for the first time in years, all the dark stories from her past seemed far away and she was weirdly feeling lighter than usual, as if a part of the weight that was suffocating her was disappearing.

She walked slowly to the bathroom, helped by her cane.

She get undressed quickly and turned on the water before taking off the prosthetic. She winced a little in pain because the friction had caused her stump to bruise and it was not a really nice sensation.

But the physical pain wasn't what she had in mind right now.  
She was caught at her own game and she wasn't sure of what that kiss meant.

It could mean « Shut up » as much as it could mean « I want you »... And after having messed with Callie's mind for days, the brunette had totally reversed roles and it was her who was destabilized now.

Sitting in the shower, she let the warm water flowing throught her hair and her skin and a big grin appear little by little on her face.  
Callie was definitely not indifferent to her and she was loving it.

Since Annie, she had some flings but nothing serious, because she didn't want it.

Getting attached when you were Arizona Robbins meant to get hurt at some point, and she had depleted all her resistance quota for more than her lifetime already.  
So it had been only one night stands, or light frienships with benefits. It was casual and she wasn't looking for it.

She took the chance if the opportunity showed up.

But since she had her major burnout in middle of her OR and let herself sink, she hadn't event thought about the possibility of being kissed again.  
And when she met Callie, something had happened in her and everything around her was moving on, because of that ortho surgeon, entered into her life from nowhere.

The big silly smile was still on her face when she notices the water was getting a little colder and made her get back to the reality.

She was opening a little of herself to Callie and she didn't know where it would lead her, but she was ready to do it.

...

The next day, Arizona had arrived early at the hospital with Jo.

The two of them had walked to the lab where Amelia had explained her how the surgery was going to go with more details than the day before.  
Arizona only had to be examined one last time to be sure everything was alright regarding the on-coming surgery and then she'll be prepped for it.

As Amelia finished explaining the last details, Arizona looked around and Callie was nowhere to be found.

« Do you have any question ? » Amelia asked her, noticing she was less enthusiastic than the day before.  
« No, I'm good ! » She replied turning her gaze toward the neuro surgeon.

« Great ! I see you in the Or Then ! »

Amelia put a friendly hand on her shoulder and walked out the lab.  
Arizona was way too shy and quiet that everybody was sugarcoating her.

« We're going to check everything now Dr Robbins. » Jo called her.

Arizona simply nodded and followed her through the hospital hallways. During the walk, She was looking everywhere around her, feeling a little depressed.  
She knew all that noises too well. The sound of the wheel of the gurney creaking on the synthetic floor, the machine beep... She had practically grew up in an hospital and had chosen to be a doctor. But right now in that familiar environement, something was missing.

Every hospital was the same in a way. And this one was no different.

« You can have a seat here. I'll be back in a minute. » Jo told her, opening the door of the exam room.

She entered and sat on the edge of the table and looked around her. She was feeling weird, shared between apprehension and awkwardness.  
But she was also delling weirdly serene.

Was that the effect Callie Torres had on her?

...

Later that same morning, Arizona was lying on the bed, just outside the OR, prepared for the surgery. She hadn't seen or heard from Callie since the day before and she wondered why she wasn't there.

She had told her numerous time she would be there all the way through the trial, and she was missing the first important part of it.  
She was not really listening to Jo, who was explaining her a billion things she didn't care about. She trusted Amelia enough to know she was in good hands.

« And after the intervention, you'll be sedated to help you rest for a few hours. »

« Okay... » She said.

Even Jo who had been relieved to have a quiet Arizona since they arrived at the hospital began to miss the sarcastic and playful woman she had known until now and worried a little to see her so empty.  
She hoped everything was going to be allright, knowing that Callie wouldn't forgive her any mistakes.

The team was about to lead Arizona in the OR when a loud noise was heard making everybody jumped.

« Sorry i'm late ! » A voice said, opening the door a little stronger than she expected.

Turning her head, Arizona finally smiled when she saw Callie finish getting dressed in her scrubs, helped by a nurse.

« I was stuck in traffic... » Callie explained. « It was awful but I'm here now ! »

She approached the bed and noticed Arizona's sparkless eyes. She knew she might have been the cause of that worried lines she noticed on her face.

« What's wrong Wilson ? What have you done ? Why is she like that ? » Callie snapped at her fellow.

« I've done nothing but strictly what you asked me Dr Torres ! » Jo replied, giving Callie her tablet with all the data needed. "And I think you break one the doors..."

She pointed it and Callie clenched her teeth as she saw the deterioration she had caused.

« I think you have a problem with the doors in general Dr Torres. » Arizona finally said.

Callie blushed. She knew the blonde must have questions to ask her and just thinking about what happened between them the past night was still upseting her.

« I... I need a minute to explain the procedure to Dr Robbins... » Callie said, clearing her throat. « So everybody out... I said Get out ! »

The nurses and Jo looked at her with suspicious gaze and eventually left the room, wondering what was going on.

Finally alone, Callie swallowed and approached the gurney.

« I thought you wouldn't be here... » She sincerely said.

« I had nothing else on my scheduled, lucky you... » Arizona teased.

Callie smiled, she was the same Arizona she had known until now. She was the one who was annoying her, getting her mad but also the one who was made her feel amazing things.

« Are you ready ? » She asked, coming closer and hesitating a little.

« I am. But It's going to be easier since you're here now... » Arizona said, grabbing Callie's hand.

« I'll be there, all the way. » callie reaffirmed her, squeezing her thumb lightly against Arizona's palm. « And I'll be there when you will wake up. »

« I bet you will... » Arizona smirked. « you can not resist me, I get it ! »


	7. Nothing granted

**AN:/ Hey guys!**

 **I don't have a lot of things to tell you today. Except a big thank you for the positive feedback!**  
 **It's just chapter 7 with a person from Arizona's past making its appearance.**

 **Who is it? I let you discover it.**

 **The biggest thanks to one more time for the help and everything else!**

 **Please take 2 minutes to leave a review, I love to read them and it motivates me a lot!**

 **I see you soon and wish you a pleasant reading!**

 _ **Flashback are in italics**_

 _..._

Everything was blurry when Arizona opened her eyes for the first time. Her head felt heavy and the only thing she managed to focus on, when her sight cleared a little, was Callie's reassuring smile. It was bright and cheerful and it was helping her stay calm.

She swallowed but her mouth was dry. It wasn't an issue because she noticed Callie standing up from her chair, she knew she was in a good place. Because an angel was taking care of her.

Then, turning her head to the side, she saw him but she knew she was dreaming. He couldn't be there.

She felt her eyes closing and exhaustion taking over her.

The second time she opened her eyes, it was almost the same sensation except she didn't remember anything about the surgery or about the first time she woke up. It was now a panic filled feeling that shook her body, not understanding where she was, she immediately tried to stand up in a rush.

But not only was she not able to do it because of her state but she also felt a strong pressure on her shoulders to keep her down.

It caused her to stop her breathing and the lack of oxygen made her panic more.

It was a few moments later that everything came back to her mind. She tried to turn her head but everything was spinning. Her sight was fuzzy and her head was hurting. She felt like her brain was about to blow and it was really hard to stay calm.

She closed her eyes and tried with everything she had to quiet her breathing.

Hesitating before opening them back, she stretched her body which was still tense by the surprising reaction she had a few minutes before.

« Arizona? Wake up... » A voice she knew too well said.

Not seeing the person she had recognized the voice of, she looked on the right of the bed where Callie was.

But she wasn't looking at her. Her eyes were fixed on the other side of the bed. His eyes were open but lifeless. Was he really here?

« What's wrong with her? She's not reacting well! » the voice said with an angry tone.

« Cut her some slack! She just got out of a brain surgery, it's not anodyne! » Callie replied, visibly annoyed by the person she was talking to.

« Did she really sign your damn papers? I'm sure you've been taking advantage of her! »

Arizona was still looking at Callie who hadn't realized she had opened her eyes. She was not sure about what was going on in the room, but if she wasn't dreaming, something bad was about to happen.

« See, she's awake! » Callie snapped at the voice before turning all her attention to the blonde. « Hey! Welcome back... » She smiled weakly at her before raising her head and giving a death glare at the other side of the room. Getting back to Arizona, she stepped back a little and let Amelia take her place, never leaving Arizona's eyes.

« Arizona, its Dr. Shepherd. » The brunette said coming closer. « I'm just going to check if everything is okay. »

She approached and helped quickly Arizona to sit straighter in her bed and took her light out.

Still a little dizzy, Arizona blinked several times to focus her sight and gathered everything together.

She was in a hospital room, she had a severe headache but she remembered everything and it was a relief. She just had her skull open a few hours prior and it was normal if she had heard his voice. She would be totally awake in a few minutes and her hallucinations would be gone.

« Can you squeeze my hands? » Amelia asked, doing her routine post-op exam.

Arizona obeyed and responded positively. Everything was fine and Amelia smiled at her in a friendly manner, taping her shoulder.

Arizona smiled and focused on Callie who was in the corner of the room. As she didn't manage to capture her gaze because she was looking in the opposite direction, Arizona finally turned her head to the other side of the bed and a shiver browsed over her body as she gasped.

A wave of emotion overwhelmed her and she wrinkled her nose, trying to hide the tears pearling in the corner of her eyes. As Amelia continued her exam, Callie witnessed the scene, quietly leaning against the wall

Arizona was right, she hadn't been dreaming. He was here and she didn't know how to react.

« You're really here... » He said, still unbelievingly. « I should kick your ass right now, but as you're in a hospital bed surrounded by doctors, I think I can't do it... »

…...

 _« That's the whole problem with kids like you! We never know what you have done before... » The man said as he opened the door of the room._

 _« Hey you! » He continued, pointing at Tim. « This is Alex. He's 9 and he's going to share your room now! »_

 _The little brown haired guy entered the room, carrying a backpack full of his personal items. He was wearing oversized clothes and was sniffing._

 _« That's Tim, he's 13. He's here with his sister since last year. He's going to show you how things work here, aren't you Tim? »_

 _« Yes Sir... » The blond teenage boy replied._

 _« And it's a good thing you came here. Because Tim is becoming a man now and he doesn't like to spend time with me anymore, don't you Tim? »_

 _The man looked at the boy with a curious gaze as Tim clenched his fists tightly._

 _« Come here Alex, I'm going to help you clean up your stuff. » Tim said, approaching him and taking the boy by the arm._

 _« I'll be right back kiddo. » The man said before leaving the room._

 _« Is he your father? » Alex asked shyly as Tim was opening his backpack and began putting the clothes in the dresser._

 _« We're going to make a pact Alex. » Tim replied. « You will always be by my side, or by my sister's side, okay? »_

 _« Why would I do that? »_

 _« You'll know it soon enough believe me... »_

…...

 **A few hours earlier**

He was waiting for that Dr. Torres for more than three hours and he was beginning to become impatient.

Clenching his fingers nervously, he was sure it was a mistake. Or someone with a false identity. Someone must have found something about her and was impersonating her.

But after such a long time he was ready to find out if it was true or not.

He was fidgeting with one hand on the armrest of that not so comfy armchair in the waiting room when he saw a brunette woman with tan skin walking towards the nurse's station with an annoyed gaze. He knew she was surely just getting out of the OR judging by her outfit. She was a surgeon just like him and he knew immediately she was the one he was waiting for.

She quickly spoke with the nurse who had welcomed him earlier and had been really polite and patient with him.

Callie looked at him suspiciously and finally walked to him.

« Hello... » She said in a questioning tone. « I'm Dr. Torres. You wanted to see me? »

« Yes... » He simply replied, rubbing his hands nervously on his thigh before standing up and shaking Callie's hand. « I was told you might have some information about a woman named Arizona Robbins... »

Callie gulped nervously. Who was he? How could he know?

« Who told you that? » She asked protectively, thinking about Arizona first.

« Teddy Altman. » He replied. « She told me you called her because you knew where she was. »

« That's right, but I'm sorry I won't tell you anything more. » Callie interjected, really surprised Teddy Altman would have told anybody what she knew.

She nodded politely at the man in front of her and was about to leave when he grabbed her arm firmly.

« Excuse me but it's important! » He said louder than he wished he had. He was visibly upset and Callie noticed the sweat on his forehead.

« I'm sorry Sir but I don't know you. I don't have to justify myself, so if you'll excuse me, I have patients waiting for me... »

« I'll go in every single room of this hospital if I have to... » he said, becoming a little pushy. « I'm a surgeon too, so I'll check the boards, ask the nurses or anyone else... »

Callie turned her body towards him pulling her arm free from his hand. She didn't want to talk with him without knowing who he really was. Leading him to Arizona meant she would know she had contacted Teddy and she didn't want to be caught in the act.

« Who do you think you are? » Callie snapped at him. « I'm going to call the security... »

« Wait! » He said quietly. « I'm her brother and I haven't seen her in years... I thought she was dead... »

Callie's eyes bulged and she stayed speechless for a long moment.

A brother... Another one... Regarding what Arizona told her about her dead brother, she didn't think she had another sibling. And neither did Teddy. Her mentioned extended family who Arizona wasn't talking to, but this man if he was telling the truth, seemed to care about her.

« I... I'm sorry... » She just said, totally believing the man. His distress and worry was heartbreaking. « I didn't know she had a brother... I mean a living one... »

« It's a long story, but I need to know if it's her... Please, can I see her? »

…...

 **Back in present time**

« I swear to god... I was sure you were dead! » Alex approached the bed as Amelia had finished the exam and left the room. « Why did you do this!? »

He was visibly angry, but also hurt and relieved at the same time. His shaking hands were showing the pain he felt in front of Arizona who hadn't said a word to him, looking at the blanket covering her leg and wrinkling her brows.

« It's not fair and you know that! You can't do that to me! After everything we've been through. That's unfair! » he yelled.

« Hey... hang on! » Callie finally spoke up. « Ms. Robbins had a surgery a few hours ago and she needs to rest now... »

« I know that! » He snapped at her raising his hand. « I won't stay anyway... I wanted to be sure it was really you... When Teddy told me that, I couldn't believe her... »

Arizona was avoiding his gaze, looking at the ground like a punished child. The mention of Teddy's name made her raise her head immediately.

« What does Teddy have to do with you being here? » She asked suddenly.

« Oh you care for her now? Are you fucking kidding me? » He yelled. « You disappeared on us for almost two years and you dare think about her now? You are so self-centered! You don't have the right to ask about her now! »

« Sir, I'm gonna have to ask you to leave now. » Callie said out loud, walking protectively in front of Arizona's bed. « I suggest you come back later. »

« There's no need for me to be here any longer. » Alex said. « I just came here to be sure she was okay and that it was really her. Now I know. »

And without a look, he left the room, slamming the door behind him. Arizona shook her head in stress and exhaled hardly.

Callie raised her eyebrows in surprise. She knew that he was here because of her call to Teddy, because he obviously knew her but she didn't know who he was to Arizona.

« Wanna play the question game now? » Arizona asked making Callie turn towards her.

« I... I think you need to rest now Arizona... » She said as she checked the blonde's vitals. « You need to take it easy and to rest. I'll come back later... »

She stroked her fingers lightly on Arizona's resting arm and smiled at her. « We have a lot of things to talk about... So please, try to get back to sleep and I'll see you later... »

« You are the doctor here... » Arizona tried to tease, already unable to keep her eyes open.

« That's why I'm going to leave you for the moment. Have some sweet dreams... »

…...

 _« I don't get it Arizona... You haven't cried a single tear for him... » Alex said as they were walking back to her apartment. « You are keeping everything inside, one more time... Don't do that... You know what happened the last time. »_

 _The day had been long and the funeral had been painful. Saying good bye to her brother had killed her, but she didn't cry or show any sign of pain on the outside when she was falling apart inside._

 _There was not a lot of people present, but Teddy, Annie, some of his friends, and of course, Alex. They were here for her, supporting her and trying to help the best way they can. But Arizona wasn't letting them and was faking being alright, trying to keep them away. But Alex wasn't a fool and he knew what she was capable of when she was feeling that way._

 _« I don't have tears anymore Alex... He choose to go out there, nobody pointed a gun at him and forced him to go... » She finally said with a sad smile._

 _« That's not what I mean. He was like my brother and I promised him that I will take care of you if anything happened... »_

 _« Don't make promises you can't handle Alex. Everybody keeps saying that around me... My father, Tim, you... I'm not fragile, I'm not going to break... Why does everybody want to take care of me and then die or leave...? I didn't ask for anything, so please, just be my friend and be there for me when I need you. I'll be there for you whenever you need me too... »_

…...

When she opened her eyes hours later, Arizona was really more alert than she was the previous time. She immediately remembered everything from the surgery and of course Alex...

He was there, he was talking about Teddy, he was mad and he had all right to be.

She had let him down even if she had promised him to be there for him whenever he needed her. So she was ashamed and guilty at the same time.

As soon as she tried to move, Jo was by her side, checking her state and asking her the usual questions to check in.

Arizona obeyed and everything seemed perfectly normal. She was scared to face her friend. She was realizing the pain she had given him. So what would it be for Teddy?

She laid back in her back, looking at the ceiling as old memories of her, Alex and Tim resurfaced in her thoughts. They were just teenagers hanging around, trying to flee the reality of their crappy life. They had done everything together, the best, the worst. But he had never let her down. She had.

That's when she was about to crumble that Callie opened the door of the room.

« Great you're awake! Is everything okay Wilson? » She asked her fellow.

« Yes Dr. Torres, everything is perfectly fine. I double checked everything and it's... »

« Thank you, so get out now... » Callie cut her off without warning.

« Okay... » Jo replied, used to being kicked out by her mentor when she needed to talk with some patients.

The young woman grabbed her chart and nodded politely at Arizona before leaving the room.

The blonde was looking amusedly at Callie. She was stunning as usual, her hair a little more curled than she has ever noticed and a seriousness readable on her face.

« So... » Callie began, taking a deep breath and sitting on a chair, far from Arizona's bed. « Everything went good. The surgery was a success and you responded positively to the stimuli. Now you have to rest a little more, and then we begin the mold for the socket. You'll soon meet Jackson. He's our technical engineer for the robotic part. »

« Okay. » Arizona simply replied.

« And we have to talk about that man. I'm sorry he fooled me. He told me he was your brother and he made a scene... »

Arizona let escape a laugh thinking about Alex screaming at some nurses. He was the sweetest guy on earth but could be a little boorish when he was stressing.

« So I don't know who he is, so I think it will be great if I knew if you have family left if something would happen. It won't but it's just a security policy you know... » Callie interjected. She had a point there and she wasn't ready to give it up.

« In fact I don't... And As far as I remember, that surgery was the only challenging moment in the process right? So there's no need to warn anybody until now... » Arizona replied, sure of her statement and avoiding directly Callie' request.

« That's true in a way... but if something happened like I don't know... A traffic accident... Or... »

« Or a beautiful ortho surgeon who kissed me out of nowhere in a bedroom and left without a word? » Arizona teased, cutting her off one more time.

Callie rolled her eyes and felt that ambivalent effect Arizona was making her feel so often. She knew she was talking about the kiss she gave her the night before but she didn't know how to bring it in the conversation.

« About that... »

« It's okay... » Arizona cut her off. « I'm sorry, I pushed too far. But I learned from my mistake and I'll try to be a little more easygoing. I know I can be onerous and bossy. But I swear I will make efforts. Really, I will. »

« Oh...Okay... »Callie opened her eyes wilder in surprise. « So we aren't talking about it... »

She didn't really know what she was about to say to Arizona about that embarrassing kiss they shared.

A part of her wanted to install the boundaries back but keeping the almost closeness they have shared. She was used to being Arizona's friend. But deep inside, she wanted to tell her she had wanted to kiss her for days.

But one more time Arizona had taken the lead and she had no choice left.

« I think it's better that way, don't you think? » She stated, not really waiting for an answer.

After a silence, Callie simply shrugged. She was strangely oscillating between disappointment and relief. They wouldn't talk about it. Arizona had made the call so it was good.

« I'm scared, I have to insist regarding your emergency contact Arizona. I know... I know you don't want to talk about that... So what about I give you the paper to fill and you do it on your own. Nobody will see them... » Callie insisting, taking the chance to forget about the kiss.

« I should ask him if he's still here... » Arizona said, not taking care about Callie's question.

« He is actually. » Callie replied. « You want me to search him for you? »

« No, I can't ask him. I betrayed him, so if he wants to come, I'll let him, but I can't come back like that in his life. Not like that. »

Callie who was good at reading people in distress, felt Arizona needed to talk. And naturally, by pure empathy, she stood up from her chair and came to sit on the bed.

« I don't know what your link is with Alex, but he seemed to really care about you... »

« It's a really beautiful way to ask your first question Dr. Torres... » Arizona replied, still bringing her '2 questions a day'.

« I guess... So, here is my first one: who is Alex to you? Is he your brother? » Callie inquired.

« He's almost like a brother to me. » Arizona confessed without giving any details. « We were raised together since we were around 10. Well, I was 12 and he was 10. It's a long story, but we grew up together and we shared everything, happy moments and painful ones. I saw him become a man, a student... He had been my fellow, can you imagine that? » Arizona said, proud and sadness readable in her eyes. « I saw him become a doctor, a father... So he's a really close friend. Or he was. »

« You should talk to him... » Callie moved her head on the side, scrutinizing Arizona's face.

« How did he find out I was here... He talked about Teddy, but how could she know... » She asked herself in a loud voice. She had some doubts about a possible connection between Callie and Teddy when she talked about her a few days before. Callie seemed uncomfortable when she heard her pronouncing Teddy's name. She raised her eyes, meeting Callie's gaze and when the brunette avoided the contact, she knew.

« I had doubts but now I'm sure... Dr. Torres, my first question of the day is 'Did you contact a woman named Teddy Altman? ' »

« I did, well Jo did... » Callie confessed immediately, almost relieved to admit it. « I'm sorry... She found a Facebook page mentioning your name. It was a message from her looking for you, and she contacted her, without my authorization. »

Arizona sighed deeply and nervously scratched, digging her nails into the flesh of her neck as she was used to when a stressful situation was in front of her.

« Don't! » Callie said, immediately grabbing her wrist. « Don't... »

…...

 _« SO what did he say? » Teddy asked Arizona as she was getting out of the chief's office._

 _« I have a disciplinary report and I'm out for a month... » Arizona said without any kind of expression on her face._

 _« And you're okay with that? » Teddy carefully asked her best friend._

 _« I have no choice Teddy, and regarding the situation I think I can say I am Lucky... »_

 _« You want to spend the night at my place? I have wine and we can order a pizza... »Teddy offered knowing it was going to be a sensitive period for Arizona._

 _« You're sweet but I think I'm going to go to my place. » She replied._

 _« Arizona, it's not a place it's... »_

 _« I know it's a mess, but I don't know, I can't... I can't handle unboxing. There is still her stuff in those boxes and ... »_

 _Arizona started sobbing and Teddy rushed to hug her. Her friend was on edge and she couldn't stand it._

 _« Arizona... You need to do something. You need to see a shrink or to talk to someone, it's eating you alive! You can't live with that guilt for the rest of your life. It wasn't your fault. You lost so much in that crash... You almost lost yourself. But what happened wasn't your fault. » Teddy said, wrapping her arm around Arizona's shoulder._

 _« I don't feel like doing anything Teddy. All I do is automatic, it's so hard. I am not enjoying anything... And I screwed up one more time... » Arizona confessed. « I should vanish in the air. It wouldn't matter and the whole world would be a better place. »_

 _« Don't you ever say that again! » Teddy screamed, so angry her cheeks were red. « I care about you, you're my best friend! You've been there for me, every time since I know you. I love you! I need you in my life and so does Alex and April. »_

 _« You'll have an easier life if I wasn't a part of it... »_

…...

« Stop doing that! » Callie pleaded.

Seeing Arizona doing that was upset her every time. She knew it was easy to say, but she wanted to help her concretely, and at the moment, it was the only thing she can do.

« What did she say? Was she mad? » Arizona worried.

« What? » Callie said surprised. « No! Not all. She was happy and most of all relieved to have news about you. But she told me not to tell you we've been in touch. »

« She was right. Maybe I'd have left if I'd learn it another day. Like the day I made the scene in your lab... » Arizona said, half joking.

Her smile was tense and uncomfortable and Callie was sure she was trying to hide her fears with some provocative humor.

« She asked me to call her back in a few weeks. I had no idea she would have told your friend. »

« The thing is Teddy is not good at hiding things. She must have been a little distracted and Alex would have noticed it. » Arizona explained, opening up to Callie.

« So they're close too? » Callie continued, thrilled to learn more about her.

« Not that much. They're friends but not the closest ones. Well that might have changed in two years... » Arizona paused and looked at Callie who was scrutinizing every detail of her facial expression. She was so focused that it made the blonde smile.

« Are you trying to copycat me Dr. Torres? It's my trick to stare at people to avoid talking about things I don't like... » She said seriously, knowing Callie wasn't doing it.

« I wasn't staring... I was just thinking that Teddy may want to be here, to be with you... To find you back. » Callie said.

« Well yeah... Since I knew her I just brought drama in her life... most were mine but she had been through a lot, because of me partially... So as I told you, even though she's the most loyal person I've ever known, her life must be really easier without me. » Arizona said. It was really what she thought. She didn't deserve Teddy's friendship, even less after leaving her without giving her news for so long.

Not really knowing what to do, Callie was trapped. Every day was the same dilemma: Keep boundaries or get to know her better.

It was impossible. So at that moment she decided she wanted to know more. For the first time, Arizona was a little more open and seemed to want to talk. And she tried to make her talk a little more.

« But how …. » Callie shut herself. « Nothing... »

« What was that? You already want to ask your second question Dr. Torres? Okay, go on... » Arizona smirked. « You are taking advantage of me because I am under the influence of the pain medication and you're doing well! »

Callie smiles at the remark. She didn't know if the blonde was really more talkative than usual because of the sedation, but she was thrilled to have this relaxed conversation.

« I don't want to be intrusive or anything but you weren't obviously alone... I mean you had people around you who cared... So how did that happen? »

« By that you mean finding myself homeless? » Arizona asked for being sure and received a weak nod from Callie.

« But you don't have to answer... I'm sorry... I was all let's keep professional relationship and here I am asking you private question... »

« That's the goal of our game isn't it? » Arizona yawned as she closed her eyes.

« You're tired I'm going to leave you... »

« I'm not tired, I've been sleeping for hours... And I owe you an answer. And I still have my two questions. » Arizona interjected. « So I'm going to answer you... »

« You're sure you want to do this? »

« Yeah... » The blonde replied, opening her eyes back. « It's a long story, but to do it quick, I had a lot going on regarding my private life. I was on edge, and one day, someone told me a little thing, a bad joke. I don't even know if it was intentional... but it happened at the wrong time at the wrong place... And I did something that I shouldn't have. It had been the first step to my decline... »

« And? » Callie asked, waiting for the follow up.

« And that's it, I answered your question Dr. Torres... »

« You fooled me one more time... » Callie replied, getting mad.

« You didn't ask for details... Sorry but I answered your question... » Arizona proudly replied. She had created that game, no one could beat her at it.

« That's unfair! » Callie pouted. « And what about you asking me your questions... I'm sure you have a lot of twisted things to ask me... I can see you pondering what you'll ask me next before sleeping at night... »

« Well so that means you're thinking about me thinking about you when I am alone in that hotel room... I swear I was going to stop the teasing and everything but you're the one who is doing it now... Not a great call Dr. Torres... » Arizona said playfully, offering a mastered dimpled smile.

Callie smiled. Arizona was impossible but she found her so adorable.

Every time she tried to get away from her, it was like the universe was pushing them closer.

And as if it was natural, Callie put back a lock of Arizona's hair behind her ear, her thumb lingering against the blonde's cheek.

It was stronger than her. She needed a physical contact, even if it was short.

The thing that made the intimate moment end was Meredith Grey who knocked at the door before opening it without waiting for an answer.

As she took a glimpse in the room she noticed the closeness of the two women and looked with a smirk at Callie. She knew that expression in Callie's eyes and she wasn't particularly at ease to see it now.

« Sorry to interrupt... » She whispered. « But Jo told me you were here, so I came to pick you up... »

« What? » Callie asked confused.

« You texted me yesterday for a breakfast, together... »

« Oh sorry... » Callie apologized, not even remembering if she had done such a thing.

« Well it seems you're really distracted lately and forget about a lot of things... » Meredith said in a playful tone. « Hi Ms. Robbins! »

« What do you mean? » Callie asked looking weirdly at her friend.

« Nothing... Just saying... So are you coming? » Meredith insisted.

« Yeah, I will catch up with you. » Callie replied, wanting closure with Arizona.

« Ok then... Bye! »

She waved her hand towards Arizona and left the room as fast as she had entered it.

« So you've been distracted Dr. Torres... » Arizona immediately teased her.

« It's Grey, she's more distracted than me and she wants to embarrass me, that's all. » Callie said as she stood up. « But I guess I have to go... »

« You can go because I'm not going to disappear even so you think that I have that thought a lot... » Arizona referred to the day before.

« Do you want anything before I leave? » Callie asked, avoiding Arizona's remark.

« Can you tell Alex I'd like to talk with him? » She requested shyly, closing her eyes.

« Sure... »

« Thanks... » Arizona whispered sleepily.

Callie took a moment and looked at the blonde falling asleep. She was so peaceful and beautiful that the freaking butterflies were back in her stomach.

She tried to ignore them, but they were so persistent that she hesitated a second, but finally she leaned to kiss Arizona's cheek before walking away.

« Boundaries Dr. Torres... Remember... »

Callie smiled, her back turned from Arizona and finally left the room, always not knowing what she should do with those feelings she now knew were growing in her heart.

…...

Callie checked her phone. She didn't even remembered texting her best friend the day before and started to think she was totally crazy.

And looking well, she hadn't texted her. So she was wondering what Meredith might want.

To be honest, she knew what was going to happen and she was mentally preparing herself to avoid that kind of talk.

She arrived at the cafeteria where the dirty blonde was already settled in and smiled at her, fidgeting the chair next to hers.

Callie rolled her eyes and walked to join her. Meredith's annoying smile was saying it all.

« What's wrong Grey? »

« I knew you'd look at your phone to check if I was telling the truth... You're so predictable. » Meredith said in as a joke.

« I am not. And anyway that's not the point! » Callie grumbled. There was enough teasing with Arizona, she didn't want more of it.

« It's the only way I found to make you leave that room! You're in there or in your lab... We don't see you anymore! » Meredith reproached her friend. She knew that she was busy because of the trial opening but what she saw in that room was telling her that maybe it wasn't the only thing going on.

« Meredith... You're impossible! »

« Okay... I may be exaggerating a little, but it's good to see you like that. » She replied, offering Callie a big smile telling her 'I know what's happening'.

« Like what... » Callie grumbled, hoping she hadn't been noticed again.

« Smiling, excited, happy? » Meredith stated. « And I guess this is all about the trial? »

« Yeah, it's a really exciting time for the whole team. The captors implant surgery was a success, we're now going to work on the sensitive captor in the socket and hopefully, we can test the prosthetic next week! » Callie replied excited.

And it was the truth in a way. The trial took so long to start that she was impatient to present the first concrete result.

« Great! » Meredith smirked, taking a sip of her coffee. She had that little tone in her voice that she knew was pissing Callie off.

« What? » the brunette asked, almost yelling. She knew Meredith too well, she was about to reveal the purpose of her question.

« And what about my ex patient? Is she a good subject? »

Callie's jaw almost dropped even if she was sure what Meredith was talking about.

« It's not easy to work with her... She's stubborn, annoying and exhausting. She's always asking questions about inappropriate subjects and she's playing with us all the time... » She said, trying to put away her suspicions.

« And when I came in the room earlier, you two were not flirting?

« Uh? What? » Callie mumbled, blushing.

« Yeah, Amelia was right. » Meredith simply nodded, sure about her statement.

« What does Amelia have to do with that? » the brunette annoyingly asked.

« She told me you two were playing a dangerous game. »

This time, Meredith's tone was more reportative than amused.

Callie didn't reply. She was so lost herself regarding that situation that she thought talking with someone would confuse her more. And even less with Meredith Grey who knew everything about her past.

« I don't want to talk about that... » She lied.

« Callie... I know how you are... But the last time, you were really hurt. So I don't think it's a good idea... » Meredith sincerely worried, looking at her friend with empathy.

« First of all, it's none of your business Mer... And what is wrong with this hospital... Why does everybody care so much about my life? Leave me alone! » Callie harshly replied, being smarting.

« Because you're one of us. Because we love you and we saw how you were after the fiasco with Hahn... »

Meredith knew what she was talking about. She had been there after George, after Mark and Erica. Even if it was Callie who had ended the relationship that time, it had been really hard on her and it took her time to recover.

« This has nothing to do with Erica. I'm over it. »

« I know... But admit that you have a crush on that girl. »

By the way Callie was avoiding her gaze and remained mute, Meredith was sure she was right.

« She's seems nice but not the most stable person. » Meredith noted. « And I know you Callie. All you want and dream of is a family life. You want to have a big house and kids. I don't think she's that kind of woman. »

« How do you know that? You know nothing about her. » Callie snapped harsher than she thought.

« I'm sorry... » She mumbled. « But I didn't plan this, and I am so predictable that everybody around me noticed that... »

« So I was right... » Meredith sighed as if she was annoyed.

« I think... I mean I'm not falling for her or anything... but she captivates me. She is so twisted and she seems to have had a hard life. » Callie confessed for the first time in a loud voice and it was relieving.

« When I hear you talk like that it feels more like pity than attraction Callie. You should be careful. » Meredith said.

« I Am... I mean I try to keep everything professional. And I think I'm doing a pretty bad job of it. » Callie replies, covering her face with her hands.

She was actually pretty bad at falling for that almost stranger.

…...

As far as he remembered, Alex Karev had never seen her friend break down.

The few days before Arizona did the mistake that provided her a 3 weeks layoff, he would have never assumed she would do what she had done. And even if it was serious, he couldn't help but smile and understand her gesture.

What he was so mad about was the fact that he had seen her the day before she disappeared from LA without a trace.

They've spend the day together with his wife and Jake, their 18 month old son.

It had been a pleasant afternoon, filled with happiness and laughter.

Arizona was supposed to get back to work two days after but she never came back.

His first reaction had been fear that something bad happened to her, an accident or an assault. But when he got at her place with Teddy, he immediately knew she had run away.

It was not the first time he had witnessed that kind of behavior from his friend. After Tim's death, she had taken her car and hit the road for two weeks without giving anybody any news about her whereabouts. She was too deeply hurt that she didn't know what else to do.

She had eventually called him from a motel where she had been drinking too much and he had gone and brought her back home.

Another time, a few month after the crash, she had locked herself in her apartment. He had to break the door to get to her where she was the shadow of herself.

So when he found the apartment upside down he knew that she had run again.

But when weeks became months and Arizona was nowhere to be found, the worry had grown and it had been very difficult for him and Teddy to bear the situation.

After some time, the worry had become anger and then a visceral fear.

He knew that something must have gone bad during her escape and he had given up. For him, Arizona was dead. And if it was not a real death, she was dead to him. If she wasn't aware she had people who cared for her after everything they had been through together, she didn't deserve him to worry about her anymore.

It had been the event which brought distance between him and Teddy. When they were looking for Arizona together, they became closer but when he told her he was giving up on posting missing posters on walls and on the internet, she got worked up and had told him to go to hell.

Even if they were working in the same hospital, they've been avoiding each other for weeks but had finally gotten back to their former relationship even if their friend they had in common was missing.

« Come in. » Arizona said as she saw him in the door entrance, hesitating.

The young man entered the room and approached the bed. He was looking at the ground, ashamed like a grounded kid and was trying to avoid eye contact.

« Alex... » Arizona whispered. « Please, talk to me... »

« I'm sorry for yesterday. I didn't mean to yell, but I was so pissed at you. » He said, rubbing his left foot against the floor.

« I'm not asking for forgiveness here. I should be the one to apologize. »

« That's true. » He replied, raising his head and staring at his friend. « It's been two years Arizona... »

« I know that you're mad, but if I'm being totally honest, I'm not sorry. » Arizona said quietly.

« I know you're not. You're too selfish to be sorry. »

« It's not that Alex. You know me. I was sinking, I had to go before I dragged you in that rabbit hole with me. You didn't deserved that. And neither did Teddy. »

« We would have helped you! You never told us you were so down! We are your friends! Damn it! » Alex got mad.

« And persistent ones. » Arizona said, trying to evacuate the pressure.

And it worked for a moment, Alex forgot about those two years and smiled nervously.

Sighing, he grabbed a chair and sat, rubbing his fingers under his nose to hide his real reaction.

« You okay? » he asked, concerned.

« I am okay. See that? » She said pointing to the bandage on her head. « I'm going to be a kind of cyborg... Isn't that cool. »

« I know. That Torres chick told me a hundred times about your damn trial. »

« She's not a chick... »

« She is a chick. She's so into you I thought you were together for a moment. » Alex said, finally letting the bitterness away.

« You can say that... » Arizona said, already teasing her long lost friend. « She's hot... But she's a nice person, very caring. I'm not going to try anything... you know... »

« I know you and your eternal chorus about you screwing everything up Arizona. » He said. « But even if I have already told it a billion times to you, you'll find someone who will make you happy, even after what happened with Annie. »

Arizona didn't reply. Hearing that name from Alex's voice was harder than she had expected because he knew everything about what happened between the two women and he knew the level of guilt Arizona had been carrying on her shoulders for years, preventing her to move on with her life.

« How are Jake and Meg? » Arizona asked, changing the emotional subject he had brought in the conversation.

Alex didn't answer immediately, bending his head as his arms were resting on his thigh. He sighed loudly, still not answering.

« Alex? »

« We're divorced... » He replied.

Arizona's eyes bulged in surprise. Never on earth would she have thought it was possible.

« She met someone else... And she left me for him. »

« Oh my god I'm so sorry... » Arizona replied.

Meg and Alex were the perfect couple in her surroundings. They were in love since college and were married with a beautiful boy.

« Me too... But I guess it was the way it was written. »

« And what about Jake? » Arizona worried about her godson.

« We agreed about an alternating custody. He's with me one week, one week with her. » Alex explained. « He's used to it. It's been almost a year now. »

« I'm a horrible person... » Arizona whispered. « I don't get why you're here. Even if you're mad, which is totally normal... I don't understand why you came here to see me when I have let you down. »

« Well, at least you realize it now. » Alex said as he stood up.

It was hard for him, but he was torn between anger and relief. Arizona was here in front of him. He had no clue about how she really was inside, but she was alive and that was the only thing that mattered.

« I can't stay any longer, my plane leaves in three hours and I can't miss it. I have patients waiting for me. » Alex said, almost sorry but he had left town in a rush and had to get back to Los Angeles.

He approached Arizona and kissed her forehead.

« I'm happy you're okay. I'm just still so mad at you... But I'll get over it. » he said as the blonde was restraining her tears.

« I'm relieved and grateful you're alive Arizona. And Teddy is too. But we need a little time to process it. And now, we know where you are. We know you're okay and that someone is looking after you. »

He looked to the window, making Arizona turn her gaze and she saw Callie looking at them without wanting to be noticed.

« You're right, she's hot... » Alex teased, trying to make their last moment together light and funny.

« Shut up... » Arizona laughed, tapping lightly at her friend's arm.

They remained silent for a moment, not really knowing what to tell each other.

They say real friends don't need to see you all the time, they are just here when you need them. And it was the perfect definition of what they were experiencing at that moment.

They knew that it would need time to get back to the relationship they had before, but they would do anything the other need to help each other, as always.

« Does April know? » Arizona finally asked.

« No. Teddy forbade me to tell her. She's been really shocked about your vanishing. » Alex reproached.

« I know... We were just... Whatever... » Arizona whispered as Callie entered the room discretely without being noticed.

« But you should call her. She's worried like crazy and even if you don't want to see her, let her know you're okay. »

« I'll think about it. »

« Please do it. She deserve to know you're alive. She's your sis... »

« Half! » Arizona cut him off. « And I told you I'll think about it... »

Wanting to let them know she was in the room, Callie coughed a little, her fist clenched next to her mouth.

« Hum... I think you need to rest now Arizona. » Callie said.

« I have to go anyway. » Alex said, grabbing his jacket and giving an envelope to Arizona. « It's a picture of Jake. I thought you'd like it. »

Arizona took the piece of paper and smiled sadly at her friend who kissed her forehead carefully.

« Take care of yourself, and give us some news. »

He looked in his pocket and handed her a phone. « I know you don't like it, but please take it. All our numbers are in it. You can call us, whenever you want. It's not something you have to do. Do it whenever you're ready. »

He smiled at her a last time and walked out of the room.

« I'll escort you. » Callie said, following him and giving Arizona some privacy after that emotional conversation.

…...

Alex was waiting for his cab in the parking lot, hands in his pockets and a lot of confusing memories running through his mind when Callie joined him.

She didn't talk and just stood next to him.

« I'm sorry if I yelled at you. You had nothing to do with all this mess. » Alex apologized.

« I'm sorry too. But I had to be careful towards her. » Callie said.

« Well thanks to you, we know she's safe and that's a big thing. » He confessed. « And as mad as I am because of her, I'm also feeling so guilty. I gave up on her. I should have looked harder for her. »

He swallowed hard, fighting to restrain his tears, but the crack in his voice betrayed him.

Callie instinctively put a friendly hand on his shoulder. He turned his gaze and looked in her eyes, finding nothing but compassion and he smiled.

« She's right... »

« About what? » Callie asked.

« You're caring and kind... » He said as the cab arrived and he opened the door.

« Take care of her please. She's exhausting, talkative and sometimes she's a pain in the ass, but when you get over that protection shell she has built, she is worth it. »


	8. guess who's coming to dinner

**AN:/ Hey guys!**

 **So in this chapter, more revelation on Arizona's past and some from Callie's.**  
 **The two of them get to know each other out of the hospital, a little more.**

 **help me one more time being the amazing beta she is. Thanks again ^^/**

 **And you all give me the motivation to keep it on throught your reviews. It's always a big pleasure to read them, so don't hesitate to leave one.**

 **I wish you a peaceful reading!**

 _ **Flashback are in italic.**_

...

A few days had passed and Arizona was back at her hotel. After she had spent two days under observation after her brain surgery and after Amelia had checked everything one more time at Callie's request, she had been finally discharged.

She had only seen Callie once after Alex left and she had just given her some paper to fill, asking her to give them to Jo whenever it would be done.

She had also given her an adjusted prosthetic she had made for her so she was now totally independent and free to go where ever she needed or wanted.

So when she entered the room, she felt happy to have some privacy finally, but she was also a little disappointed that the famous Dr. Torres hadn't taken the time to come and see her.

This room wasn't exactly her place but she loved to think it was. She had never really had a real place she could call home since College and the little apartment she was sharing with Teddy. She missed that feeling of having her own place. A place where she could feel safe and where the world stops and which she could call home.

She was used to moving all around the country with her father being a Marine so home was rather a person for her since her childhood, not a real place.

It was her father first. Even if he was busy, he was always there when she needed him and he loved her unconditionally. It had been Tim when he passed away. He had been her rock during her teen years and when she met Annie, it changed.

Annie had been her first and only real love and when she lost her, she hadn't been able to really settle at anything.

After her, she only had Alex and Teddy, and she had left them without looking back.

When she thought about the past days she realized that seeing Alex had upset her more than she thought it would. It had brought back all the memories she had ran away from. It was not Alex's fault of course, but he was a part of that past and it was hard to dissociate him from it.

Trying to forget about all those old pictures from the past, she sat on her bed. Away from the hospital she noticed that she hadn't seen Callie for almost two days and that she missed her. But she didn't want to feel that. Missing someone already was too big of a part of her problem, and she found herself pathetic, knowing that Callie was no one for her and that she was safe in her lab or in an OR, saving someone's life.

But she didn't want to go through the feeling of missing of a person. Too many people were missing in her life and as torn as she was, she had even been able to miss her best friends when she left them on the side of the road.

Thinking about all that made her sigh and she let herself fall on the bed, trying to figure out how she ended up here.

She was not home and she missed all of them so badly all of a sudden that tears began to fill her eyes slowly in the silence of that impersonal hotel room.

…...

 _« Come on Teddy, he is an asshole. Don't pay attention... » Arizona said to her friend as they were scrubbing in._

 _She was talking about Teddy's resident, Andrew Gladstone who was a giant jerk. He had tried to seduce the cardio surgeon insistently and she had politely explained to him that she wasn't interested but the man kept hitting on her every time he got the chance. He had even began calling her on her personal phone in the middle of the night and she was now scared to see him._

 _« You should report him. It's considered as harassment! »_

 _The two surgeons were ready to operate on a 9 years old boy suffering from a rare condition of heart defect when the man they were criticizing entered the OR, ready to work._

 _As he noticed Arizona next to Teddy he raised his brows and smirked under his mask._

 _« Oh so it's not only you and me Dr. Altman? » He asked sarcastically. « Your girlfriend is cute. I'm more than okay for a threesome you know? Especially with a freak like her. I've never tried with a one legged! »_

 _It was the words he shouldn't have said and Arizona couldn't stay calm any longer._

 _She punched him in the face and the man fell on the ground._

 _« Oh my god! » Teddy yelled, her first reaction was to rush to Arizona's side but she was stopped in her run by what she witnessed._

 _« This is for Teddy! And that! » Arizona screamed, delivering a kick in the stomach of the fallen man. « That was for the one legged! »_

 _« Arizona stop it! » Teddy yelled as a nurse approached Arizona to look at her hand._

 _« Dr. Robbins! » A voice said in the interphone from the gallery. « In my office! Right now! »_

 _« Chief Tanner! I need her here... » Teddy pleaded, looking at her superior._

 _« Page Dr. Karev... He can take over the case for her! »_

…...

For her part, Callie had been really busy working with Jackson Avery on the sensitive socket. It was a brand new technology and they had to figure out the last issues they were having with it before testing it with Arizona.

All her attention and thoughts had been in the trial and for the first time she wasn't thinking about the playful blonde.

But as she found herself alone in her apartment that night, she felt it. She was missing her. As soon as she wasn't focused on her work, Arizona was everywhere in her mind.

But today was not just any day and she didn't feel like spending the night alone. Unluckily, all her friends had plans or were working.

She closed the door behind her and walked through the living room, dropping her jacket on the couch.

In the open kitchen, she served herself a glass of wine and turned on the music, some old Motown classics.

Taking the first sip, she checked her phone and smiled sadly. She had a voicemail and she knew who it was from already.

« Ola Mija! Cumpleaños feliz! I know you're busy, but your mother and I will be glad to hear from you! So, please call us back. »

It was her birthday and she didn't want to be reminded of it. Because 25 years ago, she had stopped celebrating them.

…...

 _« I'm sorry Mr. Torres, but we can't heal that type of cancer. Enrique is too weak to support the experimental treatment. » The doctor said while Carlos Torres' jaw dropped._

 _Sitting in the corner of the office and playing with her younger sister, Calliope understood everything. Her brother was doomed._

 _« There must be something you could do! I have Money. We can hire the best researcher, the best doctors! Please tell me what I have to do! » Carlos pleaded._

 _« I'm sorry. » The old practician replied, leaving the room without any more words._

…...

Arizona was about to take a shower when she heard something ring.

Surprised by the sound, it took her a minute to remember she had a phone now. She looked for it the pocket of her jeans and took the call by rote.

She didn't take the time to enter the few numbers she knew and so she supposed it was some kind of telemarketers who were trying to sell her some insurance contract.

« Hello? » she said hesitating. She wasn't really in a mood to talk.

« Hi... It's Callie Torres... » She mumbled as a pleasantly surprised smiled appeared on the blonde's mouth.

« Hey Dr. Torres... » She greeted her. « How do you have this number? »

« Your friend Alex gave it to me. » Callie replied, blushing like a teenage girl.

« Okay... »

« I wanted to know if you were okay. I didn't have time to come and check on you since the other day... » Callie spoke slowly. She knew how unpredictable Arizona's mood could be.

« So you are only doing your job here? You are so caring Dr. Torres. » Arizona teased her, sitting on her bed and enjoying the moment.

She had no real idea why Callie was calling her but she was happy to hear her voice. The shower could wait and she realized that she wanted to talk as well, even if it was one of the multiple anodyne conversation she had with Callie.

« Yeah, it's just that I want you to feel as comfortable as possible, and since I heard you were back at your hotel... I was just checking in... » Callie explained. And it was the truth, at least a part of it.

« You'd rather say rambling. » Arizona whispered, asking herself what was the real cause of her call.

« So you aren't feeling any aftermath? » Callie simply asked, avoiding the teasing.

« Yeah, I'm alright. I've been really exhausted, and still am, but it is okay now. » Arizona said, massaging her stump slowly. The prosthetic fitted her but she needed a little time to get used to it and so the residual leg was a little sore.

« That's great! » Callie said, still rambling. « So I guess … Forget about it... I was just... »

« What is it Dr. Torres? You have something to tell me? »

« I was wondering … I cooked some lasagna and there's... I've made a lot of it... » The brunette almost mumbled, asking herself what she was about to say next. But it was stronger than her.

« Good for you. » Arizona replied, now totally confused. What did Callie want?

« It's just... Would you like …. Are you up to something tonight? » Callie shut herself down, face palming herself. She had said it even if she had been struggling like hell to shut her mouth.

« I was just about to take a shower. » Arizona stated, raising her eyebrows in confusion. Apparently, Callie was trying to tell her something but she didn't get it.

Callie, from her side, was nervously fidgeting on the counter top. Thinking about a naked Arizona made Callie blush and smile childishly.

« May I join you? » Callie asked immediately remarking the bad timing.

« I'd love that, but you have to know that I don't like hot water, and you seem to be a hot water kinda girl... » Arizona laughed. She knew now what Callie was asking her and the opportunity to tease her on the clumsy way she had asked was too easy to resist.

« For dinner! I mean for dinner! » Callie interjected, totally losing her calm. It was a bad idea and she knew it from the beginning. What was wrong with her?

« Yeah, a dinner date is great. I think that shower dates are over rated anyway. » Arizona kept the teasing up.

« I mean for dinner! » Callie insisted, beginning to regret she even asked.

« I get it. » Arizona laughed. « And I'd be happy to invite you in my hotel room for a lasagna dinner! »

« Great... So I'll be there in an hour? » Callie asked, relieved Arizona didn't insist too much on the joke.

« Sounds perfect! »

…...

Callie was earlier than she should have been but she had been raised like that.

It was better to go early to appointments in case something happened on the road. You never know...

That's what her father used to say and she had keep that adage.

She was nervously waiting in front of Arizona's door with her bag full of food.

It had been a real whim and she didn't realize she had the guts to do it.

She was used to walking tall and to be the person who took the first step when it came to seduction.

But After George, her ego had been rudely damaged. Time had helped her heal, and even if her second wedding had failed, she had keep her confidence because things had been natural with Mark. No cries, no bitterness. Just the end of a wedding built on two lonely hearts.

With Erica, it had been hard and ugly. After she broke up with the cardio thoracic surgeon, Callie had been in a bad place and Erica had made her pay the price. She had yelled, she had played emotional blackmail. It had been hard and Callie had lost her smile for months, doubting everything but above all herself.

But with Arizona it was different. It was not easy of course because the pretty blue eyed woman was elusive. She was so close to her physically but so far in some way.

She had a complicated life for sure. The little Callie knew about it made her understand there was a lot of difference between them.

But something about her was mesmeric and Callie was trapped. And she knew that.

Cracking her fingers in stress, she finally did it and knocked at the door.

« I'm coming! »

Hearing Arizona's voice made her feel weak and she tried to stop the shaking beginning in her knees. It was Arizona. She knew her, and they were just about to have a friendly dinner.

There was no point in being nervous. She knew her. She even kissed her.

« Hey! You're early! » Arizona said, the cutest smile on her face, wrapped in a white towel. « I'm sorry, I was getting dressed. But Come in, I won't be long! »

Callie didn't say a word and smiled goofily, following the not enough dressed blond inside.

She was wearing the prosthetic she gave her two days before and seemed to be already used to it.

« So is the prosthetic okay? » She asked, putting the bag on the table and beginning to take out the plates while Arizona was back in the bathroom.

« It's awesome! Thank you so much. It's really comfy. I have never had one like this. » Arizona said excitedly. « I just need to practice walking with it, but it should be great. »

« Good... » Callie said, looking around.

« I won't be long. »

« Take your time, I'm sorry, I know I am early... » Callie apologized.

She walked around in the room and took a look in the wide open closet. All of Arizona's purchases from the thrift store were scattered on the shelves and it made her smile. She was thinking Arizona was not a really orderly person. Then she remembered she had been homeless for nearly two years and that surely storage wasn't the priority when you found yourself in that kind of situation.

Stepping back, her foot hit something.

She kneeled in front of the bed and found the box she had seen Arizona get back from the old man the day she accompanied her to her car.

She gulped, feeling she better not take a look inside, but the box was open, And Arizona wasn't here.

She just reached the box and looked discretely. All she was able to see was a picture.

It was a group of young people. They were seven, sitting on a wall near what seemed to be the seaside. She immediately recognized Arizona. She seemed carefree and was smiling. She recognized Alex too, so much younger.

But the other people were strangers to her except the tall dirty blond guy who was next to Arizona. Those blue eyes were the same. It was surely Tim. He was looking at Arizona with a protective kind of look. It had to be him.

But Callie's eyes were stuck on the brown curly haired girl who had her arm wrapping Arizona's waist.

She had clear green eyes and Arizona was staring intensely at her when all the others were looking at the camera.

Callie pushed the box back under the bed shaking her head in frustration. Why was she bothered by this old picture?

She had no reason to be, but she was and she didn't like that. Whoever that girl was, she was apparently no more in Arizona's life.

And even if she was, it didn't concern her at all. But she couldn't help the twinge she was feeling right now.

She walked back and set the table as Arizona was finally ready and looked at her with an amused grin.

« You have thought about every detail! » She said, making Callie jump in surprise.

« Yeah... » She replied. « I figured you won't have those kind of things here. »

« And you did great. There's nothing here... But hey! There's a fridge... and a microwave... All I need to eat as much junk food as I want! » Arizona teased as Callie stared at her.

She was wearing baggy jeans, torn at each knee, letting her prosthetic be visible and a simple grey t-shirt, her hair not totally dry yet, floating on her shoulders. She was stunning.

« I was... Yes a microwave is good for … the lasagna... »

Callie took the plate and walked to the microwave, trying to prevent Arizona from noticing that she found her sexy even if she was dressed like that.

Arizona smiled. Of course she had noticed the staring and she could have made fun about it, but she didn't want.

She was happy Callie was here and she was going to enjoy the makeshift dinner.

…...

« I haven't forgotten that you owe me two questions from the other day... » Callie said as she was serving her a plate.

« You're already in the game? Great » Arizona replied playfully. « Go ahead! I'm in the mood! »

« Yeah... I have four questions so... And you have two... » Callie said, apparently already knowing what she wanted to ask.

Arizona nodded as she accepted the full plate from Callie's hand. She smelled it and smiled.

It was the first real cooked meal she had in weeks and she was more than happy to taste it.

« It smells amazing Dr. Torres... Thank you... »

« You can thank me when you taste it. I don't know if you like spicy food... » Callie said.

« I love it, don't worry... » Arizona reassured her as she contemplates Callie's recipe.

She took a bite of the lasagna and raised her brows. « That's the best meal I have tasted in years! »

« Thanks... » Callie said shyly. « You don't cook? »

« So that will be your first question. » Arizona stated, not giving her the choice. « Actually, when I was on the streets, I didn't. But I can do it. I'm not the greatest cook but I can do some pretty decent food. »

« And that was not my first question! » Callie stated. « You won't fool me one more time. I'm good at this game now too... »

« If you say so... » Arizona teased. « So, what do you want to know for your second question? »

« First! » Callie insisted before smirking. « Well I told you about my family and everything. I'd like to know about your parents, your siblings... Because I think you haven't told me everything... »

Callie said it carefully, looking for any kind of pressure on Arizona's face.

« Here we are, directly with the hard stuff! » She said, smiling tensely.

« I'm sorry... I shouldn't have... » Callie said. She wanted to know everything about Arizona but knowing the impulsivity of the blonde, she almost regretted her question.

« No, you can... You can play dirty with me. I am not shy about asking you some stuff... » Arizona replied, giving Callie a nod. « And after all, if I don't want to reply, I still have my two jokers. »

She took another bite of her lasagna and shrugged, letting an awkward silence float.

« Well, I've been raised by my father, with my brother Tim. He was in the Marines corps, so we had to move every 18 months. »

Callie notice Arizona was struggling not to scratched her neck and she thought she should have asked some lighter things. Feeling the pressure increasing she grabbed Arizona's hand in support.

« You don't have to ... »

« The woman who gave me birth left when I was 2 months old. I can't call her my mother, because she's not... She abandoned us to be with another man she built a life with. And you know what's ironic? »

…...

 _Arizona was woke up by loud knocks on the door._

 _She was hungover and it took her a moment before noticing where she was._

 _Teddy was laying on the carpet next to her and when she shook her to wake her up she received a grumbled « I'm sleeping » in answer._

 _She was at April's place and she didn't remember a lot of things about last night. They had a girls night with some colleagues and as she had been suspended the day before, she had drunk too much to let her anger go away._

 _She stood up with difficulty and walked to the kitchen where a note from April was waiting for her._

 _« I left for the hospital. My shift starts at 7. Please try to tidy up the place a little... »_

 _Arizona sighed looking around her. The apartment was a mess and her head was about to blow. But even if her psychological health was really on edge lately, she was kind of connecting strongly with her half-sister, and she was happy she had gotten over her bitterness to get to know her._

 _The knock on the door made her jump as she leaned against the wall, trying to readjust her prosthetic. It was the first time she was in April's apartment and she didn't really know a lot of things about her private life. It might be the boy she had talked about the night before. He must have wanted to surprise her in the morning._

 _« What the hell? » Arizona mumbled_

 _Fixing her hair quickly and putting on the first jacket she found; she slowly made her way to the door and opened it._

 _« I'm sorry, April is not... »_

 _Arizona remained frozen, a lump forming immediately in her throat. Her headache, her hangover were nothing compared to the emotional tsunami she was undergoing inside._

 _« What? Who are … Oh my god... » The knocker said as she remained petrified._

 _The only gesture Arizona was able to do was to shut the door. In front of her was the woman she had hated for so long. She knew she looked like her. April had told her that more than once. And she was right, they definitely shared the same facial features._

 _But the surprise mixed with the mess she already was experiencing in her life for years was too emotionally complicated to handle. She just pushed the door at the face of her so called mother as she remained petrified, her world falling apart one more time._

…...

« I've never seen her, but I look like her. But really... And it's really disturbing you know. »

Relaxing at Callie's contact, Arizona was facing one of the biggest wounds she had been carrying over the years.

« I lost my dad when I was nine. He passed away from leukemia. I saw him struggle for months in the hospital. That's a part of why I became a surgeon... He didn't have any family left, so the social services contacted her and asked her to take me and my brother back. And she refused. »

Callie was stunned by the story she was listening. Her family had always been there for her, she had always been close to her parents through happy and hard times. Even if she had some issues with her sisters and all the George fiasco, she had found the strength to forgive for the sake of keeping the family close together.

« So apparently I also suck as a daughter, not only as a friend. » Arizona said sarcastically.

« Don't say that... Please... » Callie said as both her hands where holding Arizona's now.

« I told you Dr. Torres. My life is a perpetual mess. But I'm used to it now. »

Arizona avoided Callie's gaze for a while, as they continued with their improvised dinner. She wasn't used to talking about that part of her life to anyone. But with Callie it had been almost easy, and she had only felt compassion and support in the brunette eyes.

« So it makes me think about my question! Why did you become an orthopedic surgeon? There must be a really good reason to pick that specialty. Especially for a women. You don't chose that by chance... » Arizona said, offering a playful grin to the woman in front of her. Nothing was easier to put your uncomfortable state behind than by asking a simple question.

« I love to crack bones... » Callie simply replied knowing Arizona wouldn't surrender before knowing the truth. « I choose ortho because of my brother. He wanted to be a surgeon too. We were twins and we were always rivals at school or in every activity we could do. I'm still competitive in a way... »

« A twin brother? »

« Yeah. His name was Enrique. I lost him due to bone cancer when we were 13. He was diagnosed too late and they couldn't save him. The cancer had invaded his internal organs. But I'm in peace with that. I mean, I miss him, every day, but it's not a taboo. He's a part of me forever. »

« It make sense now... » Arizona simply replied.

She wasn't the only one who had lost a brother and she understood too much the damage it could have on a person. It made her feel closer to Callie than ever.

« It was supposed to be a date and not a grieve group... » Arizona said, shrugging, but trying to ease the atmosphere.

Callie who was a little tense didn't realize immediately she was laughing until she heard Arizona's magical laugh lightening the room.

« And by the way that lasagna is amazing Dr. Torres. I can't remember the last time I ate a real home cooked meal. So thanks a lot for that. » Arizona bent her head in respect.

Smiling back at her, Callie couldn't stand it anymore. They were sharing some really heavy episodes from their past life, so she wanted to know it now.

« Why or how did you find yourself in the streets Arizona? I mean really? You are smart, you have people in your corner... I don't get it ... »

« So second question right? Well will you be amazed if I told you I don't really know? » Arizona stated. « I ran away from everything. There were too many things... »

She shook her head, closing her eyes hoping the tears will stop.

« I ran away. I left everything behind. The life I had, I wasn't enjoying it at all. It was suffocating. I wanted to throw it away, and at the same time I was trapped in it. So one morning, I woke up and there was nothing around me that was strong enough to keep me there. I grabbed a backpack with some personal items, some clothes and some cash and I hit the road, with no real purpose. I wanted to go away, to feel the wind on my face and to forget about everything. So when I ran out of money, I sold my car. I had just arrived in Seattle. Then I lived in a motel room for a while and one thing after another, I found myself homeless more than a year ago. I'd say maybe 15 months, I don't really remember... And as strange as you might think, it was not so hard. I mean, of course it was hard, but keeping in mind how down I was in my head, it wasn't that bad. I didn't have time to cry for yesterday. Every day, I had to figure what to do, how to eat, where to sleep. But I had some tricks, it wasn't the first time I was homeless. »

« What? » Callie almost yelled as she wasn't expecting that revelation.

« Never mind, it's another story... Unless you'd like to ask your third question... » Arizona laughed at Callie's embarrassment.

« No... I don't. » Callie replied, sitting straighter on her chair and removing her hands from Arizona's.

The blonde immediately missed the contact and fixed her gaze on her empty hands. It had been a simple gesture, nothing intimate, just a need from Callie to support her when she was talking about some difficult episodes of her life. It was friendly supportive and as simple as it seemed, it had helped her.

Everything from Callie sounded soothing and caring and she loved it.

« I was wondering how you were expecting your life would be when you were 20. » Callie suddenly asked. « And yeah it's my third question. And I mean your life in every way... »

« When I was 20... I was in a better place. Well now I'm in a good place, tough... » Arizona said, seemingly thoughtful. « When I was 20, I was in College, sharing a room with Teddy. That's where we met... I was happy... I mean I already had some hurdles in my life but I went through them and I was happy. »

« Yeah, I get that. But how were you imagining your life would be at your actual age? » Callie insisted, trying to avoid Arizona skirting the question.

« Well I hoped I'd be a doctor. Not especially a surgeon, but I wished I'd work in the medical field. I wanted to find a cure for leukemia... A childhood dream, but that's what brought me where I was. » Arizona referred to the loss of her father. « And on a more private side... I was single at 20. I dated a little, but nothing serious. But honestly, I was dreaming to have everything I never had: a family on my own. There was no doubt for me... I would have met the person I was meant to meet. We would have dated for two years, then we would have gotten engaged and we would have gotten married, and bought a big house, with dogs... and chickens... I have this weird thing for chickens... And we'd have kids... all kinds of kids. »

Callie saw a spark in Arizona's eyes as she mentioned kids. This melted her heart because she had just described exactly what she herself was dreaming of for years, except for the dogs and chicken.

« Why are you smiling? You're making fun of me? » Arizona asked, surprised by the Latina's reaction.

« What? No! Not At all... » Callie interjected.

« But you were smiling... » Arizona repeated. « What? I don't look like someone who dreams about a classic family life to you ? »

« It's not that Arizona... It's just... »

« What is it? Is it so unbelieving for you? » Arizona repeated one more time, a little upset. « I just wanted to have what I've never really had... The most beautiful years of my life are the first ones, when I was with my father and my brother. Everything was about love, trust, support... Even if I was suffering from my mother's absence, I was the happiest I've ever been. And I thought that I could have that happy family life I've been dying to have, raising my own kids with my loving partner. »

« I wasn't making fun of you... It's just that what you just said is my... was my dream too... » Callie explained. « And you can still have that it's not too late. »

« It is too late. I should have had it, but as usual, I screwed it up... »

…...

 _« I... I don't know... » Annie mumbled as she took her seat in the plane followed by her soon to be ex-girlfriend. « I... »_

 _« Because you think that I give a shit about what you think! You are here, telling me you want a break, and ten minutes later, you're telling me you want to move out from our apartment! It doesn't make any sense Annie! » The blonde almost yelled, throwing her bag on her seat. « How long have you been thinking about this? Because you seem pretty sure about what you're doing... »_

 _« Arizona... Please... Can you just sit and talk quietly with me? »_

 _« Why did you came here with me? Why? »_

 _« I... You were so excited, and you didn't really left me with a choice... » Annie tried to explain, sad to see the hurt in Arizona's eyes._

 _« So why did you come! » Arizona screamed, dropping herself on the seat._

 _Annie turned her gaze for a moment and swallowed. « I wanted it to be like a good memory... »_

 _« What? » Arizona mouthed, unbelieving, and finally getting Annie had been planning their break up for a while._

 _« Since we lost the baby, you've been acting like a crazy person Arizona. None of your friends had the guts to tell you that, but you were out of control. You were on edge, making crazy things, working too much, experimenting stupid activities like that Bungee jumping you've been begging me to do with you... » Annie tried to explain. « I know it had been a hard time for you, for us. But you weren't ready to listen to me. And then you got involved in all those humanitarian Missions all over the world when I needed you by my side. You left for weeks without even giving me any news! »_

 _« But I'm here now! I'm here! That's why I planned these holidays! For us! » Arizona said, tears running on her cheeks. « I wasn't able to cope... I screwed up... I needed to feel anything other than pain and sorrow... »_

 _« And you did, you just found your way to stay alive when I was here, on my own... » Annie reproached bitterly._

 _« We can figure this out okay? We can make things work. I am going to do whatever it takes to make it up to …. »_

 _« It's over... I'm sorry Arizona... »_

 _« No... No it's not... Please... Let me try Annie. »_

 _Turning her body towards Arizona, Annie put her hands on her thigh and smiled sadly, her green eyes filling with tears._

 _« I met someone, and I was supposed to tell you when we would be back in LA, but I can't take it anymore. » Annie explained as Arizona's world collapsed under her feet. « I went to a grieve group and she was there too. It just happened... »_

 _« It just happened? » Arizona repeated unbelieving. « What is it? You're trying to make me pay for my absence?_

 _« I didn't mean to hurt you Arizona... I... I love her... »_

 _Arizona gulped hard and bit her lip to prevent more tears from appearing._

 _« How long has that been going on? » Arizona harshly asked._

 _« Five months. » Annie quietly replied. « I'm sorry. I wished things didn't go this way, but it is what it is... »_

 _« Five months... Just one month after we lost the baby... I just went back to work then and ... » Arizona stood up and grabbed her backpack. « You know what? Never mind... I wish you a happy new life with a sane and balanced woman. And I hope you can get your crap out of my apartment before I get back there. Please go back to LA by the first plane today. I don't want to see your face anymore! »_

 _She opened the bag and threw at Annie, her stuff, before walking to the end of the plane._

 _« Is that seat taken? » She asked the flight attendant._

 _« Let me check it... Yes it's available. You'd like to change places? »_

 _« Yeah... » Arizona whispered as she was seeing her life crumbling one more time, unable to feel anything other than a monstrous tantrum blowing in her chest._

 _…..._

As the words were spoken, Arizona got up and walked to the bathroom. « If you'll excuse me... »

Callie saw her leaving the table and sighed in frustration. What had just happened?

Was she upset about the memories about her mother? About her father?

Everything they've talked about was so heavy that the head of ortho didn't know what might have brought the awkwardness around the room.

Or was it a mix of everything? She felt ashamed for a moment to have asked those questions but how was she supposed to know that Arizona's life had been so rude?

Thinking twice about the blonde's remark made during their talks, Callie noticed a terrible lack of self-esteem from the usual perky talkative playful Arizona she usually got along with.

This bubbly side appeared to be a way to hide her demons away from people.

And that last sentence was haunting her mind « It is too late. I should have had it ».

This was just opening another door in Arizona's Robbins twisted life and Callie was scared about that confession.

Did that mean that Arizona had been married with kids? But where could that family be?

Hundreds of scenarios were running through her mind and she couldn't take it anymore.

She stood up and walked to the bathroom, knocking slowly on the door which wasn't closed.

« Are you okay in there? »

Arizona was leaning against the sink, looking sadly at the ground.

« I'm sorry Arizona, I didn't mean to bring ghosts from the past... »

« I just need a minute Dr. Torres. I'm okay don't worry. » Arizona replied emotionless.

« Is it because of something we talked about? » Callie tried to make her explain her reaction.

« It's just... Not right now please... »

Callie stepped back and suddenly felt her heart beat faster as she saw the vulnerability of the women who held her heart. Something was telling her Arizona needed to be alone when everything she wanted was to hold her and to know what can possibly hurt her so much.

« I think I'm going to get back home... » She simply said, grabbing her jacket and walking to the door. If she didn't want to lose her, she needed to give the blonde some space and it was now or never.

« What is this for you? » she heard Arizona walk out of the bathroom towards her as she was about to open the door.

« What? »

« Why are you sticking around me? Is it all about the trial because you're scared I might leave? » Arizona asked, visibly upset.

« Arizona... »

« Is it because you think I'm insane and I need a chaperon to supervise me? »

« What are you talking about? » Callie asked. The conversation was heading in a way she didn't intended it to.

« Because you are sticking around and I can't figure out why... » Arizona said as she approached Callie. « I've tried to annoy you at first to test you. I can't help it, I have trust and abandonment issues, I know it. I'm not proud of that facet of my personality. But after that I tried harder to make you go away from me. But you're still here... »

« I like you Arizona... I care about you. » Callie replied carefully, noticing Arizona's agitated behavior.

« I don't get why you're waiting for me... » Arizona said, now pacing in front of Callie as her hand was scratching her already hurt neck.

Callie remained frozen in place. She was wondering what Arizona was talking about even if she had an idea.

« Is there anything more than a professional link? Because even if I've been pushy and sometimes flirty, playfully, it was just a way to keep you away from me. But you kissed me out of nowhere in a guest room... And then you said let's keep it professional. And then you didn't come to see me for days and then you called and came here, all smiling and kind, and you keep asking questions about my life and you keep being so beautiful and I'm... rambling here Dr. Torres... »

Amused and confused by the woman in front of her, Callie was just speechless. She wrinkled her eyebrows and opened her mouth to talk but noting came out.

« Because if what I feel is real... » Arizona said weakly, moving her hand between her and Callie. « If that thing I noticed is really what I think it is, I'm going to need to leave the trial... »

« What? No way! I don't even know what you're talking about... » Callie suddenly replied taken by surprise by Arizona's statement.

« I like you... a lot. I find you very attractive, and smart and awesome... No you are way better than awesome but that's the point... »

« I'm lost here Arizona you're going to have to explain to me what you mean... because speaking for me, I am intrigued by you... I like you too and I care about you … a lot. But What does that have to do with the trial? I mean whatever could happen ... » Callie stopped and blushed. « Between us... I mean our 'relationship'... It can't be considered a problem because you're not technically my patient. You're a subject in a trial I'm the Head of... »

« I wasn't talking about that... I know all that, I was a surgeon, remember? » Arizona stepped a little back. « I was talking of my track record, or my karma or whatever it is which made my life a disaster each time I think I hit my rock bottom. And you're such an amazing human being, a talented and gifted surgeon, surrounded by a family and friends... »

« What are you trying to tell me? » Callie asked as she began to understand what Arizona was trying to say.

« If I happen to get close to you, you'll get hurt by me or by whatever would happen around me... » Arizona finally confessed in a breath, her eyes staring at the floor.

« This doesn't make any sense... Are you saying that you're cursed or that the accidents happening to your relatives are because of you? This is insane! » Callie interjected, totally stunned by what Arizona was thinking of herself.

« I'm insane! I'm unstable... Look what I've done to the last person I've been close to... It's just unbelievable... If it's not fate or whatever, it's about my bad choices, my impulsive reactions, and my lack of judgement... You have a pleasant life and I don't want to ruin it... » Arizona said, turning her back to Callie and sitting on her bed, her nails still scratching her neck.

« You are talking about supposed events that could happen if you and I were involved? This is ridiculous! And you don't know anything about what my life looks like... »

« Maybe, but I know that you'll might die in a field in Iraq or in a plane crash. You could get attached to me and get really hurt when I'd bail and disappear on you... I don't want to get attached to people anymore... Not seriously, and certainly not romantically. » Arizona said. « I'm done with that. I have already cried all the tears I should have for my entire lifetime. I'm was just not made for happiness. I've ruined everything that was good in my life and I don't deserve someone like you to be interested in me. »

« What happened to you to make you believe in such stupid things? And how do you know if anything or anyone can hurt you if you're not letting anyone in Arizona. That's the problem... You are so convinced that you're not worth anything that a bad event will always be around you. It's a fact... Bad luck is attracting bad luck. You just have to step up and to make the good luck shine on you... » Callie said, approaching Arizona and kneeling down next to her.

Arizona eventually met Callie's eyes but a silent sob began to shake her body. She didn't manage to scare Callie away. She didn't find the right words to make her stop the dangerous road she had already started. She was falling for that beautiful and amazing woman and the fact that the feeling was apparently reciprocal was freaking her out.

« I've been down too. Maybe not in a place as dark as you have been, but I've been on my knees more than once. And I wasn't sure I could even feel what I feel when I'm with you again... But it happened... You happened... And just for that, I'm grateful to have you around... And whatever your track record is... I think I'm ready to take the chance and take you on a date sometime... »

Surprised by the confession, Arizona raised her head and met Callie's reassuring smile. She was about to ask her to leave, to beg her to escape from that room when Callie's lips where on her cheek.

« I know you're not ready to think about it now, and I know I have to go, but please, don't push me away. » Callie whispered in her ear as Arizona closed her eyes and breathed heavily. « I want a chance to get to know you, no matter what you think could happen. I mean it. »


	9. restlessness and internal upheaval

**AN : / Hey guys.**

 **First of all, a big thanks for your amazing support. It mean a lot to me ! Your reviews are so positive and supportive. Thank you!**

 **For those who are following my other stories, I'd like to apologize for the lack of Update.**

 **I admit I am working on this story much more than the others, but I can assure, they will be update soon!**

 **You can have that chapter so soon thanks to , as usual working with me. Thank you ^^**

 **I really hope you'll like that chapter and that you'll take a few minutes to leave a review.**

 **Have a pleasant reading and let me know what you think will happen next!**

 **Flashback are in italic.**

...

"Come on Robbins! You can do better than that!" Miranda Bailey repeated with a satisfied grin on her face.

She was the boss today and Arizona was almost submissive, obeying each request from the shorter woman. She had asked her to backstroke in order to tone her stump before the first fit of the socket Callie and Jackson Avery were still working on.

Miranda was a little disappointed though because she loved the balance of power with her patient some times and she thought she had found a serious challenger in Arizona Robbins. But not today apparently. As unexpected as it had been, Arizona had been really quiet, almost silent when she arrived early in the morning. She had followed Miranda like a shadow and hadn't tried to contradict anything from her physiotherapist.

They were both working in the therapeutic pool of the hospital and they were not alone.

Sitting in a corner of the room, Amelia Shepherd was also in the physical therapy room, eating an apple and smirking at the visibly satisfied Miranda.

"You are so in your corner here Bailey..." she said, taking another bite of her fruit.

"I don't even know what you're doing here. Just go back to an OR and cut someone's brain, we're working here."

"I didn't know we had a pool here..." Amelia said. "Good to know, I'd like to get rid of the stress swimming here sometime, must be pretty quiet at night."

"This is not a pool, it's for physical therapy for patients only, not for some damn neuro surgeon in need of a break." the shorter woman snapped. "Get the hell out of my session."

"I'd like to, but Dr. Robbins and I have a lunch date..."

As soon as she those words were out of her mouth, a throat clearing behind them made her and Bailey jump in surprise.

"Hey!" Amelia said weekly. "Are you a vampire or something that you did not make any noise?"

"I just arrived..." Callie mumbled.

The brunette was apparently upset by something as her eyes were wondering all around. She was looking for Arizona, not having heard any news from the blonde since their last talk at her hotel room. It had been intense and emotional, and Callie had left Arizona on an upended revelation.

"So, with whom is the date?" she asked, sitting next to her colleague trying to hide the annoyance she was feeling right now.

"Robbins." Amelia replied nodding towards the pool where Arizona was still swimming, closely followed by Bailey.

"You mean a date? Like a romantic date?"

"No, just casual lunch, nothing romantic. I'm not into women." Amelia said, looking suspiciously at the brunette. "By the way I know she is kind of taken."

"What?" Callie asked, almost yelling in surprise and shock, making Bailey turn and give them a death glare.

"Sorry..." Callie mumbled, her cheeks turning red.

"Enough with you both, get out of here. Arizona needs to relax now, we have a massage session, so please, go away!"

"I was here to check in Bailey. I'm the head of the project, you can't kick me out of here."

"And I'm here to make sure she's feeling okay, you know after the surgery..." Amelia lied. "And we're having lunch together..."

Bailey sighed and dropped her hands toward them in defeat. She had notice the shy behavior of her patient and didn't want her to be stressed by anything. The massage was a moment all about quietness and those two surgeons might ruin it.

"Arizona, it's okay you can get out of there now." She said and Arizona stopped her swimming.

The docile blonde obeyed and swam to the next exit ladder.

As a reflex, Callie rushed to help her but she was forestalled by Bailey who offered the blonde her hand to get out of the pool and wrapped her body with a towel.

"Thank you Miranda..." Arizona said, sitting on the nearest bench, helped by her physiotherapist who approached her with crutches and immediately looked at her stump. Arizona closed her eyes and leaned her head against the wall. Her head was a real mess since her conversation with Callie and she had trouble sleeping for the past two nights.

From a distance, Callie approached shyly and handed her a bottle of water and a shorter towel. Arizona raised her head and saw Callie next to her. She was still here, caring and amazingly beautiful. She couldn't help but smile when she grabbed the bottle.

"I didn't realize I had an audience here..." She replied, exhaustion noticeable on her face. "Thanks Dr. Torres."

Callie replied with a weak smile. Arizona was tired but she was here and she was following Miranda's advice. It was a good thing. She had not disappeared, she was following the protocol.

After their open, heart to heart conversation two days ago, the two women didn't get the chance to talk to each other. Callie had just let Arizona know she was attracted to her and had left her, without pushing her further.

The night had been really emotional and Callie had a feeling that she needed to let Arizona process what she had just admitted to her. As convinced as Callie was about the way she was feeling towards Arizona, she knew the situation was really more complicated for her.

As the blonde was sitting in front of her, she bent, to put the bottle on the ground, and Callie noticed a tattoo between her shoulder blades: It was two wings tied together, just along her spine. It was really discrete and beautiful, and after what she knew about Arizona's stories, she immediately understood its meaning, and she felt sorry for her.

"So you have two of them?" Amelia asked.

"What?"

"Tattoos..."

"Yeah. But soon there would only be one. I'm going to ask Dr. Sloan to get rid of this one. "Arizona said, pointing to her thigh. « As I told you, it was a mistake of youth. You can be so dumb when you think you're in love... »

Callie swallowed hard. It was the first time Arizona was evocating her romantic life. But the fact that a tattoo was linked to a past love story made her think it must had been something important in Arizona's life, and it was bothering her again. She felt that awkward sensation just like when she had seen that picture of that girl holding Arizona. It was inappropriate and she knew it, but she couldn't help herself.

« Do you do any sports or something? Because your arms seem really muscular. » Amelia asked, bringing Callie out from her thoughts.

« I used to practice boxing. » Arizona replied. « But that was a lifetime ago. »

"Are you ready Arizona?" Bailey interrupted them, without any kind of consideration of the people around her.

"I am." The blonde replied, standing up, helped by Miranda.

Callie rushed by her side and gave her crutches, helping her to position them under her arms.

"Thank you." Arizona replied, looking at Callie with a weak smile and walking away with Bailey.

Callie looked at the two of them walking to the locker room. Arizona was not acting as her usual self. She seemed off and it was worrying her. She would have preferred some yelling or anger even. But this almost erased behavior wasn't a good thing, and she knew she had played a part in it.

"You're starting again..." Amelia teased.

Callie didn't reply. Yes she was staring, but above all, she was worried.

…...

 _It was just a job but she liked it. She was able to pay some bills and her college fee thanks to it. More so, she could take the leftovers at the end of the day and take them back home._

 _It was thanks to that Alex, her and Tim could eat the second half of the month. It was hard but med school was expensive and even if she had a scholarship because of her orphan status, it was not enough to pay everything._

 _She had always noticed her, a little shorter than her, always reading a book while waiting for her daily cappuccino. She wore glasses and they looked cute on her._

 _That's the nickname she had given her, but she was sure that Glasses was already with someone. She was too pretty to be single._

 _She had even witnessed several men been dismissed, trying to seduce her or to get her number._

 _She was always polite, when dealing with those boys. And when she was payed, she always offered Arizona a shy smile that made the blonde blush._

 _« When are you going to talk to her? » Teddy asked her colleague and classmate._

 _« Shut up! » Arizona replied, greeting the costumer who was just in front of the girl she liked. « Cut me some slack! »_

 _Without warning her, Teddy switched her place with Arizona and pushed her to the other post._

 _« What are you do...? »_

 _« Hello! » Teddy cut her off, smiling at Glasses. « 8.50 please. » She said as the girl was giving her the money._

 _« Oh, no I'm sorry, it's on the house. » Teddy said, not taking the cash._

 _« What? » Glasses asked, surprised by the news._

 _« Yes, because my friends here. » Teddy said, pointing at Arizona. « Wanted to take you on a date tomorrow night. But she's too shy to ask, so I'm doing it for her. »_

 _Arizona gasped, she wanted to slap Teddy's arm and disappear._

 _« So, would that be okay? »_

 _Glasses smiled, amused by what was happening._

 _« In fact, I'd be flattered... » she simply replied, as she smiled at Arizona._

 _« Great! » Teddy said, pushing Arizona with her elbow to make her react._

 _« Yay! » The blonde replied, too upset to say anything else._

 _« I'm Annie, and you? »_

…...

Arizona was settled at the cafeteria with Amelia and they were finishing their lunch. The talk had been easy, Amelia had done the most part of it, talking about her old memories from John Hopkins. They had discussed about their former teachers and their weird habits, laughing at the strange Dr. Perkins who was a nightmare by all the med students and resident.

But Arizona was not totally there and even if she didn't knew her for a long time, Amelia noticed it.

« So, is everything okay? Are you thrilled to try the socket? »

« I have to tone my stump a little more. Bailey said she's going to give me a schedule for the training. » Arizona replied.

« I wish you luck. She can be very bossy sometimes. »

Arizona replied by a simple smile and returned to play with the rest of the food in her plate with her fork.

« Are you okay? Because I've seen you more... cheerful and talkative. » Amelia worried. She didn't have a lot of friends at the hospital, and she was getting along well with the blonde.

« Yeah, I'm okay, just a little tired after that swimming training. » Arizona half lied. « And by the way why are you looking at your phone every ten second? If you have a better place to be, you should go. »

Arizona had found what she wanted, a way to escape Amelia's concern about her. She found the woman sympathetic and funny, but she wasn't here to make friends, at least that's what she was trying to avoid.

Things were already complicated regarding Callie, there was no place in her life for this. She wanted the trial to be over as soon as possible, so she could get back to being on her own and not being accountable to anyone but herself.

« It's nothing... just a man... » Amelia mumbled, putting her phone back in her pocket.

« So, there is a man... »

« Not really, it's just a fling. » Amelia said.

« You seem pretty upset for a simple fling? » Arizona said, knowing she had surely found a way to orientate the discussion in the way she wanted to.

« Because he doesn't know what he wants. He's married and he feels guilty towards his wife and on the other hand, he wants to see me more. »

« So make the call yourself and cut him of... except if you love him... » Arizona stated, smiling because she had found a new person to play with.

« Are you a love story adviser or something? » Amelia asked. « Because I don't think I know you well enough to be my confidant. So what about you? How are thing going with Callie Torres? »

« At least she's not married. Or I'd rather say she's not married anymore. » Arizona replied, not ready to let Amelia lead the chat. A struggle for dominance was beginning and that is exactly what she needed to change her mind.

« Well, you know she was married, so you guys must have talked... »

« We talk, a lot, like everybody in this hospital apparently. » Arizona said, her annoyance more and more noticeable.

« And what do you talk about with the hot ortho surgeon? Because I swear to god she wanted to strangle me when I told her I was having a lunch date with you. »

« So it was a date? I agreed for a simple lunch Dr. Shepherd. » Arizona replied. « And the hot ortho surgeon is a really nice person. That's all I have to say about her. »

« So is there someone else in your life? Because I saw you look at her. Even though she stares at you every time you're in the same room, you do the same... So spill! »

Arizona raised an eyebrow in surprise. Was it so obvious than even a stranger could read the attraction she was feeling for Callie?

« There's no one in my life. I'm not into relationships and rainbows and crap like that. » She coldly replied. « Apparently you people love romantic drama in here, but I'd like you to not include me in it. I have no time for that. »

« I thought you were jobless and without any relative or friends around. I wanted to be friendly. But I get it. I won't bother you anymore with lunch or conversations. We'll keep it all professional and about the trial. » Amelia replied, too tired to stand Arizona's twisted mood. « I know what you're doing. I've been to that place more than once in my life. I'm still on edge all the time. But I won't force you to be friends with me. I have no time for people who don't worth it. »

« So what are you still doing here? » Arizona snapped at her, immediately regretting it.

Amelia rolled her eyes and stood up. « I don't care about your past Arizona. I don't know what happened to you to be so bitter and cold. But I hope that you'll let some people get to you, one day. »

…...

« You're staring! » Meredith shouldered Callie as they were waiting at the cashier at the cafeteria.

Arizona was sitting alone at a table, Amelia just left the table.

She seemed lost in her thoughts and it was bothering Callie. What could she be thinking about? Was she upset because talking with her two days ago had reopened some old wounds?

« Stop staring! She's not going to vanish in thin air... » Meredith repeated, annoyed by her friends recent obsession towards the blonde.

« I'm not staring! Stop saying that. And tell your sister to stop saying it as well! »

« She's not my sister! I have enough sisters on my own to consider Dereck's mine too. » Meredith said, as the two of them walked to a table.

As they passed Arizona, Meredith greeted her and continued her way while Callie stopped, trying to capture her gaze. Succeeding, she put her tray on the table and smiled brightly at her, waiting for something to happen.

« Are you tired? » She asked carefully.

« You know I'm fine. » Arizona replied awkwardly, standing up. « I was just leaving. »

« Oh... » Callie said, noticing Meredith rolling her eyes a little further. « What are you doing this afternoon? I'm off at 6 if you'd like to go for a drink or something. »

« I'm fine thank you. Without being disrespectful, where I go is not any of your concern. » Arizona replied, biting her lips. She didn't want to seem distant but she wasn't able to react otherwise. Callie was already in her mind most of the time, and now she was invading her personal space. It was too much to handle.

« I still have two questions today... » Callie said, not wanting Arizona to slip between her hands. She thought that bringing back the game Arizona had established between them will ease the pressure.

« I have to go, if you'll excuse me... » Arizona lied, her body tense by Callie's insistence.

« What is it? » Callie asked, grabbing her hand. « Is it because of the other night? »

Arizona sighed and rolled her eyes. She was so on edge that she didn't know what to do right now.

« There's no way it's going to change the way I see you Arizona. You told me about a lot of personal things, and so did I. And I get that it must have been emotional and hard to talk about it. But it is a part of you and I'm happy you shared it with me. It's a proof of trust, I guess. »

« I really have to go Dr. Torres... »

« Will you meet me at 6 at the pub across the street? » Callie insisted, noticing Arizona's empty look. She seemed so vulnerable that she didn't want to leave her alone. There was so many things she couldn't predict from Arizona so she needed to talk to her and to let her know in detail what she had in her mind.

« Please. I'd like to get to know you more, as I told you. And I won't take no for an answer. »

Arizona raised her eyes and finally met those magical brown eyes that were making her feel insanely good when they were on her. « I'll be there so... »

With that, she shrugged, and Callie placed her hand on her shoulder, needing a physical contact to reassure her about the sincerity of what she had told her.

« I've been asking myself a lot of things too since I admitted I was attracted to you Arizona. I know it's a little unexpected, but I think we can figure this out together. At least, we could try. » Callie said carefully, her tone soft and her words chosen.

« I'm sorry. I'm just so fucked up. I must be broken or socially damaged. I wish it would be easy to talk with people without being scared to death to be disappointed or left behind. And talking with you made me realize that what I've done to the last people that were in my life was what I fear the most. I cut them off before they died or left me behind. »

Callie restrained herself from taking Arizona in her arms. She was so fragile at the moment, a little push could have break her. But she was also glad she was talking openly to her. Their connection was still there and it was relieving.

« But I'll be there at 6. I... I like you a lot too. But it's... I'm so complicated... »

Hearing Meredith clearing her throat further and feeling the intimacy of the moment happening at the wrong place, Callie removed her hand from Arizona's shoulder and their eyes locked for a moment.

« Thank you for giving me... us! A chance. So I will see you at 6. »

A shy but responsive smile drew on Arizona's face and Callie felt a wave of emotion running through her body. It was the first time she felt the way she was feeling for Arizona and she knew what she wanted now.

She look at the shorter woman walking out of the cafeteria for a minute, as if it was the last time she would see her and at the same as if it was the first time they had openly talked without taking their question game as an excuse to share their intimacy. It was a huge step.

She was taken out of her bubble by Meredith Grey who was behind her.

« It's going to be a disaster... » she said as Callie turned her gaze angrily to her.

« Shut up! »

« Why? Why would I shut up when I am seeing you rushing right into a wall?" Meredith insisted. "This is not going to work the way you'd like it to and you're going to be hurt again or to..."

"Stop it Mer, please." Callie cut her friend of. "You may be right. I have been hurt in the past, but I have learned from my mistakes. And what I know now, is that you can never be sure about anything. She might hurt me, I might hurt her. But she can be my happily ever-after... I don't know why I feel so attracted to her. I wasn't looking for anything like that, above all not with the subject of my research. I didn't plan any of this. But it happened, and even if I get hurt in the process, I'll survive. I've done it three times already and I'm still here. I'm not going to fear my feeling for the rest of my life. All you can do is be brave enough to get out there. I fought, I loved, and I lost. And I'm not going to stop because of my past failures. Life means feel. I want to feel even if it could be painful. But how would I know if I don't try."

"And you said you're not good at speeches..." Meredith simply shrugged and sat at her chair. "That was quite a strong one. But right now I'm hungry."

"Are you kidding? You were all "be careful yada yada yada ..." and now I am giving this brilliant speech you don't care..."

"You're a grown up Callie. You can make your own decisions. I was just telling you what I was thinking." Meredith said, taking a bite of her salad. "And if it works out with Blondie, I'll be a happy maid of honor at your wedding. But if she break your heart, I'll be your shoulder to cry on. »

…...

 _« We've been talking about this for months babe... If you're not sure about it, then don't do it... » Annie said, a little annoyed by her girlfriend's sudden doubts. She had brought the idea of those matching tattoos and Arizona had always told her she was okay._

 _« It's not that, but I'm going to be a surgeon, and even if I know I can do whatever I want outside of my work schedule, some patients may not be comfortable with a doctor having tattoos. »_

 _Annie rolled her eyes and put her purse back on the coffee table. Arizona was having second thoughts, or worst, she had never really be in the project, and she hadn't told her. It was a part of her girlfriend she didn't like: Arizona was always agreeing to whatever she was asking her, even if in reality, she didn't want to._

 _« Great, so why were you happy when we asked my friend to design this for us and we decided to make those freaking matching tattoos? It takes two to tango, right? »_

 _« Annie, it's not that I don't want to, it's just I don't think the wrist is the best place for it... It will be too much visible. I'm sorry if you're upset, but I prefer to tell you the truth. »_

 _« So you mean, you're okay about doing it? » A smile reappeared on Annie's face. Arizona was speaking up, for one of the first time in their relationship and it was an important step._

 _« Of course, but I was thinking right here will be more appropriate, and intimate... » Arizona blushed lightly, pointing at her upper thigh._

 _« As my brother says, love is all about compromises... » Annie said, happy to get what she wanted. « It's going to be my present for you for our first anniversary... »_

 _« So you're not mad at me? »Arizona worried shyly._

 _« I'm a little pissed at you, but I get it. And I'll meet you half way on it. »_

…...

Waiting for her appointment with Mark Sloan, Arizona was sitting in front of the nurse's desk.

She wanted to get rid of that tattoo for so long and it was time for her to erase that painful mark of her past. She wasn't in a better place right now, but she was feeling as stable as she had ever been in years. So the need of turning the page was really heavy in her mind.

Talking with Callie had reopened some horrible memories but it had also given her hope that something good could happen to her.

She was in a trial, she had met a stunning woman who had clearly admitted she was into her. It was scary, it was making some fears resurface. Those overwhelming things she was feeling were making her struggle with herself. She had to stop overthinking and clear her mind.

There were two middle-aged nurses in front of her, talking about anything and everything while checking some files on the computer.

« But I don't know why he's still with that girl... She could be his daughter... »

« I know... That's really disturbing. At least when he was married to Torres, he had someone to shut his mouth... »

Arizona smiled, hearing their remarks. They were not really discrete and didn't seem to care if anyone would listen to them. It was like the good old times in LA, when she was working with Alex and Teddy. She hadn't been really stable in her professional life but when she had that job, a little pushed by Teddy, she hadn't really envied it. She preferred being on the field, feeling the adrenaline of the urgency and the pleasure of feeling useful.

As she was thinking about her total lack of stability in every way, she realized her relationship with Annie had been more than stable, until the drama of the loss of their unborn daughter. It had been the end of their love, but she hadn't realized it immediately.

She rubbed her eyes nervously, trying to stop that endless spiral of bad memories when an intern joined the two nurses noisily, carrying a tray with medication on it.

« Hey, did you see Dr. Grey? She needed this for a patient but I can't find her, and I don't know who the patient is. » He asked, visibly exhausted.

« She's been paged to the ER. » one of the nurses replied. « Do you have the patient's name at least? »

Suddenly, ringing was heard everywhere in the hallways and all the medical staff stopped what they were doing to check their pagers.

« 911! » a nurse yelled as everybody rushed to the ER where they were expected.

The young intern hesitated a second, looking at the metallic tray he was carrying and hearing his pager ring again.

« Crap! » He yelled, putting it on the nurse's station, and running as fast as he could, expecting to be dragged in a huge surgery.

Witnessing the scene from her seat, Arizona thought to herself that she missed the adrenaline of the rush, even if she doubted working in a hospital was made for her.

That's why she had volunteered to work in the MSF group all over the world.

There every patient was a challenge and everything was hard and tough. You didn't have time to think or to plan. You had to improvise and make do with the means you had at hand. You had to act and react within the minute. It was what she loved and needed. But after her amputation, she knew it would be difficult to get back to that kind of a job.

Standing up, she reached the desk, looking for what she wanted. The bottle was on the tray, in everybody's sight. It was not a big one, but it could be enough. She looked around quickly, and as no one was looking around, she put it in her pocket and got back to sit in her chair, waiting for Dr. Sloan, quietly putting her hands on her thighs and trying to keep everything under control, everything crumbling around her.

…...

 _« I know its hard sweetie... But believe me, you'll feel better after... » Arizona said, stroking the hair of the young woman._

 _She was puking everything she had in her stomach and was heavily sweating._

 _« I can't do this Arizona... I just can't... »_

 _« You will Stephanie... I can assure you will. You have to be clean, and to remain clean, in order for you to integrate in that school! »_

 _« I'm just a junkie, I have no will. I better give up right now. It's too hard! »_

 _« Don't you dare say that! You have been offered an entire scholarship because of your amazing results! I'll be there to support you, and you're going to get through this! »_

…...

A few hours later, Arizona was walking in the streets of Seattle without real purpose. The tattoo wouldn't be an issue. Mark Sloan had reassured her it would be a quick remove, seeing its small size.

At first feeling relieved, she was now totally lost in her past. Memories of Annie and the failure of their relationship. Her feeling of guilt eating her alive. Everything was back and her body was making her known that she was under a lot of pressure. Her breathing was harsh and heavy. Everything was hurting. Each step she took was causing her pain, and she was close to throwing up. She wasn't far away from the hospital and she noticed the pub Callie had told her about at lunch.

She stayed in front of the pub, hands in her pocket, her mind running too fast for her.

Because there were other thing on her mind that were increasing her confusion. Or she should rather say a person.

Why was that amazing Dr. Torres interested in her...? It was an enigma, something she would have never assumed.

She wasn't looking for that kind of thing. But even though she was fighting against it with all her strength, it was too late. She was falling for Callie Torres. She knew it.

She looked at her reflection in the pub windows and sighed. What can be attractive in her? She thought so little about herself that nothing seemed to find favor in her eyes.

She was a one legged, homeless, jobless, run away woman and she wasn't even attractive.

And after what she had done, she didn't know if she can really look at herself. She didn't really know why she had taken that bottle.

It was the easy way to escape the reality, she knew it better than anyone. She had seen the damage it can do to someone, but she had never tried it, thinking she was stronger than that.

Stronger than all of those weak people she had seen on the streets. A lot of them had found themselves there because of that kind of product, addicted to it and unable to stop themselves.

Still looking at her, the only thing that was preventing her to do it was the memory of how hard it had been for her to help Stephanie to get rid of it.

Thinking twice, she couldn't stand to disappointing Callie, but she felt so weak right now, everything coming back to her mind endlessly.

She took the bottle in her hand, staring at it. She wouldn't do it. She wouldn't go down that road. Not now.

…...

Callie arrived at the pub at 6.08 exactly. She didn't know if Arizona would be here but she was hoping.

She had to take the chance. It was harder and harder to curb her impulses towards Arizona. She wanted to be with her, no matter what happened. She wanted to know everything about her, to be with her. She wanted to get to know her.

The feeling was intoxicating and addictive but it was also exciting. For the first time in her life, she might be about to start a relationship without knowing where it she might end up, and she didn't care.

She was ready to talk seriously with Arizona, to reassure her about what she was feeling for her and trying to know if it was reciprocated. She was eager but also nervous at the same time, feeling those fricking butterflies tickling her stomach.

Checking her phone by stroke, she settled on a stool at the counter and smiled at the bartender.

She knew the place and him very well, like every other member of the hospital staff.

She looked around and didn't see the woman she was expecting. Arizona might never show up, she wasn't really thrilled about the idea when Callie asked her, so it was finally maybe a bad idea. It was that facet of Arizona that destabilized Callie totally. This unpredictability of behavior was so confusing, but it was also weirdly attractive.

Tapping on the counter nervously, Callie was outed of her waiting by the ringing of her phone. It took her a few seconds to realize it was hers.

« Callie Torres. » She said, her voice oscillating between questioning and impatience.

« Hello Dr. Torres, its Teddy Altman. »

« Oh, Hello... » Callie replied, not expecting a call from that woman so soon. It was really bad timing though, Arizona could arrive at any minute.

« I'm calling you to apologize. I talked to Alex Karev about Arizona and I didn't think he would jump in the first plane to Seattle... »

« It's okay... We have talked, they have talked. »

« Good... » Teddy said calmly. « So how is she doing? How is the trial going? »

Callie was about to reply, turning her stool on the other side, looking for a quieter angle when she found herself in front of an out of breath Arizona. She was standing in front of her, a concerned look on her face and it made her jump in surprise.

« Oh my god! What... » Callie said, stopping when she remembered who was at the other end of the call. « I'm sorry, I have to leave you. You can call me back later. »

Without more explanation, she hung up and put the phone in her pocket.

Arizona was staring at her, her eyebrows wrinkled and her mouth half open, like if she wanted to say too many thing at the same time.

Callie looked at her, her eyes wide open in surprise, trying to guess what was happening.

« You have to stop... » Arizona said, breaking the awkwardness of the situation.

« What? »

« You have to stop before it gets further. » Arizona précised.

« No... » Callie simply replied, immediately knowing what the blonde was talking about. « I can't, and I think it's already too late. »

« I have nothing to offer you. » Arizona stated. « I'm bad at everything. I am annoying, I'm an ass... I like video games... »

« I like them too. »

« I sing loud and badly when I take my shower, and I cry easily for anything, even a reality show. I snore in the morning. And I lose things, all the time. »

« I can get used to that. »

« I am a terrible driver. I can fall asleep at the movies. »

« Arizona... Stop it and have a seat... » Callie said, putting her hands on the blonde shoulders to capture her attention. « You are apparently upset and there's no need to be... »

Arizona swallowed and tried to evacuate the accumulated tension by stretching her shoulders. She sat on the nearest stool and kept staring at Callie with an anxious expression incrassated on her face.

It managed to make Callie feel nervous too and she hesitated to take Arizona's hand in hers, fearing an unexpected reaction.

« I took that... » Arizona said, giving Callie the bottle she had stolen earlier.

Callie looked at it. She felt a twinge and her throat was weirdly dry.

« It's not what you think... » Arizona said.

« And what do you think I think? » Callie snapped.

She hadn't expected that. Was Arizona an addict? Nothing appeared on her blood test, and she was closely monitored concerning the trial.

« I found it on a nurse's desk today, and at first, it was to avoid it to fall into wrong hands. But then, I... »

« Arizona? » Callie worried. « Did you... »

« No never. I could have, regarding my emotional trouble, but I have never been dragged in that rabbit hole. » Arizona confessed. « When I was working for MSF, I've seen the damage those crap things are doing, even on young kids. And I've seen it on the streets too. It was not my way to deal with my problems. I drank too much some times, but... »

The flow of emotion was a little too overwhelming at the moment, and Arizona needed a minute to continue, clearing her throat to cool down.

Callie was totally hooked to Arizona's words and was looking at her, between awe and support.

« But the only way I found to survive through all the shit that had happened to me, was by running away from everything. » Arizona admitted as she took a deep breath. « Call it survival instinct, cowardice or whatever... I bailed, I ran away from my problems to avoid dealing with them properly. »

Not really understanding what Arizona meant, Callie turned her head on the side, lightly, focusing on the blonde's facial expression.

« What do you mean? You are leaving? »

« No! Oh geez... I'm so fucked up... »

« Arizona I don't get it? What is it with that morphine bottle and you running away from your problems? »

« Our talk the other day, and Alex's visit... It upset me, a lot more than what I thought it would. And as messed up as I was, my first reaction hadn't been to flee... » Arizona confessed. « I didn't want to leave. So when I found that out, I thought that it could help me escape from everything, going away, but not physically... At least for a while. I was going crazy one more time. And then, I wasn't able to do it. »

« That's good right? » Callie said carefully, trying to figure what all of that speech was about.

« I didn't want to leave or to take that because of you. »

…...

 _« She is dead Teddy, don't you get it? She's dead! » Henry said as he paced nervously._

 _« I know that babe, believe me, I know that... » Teddy whispered, unable to calm her boyfriend._

 _« That's her fault! »_

 _« What? Are you kidding me? It was an accident! » Teddy said louder, gasping in reaction of her lover's words._

 _« She was totally out of control! Annie wanted to leave her, for a long time, but she didn't want to upset her more! So she waited till the right moment to tell her. »_

 _« You're being irrational Henry! She didn't force her to go on that plane for god's sake! »_

 _« Of course she did! And Annie was too kind to say no to her. She told me she wanted to have that trip as a good memory for the two of them. Like a good bye... » Henry said, bursting into tears. « That's her fault... My sister is dead because of her. And I can't stand to see her in our apartment. »_

 _« She's been through a lot Henry! She lost her girlfriend, she's badly injured, and she has no family around. I'm not going to let her down! »_

 _« I want her out of here! »_

 _« What... What does that mean? She's my best friend Henry, she lost Annie too. She needs all the support you can offer her. »_

 _« I can't Teddy, I'm sorry. It's me, or it's her. You have to make a choice. »_

…...

« I didn't want to leave or to take that because of you. »

There was gasping from both side. It was almost a shocking gasp for Callie who wasn't prepared to hear something like that, and it was the surprise to confess it at loud for Arizona.

The revelation had taken the blonde aback, like if she hadn't admitted it to herself. She nervously shook her head and stepped back.

It was like someone else had taken control of her voice and it took her a moment to realize what just happened.

Callie's reaction was almost strange. She was mouthing some inaudible sound, hesitating between smiling and asking a « What? » of surprise. The two of them couldn't deny their mutual attraction and for a minute, there was no ghost of the past or trial in question.

« You see! That's what I'm telling you! I'm terrible, in everything I do! » Arizona said, moving her hands nervously. « I shouldn't have told you that. I was supposed to discourage you... »

Callie took an exaggerated breathe and straightened on her stool. The happy Bubble that have been floating around them had already been popped and Arizona was rambling in front of her but she found her absolutely adorable.

« I'm not a good person Dr. Torres. » Arizona stated. « I can damage you. You don't deserve this. »

« You won't damage me Arizona. » Callie said. « I know terrible things happened to you, but you got through it. »

« That's not the point. You don't know me, at all. I am not allowed to be happy. I must have missed the day they were giving it away. » Arizona explained, stepping back again.

Callie already knew what kind of hopeless speech Arizona was going to give her and she didn't want to hear it anymore.

« Shut up! » she said making Arizona' blue eyes bulge in surprise. « You don't get to tell me about you making bad things happen to the people you care about! »

« But it's the truth! » Arizona immediately replied sincerely. « Sooner or later, something will happen... »

« So what? Am I supposed to listen to you depreciate yourself without telling you that I don't fucking care? I'm not living for some hypothetical event that could occur to me! »

Arizona was surprised to hear Callie talking that way, but she was more surprised to notice how she seemed interested in her despite all her actions to keep her away. She really meant it.

« Now you're going to sit here and we're going to talk! » Callie insisted, hands on her hip.

Arizona too surprised to react otherwise approached the stool next to the brunette slowly, wiping her sweating hands on the back of her jeans.

As soon as she approached her, Callie grabbed the side of her jacket and brought her closer. Arizona remained agape, feeling Callie's eyes detailing every line of her face. She wasn't able to do anything, and if she was very honest with herself, she was enjoying the moment.

Callie had acted impulsively and didn't know what to do next. She simply smiled. She had always reacted like that lately every time it was concerning Arizona. So when she saw a little grin appearing on the shorter woman's face, she brought her closer, their face reaching dangerously close.

Arizona swallowed, waiting for Callie's next move. Feeling the brunette's breath on her face made goose bump rise on her entire body and it was really amazing. She felt alive at that moment, and everything else didn't matter at all.

« If I make you want to stay, I think it's a good sign, isn't it? » She whispered in the blonde's ear, making her close her eyes.

Callie noticed the shiver on Arizona's neck and let her hands off of her jacket but not pulling away from her face.

Arizona didn't know what was happening but the feelings she was experiencing were amazingly good. So good, that the first thing that came in her mind as she reopened her eyes was that she couldn't deserve someone like Callie to like her. And it was enough to make her eyes fill with tears.

Callie softly kissed her cheeks, feeling the salty taste of Arizona's tears on her mouth. She stood up from her stool and lead Arizona's head to rest on her strong shoulder, stroking her messy blonde curls, as she wrapped her waist with her arm.

« I don't know what I can do to ease your pain, but you know what? » Callie asked as the embrace continued.

Arizona, who thought now that Callie's shoulder was made for her cheek to rest, shrugged, was not able to say anything.

« I'm taking you on a date tonight. And it begins now. No pressure, no precise purpose. Just you and me, getting to know each other... »


	10. Sleepless in Seattle Part I

**AN:/ Hey guys!**

 **Chapter already! I have to say that I Love writing this story. It's kind of unexpected because I didn't like AU stories before.**  
 **And now I love them!**

 **So you are going to read this long chapter where our two surgeons are on a date.**  
 **A lot of talks, of confidence and Arizona's relationship with Annie more revealed. The flashback are not chronological, so if you're having a hard time understanding it, let me know.**

 **One more time Shy Alien Help me, and I am so grateful she is still working with me even if my chapters are sooooo long! Thank you so much!**  
 **And thank you all for all your positive feedback! I love your reviews, they are so motivating! Please keep them going!**

 **This is the first part of the date. Next chapter will the second part.**

 **Have a nice reading!**

 _ **Flashbacks are in italic.**_

...

Arizona couldn't take her eyes off of that perfect profile. She was like mesmerized by her every features and she was trying to take a mental pictures of that moment.

Her eyes first. They were magical and so soulful. Everything she was feeling was readable in them. And there was that little spark, barely noticeable, in their corner. But she knew where it was exactly, because she was fascinated by that brown gaze.

She was drawing her nose line with her eyes. Every lines were so delicate and flawless. Everything about her was beautiful.

Her gaze was now stuck on those amazing luscious lips she had once felt on hers. The memory of that unexpected kiss made her redden a little, as she brushed her own mouth with her index finger.

She was trying to focus on another thought but it was impossible. Everything was bringing her back to Callie and all her unusual choices that were made because of her.

She had stayed when she had told her she was taking her on a date right now. She hadn't been able to do anything else, feeling a forgotten emotion when Callie had held her in her arms.

It was like a relief, or something stronger, but there were no real words to describe it.

She had felt free as she had always wanted to be. Just during that too short embrace which had been interrupted by the brunette's pager, the world had stopped, and nothing else around mattered.

Everything was away. Fears, doubts, pain, anger and all the bitterness had vanished. It was too good to be real, that was what she immediately thought when the ring of the pager had stopped the dreaming moment, bringing her to the reality.

It was just Jo who needed Callie's signature for some charts and she had told her to join her at the pub, because she wasn't sure Arizona would have waited for her. Her day was over and she didn't want her job to intrude on her personal life right now. Because this was it. She was having a personal moment, a date. The first one in months, and with a woman she already liked.

Keeping a hand on the blonde's back, almost wanting to rub comforting circle on it, she had asked if she was okay to settle at a quiet booth at the left side of the counter to continue their sudden date, and Arizona had simply nodded, as Callie had walked with her to the table and had excused herself just for a while as Jo entered the room with the charts for Callie to sign.

And for a few minutes, sitting alone in that booth, Arizona was contemplating, still not understanding what such an accomplished woman could find in her.

« I'm sorry... Fellows... You know how they can be sometimes. » Callie apologized, as she sat in front of the speechless blonde. « I'm totally yours... »

The last words made Arizona smirk and Callie smiled awkwardly. It was a game her date loved to play and she was falling in the trap one more time.

« I mean I'm free from anything else, so we can focus on our date... » She tried to explain.

« Dr. Torres, you don't have to walk on eggshells when you're talking to me. » Arizona said, smiling at her. « I am going to be really civilized tonight. I hope... »

« I know that. And you, you don't have to call me Dr. Torres. Callie will be great. »

« But 'Dr. Torres' sounds hot... » Arizona teased, smiling at last. « You know, Hispanic consonance... »

And that little smile on Arizona's face, almost childish and shy made Callie's heart melt.

« Really? But if we're here to get acquainted, it will be easier. »

« Okay, I'll try... » The blonde nodded, faking disappointment.

« I wanted you to know that I am thankful you came. It means a lot to me. » Callie continued, offering Arizona the most beautiful smile the blonde had ever seen. She could watch Callie Torres smile like that for the rest of her life. It was bright, calming, amazing.

« I've been struggling with myself since the other day, and I'm sorry if I've been a little distant. It wasn't just about you or what you told me. » She tried to explain, clenching her fingers nervously.

« I get it, you were processing a lot of things, it's okay. » Callie ventured, not really sure she made the right call by insisting on having that date out of nowhere.

« The more time I spend back with 'normal' people, the more I notice my emotional and social issues. » Arizona confessed. « I probably should consult a shrink or something. »

« If it's something you need, I can arrange that. Dr. Herman is a very qualified psychiatrist at the hospital. I can arrange an appointment for you. »

« I'm not there yet, it was just a thought. » Arizona stopped Callie's speculation. « And we're not here to talk about that, are we? »

« Right... » Callie said, a little taken aback and short of words.

The bartender approached the booth and served them their drinks and the brunette smiled nervously to thank him. She needed to step back and to be as cool as she could be. It was a date with a woman she liked. She had been on dates. A lot of them. And it was her idea after all...

« I ordered two glasses of white wine. I hope you like it? » She said, looking for Arizona's approval.

« It's great. » Arizona said, nodding.

As they took the first sip of their drink, a comfortable silence took place. Arizona was relaxing, and so was Callie. Everything around them was quiet and it sounded like a real date to say the truth.

« It's so casual. » Arizona said calmly. « Being in a pub, having a drink with a girl and ... »

« And? »

« Nothing. It's so normal for anyone but me, messed up me. It's still complicated you know? » Arizona said, looking all around her. « I haven't done this in years. Because before being in the place I am now, I was … I don't know how to say it. »

« Arizona you don't have to talk about the past. We're not here for that. » Callie précised, not wanting to witness another volte-face.

« I know, but it makes me think about things. »

« Okay. I'm listening if you want to talk about it. » Callie stated.

« It's just... You see, I don't know how to interact. I am always establishing conflicted relationships. It's the way I've been socializing with people since my childhood, even before my father died. »

« Is it something you want to talk about now? »

« I don't know. If we're on a date, it's supposed to be light and fun, I guess? » Arizona clenched her teeth.

« Don't tell me you've never been on a date? » Callie asked, taking the opportunity to go on an easier conversation.

She couldn't even think Arizona had not been wooed by a lot of woman, or men, or both. She was so stunning and interesting.

« I have, of course, but not that much... »

…...

 _Tim was putting the last box in front of his sister in her and Teddy's place. The two friends had decided to rent a little apartment since they were in the same classes and got along well._

 _It was next to the med school and the rent was affordable._

 _« You have everything you need? » the tall blonde man asked._

 _« I'm good Tim. » Arizona said. « Thanks a lot for the help. »_

 _He smiled at her, shared between pride to see his sister becoming independent and a little sad to let her go. She had been through a lot of hurdles in her life and it had made her stronger in a way, but maybe a little too much. And whatever happens, she was his little sister._

 _« I got you this. » he said, taking a box out of his backpack. « Alex told me you wanted to practice again. »_

 _Arizona opened the box, and smiled when she discovered a pair of boxing gloves._

 _« Oh... Thanks bro... » She said, walking to him and hugging him._

 _« So, did you find a coach or a training center? » Tim requested. « Because I know a guy who can help you. Do you want his number? »_

 _« Uh, well, finally I don't think I'm going to do it. » Arizona replied, taking a box and beginning to unpack the kitchen items, avoiding any visual contact with her brother._

 _« Why? » he asked, naturally joining her and helping._

 _« I didn't know we had a waffle iron... » Arizona said, trying not so subtly to change the subject, opening too many boxes nervously._

 _« What's the problem? » Tim asked, grabbing her arm to stop her. « Is there anything I should know? »_

 _« What? No, nothing, it's just that I won't have time with my job and school. » Arizona lied._

 _« Arizona... » Tim insisted._

 _« I... Well Annie thinks it's not really a feminine sport, and she's scared I will get disfigured. » Arizona mumbled her confession, already knowing what her brother was about to say._

 _« I knew something was up... » Tim grumbled. « It's always like that with her. »_

 _« Tim... Please... »_

 _« What? Isn't it the truth? At least I'm happy you're not moving in with her. » Tim insisted, receiving a disappointed glare from his sister. « I don't like her Zo'. She's not the girl you need. She speaks for you, she makes all the choices in your relationship. She doesn't like Alex so you are seeing him less and less... »_

 _« That's nonsense... » Arizona nervously scratched her neck, putting the items she got in her hands on the counter. « I know she can be pushy some times, but I am not easy on her either. I love her... »_

 _« You've been with her for more than a year now and I have met her what? Three times? I'm sure she's avoiding me because she doesn't like me. »_

 _« She's really busy you know. That's all. »_

 _« I hope you're sure about your feelings sis'. Because you deserve all this world can give. » Tim said, nodding. « And if you're telling me you're happy with her, I will try to be nice to her. »_

 _« Thank you... » Arizona whispered, ready to cry but restraining her tears._

 _« But I don't like her, period! »_

…...

« Remind me why I've never asked you if you are gay, or bi... » Callie asked suddenly bringing Arizona back to Earth.

« I'm gay, like super Gay, the gayest of gay. » Arizona smiled « Lesbianic all the way. »

« And the fact that I'm bi isn't a problem for you, right? » Callie asked, knowing where she was going.

« Why would it be? » Arizona asked, surprised by the question.

« Because my ex was always afraid I would go back to men. For her you couldn't be 'Kind of a lesbian' . She was always freaking out because I had male friends. »

« But she was with you, wasn't she? So what was the problem? » Arizona asked astonished, she didn't understanding that kind of reasoning.

« I don't know. When I think about it now, and I don't really know why we were together. We were totally different. We didn't want the same things, we didn't have the same expectations... »

…...

 _« I don't want kids. »_

 _« What? Seriously? » Callie asked, upset by the news she just heard. She was having a nice dinner with her girlfriend after a long day at the hospital and Erica just said that in the middle of the conversation._

 _« Why are you so surprised? It's too much of a complication for no result... » Erica explained, visibly upset to see Callie's astonishment._

 _« Erica, you don't have kids to get some results! »_

 _« Maybe, but that's a reality, I don't want them. If you want kids, then I think we are not going to last long. »_

 _« What are you talking about, we were just talking casually. And personally, I have always thought about my future with kids around me. »_

 _Callie shook her head, disappointed by what her girlfriend just told her. She knew Erica was not a person who compromised and it was a quality she admired professionally, but in her private life, it was harder to stand._

 _« That's what I was talking about. You're not in this relationship the way I am. You want babies, a husband and adapted schedules... »_

 _« This is ridiculous! I want kids with the person with who I will share my life forever, no matter what their gender would be. » Callie stated, annoyed to hear that same old song again._

 _« This is one of the biggest difference between us Cal'. I don't want kids and I know with which gender I want to spend my life. Everything is not always in the grey area. »_

 _…..._

« Well, she was a jerk. I hope that you know that you deserve better than her, whatever your issues were. » Arizona stated, nodding seriously.

She was adorable and Callie was pleased to see that protective attitude from her. Erica had never been that kind of a person which made her ask herself why they had been together, one more time.

« You're totally right. And I lost too much of myself in that relationship. » Callie sighed, remembering how hard it had always been to compromise with Erica. She had always been the one to bend until she couldn't take it anymore.

« It was not a balanced relationship at all, she always wanted me to give up things. And I did. » Callie sadly smiled. « And I was just asking this, because I don't want it to be a problem for you if you weren't comfortable with it. I'd understand it. »

« So what does that mean? Because I told you I don't care. » Arizona asked, already scared. « Are you giving me a kind of a loophole Dr. Torres? »

« You'd be too happy! » Callie smiled. « It's not that at all Arizona. And please stop calling me Dr. Torres. Callie would be better. »

« I'll try. » Arizona replied. « But it suits you so well. »

« I'm glad you came. » Callie said, her fingers brushing Arizona's on the table as the blonde was drawing some line on the mist on her glass.

She observed her reaction discretely. First surprised by the contact, Arizona pulled her hand away, but quickly, she approached her hand from Callie's, and brushed it slowly.

The feather touch relaxed the brunette immediately while Arizona grabbed her hand firmly, intertwining their fingers, and drawing little circles on Callie's thumb.

« It's unreal for me you know. Sitting here with you in this pub, and that... » Arizona's said, pointing at their hands stroking each other.

« Are you open to... try something with me? » Callie asked, almost regretting it. Everything was going smoothly and she had maybe broken everything.

« I'd like to Dr... Callie... I'd like to tell you I'm open to the idea and not asking myself three billions useless questions... » Arizona said, her voice cracking. « But it's just... »

« What? What is it? You can tell me. »

« You're not gonna like it because it's so lame, and we are on a date so I'm not going to feel sorry for myself one more time. » Arizona smiled sincerely raising her head and meeting the most amazing eyes she had ever met.

« Good... » Callie dreamingly replied. « So what about now? Would you like to go to dinner or something else? »

« Dinner would be great. » Arizona replied immediately. « I'm starving! »

« Great. What about some sushi? There's a Japanese restaurant not so far. »

« I love sushi! »

…...

 _« Hey babe! » Annie greeted her girlfriend as she came back from work. « How are you doing? »_

 _She approached Arizona who was sitting on the couch. She was visibly worried and was touching her baby bump under all angles._

 _Annie sat next to her, which made her jump._

 _« You're here? » Arizona asked, her eyes unfocused and her breathing hard._

 _« Of course it's me. Didn't you hear me enter? » Annie asked, noticing the concerned expression on Arizona's face. « Hey, hey! What's wrong? »_

 _« She's not moving... » Arizona mumbled._

 _« What? »_

 _« Since this morning. She hasn't kicked or moved... »_

 _« I'm sure it's okay, don't freak out... » Annie said, gulping and trying to remain calm. « She must be tired you know. She's got your energetic temper. Remember the other day when she was having a dance party in there? »_

 _« Something's wrong Annie... I can feel it. » Arizona stated as Annie didn't know how to react. She was a nurse and Arizona was a pediatric surgeon, so they both knew that something was wrong._

 _« We're going to the hospital, okay, and we'll see. » Annie said calmly._

 _« Can you call Alex please? »_

 _« Why? » Annie snapped._

 _« Because I want him to check on me. »_

 _« It's not a good idea Arizona. »_

 _« Can you for once do what I'm asking you? He's my family and I need him. I know you don't like him, but I only trust him! »_

 _« I'm not calling him. White is following your pregnancy, I'll ask someone to page her when we arrive. And I think it will be better if we don't go to your hospital. »_

 _« Are you kidding me? I need people I trust! » Arizona yelled, worry and anger taking over her. « So we are going to Good Samaritan right now, and Alex will take care of me and the baby! »_

 _« I don't think it's... »_

 _« Shut up! Don't you get what's happening in here again? » Arizona said, pointing her stomach. « I told you it was a bad idea to choose me for carrying a child, even If I wanted to do it! »_

 _« You shut up! You need to see a doctor, and we can't waste more time! »_

…...

They were out of the restaurant and everything seemed perfect. It was just a few blocks away and they had decided to walk.

Always thinking about Arizona first, Callie wanted to be sure she wasn't in pain because of her new prosthetic. She knew that it took some time for it to suit correctly according to the stump, and that she must be suffering from some bruises resulting from the friction. But she didn't want to be seen as the over protective girl or make Arizona feel weak. So she let her be.

Arizona passed in front of her as Callie held the pub door. The night was falling and the street lights were accentuating the almost romantic aspect of that evening.

Beginning their walk, side by side, Callie turned her eyes and looked at Arizona's hand for a moment. Was it to hold it? Would Arizona be okay with that?

She didn't have time to think more, as Arizona took the lead and took her hand in hers, confidently. She tightened the grip and they walked to the restaurant in a comfortable silence.

Callie was smiling like a silly person, trying to look at their intertwined fingers without crossing Arizona's gaze.

Arizona was doing the same, as if meeting Callie's gaze could break the magic of the moment. It was nothing, just holding a woman's hand in a crowded street, but for her it was a big deal.

Since her accident, she had lost hope for love, thinking she had her chance and that she couldn't do such simple things again.

Even if she wanted her out of her mind, Annie was haunting her memories. Their up and down relationship seemed to have killed her ability to be happy.

The guilt she was still feeling was so hard to handle that she wanted to tell Callie everything, but she didn't know how. And it was not the moment to talk about that even if she was thinking Callie might understand her atypical way of behaving some times.

So when they arrived in front of the restaurant, she was stopped in her walk by Callie who was still holding her hand. That's when she noticed she had been lost in her painful memories instead of enjoying the moment.

« Oh... I'm sorry, I didn't notice it was just here. » Arizona said, feeling ashamed.

« I see. You seemed lost in your thoughts... » Callie replied.

« I was wondering if it was okay, you know... Holding your hand... »

« It's more than okay, I love it. »

Callie's reassuring smile helped Arizona relax. She loved those simple things you do when you're with a person you like a lot.

She loved to show her affection to the woman she loved, even in public spaces.

She hadn't gotten the chance to do it with Annie. She wasn't effusive, even in reduced committee. And it's a thing she had been missing in a long time.

« Are you alright? » Callie worried as Arizona's eyes seemed to wander in the air.

« Yeah! » The blonde shook her head. « I'm sorry I'm dressed so casually... »

« I noticed you love to be dressed like that. » Callie smiled. « It's not a problem, it suits you well! »

« I have always had that grunge look, before it was trendy. » Arizona clenched her teeth. « But I can be girly too sometimes! »

« I can't wait to see that! » Callie replied, opening the door of the restaurant, inviting Arizona to enter.

…...

 _« Alex! What's the problem! » Teddy worried, entering the on-call room. Arizona had paged her 911, but she was stuck in the OR._

 _Alex was sitting on the bed, his head bent and his fists clenched. One more time, their friend was about to see her world collapse._

 _« What's happening? She paged me 911! » Teddy insisted._

 _« She... Arizona... She... »_

 _« What? » Teddy immediately felt her heart beat faster. « Alex! Talk to me! »_

 _« She came earlier, telling me the baby wasn't moving... » Alex eventually managed to say._

 _Teddy sat on the opposite bed, taking off her scrub cap fearing the worst. « Don't tell me... »_

 _« The umbilical cord wrapped around her neck... »_

 _Teddy's eyes immediately watered. Everything was falling apart one more time and she couldn't do anything to help her friend._

 _« There was nothing we could have done... »_

 _« But everything was normal last week... She had scans done just a month and a half before... » Teddy said, sadly remembering Arizona asking her to be the godmother of her daughter a few days before._

 _« I know... » Alex whispered desperately. « It's a nightmare... »_

…...

The dinner was playful and easy. They had mostly talked about their food taste.

Where Callie was more classic, Arizona was kind of an adventurer and had tried a lot of different dishes from all over the world through her humanitarian missions.

« And you couldn't imagine it is that good. » Arizona said under Callie's disgusted gaze. « It's crunchy, but not too roasted. You have to think beyond the appearance. »

« Ew! I will never eat that! » Callie replied. « A grilled spider? Really? I hate bugs, I don't do bugs! »

« Well, technically, a spider is not a bug, it's an arachnid. » Arizona teased, sticking the end of her tongue.

Callie face lit up to see this part of Arizona, so carefree and visibly having fun. She was more beautiful than ever, if it was even possible. A sparkled blue glance from that woman was making her whole body form goose bumping.

« Did you love working for that NGO? » Callie asked, taking the food as a pretext to make Arizona talk about herself.

« It was really exciting and it suited me. I didn't see myself hooked to a hospital, working with the same team all the time, doing the same type of surgeries. Not that I don't respect that, but it wasn't how I saw my job. » Arizona explained. « It was a really amazing experience. But it was really exhausting and time consuming. We were working for three months period at least, so it was not easy to have a private life. »

She bit her lips, knowing she was going on a road she wasn't ready to talk about with Callie.

The easiness of the conversation had made her forget the boundaries she wanted to keep. Now it was too late and looking at the concern in Callie's eyes, she knew she was going to get the question.

« Soooo, you were in a serious relationship? » Callie ventured.

« I was... » Arizona mumbled, her voice barely audible. « But she wasn't the person I thought she was, so it doesn't matter. »

« I feel you... » Callie replied. « When I was with George, I thought he was the man of my life. I was doing so much effort to make things work between us. I was giving, and giving, always smoothing things and compromising. When he left me, I realized how blind I've been. I don't even know if he ever loved me... »

« You know what, he was not better than that Erica... They were both bitches! » Arizona said. « And they must have been blind, or stupid to let someone like you go. »

« Well concerning Erica, I left her, so you can't say that. » Callie précised. « And the next day, she was gone and I've never seen her after that. »

« Whatever. She wanted to change who you are and it's lack of respect. When you love someone, you love everything. Even what you don't like, you love. »

It was hard for Callie to refrain herself. Arizona was like an angel send on earth to give her what she had always wanted to hear from the person she would share her life with. She had thought that so many times, trying to feel it for a person but receiving nothing in return or just realized it was not love but friendship.

« What did you just say? » She asked, still not sure Arizona had told the definition of love she had secretly been dreaming to hear from someone else's mouth.

« That if you love someone, you have to love the whole package... »

…...

 _« I don't want to go through that again Annie, but I do want to have kids, some day. » Arizona said._

 _They had lost the baby two months ago and their relationship had been suffering due to the lack of communication. Annie had been distant and cold when Arizona had been crying and helpless. That's why she had taken the first mission her NGO had offered her, needing to be anywhere else._

 _« Why are you even talking about that now? You are in the Philippine doing I don't know what. » Annie snapped. « I'm just telling you it was a bad idea, from the beginning. »_

 _« What was that supposed to mean? You wanted that baby as much as I did! »Arizona asked flabbergasted._

 _« I'm saying that we don't know anything about your family health issues. It was a risk and you knew it, and by the way... »_

 _Annie stopped herself. She didn't want to say that, not when Arizona was thousands of miles away._

 _« Annie? Are you still there? »_

 _« Yeah... »_

 _« What were you saying? » Arizona worried, thinking she had misheard._

 _« This baby was your dream, not mine. » Annie confessed coldly._

 _« Are you kidding me? You were here, every step of the way, you agreed to it, you were always by my side... »_

 _« Because I knew that you needed something to pull everything together back after Tim's death. And you were so excited... »_

 _« Are you saying you were trapped in that project? » Arizona yelled on the phone, feeling like a node tightening around her throat._

 _« In a way I was... But I would have loved that baby, as much as I love you Arizona. »_

 _« Are you really sure you love me, because what you are telling me right now sounds like the total opposite ! » Arizona nervously wiped the tears rolling on her cheeks._

 _« That's not the point... » Annie whispered. « You are always so wide of the mark... »_

 _« Excuse me if I am but hearing the woman who was supposed to raise a child with me telling me I forced her to have that child was not something I thought I will ever hear! » Arizona said, sob and anger in her voice._

 _« Let me finish! » Annie yelled on the phone. « You remember how you were about the tattoos? You told me you were in without telling me the truth because you were scared I was going to be mad at you? »_

 _« If you are about to compare those fucking tattoos and our daughter... » Arizona cut her off. « I don't want to talk about that, I have to go... »_

…...

Callie's eyes where wide open and sparkling.

Her surprised expression managed to worry Arizona who immediately tried to clutch at straws.

« It's not what I meant. I mean not literally. You can love a person but if there is some of its temper or way of thinking you don't like it's not. I mean you can actually... »

« Arizona, it's great, what you said. I'm just... » Callie mumbled as she was trying to stop Arizona from Rambling. « It's almost the exact definition I have for loving a person. »

Arizona's mouth remained open as she rolled her eyes from a side to the other, her forehead wrinkling in concentration.

She was so unsure of what she was saying that she didn't want to upset Callie for no valuable reason.

Processing Callie's word, she nodded slowly. « I guess it's a good thing? » She said, clenching her teeth.

« It is... » Callie laughed.

« I'm sorry... » Arizona apologized, a little ashamed by her misunderstanding. « Sometimes I have difficulties understanding what I've been telling. I'm not good at reading people. I suck... »

One more time, Arizona's low esteem issues were back.

« No, not at all! » Callie reassured her. « I totally share your point of view, that's what I meant! And I know that you are really trying to share with me, and I want to tell you I'm really grateful! »

Arizona blushed, not really guessing Callie would thank her for just a simple talk.

She was amazing. Every word they exchanged was showing her how kind and caring Callie was and it was almost scary for her.

She wasn't used to that kind of relationship and she was walking on eggshells, fearing to waste everything by an inappropriate move or word.

« And that person you were in a relationship with, she wasn't like that? »

« It's complicated. » Arizona sighed, her nails automatically rushing to her neck and scratching the already bruised skin. « She was one of the only serious relationships I had, but as you should guess, terrible things happened. »

Feeling the blonde tense while she was speaking, Callie hesitated a little between insisting and talking about it once and for all, or shutting off the subject and getting back to the good place they were in.

« Such as? »

« She's dead, whatever could it be. Because of me. » Arizona almost snapped, her facial expression hardening and her gaze switching of. « She was on the plane with me, you know. The plane which crashed. And she died when while I stayed alive and lost my leg. »

It was said. A part of that burden Arizona had been carrying for almost four years was revealed and it weirdly eased the atmosphere around them.

It was said out loud and Callie was shocked. Was it possible for only one person to have been through so much? But right now, her only fear was that she had opened a box Arizona wanted to remain closed and that the blonde was going to run away.

« She wasn't good to me. My brother had noticed it the minute he met her. He didn't like her, and vice versa. » Arizona explained, visibly relaxed. « She's died in that fucking crash, approximatively twenty five minutes after announcing to me she was breaking up with me because she had met someone else. That's what made me change my seat, and that's why I am be here today, totally ravaged by guilt but sure that everyone I care about can disappear anytime if I stick around too long. »

…...

 _« You can't accept that Teddy! » Arizona yelled and cried. « You love him, and I am just …. »_

 _« You're my best friend and I'm not going to let you down! » Teddy said, tears in her eyes. « I have known you for years. You have always been there for me. You help me be the person I am today. »_

 _« I won't allow it. I'm going to stay at Alex and Megan's. » She said. « Or I'll get back to my apartment. I can take care of myself. »_

 _« You're not going anywhere. If he's not able to understand that it was just an accident and that Annie died because of it and not of you, it means he isn't worth it. » Teddy said as she sat on Arizona's bed. « I love you Arizona and even if I know you can take care of yourself, you're going to need help for a while, and I'll be there. »_

 _« Teddy please... He's right. She wouldn't have been on that plane if I had listened to her. »_

 _« It was an accident Arizona. » Teddy whispered, trying to find the right words to get the guilt away. « And Henry and I were together for what? 8 months? It's nothing... I can find another boyfriend when I want. I'm Teddy Altman, you know what I'm saying? »_

 _Arizona laughed a little, still holding Teddy for life._

 _« I can find another Henry at every corner. But an Arizona Robbins, there's only one of them, and I don't want her out of my life. »_

…...

« It was an accident Arizona. It had nothing to do with you and you know that. » Callie said. She felt like she was going to say that sentence a lot. But what else could she do?

« It was an accident, but she shouldn't have been on that plane. I made her get in it... Never mind. »

Arizona turned her gaze to the ground and kept scratching again and again, nervously. It was what she had been thinking for years and Annie had made it very clear. That trip was her idea, she had insisted for Annie to join her in a hope to bring them closer and it had been a total disaster.

« Arizona, please, stop scratching. » Callie whispered.

As if her soft tone seemed to have an effect on her, Arizona stopped and raised her eyes. It was not a solution to hurt herself, but she didn't know what else to do. She hated that Annie still had that hold on her, but the guilt was too hard to handle.

« What would you have done a few weeks ago? » Callie asked the blonde.

« What? »

« If you have told all of this to another person a few weeks ago, what would have been your reaction? » Callie insisted.

« I don't know... » Arizona sighed. What it was that Callie wanted from her? It wasn't clear.

« Because you told me I made you want to stay here while you would have run away under other circumstances.

Arizona, taken aback by Callie's question tightened her grip on the napkin she had been nervously crumpling. She was right, she had made her change her mind.

« I would have found a way to avoid the conversation by finding another subject and making the other person uncomfortable. » Arizona explained.

« And that's what you've been trying with me, before. » Callie smiled.

« Yeah... »

« And today, you had the courage to tell your story, without running away. You faced it and you didn't run away. » Callie stated, never leaving unbelieving blue eyes. « It means you trust me. It means you are able to take your life in your hands and not undergoing it. »

« I don't know... » Arizona simply replied. « There are so many ghosts haunting me, so many events that made me the person I am. I don't think I can change that easy. And it doesn't change the mess happening to people around me, because of me. ».

« This is bulshit, and I hope that one day, you will believe it. » Callie smiled at her.

« I... I... » Arizona mumbled, lost in her own feelings. « I don't think it's a good idea for me to be here and get your hopes up. »

« I thought you were okay to get to know me and see where it might end... » Callie asked, feeling her heart pulse beating faster than usual.

« I don't know Callie... » Arizona whispered. « It's dark inside me. It's dark and cold and ugly. I wouldn't like to drag you into something you couldn't handle. »

« As I told you, I'm ready to take the chance. What I feel when I'm with you is real. »

« I know that. But I don't know who I am myself. I don't know what I want, I don't know what I am going to do with my life. It's worse than to live day to day. I have no prospect at all, professionally or anything else. » Arizona said sadly. « I'm kind of dead inside. But it's... »

« You have a project. You have the trial, you have to found your way back to your friends. It's already something, don't you think? » Callie tried to make Arizona realize she was evolving.

« You have no idea Callie... »

« About what? » The brunette asked.

« You are so sure of everything, you even managed to make me feel something... » Arizona said in a cracking tone.

« We can move forward, together. I am not going to give up until I know you are better. » Callie stated. « What do we have to lose? We might grow old together or just be friends. It might just be a fling or something stronger. But I want to try, no matter what you think can affect me. I'm a big girl, I can take care of myself. I'm not afraid by all the burdens you are handling. »

Callie received a gasp in answer and a desperate gaze from Arizona. She was the confident one right now when Arizona was scared of herself.

« What if I hurt you? » Arizona worried. It had happened so many times that Callie couldn't be safe around her.

« Why would you hurt me? »

« Because I hurt people I love and I don't even notice it. » Arizona précised. « Terrible friend, remember... »

« I'm pretty terrible myself... » Callie joked carefully, one more time scrutinizing Arizona's reaction discretely.

And she succeeded, Arizona smiled, at last. A beautiful dimpled smile popped and that was enough for her.

« Maybe we can go to my place to have a last drink... » a confident Callie ventured. « Just a drink and talk... »

« I wasn't thinking about anything else. » Arizona smiled. « But are you sure? »

« Well I have been to your place already, so yeah, let's go to mine. It's not so far. I'll drive you to your hotel after. »

…...

 _« Why? » Alex asked his friend. « Why after all she's done to you, are you getting back with her? It's been years Arizona... »_

 _« I have never judged your girlfriend, so leave me alone. She changed Alex. She's not the same Annie I met when I was in med school. And we've been friends for a while, so I know she has changed. »_

 _« Arizona, you dated her for two years and she almost kept you away from your friends, not to mention Tim. you know he's going to kick her ass if he saw her with you! »_

 _« Don't you think I know that Alex? She was jealous, irrationally possessive, but she changed now. And Tim doesn't need to know about that... He's across the world right now he had other things to care about. »_

 _« And what about being a control freak? An annoying bitch who wanted your friends away from you? »_

 _« Shut up! » Arizona yelled in annoyance._

 _« Why should he shut up? » a voice made them both turned to the hallway._

 _« It's your fault Altman! » Alex said, throwing his charts on the nurse's station._

 _« What? »_

 _Arizona looked at Teddy with an apologetic look as Alex walked away without turning back._

 _« What is his problem again? » the taller woman asked._

 _« Nothing, he's mad at me... »_

 _« Why? »_

 _Knowing she was about to receive a moralizing speech from Teddy, Arizona sighed._

 _« I kind of told him I am seeing someone. »_

 _« Hey, that's great! » Teddy said happily. « So why is he mad? »_

 _« Because it's Annie... »_

 _« Annie as in Annie, the girl you dumped what, 5 years ago because she hated us all? »_

 _« Teddy... »_

 _« Are you serious Arizona? » Teddy surprisingly asked. « That girl made you cut ties with everyone! »_

 _« She changed okay! I'm not stupid, I wouldn't have asked her out without getting to know her before. »_

 _« It's a bad idea Arizona... » Teddy interjected. « I don't want you to lose yourself again. »_

…...

For the second time, the walk until Callie's apartment had been quiet and tender, hand in hand, the two of them had left the restaurant.

But Arizona was really more nervous than she thought she would be. She was about to enter Callie's apartment and it was a really intimate step.

Callie hadn't thought about that. She had genuinely offered Arizona a drink at her place to end the evening in a more private area where they would be alone, but without any inappropriate thought though.

As they reached the building where her apartment was, Callie felt Arizona's hand slipping away from her. She tightened the grab to prevent her to let go, and looked at her.

Arizona wasn't really comfortable. The area was clearly wealthy and it wasn't the kind of place she was used to being in.

« Hey Dr. Torres. » A tall man greeted her as she opened the door of the building.

« Hi Will. » Callie politely replied. « Have a good night. »

Arizona, not holding Callie's hand anymore was following the brunette without a word in that modern building.

« That was Will, he's the building's keeper. » Callie explained as Arizona seemed to question who that man could be.

Arriving at the elevator's door, Callie pushed the buttons and met anxious blue gaze wandering everywhere.

« Are you okay? » She asked, receiving a simple nod in return. Arizona was tense and she didn't know why.

As the doors opened and they entered in, Callie couldn't help but smirk which made Arizona to more nervous.

« What? » She asked as the brunette seemed to think about something special.

« Nothing... It's just... Elevators, you know... »

« No I don't... » Arizona replied, not guessing Callie's between the lines talking as they arrived on the 5th floor.

« Nothing... » Callie said, a little disappointed. « It's just right there. »

She pointed to a blue door. « 502, that's mine. » She smiled at Arizona, grabbing the keys in her purse and opening the door.

« Make yourself comfortable, I'm going to serve us a glass of wine. » Callie said, leading Arizona in the living room. « I'll be right back. »

Arizona walked around the room, looking everywhere. It was a big room, modernly decorated. Everything perfectly fit together, the color tone, the furniture. She wasn't used to this kind of environment but she could appreciate it.

Next to the giant flat screen TV were picture frames on the wall. It was a really traditional thing regarding the rest of the decoration, but she smiled when she saw it. It gave the apartment a little warmer aspect.

« That's Aria, Enrique and me. » Callie said, approaching with the glasses in her hands. « We were dressed like that for our uncle's wedding. Normally, we were dressed like the other kids. »

She wanted Arizona to know she wasn't taking advantage of her parent's wealth. It was not something she was ashamed of, it was a part of her life, but she hated when it faked her relationship with people.

« You really look like your sister. » Arizona said, accepting the drink and smiling at the brunette who scooted closer to her.

« Yeah, I've been told. Maybe that's why my ex-husband left me for her. »

It was said without bitterness, maybe a tiny hint of sadness, and Arizona felt the need to support her and put her hand on her shoulder, looking kindly at Callie.

« I admire you. I wouldn't have been able to forgive them. » Arizona confessed.

« It took me time, don't get me wrong. A long time. But when I realized my relationship with George was non reciprocal, it was clear I've been blinded. » Callie said, pointing her finger to another picture. « Look at them, they are happy together, they have a beautiful family. And I love those two so much! I am the cool Auntie Callie! »

Arizona look closer and Callie was right, George, Aria and their kids seemed to be the perfect family. But what surprised her was George himself. He was the typical next door guy you wouldn't notice until he bumped into you. Callie was so incredibly beautiful that a guy like that seemed transparent in front of her.

But realizing that made her think about what she would look like by Callie's side.

Noticing the blonde lingering eyes on the pictures, Callie understood what she was thinking about.

« I know what you're thinking. » Callie said, turning her gaze to Arizona who gulped. « You're thinking that George and I weren't a matched couple. »

« I wouldn't... »

« I know you are because everybody around us kept telling me that. And in retrospect, it's totally true. I was taller than him, I was more talkative and confident. I was almost suffocating him. » Callie explained, laughing at memories. « I don't really know if I loved him in fact. I wanted to be in love and we got along well, so I think I pushed him a little to be my boyfriend. And then his father died and he was depressed. So he asked me to marry him, without wanting it. I think he wanted his mother to be happy after that tragic event, so he did that. It was stupid. I was stupid. »

« It doesn't change the fact that you found the strength to forgive him. » Arizona said, her eyes softened by Callie's compassion.

« I had to. She is my only sister. We are a family. » Callie explained. « We had already lost Enrique, I didn't want my Parents to lose another child by choosing a side. And even if my father doesn't like George, he's still working on it, for his grandkids. »

« I think I can understand why he doesn't like that guy. »

« It was way before all that mess happened! » Callie laughed again. « He had never liked him since the day he met him. He thought he was weak and unambitious. He's just a general surgeon in a little hospital in Florida. He is not looking for money or fame. He just wants to be happy with his wife and kids and do his job. My father thinks he is kind of a loser. »

Arizona swallowed hard. If that George was a looser according to Callie's father, what would he think about her?

« So here are your parents? » Arizona asked, trying to hide her embarrassment. She looked at the pictures as Callie smiled.

« Yeah, this is Carlos and Lucia, my parents. They are amazing. » Callie's smile was big. « They have always been supportive, for everything. Even when it came to the sensitive subject like my messy love life, or my sexuality. Even if my father was a little upset in the beginning, he has always been understanding and he never judged me. So did my mother. I love and respect them very much. »

Realizing the conversation had been about her since they arrived, Callie offered Arizona to take a seat on the couch. She didn't want Arizona to think she had invited her to talk only about herself.

So they did and she sat next to her, not too far but close enough for their knees to touch. Arizona was still looking all around. Something was on her mind and Callie wanted to know what.

« Are you sure you are okay with being here? » Callie asked her carefully.

« Yeah, I'm fine. » Arizona replied shyly, as if she was ashamed of something.

« I'm sorry to bother you with all those stories, it's not important. »

« They are your family, they're a part of you, and so it's important. » Arizona nodded.

« That's true. But I don't know, you seem uncomfortable. » Callie stated. « Is everything okay? »

« I am still not sure why you're interested in me... » Arizona said. « But I'm flattered, really. I mean you're so beautiful, and caring. »

« And? »

« And, I don't want to mess with you. » Arizona whispered.

« You're not messing with me. We're having a lovely night, talking about anything and everything. What's more to... »

« I have a sister. » Arizona said, cutting Callie off. « A half-sister. And I've seen my mother once. »

Callie opened her eyes big at the revelation. Was it the talk about her family which pushed her to tell her that? Was it why she seemed upset?

« I lied to you, and I'm sorry. »

« Okay... » Callie said, processing the last piece of information she got.

« When you asked me those questions, you know, when we were playing that stupid game, I lied to you about that. And that's all. » Arizona lamely explained.

Callie didn't know if she should keep the subject in the conversation or avoid it. But it was Arizona who had introduced it, so it meant she wanted to talk about it.

« You want to talk about it? »

« She's younger. My half-sister. She's born from my mother and her second husband. And we didn't knew she existed. » Arizona explained. « One day Tim and I received that letter from social services telling us that she was looking for us. They gave us her phone number. I was pissed at first but my brother was thrilled. He wanted to meet her, and I didn't. So he had done that on his own. She was a teenager at the time and it was her who wanted to know us, and not our mother. That's why Tim accepted her request. »

« Did you meet her? » Callie asked, sincerely interested in that revelation.

« I met her twice with Tim. I didn't like her. But after his death, I tried to get to know her. She had begun her med school and she was devastated by Tim's death, almost more than me. So I cut her off for a few years. I didn't want to share sad memories with her about a brother she barely knew. »

« So you're no more in touch with her... »

« After my accident and my recovery, I took a job at Teddy and Alex's hospital. She was an intern there. So she was always sticking around, looking at me from far. She was annoying... » Arizona said. « But little by little, we became closer. We went out together some times. And I learned to like her. »

« That's great. » Callie said carefully, waiting for the on-coming possible drama. Every news from Arizona ended tragically, so maybe this one would too.

« Her name is April and she's a good girl. » Arizona continued. « And when I left, I let her down like I left Teddy and Alex behind. »

« And you know where she is? Is she okay? »

« Weirdly she is. I mean, Alex told me my disappearance had been hard on her, but she is still working at the hospital apparently. »

Callie's hand was on Arizona's thigh when she finished her story, and the blonde looked at it with a surprised glance.

« I'm sorry! » Callie immediately apologized, fearing she had done something unforgivable.

« No, no it's okay. » Arizona replied, putting her own hand on Callie's. « I wanted you to know that. »

« Thank you. » Callie awkwardly said. She was really relieved that Arizona could talk to her.

« And when I saw our mother, it was at her place. I opened the door and she was there, in front of me. She didn't know I was there. I didn't know what else to do so I closed the door at her face. »

Callie was listening to Arizona when the blonde stood up from the couch suddenly.

« I'm sorry. I wanted to be honest, and I... » Arizona stopped. « You're going to think I'm crazy, and you will be totally right. Nothing makes any sense... »

Rubbing her eyes anxiously, Arizona was rambling one more time and it was making her more uncomfortable than she was already. She was acting clumsily and she knew it.

« All that, it's just...I better go. I'm sorry to waste your time. »

She was about to walk away when Callie grabbed her hand. « Don't go. » She simply said.

« They are your family, they're a part of you, and so it's important. » Callie quoted. « And you talked to me, openly, about a part of your life that is not so simple, and I like that. »

« I am really trying to be normal with you Callie. I'm really trying. » Arizona pleaded.

« You don't have to force yourself Arizona. Just be who you have been since we met. » Callie smiled « That's because how you've been than, I have wanted to know more about you. »

« I am always so awkward and so uneasy to stand. » Arizona whispered. « I can't imagine why I am making you wanting to know me. There's nothing inside! »

She pointed at her heart then her head and closed her eyes. « I feel like I'm just a shell. No, I am an empty shell. That's what I've been trying to do for years, restricting any kind of social relationship and human interaction. It was easier, you know, not to care about anyone, not getting involved. That meant no hurt and no hurting anyone. I am not even talking about romantic relationships, for me it was totally over. »

« You're young and pretty, how can you think that? » Callie asked with a smirk. She wanted to lead the conversation in another way.

She sat back on the couch and taped the seat next to her, inviting Arizona to come back to her place. The blonde rolled her eyes, not because of Callie's wheedling manners were bothering her, but because she knew the brunette was doing everything she could to make her comfortable and she couldn't help but find it amazingly cute and caring.

She walked back to the couch and sat slowly, wincing a little at the friction bruises she felt on her stump.

« I'm sorry, we walked a lot tonight. » Callie said, noticing Arizona's hand massaging he leg. « I should have thought about it. »

« No, it's good, really... » Arizona said, still rubbing her stump. « It's something important for me. »

« What? » Callie asked.

« The fact that you don't think about my disability. » Arizona explained. « It's good to be considered like everybody else, you know. »

And it was something important for Arizona. She was an amputee but it didn't mean she was less able than anybody else.

After her amputation, she had a hard time accepting constraints that the loss of her leg involved. She had worked hard to walk with her prosthetic and to get back to a normal life as fast as it was possible. But she was dealing with her emotional troubles at the same time and it had slowed her recovery.

The acceptance of that new appearance had taken time but she was at peace with it now, knowing what she could do and what she couldn't. But the fact that her disability was taking thought in a lot of daily activities was the most annoying part of it.

« I have no problem with my prosthetic and the fact that I have one leg. I can joke about it, I can let people around look at it. But I don't accept pity or special treatment. » She stated, proudly. « I am almost the same person I was before, minus a leg. »

« I know that. And it's important. » Callie reassured her.

« That's the point, you know it, and you're still around. » Arizona said.

« Oh, no... Don't tell me we're going to have that kind of conversation... » Callie grumbled.

« What? »

« Don't tell me you're thinking that it could disgust me or anything... » Callie said, almost upset Arizona could think about that.

« It should. Because stumps, Velcro straps and plastic sockets aren't exactly sexy... »

« You are not characterized only by your leg Arizona... » Callie stated. « You are so much more. You have amazing eyes, a wonderful smile and those little things here... »

She reached her hand to Arizona's cheek and slowly stroked her dimples with her thumb, rolling it over the pale skin.

« I like them. I like them a lot. » Callie insisted, raising her second hand and mirroring her gesture on Arizona's other dimple.

« Callie it's not a good idea... » Arizona whispered, closing her eyes at the softness of the contact but her body tensing irredeemably.

As both her hands where now on Arizona's face, Callie scooted closer to her and naturally brushed their lips together in a chaste and tender kiss. There was no rush in it, just the will to feel closer to Arizona.

The blonde, first surprised, kissed Callie back, just as softly. Their lips perfectly connecting, she felt Callie's breath on her face and it's what made her pull away, not wanting to go further at that moment.

Pulling slowly away, Callie's finger still on her cheeks Arizona was smiling silly.

The two women reopened their eyes at the same time a few seconds later, wanting to keep the sweetness of the intimacy alive a little longer.

At that moment, everything was perfect.


	11. Sleepless in Seattle Part II

**AN : / Hey guys!**

 **Sorry for the late update, but here is the follow and the end of that first date.**

 **Thank you very much for the positive feedback. It's what keep me wanting to write.**  
 **I'm so disapointed in the story line of the show lately, and not only concerning Calzona... All the others character don't have interesting stories at all either.**  
 **And talking about Calzona... A custody battle, seriously...**  
 **I'm still thinking there's hope for a reunion, but it's really hard to keep my hopes up.**

 **The next chapter is almost done, so the next update will be sooner. And as usual, Shy Alien help me with my terrible english!**

 **Feel free to review. I love to know what you're thinking about the progress of the story. Reviews are needed ^^**

 **Flashbacks are in italic.**

 **I wish you a pleasant reading!**

...

 _And at that moment everything was perfect._

The silence in the apartment was soothing and for the first time in years Arizona was enjoying it. She had always been scared of the silence, she hated it. So she was usually talkative, perky. She usually listened to music when she was alone at her place, always needing some background noises. It was something she feared without really knowing why. But since the death of her father it had always been something hard to stand.

She remembered falling asleep by his side in that cold hospital room, Tim already sleeping in the nearest armchair. She was leaning against him, and she remembers his pale face, the blip of the breathing machine.

He had lost his struggle against the disease and she knew she was losing him.

When she woke up, he was cold and the machines were off. The nurses had let her and her brother quietly rest when he was passing away.

She had slept weirdly well that night and the silence reigning in that room had terrorized her.

It was quiet, too quiet and since then, she couldn't handle the silence.

But right now, it was perfect. The sweetness of Callie's lips was still making her body erupt in goose bumps and she had closed her eyes while Callie was still inches away, carrying her face in her hands.

« This is a good start... » Callie ventured, relieved when she noticed Arizona was smiling back at her.

« This is perfect. » Arizona whispered back slowly, her eyes still closed. « Why is everything so simple when you're here? »

Callie was taken aback when she saw a tear forming in the corner of the blonde's eyes. She gulped, and without hesitation wiped it away with her thumb as soon as it rolled on her cheek.

As Arizona was not moving or opening her eyes, she felt a little uncomfortable and she removed her hands off her face, trying to make her react.

And it worked because as soon as her hands left her face, Arizona opened her eyes in surprise. She was surprised by the end of the physical contact and by the feeling of the tears in her eyes. She didn't notice she was crying until she opened her eyes back.

A little nervous Callie recoiled lightly but tried to keep her calm.

« What? » Arizona anxiously asked, noticing Callie's nervousness.

« Nothing. » The brunette lied, sketching a weak an almost awkward smile.

Rubbing her eyes quickly in attempt to hide her tears, Arizona coughed a little to break the tension. What was happening here when everything was a dream a few seconds earlier? She felt like she was ruining everything one more time. It was her fault, she couldn't restrain her tears for a simple soft kiss. It was stupid.

« I'm sorry. » She mumbled. « I'm sorry... »

She moved away from Callie, putting her arms in front of her and shaking her head in fear. If something was wrong, it was because of her even if she didn't know exactly what was happening.

« What are you doing? » Callie asked, looking at the woman she just kissed, getting away from her.

« I'm sorry... » Arizona repeated nervously, her left hand on her forehead.

« Hey, hey! » Callie said urgently. « What's wrong? »

« I don't know. You pulled away and you... »

« Oh no! It's not that! » Callie replied, understanding what Arizona was thinking. « It's just the tears, in your eyes... It took me by surprise. »

« Oh... » Arizona gasped, almost in relief. But was Callie telling the truth? She wasn't sure about anything right now and she could feel her hands shaking.

« I wasn't expecting it, so I got surprised and you were not really reacting. »

Arizona's entire face wrinkled in shame. Her reaction had been inappropriate as usual but she hadn't even been able to restrain those freaking tears, and now Callie was uncomfortable.

« But I guess it means you liked it? » Callie ventured, scooting closer to Arizona who was now at the opposite side of the couch.

« I'm such an idiot... » Arizona mumbled, still upset to let her emotions overwhelmed her that bad. « I liked it. It was perfect. I shouldn't have reacted like that. »

« Hey, stop apologizing Arizona, I get it, it's okay! » Callie said, offering her a reassuring smile. It had been such a sweet moment that she understood Arizona's reaction in a way.

« Really? »

« Really! » Callie said, taking her hands in her own. « We've been talking about emotional events, and it is okay to cry. I can be really sensitive too and cry for no valuable reason some times. »

« But that's my whole problem. Nothing is goes the good way with me. I'm never doing what normal people do. I must be broken. »

« Maybe you are broken, but you can try to figure this out. » Callie reassured her.

« And what if I never get repaired? »

The tone Arizona used made the Latina grin. She was so sweet and vulnerable that she wanted to hold her forever in her arms, telling her everything would be okay.

« It doesn't matter. I already like you the way you are! »

…...

 _It was a usual, boring day since she had taken that job at the Good Samaritan a few weeks prior. She was living at Teddy's for the moment, but wanted to move on with her life, she was looking for an apartment to rent on her own._

 _After her physical re-education, she was totally independent, but she was still on edge emotionally, her reactions somehow unpredictable. But she was working on it and with Alex and Teddy's help, it was easier._

 _So after her day work, she was coming home after a detour at the grocery store. She was in the hallway when someone bumped into her, hard enough to make her fall on her ass, her grocery bags dropping to the ground at the same time._

 _« Oh my god! » the young woman who had caused the fall yelled. « I'm so sorry! »_

 _« It's okay... » Arizona mumbled, immediately checking her prosthetic, rolling her pants, making it visible._

 _« I was late for my night class... »_

 _« Well then, try to be more careful next time! » Arizona grumbled as the stranger gave her a hand to help her stand up. « It's not a big deal. »_

 _« I'm so sorry! » The girl repeated._

 _« What are you doing here if you're late for your night-class!? » Arizona told her. « Go! Go! Go! »_

 _« Are you sure you're okay? » The young woman worried._

 _« I'm fine. »_

 _« I'm Stephanie Edwards, I live at the end of the hallway. » She explained. « I've never seen you before. »_

 _« I'm crashing here, it's my friend's apartment. It's temporary. »_

 _« So I guess I might see you around. »_

…...

« And by the way, it's not what I wanted you to think. » Callie continued. « I initiated the kiss, and you answered it perfectly. »

Arizona blushed lightly but felt amazingly good. She was having a weird night, but not in a bad way. It was weird because she was opening her deepest wounds so easily to a woman she liked but whom she barely knew. And it wasn't hard or painful but better, it felt natural and even rescuing.

Callie was making her feel good and it was something she hadn't experienced in a long time. She was making her want to move forward. And she wasn't scared.

« Thank you... » Arizona whispered slowly.

« For what? »

« For everything. For your patience, for listening to me, for being here and not judging... »

« You don't have to thank me Arizona. And nobody judges you, you know. » Callie replied, trying to understand why Arizona was précising it.

« I know. But I grew up gay. I know what it is when people judge and stare. You lose your father and they stare, you lose your brother, your so called girlfriend and they stare. You're missing a leg and they stare. And they judge, and they look... » Arizona sighed, unable to end her sentence and telling herself she better shut up. She didn't want to bother Callie with moods. She didn't deserve that.

« Well apparently, I've been staring at you too but not in that kind of way. » Callie confessed with a playful grin. « Because some of my friends and colleagues have noticed it. »

« Maybe... But the way you stare feels very very good. »

It was now Callie's turn to blush. This woman was so amazing in her eyes. She had been through so much and she was still here.

Of course she had some bumps, some issues, but it didn't matter.

She was capable of getting over it and that was the only thing Callie wanted to be aware of.

« So I guess it's okay if we do it again? » Callie ventured, not thinking about doing it immediately but looking to see if Arizona was on the same page as her.

« I'd love that. » the blonde nodded with a beautiful dimpled smile on her face.

« And what do you want to do now? » Callie asked, reassured by her words but not wanting to put any pressure on her shoulders. « You, maybe, want to go back to your hotel? »

« Oh... » Arizona opened her mouth in disappointment. « I think you're right. »

« You don't have to if you don't want. I was just saying that because I know you had a long day. » Callie rambled. « But I'd like it if you'll stay. »

Biting her lips in amusement Arizona couldn't prevent a little smirk.

What was making that amazing Woman cuter than she already was? That almost clumsiness was so adorable.

« We could watch a movie... » Arizona proposed, her head pointing at the giant flat screen TV.

« That's a great idea. Or maybe a TV show? » Callie said as she grabbed the controller, the fastest she had ever grabbed it, still a little goofy. She put the TV on and looked for Netflix.

« Great. I don't really know what's trendy lately... » Arizona confessed. « I will let you choose. »

« You don't like TV shows? » Callie asked as she navigated through the catalog.

« I love them, but lately I had other priorities... » Arizona coughed a little, but she was glad that Callie wasn't thinking about her homelessness. She was really considering her as her equal and it was really gratifying.

« Right... I forgot... » She gave Arizona an apologetic look before turning back to the TV.

« Oh, that! » Arizona suddenly sat straighter on the couch. « I heard about it! »

« Oh, yeah it's funny. » Callie said. « I saw the first season. »

« Mind watching it twice? » Arizona asked with the most adorable puppy look.

« Not at all! Let's do it! Orange is the new black, here we go! »

She put the show on and noticed that Arizona had taken advantage and had come a little closer to her. The brunette swallowed as their thighs touched each other, Arizona visibly thrilled to see the show more than to spend the rest of the evening with her.

« I spend some time in a shelter last winter and some girls couldn't stop talking about it. » She said with excitement.

« Yeah, it's pretty addictive and it's atypical. » Callie said, as she put the remote control on the coffee table. « Just like you. »

Arizona didn't react immediately. In Callie's mind it was supposed to be a joke and to make her smile. So when she noticed the lack of reactivity, she thought she had said something she shouldn't have and it stressed her out.

« It's not what you... »

She was stopped in her speech by Arizona who suddenly grabbed her hand and rested her head on her shoulder without a word.

It was again like an instinctive movement and Callie's body tensed at the sudden action but quickly relaxed as Arizona slowly rubbed her cheek against her upper arm.

Mirroring her action, Callie rested her cheek on Arizona's hair and it felt simple and natural.

Feeling the need of physical connection, Callie confidently took Arizona's hand which made the shorter woman move a little.

Callie took the opportunity to wrap her arm around the blonde's shoulder, and scooted closer.

Everything was done without exchanging a look and without a word, the both of them trying to focus on the TV.

Arizona took a deep breath when she felt Callie's strong arm embracing her. It was almost the same emotion she felt a few hours before when she had took her in her arms.

It felt safe and incredibly good. It had been so long since she had felt that way. And here they were, on this improvised date, quietly settled and everything was perfect.

It was like in a dream. Callie was still venturing a little, always expecting Arizona to react in an unexpected way, and Arizona always fearing to do something inappropriate.

But they were adjusting to each other pretty quickly, naturally.

« I think your pocket is shaking... » Callie suddenly said as Arizona's phone vibrated.

« What? » the blonde asked, totally lost in a comfy bubble Callie had dragged her in. It took her a few seconds to understand what Callie was telling her.

« I think it's your phone... »

« Oh... »

Arizona sat straight on the edge of the couch and took out her phone from her jeans pocket.

She always forgot she had it, but paradoxically, she always had it with her.

« I don't know who it can be. No one ever calls me on it... »

« I did, once... » Callie teased. « Answer it and you'll know. »

Nodding Arizona stood up and took the call, a little nervous. It was late and she was sure it wouldn't be Alex or Teddy. Alex had made it very clear they needed a little time before coming back to her. So it must be a wrong number.

« Hello? »

« Hi... » The voice said. « Is that really you? »

« Who is it? »

« Yeah, I'm sorry. It's Stephanie. »

…...

 _« You think she's going to make it? » Arizona nervously asked Teddy as the two of them were waiting in their car._

 _« Of course. She had worked so hard for it. Thanks to you. »_

 _« I have done nothing here. I just helped her study. » Arizona stated. « She deserves it so badly. »_

 _Teddy smiled. Arizona was so stressed it was almost touching. Those two had so much in common and some kind of fate had made them meet each other._

 _It had been like an evidence. They were at a sensible time in their life and they needed something or someone to help them pull everything together._

 _« Stop being so nervous Mama Bear! » Teddy teased as Arizona was checking her phone for the hundredth timed. « There she is! »_

 _Arizona got out of the car in a rush and walked toward Stephanie. The young woman was apparently upset but no one could say if it was in a good way or bad._

 _« So... »_

 _« They're taking me back... » Stephanie replied, emotionless._

 _« Oh my god! That's great! » Arizona yelled hugging her protégé to congratulate her. « I knew it. You're going to be an amazing surgeon Stephanie! »_

…...

« Oh my god... » Arizona gasped, her voice cracking, putting her hand in front of her mouth. The reaction made Callie stand up immediately. She approached Arizona and tried to meet her gaze.

Noticing she wasn't really reacting or talking, she led her back to the couch and invited her to sit. Whoever was calling, it must be important.

« I heard Dr. Karev talking about you. And well, he gave me your number. » Stephanie explained. « And I wanted you to know that I'm happy that you are okay. I don't need you to talk or explain or whatever. I … I'm just happy you are okay and that we have found you. »

Still gasping and not knowing if she would cry or smile, Arizona was breathing heavily, and looked for Callie's hand in support.

Callie immediately took it and smiled, happy to be by Arizona's side even if she had no clue about who was calling.

« I'm sorry Steph... » Arizona managed to mumble.

« No it's okay. You don't have to be. » The younger woman said. « I will never judge you. If you have did it, it means you needed to. And don't worry about me. I am okay. I am an intern now! And it's awesome! »

Arizona couldn't help but laugh at Stephanie using her favorite word.

« Because I taught you well and because I am Awesome! » she said, all her tension going away.

« And I am really happy to hear your voice... » Stephanie said. « I would have never made it here without you. »

« I... You helped me a lot too. You cannot imagine how much. » Arizona confessed, holding Callie's hand firmly.

Callie was sitting by her side, her other hand on her back, smiling to see Arizona talking with a person from her past life apparently.

« And I hope I'll see you soon. »

« I hope too. » Arizona answered, turning her attention to Callie.

« I have to go, I was on a break but I am on call. » Stephanie said. « It was great to hear from you. »

« Good luck. » Arizona replied as the conversation ended.

It took her a few seconds to come back to Callie who was still holding her hand. It had been a short conversation but everything was said. Stephanie was okay, she wasn't mad and she had continued her journey without failing.

« It was Stephanie... » Arizona said with a nostalgic grin.

« Okay. » Callie replied, obviously not knowing who Stephanie could be.

« I'm sorry it interrupted us... » Arizona apologized.

« It's okay. » Callie replied softly. « You want to talk about it? »

« She's... a friend. But it's not. » Arizona tried to explain when Callie noticed she was apparently too tired to talk about her.

« We can go back to the episode if you want. » Callie proposed, not wanting Arizona to feel obliged to talk about her past one more time.

Nodding, Arizona put her phone back in her pocket and Callie put the show back on, immediately wrapping back her arm around Arizona's shoulder like nothing ever happened; and the blonde curled closer to her as if it had always been her place.

Smiling at how easy it had been to take their position back, Callie totally relaxed, watching the following episode distracted. Looking over at Arizona quietly leaning against her, almost cuddling, her head on her shoulder was more than what it took to make her happy.

She was a little taken aback when the blonde pushed her body a little closer again and wrapped an arm around her stomach.

The two of them were settled comfily on Callie's expensive designer couch as if they were used to it and it was enough.

It was enough to relax Arizona after that complicated day and it was enough to reassure Callie it might be the beginning of something incredible.

…...

 _« Who is that girl she's been talking about? » Alex asked Teddy as they settled at a table, waiting for Arizona who was ordering the drinks. « Is it her new chick? »_

 _« No! Not at all! » Teddy rolled her eyes. « She's helping her. It's my neighbor's niece. She started med school last year, but she had some problems, so she quit. »_

 _« And so what? What's the deal? Why is she always with her? »_

 _« She wanted to go back to school, so Arizona offered to help her. »Teddy explained._

 _« Is there something you're not telling me? »_

 _« Well, the girl quit because she was having some drug problems. She had been in a car accident and she got addicted to painkillers. »_

 _« Are you serious? Do you think it's the kind of person she needs to meet right now? » Alex said getting mad. « She's barely back on her feet, she doesn't need some whining junky dragging her in a rabbit hole. »_

 _« They're helping each other Alex. Arizona needed some kind of challenge. Her new job doesn't seem to excite her enough, she is still on edge. But since she met Stephanie, she felt useful, I think. It might not be the best thing, but she's smiling again, and when I get home, they are working and laughing. » Teddy explained. « And she's not talking about Annie anymore... »_

…...

As the ending of the episode appeared on the screen, Callie winced thinking about Arizona changing her position. She had took the risk to stroke her arm while they were watching the TV, fearing as usual that Arizona would react weirdly. But she didn't and Callie had loved doing it.

Stretching her body, Arizona indeed sat straighter and so followed Callie. She could have stayed like that for hours, but every good thing has to come to an end.

« So, do you like it? » She asked with an already nostalgic feeling to see Arizona out of her embrace.

« Yeah. It's funny. » Arizona said sleepily and pensively.

Noticing something seemed to be bothering her, Callie turned her body toward her and rubbed a circle on her forearm.

« Are you okay? You want to talk about it? »

« I am okay, thanks. » Arizona said. « It's just I'm a little surprised after Stefanie's call. »

« Is she a friend? »

« Yeah, she's a friend. » Arizona nodded as a smile appeared finally on her face. « We helped each other through a hard time, but we lost contact a few month before I left. »

« So apparently she still cares for you. »

« Yeah. She's a good person. Not like me. » Arizona stated, making Callie raise her eyebrow. « And I think I should go now. »

Even if she had enjoyed cuddling with Callie, she had been thinking about Stephanie and how she had let her down. She had no one but she and she had ran away without taking care of her.

But she had managed to realize her dream and had made it through med school, being an intern now by her own.

Stephanie had succeeded when she had bailed and surrendered.

« As you like it. » Callie said, standing up too and grabbing her jacket, not wanting to push Arizona too far.

« I'm going to take a cab. » Arizona said, stopping Callie in her track.

« You don't have to. I can drive you home. »

« Thanks for the offer, but I prefer to take a cab. » Arizona insisted.

Callie nodded in silence, not knowing really what to do. Arizona seemed to have stepped back from where they were and she didn't like that. It was really frustrating, but she had warned her so she couldn't blame her.

« Don't worry, it has nothing to do with you Callie. » She tried to reassure her. « I'm just tired and I need to be alone. »

« As you like it. » Callie repeated, almost with defeat. « I'm gonna call you a cab. »

She grabbed her phone and dialed the number and was about to push the call button when Arizona reached closer and put her hand on the phone.

First surprised by the unexpected gesture, Callie froze and looked into those dark blue eyes which were staring at her.

« Can I hug you? » Arizona asked out of nowhere, bringing a relieved half smile on Callie's face.

« Sure... »

Opening her arms, she immediately wrapped Arizona in a strong embrace.

« I'm sorry, I realize how weird I am. » Arizona whispered as her hands traced soft circles on Callie's back. « I want to try it. To be with you. »

As Arizona's face was resting on her shoulder, Callie felt her body weakened under the emotion. She tightened the embrace, holding the blonde for life.

« I want to try with you, but if I happen to hurt you, for anything, I want you to tell me. » Arizona précised. « I want to get rid of the darkness of my past, it's time. »

« Let's not talk about some hypothetical hurt now. » Callie said as she pulled a little away. « And if you're ready, I am too. »

Arizona smiled at her as she raised her head. That was it. A wonderful woman was ready to start something with her. It was the beginning of something.

« I can't promise anything tough. » She said, her gaze dropping on the floor.

« I'm not asking for anything yet. We'll see where we will go. » Callie said, taking Arizona's chin and forced her a little to meet her eyes. « And I'm going to drive you to your hotel room now. »


	12. One last reminder

**AN:/ Hey guys!**

 **Here is chapter 12!**  
 **It's a long one, dealing with a person from Callie's surroundings that Arizona met before.**

 **I really hope you'll enjoy it.**  
 **Shy Alien still help me beig the amazing beta she is.**

 **I receive a few MP asking not to stop the stories I'm writting because of Calzona whereabout in the show.**  
 **Don't worrt, I began writting las year only, And Calzona was alraedy broken up, so it won't change anything.**

 **Sorry for the late updates in the other FF. I will do my best to do it, but my schedule is totaly out of control lately between work and other things I have goin on.**

 **Whatever... Thanks for the support and reviews. They are always wanted and needed.**  
 **They made my days!**

 **I wish you a pleasant reading and see you soon!**

 **Let me know what you think about the way the story go!**

 _ **As usual, Flashbacks are in italic.**_

...

It was another day in the lab and even if she liked her job, her mind wasn't really focused at the moment. She was dreaming about her … whatever Arizona was to her. She was happy and serene at the same time, and it was a strange mix of feelings that she wasn't used to experiencing.

But right now she was in her lab, sitting next to Jackson Avery and she had to stop smiling silly and get all her attention on what she was doing.

They were working on the last details of the sensitive socket Arizona was about to test. Today was just the fitting test, not the concrete and detailed working test with the prosthetic.

The young man was the technical specialist in the trial. He had been working with Callie for months and they were doing an amazing job together.

They understood each other without words and they respected each other deeply.

« I think that we're good here. » Jackson said, smiling proudly. It was the biggest project of his young career and he was eager to see the results.

« Yeah, for now... » Callie grumbled. « There is still a lot of work left to do though. »

« Of course, but today is an important step. » Jackson continued. « And I finally get to meet the famous Dr. Robbins. I'm the only one who hasn't met her yet. »

« She's great. » Callie replied, the goofy smile back on her face.

Of course Arizona was great. She was better than great. She was smart, and funny, and amazingly beautiful. But she was also strong and vulnerable at the same time.

But that was not the point. Today was about the trial, and they had to remain professional. Arizona had promised to stop her teasing and she had also said she would let everybody do their jobs in normal condition. She seemed soothed too and she was totally into the process of the trial.

« Just great? » Jackson smirked.

« What? » Callie asked, after being outed from her daydream.

« She's just great? Because Jo said she was talkative, Bailey says she's annoying and Shepherd says she's sarcastic. And you're just saying she's great»

« Well, you could say that. » Callie replied, standing up from her chair and taking her phone from her lab coat pocket.

She was checking for any news from Arizona but didn't see anything. But she knew she would be here. She had promised her, so there was no need for useless drama. Right?

« Is everything okay? » Jackson asked her. He knew her well enough to see she was anxious.

« Yes, of course. I'm just a little stressed about that socket, I really hope everything is going to be fine. We've been working so hard on it and I don't want things to get delayed more than they already have. »

« Everything is going to be perfect, don't worry. » the young man reassured his colleague, which was surprising because she was the one who usually motivated him when they were desperately looking for a tester.

They were both totally focused on the computer screen when the doors of the lab opened and Jo entered, followed by Arizona.

« We're here. » The fellow surgeon said with a big smile. « Dr. Torres, can you have a look at this please? »

She handed Callie a tab with some scans on it. It was a patient they were following for a week with a tricky surgery to come. « It's not a good time Wilson, we're working here. »

Sighing, Jo sat on the nearest stool and put the tablet on the desk loudly, making her boss raise her head. As her eyes met Callie's, Arizona felt the pressure and the tension her … Whatever Callie was to her, was feeling right now, and she tried to cheer her up by giving her the most adorable dimpled smile. The ortho surgeon inhaled deeply, a bright smile appearing on her face. She was here and everything was going to be easy.

« Why are you making that face? Don't tell me you're still thinking I'm going to run away from that... » Arizona said, pointing at the socket Jackson had in his hands.

«What? No, not at all! » Callie grumbled. Arizona was in a playful mood apparently, but she didn't know for sure if it was real or fake. « I'm just eager to work! »

Witnessing the scene, Jackson cleared his throat to remind them of his presence.

« Oh, yes, I'm sorry... Arizona, this is Jackson Avery, our robotic engineer. » Callie introduced her colleague.

« So you're the one who is building the robot leg? » Arizona asked, reaching Jackson and extending her hand towards him.

« Nice to meet you! » He said, shaking Arizona's hand. « Technically, I am just making what Dr. Torres is telling me. I help her with the technical aspect but all the ideas and plans are hers. She's a genius! »

« Well I am not the only one working on it. It's a team work! » Callie said, a light blush on her cheeks after Jackson's statement.

« Yeah, she's a genius! » Arizona quoted the young man. « And I'm sure it's just the beginning! »

She looked straight in Callie's eyes, giving her a sincere and lovely smile which made Callie blush more.

This woman was going to be the death of her. A simple smile and she felt those butterflies tickling her stomach.

« Thanks... » She mumbled, turning her back to Arizona and Jackson to avoid their looks of admiration on her. « Wilson, give me those scans quickly! »

…...

The socket fitting had been a quick. It was well adjusted and Arizona was now talking about technical aspects with Jackson Avery.

The young man was really skilled even if Arizona didn't understand every word he was using when it came to the tools and items he and Callie used to create that bionic leg.

He was also really caring and easy to talk to, always asking Arizona if she needed anything or taking the time to explain every step of what he had been working on for months.

They were both alone in the lab, Callie had been paged for an emergency and the session was over. Jackson had all the data he needed to work on the rest of the leg for the first real test which would occur 5 days later. He found Arizona sympathetic, he was actually enjoying extending the moments spent in her company.

« So I guess you're free to go Dr. Robbins. » He said with a big smile which made his playful eyes look brighter.

« I Guess I am. » The blonde said as she put her prosthetic back. « It was really instructive and a pleasure to meet you. Oh and you can call me Arizona. I'm not a doctor anymore. »

« What do you mean? »

« The truth. » Arizona simply stated, standing up and grabbing her grey hoodie. « I haven't practiced for months. And I don't have any job anyway. So technically, there's no reason to call me a Doctor. »

She was just finishing her sentence when the lab doors opened and Callie entered.

Arizona turned her head and smiled. Callie had goofy facial expressions as she thought she was interrupting some important conversation, not really knowing what to say to excuse herself.

« You're back already? » Arizona welcomed her, still smiling.

« Am I interrupting something? » the brunette ventured.

« Nothing, we were done. And anyway I have to go. I have a meeting at Seattle Pres'. » Jackson explained, packing his stuff and walking to the doors. « I will see you in two days Dr. Torres and you in 5 Arizona. »

He nodded and left the room, Callie following the interaction he had with her … She frowned and thought to herself that she didn't really know what to call Arizona. She was not a friend, not a lover, not her girlfriend...

« So what was your emergency? » Arizona outed her from daydreaming.

« It was not as serious as Owen thought. » Callie said, realizing Arizona didn't know who Owen was. « I mean Dr. Hunt. You met him the other day, he's a counsellor in the trial. »

« Yes, I remember him, seems like a nice guy. »

« He is. » Callie replied. « And the patient was a car accident victim, but she didn't need surgery for her broken arm, so I came back sooner than expected. »

« That's great, you finally have some time to rest. You've been pretty busy today. » Arizona said, looking at the gorgeous woman in front of her.

« Yeah, that's great. I have a lot of charts to review so I better do that. » She said, her throat dryer than usual. She tried to think of some good excuse, to spend a few moment with her... her whatever Arizona was to her. But nothing seemed to come to her mind but that fake excuse.

« Okay. » Arizona replied, visibly as embarrassed as Callie was. « So I think I'm going to go back to the hotel. »

She looked at Callie who was inhaling deeply, her mouth half open, stuck between awkwardness and shyness.

It was so unlike her usual behavior that Callie was totally stuck. Arizona seemed open to spend time with her but was waiting for a sign from her and it didn't come.

Callie was usually ingenious when it came to seduction. Or she used to be. But her last relationship with Erica Han had taken her mojo away and she wasn't that open, flirty and confident woman she was before.

« I will see you later. » Arizona said with a fake smile on her face.

From her side, she was waiting for Callie to propose something because she had been the one taking the first steps since the beginning, and she was not really good at it.

Even before Annie or during the few years they were apart, she wasn't known to be a real seducer. She was regularly hit on by women when she hung out with her friends, but when she was attracted to somebody, she was a mess, unable to act normally.

After everything she had been through, it hadn't make things easier for her.

« Okay... » Callie mumbled batting her lip in frustration. Two days ago she had spent a wonderful night with Arizona, even if they had just kissed twice. And now here she was, worse than a teenager, afraid to ask the person she had a crush on, anything.

Arizona was walking away slowly, hoping for Callie to eventually say something, each step making her more frustrated than before. What was happening? Did she say something she shouldn't have? It was more than possible, she was so awkward lately than it had to be her fault.

She stopped and sighed, realizing that they were both idiots, trying to do everything they can for the other to feel comfortable, and it was going to be the last time because all she wanted was to be with Callie and to get to know her better.

« Would you like to go for a coffee or... »

« Yes! » Callie almost yelled, nodding too much and cutting Arizona Off. « I need a coffee!

She cleared her throat nervously and exhaled. « Let's go... »

As she walked by Arizona, the blonde grabbed her arm softly and stopped her.

« Callie... »

« Mmh ? » Callie replied, faking the non-surprise.

« Did I do something wrong? Because if you have changed your mind since the other day, I can take it. Just say it. »

« What? No! Not at all... » Callie said, turning all her attention to Arizona.

She was obviously upset and she didn't like that.

« I was just trying to be professional you know... » She mumbled.

« But we are alone here. » Arizona said, looking around the lab. « You know, what, forget about it... I am just not used to ... »

Rolling her eyes, she found herself wondering what she was trying to describe. What was between her and Callie, she wasn't really sure how to define it. And she might have misjudged Callie's expectations.

« Not used to what? » Callie wrinkled her eyebrows, needing explanation.

« I don't know... » Arizona sighed. « This, between you and me. I know it's fresh and new and it's not even a thing, but maybe we should talk about it? How to be together? »

Arizona winced in frustration. Her lack of social interaction had really done a number on her and she was feeling dumb. She was still readjusting, but the way Callie was making her feel was really unexpected and she didn't want to ruin it.

« You're totally right! » Callie said, relieved to hear Arizona say it before her. « We have to talk and get the pressure down. We're both consenting adults attracted to each other, there's nothing more normal than that after all, right? »

« Right... » Arizona smirked, trying to hide the little smile she had. Callie was acting as silly as her and it was really sweet.

« What? » Callie asked, misunderstanding Arizona's expression.

« Let's go and have that coffee, my 'consenting adult attracted to me'. » Arizona laughed as Callie blushed, before sketching a relieved smile.

« Yes, let's go. »

…...

The 'Let's keep it professional during the trial hours' was already understood by the two of them when they arrived at the coffee cart together. They were still in the hospital area and it was really too soon to be caught by the staff. Callie had already been the center of the gossip lately, she didn't want to go through it again. And certainly did not want to involve Arizona in it.

Smiling at the barista, Arizona ordered a double latte and Callie ordered a double coffee infused with cream.

As they received their beverages, Callie looked at Arizona, surprised by the amount of sugar she was putting in it.

« Isn't that enough? » Callie asked her.

« Oh, sorry... » Arizona clenched her teeth.

« No you don't have to be sorry... It's yours. You can put all the sugar you want in it... » Callie replied while they walked back to her office. It was not the time to blame Arizona for that kind of thing. It was just a remark, but she was so scared about how the blonde could react that she regretted to have said it.

She didn't want to cross one of her colleagues. She was so predictable and confused by Arizona that they would have busted her.

« I think that it's the first thing we have to stop. » Arizona said as Callie opened the door of the office, closing it behind her. « The whole apology thing. We have to talk openly and get to know each other right? So let's try to be as natural as possible and not be so careful with everything. »

« You're right. » Callie repeated, sitting on the couch in the corner of her office. It was uncomfortable and not really appealing, but that way, they could sit next to each other. She felt relieved when she listened to Arizona, and happier when she sat next to her, not waiting for an invitation or anything else.

She wasn't afraid to talk about what was on her mind and she wasn't playing either. Everything was easier than when they were in the lab and their complicity was back. It was exciting and pleasant at the same time.

« I know that I am complicated, that my life is... a mess and that there are a lot of things you don't know about me. But I don't want you to feel uncomfortable with it. » Arizona continued. « There are some subjects I'm not ready to talk about, but if you ask about them, I'll try. »

« Arizona, we don't have to do this you know. » Callie reassured her. « We'll take it as it comes. »

« I know, but I want it. I want you to feel comfortable with me. » She said firmly. « I have issues, I will try to get over them. It's going to be hard sometimes I guess, But you are worth it all Callie. »

« Thanks... » Callie mumbled, blushing.

Smiling at her and waiting for more reactivity, Arizona began to worry with Callie's monosyllabic answer. Her grin tensed when she noticed the brunette was nervously shaking her leg, as if something was upsetting her.

« Is everything okay? Because you seemed preoccupied today. » Arizona worried.

Callie instinctively straightened her position and swallowed. « It's okay, I'm just nervous all of a sudden, and I don't know why... »

Arizona put her latte on the armrest and scooted closer to Callie, leaning to kiss her cheek.

The ortho surgeon relaxed at the contact, closing her eyes and enjoying the moment.

Arizona's lips on her skin was the sweetest thing she had ever experienced and it was a feeling she would need forever from now on.

« It's supposed to be a nice and cool moment... » Arizona whispered. « So why are you so nervous? »

Opening her eyes slowly Callie was now smiling and relaxed. « Guess I just needed this. »

She turned her face, towards Arizona and kissed her lips softly than ever, a chaste but sweet kiss on those pink plump lips. And the feeling of Arizona's lips on hers was definitely more pleasant than on her cheek.

Wanting more, Arizona grabbed Callie's waist and pulled her closer, their bodies now pressed against each other, as their lips moved slowly, taking the time to discover each other.

Callie's hands were quickly in Arizona's hair, stroking blonde curls, as she pushed the shorter woman slowly on her back. Her hands made their way down to Arizona's hips, softly rubbing as the kiss deepened and the blonde let a moan escape, making Callie stop her actions.

« What is it? Did I hurt you? » She worried,

« No! Not at all! » Arizona smirked. « It was quite the opposite... »

« Oh... » Callie smiled. « So I should just pick up from where I left? »

Receiving a smile and nod from Arizona, she was about to continue when the door of her office was slammed in the wall, making the walls shake and the two women jump in surprise.

« You must be kidding me! » A tall red-head woman pushing a giant red suitcase said out loud.

…...

 _Callie was tense and nervous. She was about to say good bye to her best friend and she wasn't ready to let her go._

 _Addison had always been there for her. She had helped her after Georges left her._

 _She knew that feeling, her ex-husband had left her to be with another woman. But it was different because she had cheated on him._

 _Callie had never done anything wrong with George, except falling too hard for him._

 _Addison had been with her every step of her recovery, holding her when she was crying late at night, being her rock when everything was too hard to handle, being her drinking buddy when Callie needed alcohol to forget about that fiasco._

 _Even if everything was behind them now, seeing her friend leave Seattle scared her._

 _« You're gonna be okay Callie. Don't doubt it. » Addison smiled at her as her flight was now being announced in the airport speaker._

 _« I'm going to miss you... » Callie mumbled in a sob._

 _« I have to go Callie. I have this new job and my boyfriend is waiting for me. » Addison explained, feeling sorry to leave her behind. « I'll come back to see you, and you'll come by! »_

 _« Yeah, I know I'm being selfish and childish, but who am I going to gossip with now? Who am I going to hang out with in weird bars? »_

 _« You're not alone Callie. You have Meredith and Yang. » Addison reassured her. « And your life is here. Seattle has never been my ever after, I've always known that. »_

 _« Yeah. I know my life is here. » Callie sighed. « And Erica is here. »_

 _Addison didn't reply. She knew Callie was blinded by the feelings she had for the cardio surgeon, and she had seen her compromise a lot of things for her relationship to work._

 _« Yeah... »_

 _« What is it with this tone? »_

 _As the final call for the passengers was heard, Addison grabbed her suit case and hugged her friend._

 _« I have to go. You take care of yourself? I will call you when I land. » She said as she walked to the registration board._

 _« Wait! What is wrong with you? »_

 _Sighing, Addison turned back and decided it was now or never._

 _« She's not the one for you Callie. I've known it since the day you told me you were dating her. And It's not because I don't like her. But you are giving up all your dreams for her. She doesn't deserve that and she won't compromise anything for you... »_

 _« You're still going on with that story? I can't believe it. »Callie grumbled. She didn't want to have this discussion again with Addison. She just wanted to enjoy her presence for the last minute, but now, everything was wasted._

 _« You have to think about what you really feel for her. If it's really love, I'm happy for you. But if you're just trying to convince yourself it's love, you have to stop it. Being in a relationship can be thrilling and I know you're an eternal romantic. You want to feel love and being loved. »_

 _« I don't understand what you mean. » Callie annoyingly said._

 _« It's not because you're together that she's your happy ending. She doesn't want kids and it's your dream Callie. »_

 _« I love her Addie. »_

 _« Are you sure about that? » The redhead asked her friend for the last time._

 _« I wanted to propose to her... I want it.»_

 _« Oh no, Callie, please tell me you're going to figure what you really want for your life... And above all, you're going to figure what your real feelings for her are. Because being in love is one thing, loving to be in love is another one... »_

…...

« And I thought you were stuck in an OR or something... »

« Addison? » Callie said in astonishment, immediately standing up and running to hug her friend. « Oh my god! What are you doing here! »

« Are you kidding me? » She yelled, hugging her friend. « Apparently My ex-husband didn't tell you anything... »

« No he didn't... »

« I told him to warn you! I am here for a consult with a former couple that were my patients. They are extremely wealthy and they wanted only me to help them in getting their second kid. They are paying for everything, so I am here for three weeks, at least! »

« But what about your patients in LA? » Callie asked.

« I took some holidays and cleared everything before I left, so it's not a problem. »

As Callie stepped a little back, Addison take a look at the beautiful blonde she caught her friend kissing, and then looked back at Callie with a smirk.

Arizona stood up discretely and Callie walked by her side, grabbing her arm and leading her to meet her friend.

« Oh, this is Addison, my best friend. »

Looking nervously at Callie, Arizona finally turned her gaze to the taller woman and smiled shyly, extending her hand. »

« Hello, I'm... »

« This is Arizona Robbins, this is who I'm dating now. » Callie cut her off, noticing the embarrassment in Arizona's posture.

Smiling and scrutinizing Arizona's face Addison came closer and hugged her quickly.

« Nice to meet you... Arizona... » Addison said as she broke the embrace, still looking intensely at the blonde. « I'm sorry, but do I know you? »

« I don't think so... » Arizona mumbled, her eyes avoiding direct contact. « But it was great to meet you. I have a PT session, so I'm gonna go. »

Taking her latte from the couch, Arizona awkwardly smiled at Callie who could see the discomfort on her face.

« I will see you later? » She asked carefully as Arizona walked by her.

« Yeah, sure... » Arizona mumbled again. « I'm leaving you two to catch up... »

…...

« So that was awkward... » Addison said as she settled on Callie's office couch where Arizona was sitting a few moments earlier.

« Why? »

« Because, I didn't know you had a new girlfriend and... I'm sure I know her... » Addison said, smirking at the brunette.

« First of all, she's not my girlfriend, we are not even a thing... » Callie tried to explain. « And second, you might know her, she worked in LA two years ago. »

« Really? And what's her job? »

« She was a surgeon, peads surgeon. » Callie proudly said even if she didn't know a lot of things about Arizona's career.

« You're dating a Pead's surgeon. » Addison teased lightly, remembering Callie saying that Peads surgeon were always some old creepy men.

« Former. She's not working anymore. » She précised.

« Why is that? »

« It's a long story... »

« I would remember her if I had worked with her... She's hot... » Addison teased, receiving a dark glare from Callie. « What? Even if I don't do girls, I can say that... Besides, her name sounds familiar... »

« You don't meet an Arizona everyday... » Callie smiles, a dreamy expression on her face.

« You're addicted already Callie. » Addison said, knowing her friend was falling hard and fast.

« I can't deny it. It's stronger than me. Ever since I met her, I've been attracted. » Callie confessed. « But it was a little odd considering she's the one who's going to test my prosthetic leg... »

« What? She's working in your trial? » Addison raised her eyebrow.

« Yeah, she's the woman I talked to you about. » Callie said, already expecting a sermon.

« The homeless beaten woman? » Addison surprisingly said.

« I told you, it's a long story... » Callie sighed.

« It's perfect, I have all the time in the world! »

…...

Walking through the hallway without a real goal, Arizona knew she was going to have to talk to Callie.

Addison must remember her. But how on earth would that be possible.

She had found herself in Seattle by chance, and that is where she met this amazing woman who Callie was to her.

So how can that woman be her best friend?

She had been taken aback and had flee, thinking Addison already remembered who she was, and if she didn't it was only a matter of time before it happened.

Without realizing it, she found herself in front of Joe's pub, her thoughts running in circles in her mind and it was not good.

Just a few moments earlier, she was in control, or at least felt in control of her life.

It was the first time in years. She was ready for a new life, she was confident, even if it was not really clear.

And then here she was again.

She needed to cool down, and to stop worrying. She would talk to Callie, she would explain and then she'll know if she would agree to keep going.

« Hey what are you doing here? » Amelia said as she opened the door of the pub, passing by her.

« Oh, hey... » Arizona weakly replied, surprised to be pulled out of her thoughts that way.

« You want to join me for a drink? »

Arizona raised her brows. The last conversation she shared with the neuro surgeon had ended abruptly and she didn't think she would talk to her so easily.

« Sure... » She mumbled, following the brunette to the counter where they settled on stools.

« Hey Joe. » Amelia greeted the bartender she seemed to know well. « A club soda for me, and what will you have? »

« The same. » Arizona replied. She didn't want to drink alcohol, it was never a good adviser.

« Hey cheer up Robbins. » Amelia said, taping lightly on the blonde's arm. « What's your problem? »

Everything on Arizona's face was screaming tension and it was easy to note she wasn't comfortable.

« I'm just... I'm sorry for the other day, you know... » Arizona clumsily apologized. « I was having a complicated day. But I shouldn't have been so harsh. »

« Oh, it's okay, don't worry. » Amelia said as the bartender gave them their drinks. « I can be a jerk sometimes too. »

Noticing Arizona's embarrassment, Amelia laughed.

« Relax, I'm just kidding. » She said. « So let's forget about it, okay? »

« Okay. » The blonde replied, her attention clearly not totally devoted to Amelia.

« So, what's up? Because you seem pretty stressed. »

« I was just... Do you know a woman named Addison? »

« Why? Is Addie here? » Amelia asked, receiving a positive nod from Arizona. « For sure I know her. She's my brother ex-wife. She's great. Not that Meredith is not good, but I get along better with Addison. »

« She is with Callie right now. » Arizona précised, still sure Addison remembered her.

« Oh, so now she's Callie and not Dr. Torres anymore? » Amelia smirked.

« Yeah, she's Callie. » Arizona smiled. « You were right, okay... I have a crush on her, and we kind of... »

« Kind of what? » Amelia smirked. She knew those two were closer than they admitted.

« You know what I'm talking about... » Arizona sighed. « And that woman came in her office when we were alone together. »

« Oh, she interrupted some action... »

« Not at all... » Arizona immediately précised. « She just opened the door without knocking, and she talks... a lot... »

« Yeah, she can be a bully. » Amelia laughed, understanding Arizona frustration. « But she's nice. And if you want to be with Torres, you better get used to her. Those two are thick as thieves. »

« I saw that. » Arizona smiled, thinking about the way Callie was excited to see her friend. « But it's not the first time I have met her. And I don't know if she remembers me. »

« Hey, that's right, you told me you worked in LA for a while. You worked with her on some case? »

« In fact, I met her, a long time ago. »

…...

« You seem happy Callie. » The redhead told her friend as they walked through the hallways.

« I am happy. » Callie confirmed. « My research is about to go forward. The team is really great, so everything is exciting right now. »

« I guess it's not just about the trial. »

Addison knew Callie was happy. She was almost glowing, a smile plastered on her face, and that's why it was worrying her.

Knowing Callie for years, she knew her friend can fall fast and hard. She had nothing against the blonde woman Callie introduced to her earlier, except the fact that her face and her name sounded familiar. She also knew Callie hated being mothered so she wouldn't warn her at the moment.

But she couldn't help but feel a little worried.

« She seems nice your girlfriend. I'd like to take you two to dinner tonight. » Addison genuinely proposed.

« She's not my girlfriend, not yet. It's too early for that. » Callie précised, even though the idea of calling Arizona her girlfriend was something she secretly hoped to be true one day.

« So what is she then? » Addison insisted. « It doesn't matter after all. If she treats you well, I'd like her. So tonight, 8? I will let you pick the restaurant? »

« I can't talk for her, but I will ask and see if she's available. »

…...

 _It was an insane day at the hospital and Annie was mad. Everybody around could notice it, and when she sat at a table at the cafeteria, the woman in front of her couldn't resist but to put salt on the wound._

 _« What's the problem? » The red headed surgeon asked her. « Because you were just so cranky during this morning's surgery... »_

 _« Nothing. I'm okay... »_

 _« She's been invited to Carlson wedding. » a dark haired man said._

 _« Oh well that's great, isn't it? » the red head said._

 _« No it's not. » Annie grumbled._

 _« And what's the problem? Because he's a good guy... »_

 _« That's not the problem... It's just that he wants me to bring my partner. » Annie explained, visibly upset._

 _« So what? » The other woman insisted._

 _« Come on Dr. Montgomery, you know I hate sharing my private life. I don't want to bring them. »_

 _« So you're dating someone? That's great! » the man said._

 _« It's complicated. » The nurse explained._

 _« What's the problem? »_

 _« I don't want her to meet my colleagues... » Annie blurted out, not even regretting it._

 _« Why? If you're with her it means that you love her right? So she has to be an amazing woman. » Addison tried to reassure Annie._

 _« She's a surgery resident. »_

 _« Great! So she won't be lost among us. » Addison Montgomery smiled. « And why didn't you tell us you were dating someone? Since when? Is it new? Are you scared she'll run when she meets your work friends? »_

 _« It's been a few months. We dated a few years ago and she dumped me. » Annie explained. « We got back together. »_

 _« Ow, that's cute... like you're meant to be. » Addison smiled._

 _« I don't think so. We're too different... » Annie said in a emotionless tone._

 _« So why are you with her? » The man asked._

 _« I don't even know... »_

…...

« So your ex was a friend of hers? »

« Not a friend. They worked together, but not all the time. They seemed to get along well, that's all I know. » Arizona explained, remembering that horrible day she first met Addison.

« But that's not a problem. Everybody has a past Arizona. » Amelia said, not getting the point.

« I know that, but I should have told Callie immediately I knew her... » Arizona complained. « Now, they are maybe talking about me, and about things I didn't tell Callie. She's going to think I'm a liar. »

Amelia tried to think about what Arizona seemed so scared about Callie to hear.

But she knew Addison well enough and she knew how caring she was. She was sure she wouldn't deliberately tell her friend anything that could hurt her or bother her.

Anyway, something was bothering Arizona right now and she wanted to help.

« You know, maybe she doesn't remember you. She's not really physiognomist, that's not her thing. » She tried to joke, but Arizona's embarrassment was still the same. « Whatever... Do you want to talk about it? »

Arizona raised her head and met Amelia's friendly gaze. Where she would have snapped back a few days ago, she took a moment to process the offer.

« It's just that she knows about something intimate, and I haven't talked about it with Callie for the moment. »

« I think it's normal since you barely know her. » Amelia said. « You've been seeing her for a few days only. It's normal for her to not know everything about you. »

« Well, we have shared a lot already. We have talked about our life, our past. » Arizona said, still uncomfortable. « And I'm not ready to talk about that for the moment. »

« So tell her when you're ready. Don't rush things. If you're serious about whatever there is between you two, she will understand it. » Amelia advised in a friendly manner.

« But what if Addison tells her... »

…...

 _The wedding ceremony was over and the guests were now having a cocktail before the fancy dinner which was waiting for them._

 _Addison had been stuck in the OR for an emergency C section, but she had managed to make it to the cocktail party. That is what she texted a nervous Annie who sighed deeply as she put her phone back in her purse._

 _« What's wrong honey? » Arizona asked as Annie grumbled something._

 _« Nothing... And stop calling me honey, that's ridiculous... »_

 _« Okay... » The blonde replied, shrugging and walking to the bar. « You want a drink? »_

 _« No thanks... I'm good. »_

 _As she watched her girlfriend walk through the crowd, Annie felt a little guilty for giving her the cold shoulder. She was not happy to be here with her, not wanting her colleagues to intrude in her private life._

 _« Here she is! » A voice said behind her._

 _« Addison you're already here? »_

 _« Yeah, I know... » The taller woman smiled. « I have a date. With Dr. Paulson… Can you believe it? »_

 _« Oh, that's great. »_

 _« It is actually. So I better join him before he finds a younger brunette to replace me. » Addison half joked._

 _Annie sighed in relieve. She didn't want Arizona to meet her. Not now. Not under the circumstances._

 _But the relief was short, as her girlfriend was back, handing her a glass of Champaign._

 _« I brought it for you. I know you like it. » she smiled big at her lover who smiled back at her weakly._

 _« Thanks... » Annie mumbled, knowing it was too late._

 _« Oh, so you're the girl? » Addison smiled as she offered her hand to Arizona who shook it._

 _« I guess I am... » Arizona replied. « Arizona Robbins, pleasure to meet you. »_

 _« Arizona? That's quite a name... » Addison replied with an amused grin as she studied the woman from head to toe, not missing the baby bump her pale pink dress was letting appear. « Oh my... »_

 _« What? » Arizona asked, confused by the red headed reaction._

 _« I... Congratulation... » Addison said, looking confusedly at Annie before hugging Arizona unexpectedly. « You're secretive Annie... »_

…...

After a long day, Arizona was back at her hotel room.

It was only 5 pm and she didn't know what to do with her time. She had left Callie's office in a rush, fleeing Addison insisting look on her. She was sure that by the time, the fetal surgeon will remember who she was and Callie would know about the child she lost nearly 4 years ago.

It was so incredible that she was one more time wrapped in her stupid theory the bad fate was following her, even in Seattle where she thought she could start over.

She remembered that day very well. She met Addison once but it had been really hard on her. She knew Annie wasn't comfortable with her to meeting her colleagues. She didn't really know why, and at the time, she was so happy that it didn't really matter.

In fact she thought she was happy, but now she knew she wasn't really. She was living a fake life Annie wasn't enjoying but she didn't realize that soon enough.

She remembered the surprise on Addison's face when she noticed « the girlfriend » was pregnant and her embarrassed look as she hugged her to congratulate them.

Annie and Addison were not really close, but from what she knew, they were having lunches together and worked regularly on patients together, Annie being a pediatric nurse and Addison a fetal OB surgeon.

But what she wasn't ready to hear that day happened in the bathroom of the reception hall.

…...

 _Arizona was in the toilet, again. That baby seemed to love squeezing her bladder lately, but she didn't care. She was so excited by that pregnancy that nothing was bothering her._

 _« Well I have to say I'm a little vexed here... » A voice said, as Arizona heard the entrance door of the bathroom open. « Well, I'm happy for you, but why didn't you ask me? »_

 _« Because, as I told you, I hate mixing my private life with my professional life. » Annie said, making Arizona raise her brow._

 _« I get it, but I am one of the best. And you know it. I could have helped. » Addison continued._

 _« I don't think so... » Annie replied in a defeated tone, running tap water._

 _« Is there a problem between you and... What's her name? »_

 _« Arizona... » Annie whispered, her voice emotionless, almost cold. « And there is no problem. But I feel like I'm trapped here... »_

 _« What do you mean? »_

 _« It's complicated, but she lost her brother last year, and we were just dating. Nothing serious. We had been together before and it ended abruptly. » Annie tried to explain, sighing in defeat. « I wasn't looking for something serious, and she was around. We knew each other, and it was easy. But all that shit happened, and she clung to me like I was her lifeline. I didn't dare to leave her alone, she was vulnerable. So I stayed. And one day she came up with the idea of having a kid. She wanted something happy to think about after months of sadness. »_

 _« And you let it happen? » Addison asked. « Have you told her you were not in. »_

 _« Not really, but I didn't tell her I was in either. »_

 _« I think you're in trouble girl... » Addison gave her colleague a dark glare. « It's not fair for her, for you or worst for that child. »_

 _« I know that... »_

 _Listening to Annie's confession made Arizona's world turn upside down. There were her deepest doubts being confirmed._

 _She sat back on the toilet seat, not minding, too weak to stand on her feet._

 _But she wouldn't say anything. Not now._

…...

It was a lifetime ago. Annie was dead, the baby too. And she was the only one to blame.

Well she thought she was for a long time. But she was now really realizing how toxic her relationship with Annie had been since the beginning.

Annie wasn't caring at all. And she herself was so blinded by her need to build a family that she wasn't listening to her and she wasn't seeing the signs Annie was trying to send her.

She sat back on the edge of the bed and sighed. It was a waste of time, she knew it so strongly.

It was the past and she was over it now. Callie was giving her a chance to start a new life. But there was Addison Montgomery in her way, like a deadly reminder of that past life she wanted to throw away forever.

Not really knowing what to do for the rest of the day, and scared that Addison would have talked to Callie, her hands naturally went to her neck where her nails nervously scratched her bruised skin.

That's when a knock on the door made her raise her head, still scratching, nails digging deeper without any felling of relief, and blood appearing.

She stood up automatically and walked to the door. She wasn't expecting anyone, so the only people she could think of was the cleaning team or a mistake.

She opened the door and found a smiling and perky Calliope Torres who gave her a beautiful grin which faded quickly as she noticed what she 'whatever Arizona was to her' was doing.

« Hey, stop that! You promises me! » Callie said softly as she grabbed Arizona wrist. « Oh my god, you're bleeding... »

« Oh... » Arizona mouthed, surprised when she saw the red on her fingers. « Sorry, I was jus... »

« Let me take a look... » Callie said as she led Arizona to the bed.

« It's okay, don't worry. It's just bruised... »

« Of course it is... » Callie said, looking closely at Arizona's neck. « Wait for me. »

She walked out of the bathroom with a watered towel she applied on the fresh wound, making Arizona lightly wince.

« I don't like that Arizona... » Callie reproached, swabbing the towel. « And I know you do it when something is bothering or upsetting you. So what is it? »

Arizona bit her lip for a moment. She knew she had an opportunity to tell Callie what she wanted to tell her, but she didn't want her to feel uncomfortable by listening at another story of her crappy and lame life.

« It's nothing. » Arizona lied, pulling Callie's hand away. « So what are you doing here? »

« Arizona... Please talk to me. You told me this morning that you wanted us to communicate to prevent awkwardness... »

Apparently she was stuck at her own game and Arizona didn't like it. Usually she was clever than that, fooling people was one of her strongest skill. But with Callie nothing was ever going the way she wanted.

« Maybe you're right... » She whispered while Callie sat next to her, looking at her with a concerned gaze.

« What is it? Do you want to talk about it? » Callie ventured, lightly squeezing the blonde's hand and focusing all her attention on her.

« I... I lost my baby a few months before the plane crash. I was almost 6 months pregnant and I lost it. » Arizona blurted out without warning, the same way she told Callie about her sister. « Annie didn't want that kid, I was too excited by the project to notice that. But she told me she was all in, and we did it. And it worked. » Arizona explained, her eyes unable to sustain Callie's. « And then something happened and, it... Well, I'm... It was... »

Feeling the urge of Arizona to share that part of her story with her, Callie took her hands in hers and tried to make her look at her, successfully.

« It's okay... You don't have to tell me the story. » Callie said quietly, the most compassionate look she could give her... whatever Arizona was to her.

« I have to! » Arizona almost snapped back, immediately regretting the tone of her voice.

She let go of Callie's hand and stood up beginning to pace in front of the Latina.

« I have to! » Arizona repeated anxiously, trying to prevent her fingers from scratch her neck one more time by clenching her fists. « I lost the baby. But a few weeks prior I was with Annie at a wedding and I met her colleagues for the first time. She was a nurse and she was a really private person. Or I thought she was. »

Callie knitted her eyebrows in an attempt to understand what Arizona was talking about, nodding slowly.

« I see that you're very upset. » She carefully said. « But I don't really know why you are so nervous sweetie, we've already talked about a lot of things. »

« And that's where I met Addison. So when I saw her this morning, I wasn't sure she will remember me, but then I noticed she was staring at me, saying she thought she saw me somewhere... even if we met only once. »

« What? I'm sorry, what? » Callie yelled, mouth agape.

« That's why I freaked out, and I know I was just telling you that I will try to ... »

Arizona was stopped in her monologue by two strong hands firmly grabbing her shoulders.

« Arizona! Stop it! » Callie authoritatively asked. « Did you just tell me that you have met Addison before? »

Almost outed from the defensive speech she was trying to give Callie, Arizona's eyes bulged for a moment, realizing Callie was talking to her.

« Yes... » She mumbled, still surprised by Callie's reaction.

« Wow... » Callie said, her arms relaxing and dropping against her body.

« It's the last thing I expected... » Arizona said, looking at Callie with a defeated look. « How can that be real... I mean, I fled LA, I settled in Seattle by chance. I met you under hazardous circumstances, and here she is... She's your friend and she was working with my ex... »

Callie remained speechless for a moment, lightly turning her head to the left as if she needed time to process what Arizona just told her. It was a lot to take in, but the only piece of information she was really thinking about was that Arizona had lost a child, another loss in her chaotic life, and it saddened Callie.

« I am so sorry Arizona. » She almost whispered, taking a step forward which made Arizona step back.

« No, don't be. It's not your story. » Arizona said, straightening her posture and taking a deep breath. « It's the past, and even if it's still really hard to face sometimes, I have to get rid of it. I am here now, and this won't change my resolution. »

Noticing Callie's confusion, Arizona knew that it was now or never, she had to make it real and say it out loud.

« The second I saw Addison, everything overwhelmed me and I ran. I was totally freaking out for 10 minutes, and then I realized that I didn't want to run. I was here, with you just a moment before and everything was great. I was feeling... myself for the first time in years. » Arizona said, tears reaching her eyes but not rolling on her cheeks. « I feel stronger actually. I need and I want to forget the past. It will always be a part of me, but I have to accept it, and I think I am beginning to do that. »

« I don't understand everything but I guess that's great... » Callie said as she was taken by surprise by two hands cupping her face and Arizona's lips crashing on hers.

Accepting the kiss and responding to it immediately, Callie's hand quickly embraced Arizona's waist and then her lower back, pulling her closer as the kiss became more intimate and intense.

To the brunette's surprise, it was Arizona who stopped it, putting her hands on her shoulder.

« I don't know where we are going Callie. I can't promise anything, but you're the one that make me want to do all those things. You're giving me that boast I needed. And I am so ready for it. »

Callie smiled hard. Arizona was presenting such a serious facial expression, trying to be persuasive, it was almost funny and adorable.

« I didn't expect to hear anything like that, and we surely have to talk about it later, but right now, I just... » Callie tried to say as tears ran down on her cheeks, Arizona immediately wiping them away.

« You're the one that is making me strong enough to tell you everything Calliope. »

Callie's eyes and mouth opened wide at the mention of her full name, Arizona took the chance to kiss the brunette temple gingerly.

« And I'm glad I feel that way, because I needed it. I was drowning slowly, and you rescued me. » Arizona stated.

« I came to invite you to dinner, with Addison... » Callie managed to say, still under the shock of Arizona's intense confession. She didn't know what to answer and she didn't know if Arizona was waiting for something, but it was the only words that came to her mind in the moment. « If you're okay. »

« I think I am. » Arizona smiled. « She's important to you, so you bet I want to meet her. Under better circumstances than the first time... »


	13. Back in the days

**AN: / Hey guys!**  
 **Sorry for the late update. I've been busy like hell lately, but summer break is finally here.**  
 **I will try to update the other stories I am working on in the next weeks.**  
 **The chapters are ready for some of them, but I'm not happy with the result. So I'm going to work back on them.**

 **In this chapter, we're going to learn a little more about Callie but above all Arizona's past again.**  
 **This could explain a little more the mess her life had become.**

 **Shy Alien help me with my terrible english. She's just the perfect person for that job, reading and corecting everything perfectly. A big thanks to you!**

 **Really hope you'll like it and thanks again for the amazing feedback you're giving this story!**  
 **Feel free to leave a review, I really appreciate to read them. Always making my day!**

 **Have a nice reading!  
**  
 _Flashbacks are in italic_

 _ **PREVIOUSLY :**_

 _ **« I came to invite you to dinner, with Addison... » Callie managed to say, still under the shock of Arizona's intense confession. She didn't know what to answer and she didn't know if Arizona was waiting for something, but it was the only words that came to her mind in the moment. « If you're okay. »**_

 _ **« I think I am. » Arizona smiled. « She's important to you, so you bet I want to meet her. Under better circumstances than the first time... »**_

 _ **...**_

Leaning against the wall, April Kepner was looking in the air, playing with a key between her fingers and sighing.

Today had been a tough day and she was on edge.

Today she had lost four patients, all from the same family after a car crash and she as usual felt guilty for not being able to rescue them.

Today above all, she was missing her sister a little more than usual and it was the last thing she needed. She needed Arizona's silly jokes to ease her mind, she needed her support to forget about all the mess, but she wasn't here.

That was the problem. She wasn't here and nobody knew where to find her.

But after all, Arizona had made a choice and it was her life.

She was just her half-sister, she knew her for a few years only, even if April thought they were having a real sibling relationship before she left that didn't mean it was enough for Arizona.

Bitterly restraining her sadness, she quickly wiped the tears which were threatening to fall and placed the fakest smile on her face when her friend and mentor Teddy Altman opened the door,

« What's going on Keps? » The tall blonde asked her, immediately noticing that she was upset. Not that she had taken Arizona's place but the two of them had gotten closer when Arizona disappeared.

« Nothing. It's been a long day, and I... » April stopped, not wanting to lie. « Will you come somewhere with me? It's just... I can't... »

April pursed her lips lightly before handing the keys to Teddy who took them, knowing what it was about.

« It's the last day to pay rent today. I won't pay it for another year Teddy. » She said, her eyes reflecting sadness and a little bit of anger. « I swore to myself last year I wouldn't pay one more year for that storage unit. So I made the call. If you want to do it, be my guest. If you don't, just take what you want and I will give the rest to a charity or something. »

« April... » Teddy sighed, giving the younger woman a compassionate look. « I know it's... »

« No you don't! » April cut her off. « You have no idea what is it I'm talking about. She told me she was okay. She told me she loved me, for the first time. We were finally in a good place, like real sisters, you know. She told me that and then, she left, without a word. »

« April wait... »

« No! I don't want to wait for her. If she can leave without looking back, why should I care about her? I mean she could be anywhere, with who knows who, doing god knows what? I don't care anymore! She might be dead and we wouldn't even know it! » April yelled, bursting in a sob as Teddy approached her and took her in her arms, trying to cool her down. Teddy knew the feeling all too well but she had always tried to be confident and believe that Arizona would come back on her own one day.

« It's okay to be mad April, believe me, I've been there so many times... » Teddy said slowly. « But we can't judge her. She just lost herself. And we're not going to give her stuff away. Okay? »

April left the comforting embrace and wiped her cheeks. She wanted to still be positive about Arizona's whereabouts. She had heard Alex speaking about how impulsive the blonde can be and how many times she had run away. But this time was different and they all knew it for a long time now.

« I don't know how you can be so relaxed about it... » She whispered, taking her lab coat off and opening her locker. « She let you down, exactly like she let all the people in her life here in Los Angeles down. I look at the unidentified bodies notification everyday Teddy. I'm sure one day we'll receive a call telling us that she has been dead for months and her body was found by accident by some hikers... I don't want to worry about that anymore. »

Knowing the doubts April was experiencing, Teddy was struggling with herself not to tell her the truth. The painful feeling of uselessness just left her thinking about a few weeks ago when she received the news from Callie and right now she was feeling guilty to see April so down, thinking about the worst.

« April... » She tried to talk to the red head.

« It's her birthday today, you know... » April said, her eyes and smile sadder than ever. « I know she hated to celebrate it, But I just wanted to do something and... »

« April listen to me... I have something to tell you... »

…...

« That's why I almost ran when I saw you yesterday. » Arizona confessed, ashamed and looking at the ground to avoid direct eye contact.

Taken aback by the revelations, Addison took a few seconds to gather her thoughts and looked at Callie who was totally content by Arizona at the moment. She put a hand on the blonde's shoulder in support, knowing how anxious she had been before meeting Addison.

« So I was not crazy. I really had met you before... » Addison finally said, trying to lighten the atmosphere surrounding them. « I heard about Annie's death in that plane crash, but I had no idea that you were with her at the moment. I didn't even know you were still together... »

« We were in a complicated situation, and weren't really together anymore. » Arizona tried to precise. « I now know she didn't want a future with me. She was leaving me for someone else. »

« She was a bitch. » Addison said coldly, taking a sip from her glass of wine. « Don't worry, she was not my friend. We were just work colleague. We often had lunch together and worked on a good amount of cases together. But that same day, at the wedding she told me some kind of crap about your situation, and I gave her my point of view. I couldn't understand how she was able to say she wasn't a part of your kid's project. It was so nonsense, and she was so cold and rude when she was talking about her girlfriend and the child to come. I gave her my opinion, she wasn't happy about it and she picked up a fight each time we had to work together after it. She changed her schedule and asked to work the nights. We barely spoke after that. »

« I know. » Arizona admitted awkwardly. « I was there too when she told you about the whole situation. I heard everything. »

Looking between her best friend and Arizona, Callie frowned her forehead in confusion, still holding the blonde's hand. Apparently Arizona and Addison understood each other and she was feeling a little left behind.

« Annie told Addison she wasn't really into the baby project and that she didn't know how to tell me the truth. » Arizona explained to Callie simply.

She wasn't bitter or sad. She was almost disconnected from what she was telling the brunette and it surprised her. She had been so blinded at the time that she couldn't believe what she heard in that bathroom could be right. Realizing the truth a few months later had been a real hardship.

« It's in the past. So let's forget about it. » Arizona said, turning all her attention to Callie and squeezing her cheek tenderly. « I'm here, with you, and that's the only thing I want to focus on. »

« You're right. It's the past and I'm not here to talk about it. I'm here to meet my best friend's girlfriend and nothing else! So, let's celebrate! » Addison said, raising her glass and smiling.

« Thank you. » Arizona smiled at her, as Callie kissed her temple softly, while Addison's phone rang, interrupting the moment.

« Sorry, I have to take it. » She excused herself, standing up and walking outside the restaurant, leaving the two other woman alone.

Still upset by what she heard, Callie turned her body towards Arizona and embraced her in a warm hug without warning her. She didn't want Arizona to think she was pitying her, but she needed to show her she was here and needed physical contact badly.

« I'm so sorry Arizona. » She whispered in the blonde's ear. « I didn't want to cause all this mess. »

Arizona didn't reply, enjoying the moment and burying her face in Callie's hair. There was a soft and incredible coconut smell emanating from them and she was feeling safe and cared. Nothing could hurt her in Callie's arm, she was sure about that.

« That woman, she was just a... »

« Don't... » Arizona said, breaking the embrace. « She wasn't the one for me, I realized that too late. But she wasn't the only one wrong in that story. I rushed things, I didn't give her any other choice but to follow my needs. And as I told you, I'm done thinking about it for the moment. »

« I know, but you are so strong. I couldn't have handled the half of what you've been through. » Callie replied, still impressed by Arizona's complicated past.

« Maybe I'm just stupid, or lucky... » Arizona smirked, making Callie smile. « Or maybe it was meant to happen like that... » scarcely had she said the words that Callie's lips were on hers in a soft but meaningful kiss. Surrendering everything, Arizona let Callie hold her tighter, her arms wrapping closer against her waist.

« I don't want you to be sad or hurt anymore. » Callie sincerely whispered, resting their foreheads against each other's. « I want to make you happy and safe and... »

« Please, there's a hotel room for that kind of stuff. » Addison joked, sitting back in front of the couple, receiving a death glare from Callie. « I'm just saying... »

« Shut up... » Callie mumbled, having difficulty in sitting straighter on her chair. She didn't want to break physical contact with Arizona, what the blonde seemed to appreciate a lot.

« Whatever... I can see you're happy Callie. And that's what it's important for me. And Arizona seems to care for you so I can't do anything else but to give you two my blessing. » Addison solemnly stated, taking her glasses.

« I don't need your blessing, you're not my father... » Callie warned her friend with a smirk.

« Luckily I'm not. The poor man deserves a medal after handling a daughter like you. » Addison joked. « And as your friend, I have a say in your relationship, even if it took you time to listen to me. »

« I knew you were going to talk about it... » Callie grumbled, her jaw clenching in advance.

« Talk about what? » Arizona asked as she noticed the tension increasing between the two friends.

« About Erica Hahn! » Addison said proudly. « I warned her she wasn't a good woman. I told her she was making a mistake. But she was so blinded by the fear of being alone that she stayed with that cold bitch too long and ended up with a broken heart... »

« Addison, mind your own business! » Callie nervously requested.

« Sorry... » Addison mumbled, knowing the subject was still risky. « But I was right, and you can't deny it. »

« Okay... You were right. » Callie admitted. Of course her best friend was right, but talking about Erica Hahn was the last thing she wanted, above all in front of Arizona.

« And without me, you'd be married to that woman, hooked to her job and you would have given up your dreams for her. »

Exhaling loudly to show her nervousness, Callie offered Addison a perfect forced and fake smile, trying to make her understand she'd better stop talking on about the subject.

Observing the two friends antics, Arizona giggled, bringing lightness to the situation.

« I wouldn't like to be the party pooper, but aren't we suppose to celebrate your presence in town? » she said, trying to reorientate the conversation.

« Totally... » Callie sighed, shrugging tensely which resulted in Arizona immediately putting her hands on her shoulders and trying to ease the tension in that part of her body by massaging it slowly. It had been like if she had always done it, feeling the knot on Callie's nerve relax.

« Mmmmmmhhh... » Callie moaned, Arizona tenderly kissing her head and resting her cheek on it, still massaging her shoulders.

Visibly relaxed by the blonde's touch, Callie naturally rested her head on Arizona's curls, closing her eyes for a moment.

Addison smiled tenderly, witnessing the first affectionate gesture between her two guests since the beginning of the dinner.

There was something very sweet but powerful coming from that scene, and she knew Callie was good right now. It was all she wanted to be sure about. After a chaotic journey in her sentimental life, maybe she had at least found a person who would deserve her.

« Here is your desert ladies. » The waiters interrupted them, Arizona raised her head and brought her chair closer to the table. Her gaze still lost, she smiled at him and tried to regain her thoughts.

Doing the same by her side, Callie's attention was caught by Addison's curious smirk.

« What? » She asked her friend.

« Nothing... » The red head smiled. « I'm just happy for you. »

…...

 _The only reaction she could manage at that moment was to slam the door at the face of the woman she had wanted to see for so long and at the same time hated so much._

 _Her mother was a few inches from her and only a door was separating them but it was not enough. Rushing to the bathroom, she just had the time to open the tap of the sink when a wave a nausea made her throw up everything she had in her stomach._

 _The emotions were too much to handle and she wasn't ready for it._

 _Her whole body was shaking, she grabbed the counter and bent her head, unable to control anything. Tears were now directly dropping in the sink from her eyes and it took her some time to realize she was crying._

 _Trying to be in control and to remain strong, she pointlessly tried to calm her breathing but it was too hard. The sobs were now making her lungs shake and she was unable to control anything._

 _It all had happened so suddenly and it was so violent that she was not ready for any of it._

 _The only thing she was able to do right now was to freshen up her face with cold water, and let herself sit on the bathroom floor, waiting for that ghost of a mother she had just seen at the front door to disappear._

 _Why now? Why here?_

 _She had needed her so much, a long time ago. She had cried so many times with her face buried in her pillow for her mother to come back to her and Tim, and as she grew up, the missing and the sadness had quickly changed in a visceral hate that had caused her so much trouble during her teenage years._

 _« Arizona, are you okay? » Teddy said, trying to open the locked door. The two of them had slept at April's place after their drunken night._

 _« I'm … Just about to take a shower... » Arizona mumbled, trying to hide any emotion in her voice._

 _« I have to go. My shift start in less than 30 minutes. I will see you when you go to sign your papers? Lunch at the cafeteria? »_

 _« Sure... » Arizona replied, the falling water covering her red and puffy eyes._

 _« I'm glad you're going to be back at work tomorrow... We've missed you. »_

 _And that was the last time Teddy saw or heard from her best friend._

…...

« It's been a pleasure Arizona, really. » Addison said as they were outside the restaurant and she opened the door of the cab. « You're good to my friend and she's glowing since the minute I saw her today. And it had been a long time since I've seen her like that. »

« Addie... » Callie gave her friend a probating glare.

« It was a pleasure to really get to know you. » Arizona extended her hand but the taller woman hugged her in response without warning.

« I will see you both really soon and I hope you're not going to get too nasty as soon as I leave... » She smirked, now hugging Callie warmly. « She better treat you well or I'll kick her ass! »

« It was great to see you too. » Callie laughed. « And call me as soon as you're free to hang out! »

« Don't worry, I will! » Addison winked, taking her place in the car and waving her hand signaling a goodbye to the two women who were looking at the cab wheeling away.

Seeing Callie rubbing her arms like she was cold, Arizona took of her usual grey hoodie and placed it on the brunette's shoulders.

Like earlier, the gesture had been natural and it felt like they were used to being together for a long time. No need to ask or talk, they were simply taking care of each other.

« So, what now? » Callie asked, smiling at the romantic gesture. « Do you want to have a drink or something? »

« Sure! » Arizona replied, really happy to see Callie proposing the idea.

« I know a pub not so far from here, if you're okay... »

« I will follow you Dr. Torres. » Arizona smirked, offering her hand, ready to go wherever Callie would take her.

The sky was dark and the air was a little cold but Arizona didn't care. She felt free from something. She was relaxed and it was more than noticeable.

She had a little grin, barely visible at the corner of her mouth and her gaze was brighter than usual.

She had been able to face her fears and nothing bad had happened. She had took the bull by the horns by telling Callie the truth and the payback had been there.

There was no drama, no taboo. They had spent a great night with Callie's friend and they had talked about the past, like normal people, even if it was dramatic. And they were closer now.

Was it because of Callie that everything which was so hard to handle before was now almost normal to talk about?

« I used to come here with Mark but it's been a while. He's become such a homebody since he's been with Lexie! » Callie laughed, opening the doors and walking with Arizona to a free booth. « They have great cocktails, wanna try one? »

« Yeah, of course. » Arizona replied as the couple settled, taking a quick glimpse at the card.

Callie couldn't help but feel a little shattered. She had learned more things about Arizona's past, and they were still sorrowful events. And she didn't want to make her uncomfortable by asking questions about Annie, but she was dying to know. Now that a deep trust seemed to take place between them and the connection they shared had grew intensely, Callie decided it was worth a try.

« May I ask you something? » She ventured.

« Of course... » Arizona replied, smiling at her, knowing what she was about to be asked. « You want to know why I never confronted Annie about what she told Addison. »

« Kind of... » Callie confessed, ashamed. She didn't want to push her too hard, but in a way, it was now or never.

« If I told you that I don't really know why, would you believe me? » The blonde said, her smile a little sadder than earlier. « I clouded my issues. Deep inside I knew something wasn't working, but I didn't want to admit it. My dream was to have a family. A really family. I wanted to be happy, so strongly that I managed to get over what she said. At least I thought I did. »

The realization struck Arizona a little harder than she thought it would, and it took her a few seconds to continue.

« I rushed into that process. And for the first time in months, it was easy. Annie was really good in the beginning at faking her interest and happiness. I got pregnant at the first try and from the outside, anyone would have thought everything was going smoothly. » Arizona explained, struggling with her emotions. « And finally the reality caught up to me back and I lost the baby, Annie showed me her true face the same day, being totally disconnected from my pain. So I blamed it on her, I ran away as soon as my body was able to carry me. I jumped in the first professional opportunity and I left her alone. »

« Arizona, are you blaming yourself for what happened? » Callie asked, knowing the way the blonde thought every tragedy in her life occurred because of her own self.

« No but my stubbornness to avoid to talk to Annie and to see to what she really felt lead us to that plane and that's partially on me if she lost her life that day. » Arizona said. « She wasn't a good person, all of my friends will tell you that. But she wasn't the only one guilty in the story. »

« I don't know all the details, but it was a crash. It's not you who made that plane crash... » Callie said, grabbing the blonde's hand.

« I know that, but between the theory and the reality, I can't help but feel guilty, and it's a burden I will always carry in my mind. »

« You have to let that guilt go and live YOUR life. » Callie reassured her, still squeezing her hand. « And I'm really flattered you let me enter your emotional intimate zone. It means a lot. »

Feeling a flow of emotions, Arizona stood up slowly. She didn't think Callie would be so supportive and it made her emotional. « I need to use the bathroom. Do you know where it is? »

« Arizona, are you okay? » Callie worried at the sudden change of topic.

« Yeah, I'm fine, I just need to fresh up a little. » She replied, leaning and kissing Callie on the cheek, reassuring her she was okay.

« Okay... » Callie said, looking for the truth in those amazing blue eyes she was already fond of. « It's just over there. »

« I'll be quick. » Arizona weakly smiled at her.

Resting her chin on her hand, Callie looked at her walking away with a smile. She couldn't help but find her miraculous. She had been through so much, but she was still standing and seemed to have finally found the will to move forward.

Of course Callie had her own ups and down in her life but looking at what she knew about Arizona's past, they was nothing.

And they even had some of those painful events in common. They both had lost their brothers and seemed to have a messy private life.

But Callie had the chance to find her personal blooming in her professional life and she was surrounded by her family and her friends. She had a lot of people in her corner, looking for her. Of course Arizona had friends too, even a family, but she didn't judge her. She didn't know everything and all the reasons that had pushed her to run away from her life in L.A.

And did it really matter? She didn't like herself for thinking that without that escape, she would have never met her. Thinking about that made her realize a little more how lucky she was when a ring was heard from her pocket.

It was not her phone for sure she didn't have that ring. Then she remembered she was wearing Arizona's hoodie and so she looked in the pocket and saw a text on the screen.

« Happy anniversary... I really missed you and I'm happy you're okay. I talked to Keps, she knows now. Take care. Theodora. »

Too much things in one text...

First, Theodora must be Teddy Altman's full name right? Then, what the hell? Happy anniversary? Was it Arizona's birthday today or was it some kind of a private thing she had with her friends, some kind of a code. Or maybe it was some event's anniversary today... but what kind?

But above all, who was that Keps?

Was she a colleague? A friend? After all Arizona might have been in a relationship before running away. And that woman would have surely been madly in love with her... Totally lost in her thoughts trying to put all the pieces of the puzzle together and feeling a strange sensation of unwelcomed jealousy taking over her, Callie suddenly felt two arms slowly and tenderly wrap around her waist from behind and a soft pair of lips kiss her neck.

Shivering between pleasure and surprise, she didn't have the time to hide Arizona's phone back in her pocket. And thinking twice, she didn't want to. She didn't want to hide anything.

« Thank you... » Arizona whispered in Callie's ear, the brunette closing her eyes at the sweet sound.

« For what? »

« For anything, and everything... » Arizona replied, taking her seat back with a big grin on her face. « You are so patient and so caring. »

Callie smiled in relief. She thought for a minute Arizona would have been upset after their talk and the stories of her past being brought back up. But it didn't seem to affect her that much.

Noticing the phone in Callie's hand, Arizona wrinkled her brows. « Did it ring? »

« Yeah. In fact I took it reflexively... » Callie mumbled, apologizing because she thought Arizona would be mad at her.

« Oh, don't worry, you can take it. There's nothing interesting... I only use it to play those stupid games... » Arizona playfully confessed. « It must be a salesman or a wrong number... »

« In fact it's a text from your friend Teddy. » Callie explained a bit nervously as she handed Arizona her phone.

« Oh... » The blonde simply stated.

She looked at the message and gulped. There it was, a link to her best friend. Teddy had taken the lead and tried to reconnect with her and it meant the world to Arizona. They surely had a long road before they figured everything out, but it was a first step.

And April was now aware about the situation. It was another part of her life she hadn't talked a lot with Callie about, but she was feeling weirdly nervous knowing her sister knew now.

« Soooo... Is it your birthday today? » Callie ventured breaking the silence as Arizona was scrutinizing the screen.

Her eyes still on the phone she simply nodded, closing her eyes as she read the name of her sister.

« So let's celebrate? » Callie asked softly.

« Oh, Thanks but no thanks. » Arizona replied. "Birthdays are just days like any other days. Don't like them, don't celebrate them. No big deal."

« Really? I love birthdays... » Callie almost pouted. « I will make it up to you next year. I promise! »

« No, really Callie. You're adorable, but I don't need that. » Arizona précised, putting the phone on the table. « My birthday had never been something I felt like celebrating so, please, don't ... »

« Okay... But can I buy you a drink? At least? » the Latina insisted, offering a bright smile to Arizona who was totally unable to resist her. « And after that I will do my best to give you a 'non birthday' gift... »

Looking at Callie so carefree made Arizona remembered what she had sworn to herself: don't let the past ruin your present.

« You've got yourself a deal... »

…...

 _Callie wasn't impatient to go home that day. She was sure about it, her parents wouldn't have prepared something special this year. Enrique was gone for 8 months now and it was not the time to celebrate anything._

 _And she was not really in the mood for it. What was the point to celebrate your birthday when your twin brother was gone forever? It was supposed to be their day, their party. And now she was alone and her family was still mourning._

 _But deep inside, she wished she'd have a birthday party, like every other year before. Nothing big, just her family and friends, a cake and music._

 _But she immediately felt guilty to think such things. She missed him every minute, but she also needed something to make her smile._

 _When she arrived in front of her front door, she took a deep breath and stretched her over stressed body, and opened it, already anticipating an empty house and the nanny looking after her younger sister._

 _« Happy birthday Mija! » Carlos, Lucia and her friends greeted her, tears in their eyes and smiles on their face._

 _Callie let her schoolbag drop on the floor and rushed to her parents embrace, crying loudly._

 _« It's alright sweetie. » Her father said to her. « He will always be missed, but we are still lucky to have two beautiful daughters, and we're going to celebrate your birthday! That's what he would have wanted, and you deserve it. »_

…...

The only thing Arizona remembered when they approached the door of her room, is the feeling of two strong hands making her turn and face the woman accompanying her.

The end of the evening had been quiet after she received Teddy's text. Callie had ordered them two beers and they had talked about Callie's birthday party when she was a kid. Arizona had enjoy listening to her talking about her childhood. It was one of the first conversations they had shared without dramatic outcomes and without the game she had established at the beginning of their relationship. Listening to happy family memories was something she loved, living vicariously through them in a way.

Then Callie had insisted on walking Arizona to her room to be sure she would be safe, and to give her the non-birthday gift.

And now she was pressed against the wall, a few inches from her door, in the corridor, two bright brown eyes eating her alive.

« Callie what are you ... »

« I don't know... » Callie replied, leaning against Arizona and staring at her. « I wanted to do it all day long... »

She grabbed her face with both her hands and kissed Arizona passionately suddenly. First surprised by the lack of warning, Arizona quickly accepted and responded to the kiss, her arms automatically wrapping around Callie's waist.

« Wow... » She managed to say as Callie pulled away to take a needed gasp of air. « And what did I do to deserve this? »

« Nothing. I just realized how lucky I am to have found you... » Callie said in a low voice still staring in Arizona's blue and a little confused eyes. « I generally don't really believe in that crap, but it feels like... »

« Like what? » Arizona asked as Callie was silently smiling.

« Nothing... » Callie said, she was still smiling. « Kiss me now... »

…...

 _« You're annoying... » Callie said as she sat at a table with Meredith and Christina Yang, letting her tray fall loudly._

 _« What? »The dirty blonde replied, already knowing what her friend was trying to say._

 _« You, showing the pictures of your perfect family to everybody around Grey... » Callie grumbled._

 _The head of General surgery was back at work after the birth of her third child, and Callie was clearly jealous of her friend. She was happy for her for sure, but Meredith had everything she didn't: a beautiful and happy family and a big house full of children._

 _« It will be your turn soon Callie. » Meredith says, patting her shoulder._

 _She knew how Callie was down since the Erica fiasco and she was really supportive. She wanted nothing more for her friend than to find the person with whom she'll have a family of her own._

 _« You're too complicated to have a family life ... » Christina blurted out._

 _« Shut up Yang! » Callie replied._

 _« You always chose the wrong person... » Christina insisted._

 _« Because now you are an expert when it comes to love? »_

 _« Not at all... But look at your track record. I'm sorry but it's the truth. » Christina insisted. « Just try to find the person you feel is made for you, and focus on them. »_

 _« She's right Callie. » Meredith agreed. « You're always rushing things and you don't even ask yourself the good questions. See where it ended with Hahn... »_

 _« You don't need to remind me about it. » Callie bitterly snapped._

 _« All I'm saying, is that one day, you will meet him, or her and you'll know it. »_

 _« What do you mean? »_

 _« I can't explain it, but it will feel right. Something will click and you'll know where your heart is meant to be. »_

…...

« You are so beautiful... » Callie said, kissing Arizona's neck passionately as the blonde had barely managed to open her room doors.

She had pushed the smaller blonde against the nearest wall and her hands were everywhere. Even if Arizona had been responsive in the beginning, she was now feeling a little less comfortable and found Callie's sudden passionate behavior strange.

« Hold on, Hold on... » She whispered, trying to keep the control of the situation, and it seemed to work because Callie stopped immediately.

« What is it? » the brunette worried but was quickly relieved by the playful grin appearing on Arizona's face.

« It's just... Don't start something you won't be able to finish... » Arizona bit her lip, feeling nothing but desire growing.

« Believe me, I'll be able to finish whatever we might start... After all I promised you a gift... » Callie smirked, slamming the doors behind them.

…...

 _Walking out of her sister's apartment, Arizona wasn't feeling fine. Seeing the woman who gave her birth, so suddenly had upset her more than she thought it would. It was just another event she didn't want to handle, after everything she had been through._

 _So as usual, she had decided that nothing had happened and that the woman was surely far away right now. It was how she thought she could deal with hard situations: avoid them, trying to busy her mind with something else, hoping it would magically disappear._

 _It worked for the time. Not long. But it was the only thing she could do right now._

 _What she needed the most was to focus on herself and on what she had to do that day._

 _She was supposed to meet the chief of surgery to sign some documents allowing her to come back to work after her suspension._

 _Hitting that jerk in the OR had been really rescuer on the moment but she had been suspended for a while. If she was really honest with herself, it was not so bad._

 _She liked her job, she loved seeing Alex, Teddy and April every day, but she was feeling like she was suffocating in her department._

 _Of course, she was saving children, she was at the top of her skills and she knew it. But she was missing the adrenaline of the field. Being a humanitarian surgeon had always been what she loved. Being where they needed doctors, meeting new team mates, acting on the moment was the way she wanted to practice the medicine._

 _But she was well aware it wouldn't be the same because of her prosthetic. It was too risky and none of the NGOs would let her be a part of their mission now._

 _So she had to get back to the job she was only doing to pay her rent, without any real passion. Luckily, she was working with kids, and it was the only thing she loved in her life. Their spontaneity and their way to deal with injuries or disease was always amazing for her._

 _So when she entered the lobby, she was almost self-persuaded that it was the good thing to do. She was going to get her job back._

 _She greeted the staff at the reception desk with a nod and walked to the attending's lounge on the third floor, pushing the elevator button._

 _And there was her nightmare, staring back at her. Caitlin Kepner, her mother. The person she didn't want to see was right in front of her and she was unable to say anything and stayed frozen._

 _Knowing tears were threatening to fall, she clenched her fists in anger, and walked away, deciding to take the stairs to flee the unwanted guest._

 _« Wait, please! » She heard from behind her as she opened the door leading to the stairway._

 _She didn't take the time to look back and kept on walking, knowing the older woman was following her._

 _« Wait Please! » She insisted and grabbed Arizona's arm._

 _The blonde turned back in the middle of the stairs and looked at her with a death glare._

 _« Leave me alone, right now, for your own sake. » Arizona warned her._

 _« What's wrong with you? » Caitlin asked, shocked by the violent words she heard._

 _« You must be kidding, right? » Arizona laughed sarcastically. « You don't get to talk to me that way. You don't get to talk to me at all! »_

 _« Look your words... »_

 _« She's right Mom... » April said as she joined her mother in the stairwell. She had seen the unfortunate meeting as she was getting out of a supply closet and had followed them._

 _« April... Finally you're here! » Caitlin smiled, walking to her daughter but stopped in her tracks when the red head asked her to stop by raising her hand in front of her._

 _« I don't know what happened, but leave her out of it, please. » April said, knowing Arizona was upset. « What are you doing here by the way? Did anything happen? »_

 _They had talked more than once about their mother and April knew Arizona wasn't ready to forgive her for giving up on her. It had been the beginning of a painful series of events that destroyed the young woman._

 _« What happened is that you weren't giving us any news for months! You didn't even take our calls, your dad and I were worried. »_

 _« I told you not to come. I'm okay. »_

 _Witnessing the scene as if she wasn't a part of it, Arizona tried to understand what was going on._

 _« April, why did you do this? Why did you fly across the country to join ... You had a place in Boston! »_

 _« My sister! You can say it. Arizona is my sister, and I'm a grown up. I can do whatever I want. » April yelled. « I needed her to be a part of my life. I needed her and Tim, but it was too late. Because of you! »_

 _« Stop it! » Arizona screamed. « Whatever is going on between you both, leave me out of it. I'm done wondering who my mother was and why she left us for such a long time. So please, don't ever try to be around me, and go to hell... »_

 _« Arizona wait... » April pleaded. « I don't want her to ruin everything between us. »_

 _Caitlin Kepner was having a hard time recognizing her daughter. She had always been brilliant and a discrete girl. And here she was, standing for herself._

 _« Well after what you told me about her, I was sure she was going to have a bad influence on you, regarding her ...lifestyle... » Caitlin suddenly stated, making the two sisters turn their heads toward her._

 _« What is she talking about? » Arizona concernedly asked April who was shocked after her mother's bitter words._

 _« She told me about your accident and so I learned about your lesbian lover and the child you were trying to have out of wedlock... » Caitlin spoke before April. « It's an abomination and a sin. »_

 _« Shut up Mother! I'm sorry Arizona... » April said, tears in her eyes. « I explained to her why I wanted to be there for you after your accident and everything. That's one of the reasons I cut her off. She's been awful and I didn't recognize her... »_

 _Arizona was aware Caitlin knew she and April were getting closer, but she didn't know that until now that April had told her a lot of things about her and Tim. Because the young resident was between two stools, wanting secretly to bring her mother and her long lost daughter together._

 _Arizona nervously scratched her neck, closing her eyes to avoid the disgusted face her mother was giving her. It was too much._

 _She now had a real reason to hate her guts._

 _« I'm sorry April, it's not your fault. It took me time, but I realized you were just a victim in all this mess. But she's your mother, and she seems to care about you. So I get it if you want her in your life. It's okay. I will never ask you to choose between me and her. » Arizona explained with a sad smile. « I grew up without her, lucky for me because she wouldn't have accepted me as I am. But you're not her and I know that. »_

 _Tears were now rolling down both on their faces, and as if she hadn't caused enough problems, Caitlin decided to push harder._

 _« If you are in the situation you are today, it's only because of your choices... » she said, coldly looking at the daughter she gave up so many years ago. « It was god's will... »_

 _Swallowing hard so as not to answer by spreading venom, Arizona closed her eyes, and breathed deeply. She had to do something to get away, and she knew what she had to do._

 _« I will see you later. » She finally said, putting a hand on April's shoulder and climbing the rest of the stairs before running away through the first door she found._

 _She needed air, she needed to get out of this hospital. She needed to run away, far away from here._

 _And on that whim she decided to leave everything behind her._

 _Leaving the pain, fleeing the past, getting out of that nightmare she was stuck in for ages._

 _She didn't know what was going to happen, and she didn't care._

 _After all, Caitlin was surely right, she had caused all that chaos in her life, causing pain and loss to her loved ones._

 _It was over. She wouldn't look back_


	14. Familly matters

**AN:/ Hey guys!**  
 **Sorry! I know this update is very late...**  
 **So here it is!**  
 **I'm going to write shorter chapter and update more often. What do you think?**  
 **Should be easier for eveybody : Me, my amazing beta Shy Alien. And It should be better for you too!**

 **Hope you'll enjoy it.**  
 **Let me know what you think and leave a review! I love to read them!**

 **Have a nice reading!**

...

She was nervously drumming her fingers on the armrest of the uncomfortable chair she had been sitting in for almost an hour and a half, scrolling on her phone without really paying attention to what she was actually doing. She wanted time to move faster and it was killing her to feel so useless; to be so close to her yet so far away.

This hospital definitely needed to change its furniture. It was hard and cold, anything but what you need when you are waiting for a consult or for news about a loved one undergoing a surgery. Smirking, she thought 'her' hospital was better back in LA.

She had been directed here, to the ortho ward when she had presented herself at the front desk, offering the receptionist an uncomfortable smile. It was a quiet department for sure. There was of course a lot people coming and going, but it lacked the rush. Everything was in order and the hospital staff was at work. She had never taken the time to look around in LA, she was always being paged for an emergency or a consult.

Of course everything else seemed quiet to a fellow of trauma surgery. She spent most of her time out of the block in the ER with it's electric atmosphere, always working under pressure and stress.

So, it was definitely too quiet for her. Maybe when she would go back, she would make time to take a tour of the hospital she had been working in for years, and try to rediscover it with a new angle.

When she arrived in Seattle a few hours earlier, she was still under the shock of Teddy's revelation. She knew that Alex had taken the first plane to see her as soon as he had been aware of Arizona's whereabouts and she had done the exact same thing as well. She had not taken the time to warn her boss, just calling in from the airport, pretending to leave for a family emergency.

Of course she believed Alex and Teddy who had tried to hold her back.

She had listened to what they had to say to her, not really remembering every detail because her thoughts had been blurred by the shocking news, and even if they had repeated everything they said several times, she would have been unable to comprehend anything.

Arizona was alive, and apparently okay, it was the only thing that mattered to her. And as Alex had told her, she had asked directly for Dr. Torres when she had arrived at the reception desk where a really polite nurse had informed her that Dr. Torres wouldn't be here before 9 and that she should take an appointment to meet her.

She had insisted that she needed to see her and that it was a personal matter, so the nurse had indicated her where she could find the head of orthopedics' office and here she was, waiting for the woman whose existence she was unaware of a few hours before but who was key in finding her sister now.

Finally placing her phone in her pocket, she raised her head, and noticed she wasn't alone anymore in that waiting room.

There was a couple in front of her, quietly settled side by side. The man was reading a newspaper while the woman was simply looking at the daily life of the hospital going on around them, a tired smile on her face.

They seemed to be in their sixties and were dressed really elegantly. The white bearded man was wearing a tailored suit. It was a grey, really classy and it fitted him perfectly.

He was wearing glasses and was totally focused on reading.

She could see that he had blue eyes that were totally opposite to those of the woman sitting next to him; whom she assumed was his wife. The woman had soulful dark brown eyes and her gaze was really sweet. She had a soft smile at the corner of her mouth and she was tenderly squeezing the man's forearm.

The woman's tan skin made her think that she could be Hispanic, or maybe Arabic, or whatever... She was a really beautiful and distinguished woman.

Her parents were nothing like them. Her father was a sweet man, owner of a family factory on the east coast. He was a hard worker and had dedicated his life to his family.

She loved him, and respected him. He was the kindest person on earth, always ready to help people in need, like her mother, in a way.

But where her father was modern and open minded, her mother was way more conservative and that was the problem. Since what happened between Arizona and her, April had lost the little respect she had for her mother.

Of course she loved her, but that was it. She couldn't stand the way she thought, the words she had used, and above all she didn't understand her.

But she hadn't cut her off, listening to her father's advice and not wanting to lose the relationship she had with him, she had kept some minimum contact that she could with her mother and was trying to get along with her during her visitations.

« Would you like a coffee? » a voice said as April was totally lost in her thoughts.

She blinked her eyes a few times and looked around her, discovering it was the woman in front of her who was talking to her.

« I'm sorry... What did you say? »

« I was going to get coffee. Would you like one? » The woman repeated.

« Oh... Yes, thank you... » April replied, receiving a bright smile from the older woman.

« I'll be right back. » She said, standing up and exiting the room, leaving a surprised April behind. Not only did the woman seem really warm and sweet, but she was also caring.

« She's addicted to coffee... » The man said, making April turn her gaze to him. « She already had one just before we arrived, and here she is, needing another one... »

Not really knowing what to do or say, April smiled at him awkwardly and nodded. She wasn't usually comfortable talking with strangers, and the circumstances of her presence in the hospital weren't helping her feel at ease either.

« You're waiting for Dr. Torres. Are you? » The man asked, apparently needing to talk.

« Yes, that's right. » April replied, still uncomfortable.

« We are too. She's a great doctor. Have you ever met her? »

« No, not yet, but I have heard that she is really... competent... » the redhead replied.

« She is... » The man said, putting his newspaper on the seat next to him, proudly smiling. « She is amazing. »

...

Callie opened her eyes suddenly, woken up by a short but loud noise. Laying on her back a little frozen by the sudden bang, she blinked several times before relaxing her body by stretching it and turning on her side. Arizona's hand that was resting on her stomach fell on the mattress but it didn't wake her up.

Callie smiled tenderly at the sight in front of her. Arizona was in deep sleep, her head smashed on the pillow, her mouth slightly open and was emanating little snores.

They were not loud or annoying, they were almost soothing and very regular, almost like the purring of a cat.

The two of them had fallen asleep quietly after a passionate make out session. As attracted as they were to each other, they had decided not to take the plunge and they hadn't gone further than kissing and cuddling.

And it had been intense and enough, at least for the moment. After all the revelations and the beginning of their relationship, Callie knew it was better this way. They have all the time in the world to learn more about each other, day after day, and they would breakthrough sooner rather than later.

For now, Callie was happy, and lost in her thoughts, she was smiling silly, happy to feel this way again.

« I don't like being stared at when I'm sleeping... » Arizona grumbled, outing Callie from her reverie.

« I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up... » Callie apologized as Arizona raised her head and rested it on her elbow.

« I was joking... » She smiled at the brunette and at that moment, Callie's heartrate accelerated.

That smile was making her weak. It was sweet, playful and it softened Arizona's face and that was the most beautiful thing she had seen in quite some time.

« Hi... » The blonde said, leaning in and shyly kissing her cheek. « You slept okay? »

« Great... » Callie whispered, lingering the contact of those pink lips against her flesh.

Wrapping her arm around Arizona's back, she brushed her nose against hers and kissed her on the lips, with a bright smile on her face.

« Hi... » Callie said.

She looked in Arizona's piercing blue eyes for a moment, not really knowing what to say or what to do. The moments they had shared the night before had been the most intimate they had been together even if it hadn't been sexual. Both women had felt the connection they were sharing that had attracted them to each other in the first place.

« I have to be at the hospital at 9, Bailey will be waiting for me. » Arizona pouted, sitting on the edge of the bed. « She's on my back, I can't miss it... »

« Don't worry, I have an appointment with Avery at 9:15 anyway. » Callie explained as she checked the time on her phone. « And it's only 7.30 so … we can go for breakfast ...if you're up for it. »

Smiling, Arizona rolled her eyes. Callie was avoiding her gaze, her tone sounding unsure about the blonde's answer.

« Maybe... » She smirked, which made the ortho surgeon raise her head, disappointment all over her face.

« Maybe? » Callie repeated.

« Yeah, my schedule is kind of insane right now. So I'll get back to you... » Arizona said, trying to keep her poker face on.

« Oh... Okay. I understand. I will call you later then... » Callie replied, blushing and grabbing her shoes placed at the foot of the bed.

« Callie... » Arizona whispered, grabbing the brunette's hand before she could stand up. « I was just kidding... »

Knitting her eyebrows for a quarter of a second, Callie turned her head to the side, a little ashamed to have been unable to read Arizona's joke. But the feeling was quickly erased as the blonde offered her a bright smile that made Callie's heart beat faster and as a world class surgeon that she was, she needed to look at her chest to be sure it wasn't really noticeable.

« I'm going to fresh up a little. I'll be right back. » Arizona stated, waking up slowly and grabbing her crutch to get to the bathroom. Unfortunately one of the crutches fell down and naturally, Callie ran to get it from the floor.

« It's okay! Don't... » Arizona yelled, trying to stop Callie but it was too late.

Callie got back up and handed it to Arizona who avoided her gaze for a second.

« Hey, what's wrong? » She immediately worried, noticing the shift in Arizona's mood.

« I can do it on my own Callie... » She replied coldly.

Callie was taken aback by Arizona's reaction and gasped a little, felling reproach in the blonde's voice. Everything had been great between them and she wasn't expecting such a negative twist.

« Sorry... » Callie mumbled, simply taking off her hand from the crutch and stepping back. She walked to the corner of the room where there was a couch and sat on it, feeling uncomfortable.

Arizona's gaze was the same as the one on the first few days she met her, almost aggressive and really distant and it was something she thought was out of the picture now.

Still standing and knowing she had overreacted, Arizona looked at the ground, feeling guilty but determined to talk.

« I'm sorry... Please... Don't be mad... » Arizona pleaded, finally sitting back on the bed. « I'm such an idiot... »

Callie stood back up and walked towards her, kneeling in front of the blonde who was trying to keep it together. She was biting her lip, knowing she needed to explain to Callie the reason of that reaction.

« I just wanted to help. I'm sorry if you think it was something else. » Callie explained, taking Arizona's hand in hers.

« It's not you. It's me... » Arizona explained. « I told you I was socially damaged and that I didn't know how to interact normally... That's true. I'm working on it but there are still some little issues. But this was different. »

« You want to talk about it? »

« It's just... I feel so stupid because I am a doctor and I should know that having the amputation was for my own good... But since the crash, I can't stand to be assisted for the simple daily tasks, like grabbing a crutch. I've been stuck in a hospital bed, then helped by nurses and friends for everything that it became suffocating. I know that it was done with the best intentions, but when it happens every day for everything you're doing, it kills you from the inside. So I had been really awful towards everybody because I didn't know how to simply explain it. I don't want to be like that anymore. I have no problem with the fact that I have a disability now, but I don't want pity from people... »

« I wasn't pitying you... » Callie stated.

« I know... But it's an old habit of self-protection. It can come back around from time to time, so please, know that I'm sorry, in advance... » Arizona apologized sadly. She knew the dark side of her personality and even if she was able to let it go most of the times, she still had the tendency to over react sometimes.

« I thought that we were over the 'I'm sorry' thing... » Callie smirked, trying to convince Arizona that she didn't have to feel sorry. « And about helping you, I hope you'll understand that it had nothing to do with the fact that you have lost a leg. It's in my nature to help people. I've been raised like that. I need to help the people I care about. »

Arizona gently squeezed her hand, feeling really emotional by the words she just heard. Callie was so caring and patient with her. She wasn't used to being in a sentimental relationship like this with a woman. As far as she remembered, even if she had enjoyed some of her past relationship, even with Annie, the sweetness and support she was seeing in Callie's eye had no equal.

« And I care about you. A lot. » Callie insisted as she sat on the bed next to Arizona and locked her eyes with the blonde's. « So I hope we'll be able to keep this open heart communication between us, right? »

« That's what I'm doing naturally with you Callie. » Arizona replied, relieved to be able to talk to her lover so easily.

« That's perfect. So! Let's get ready for that breakfast I promised you! »

…...

Jo Wilson was reviewing some charts on the nurse's desk in front her mentor's office. It was the part of her job that she hated the most, but it had to be done and she knew it would make Callie happy. And if Dr. Torres was happy, she would probably let her scrub in for more serious and unusual cases. And apparently, there were going to be a lot of patients today, guessing with the amount of people waiting for her this morning.

But for the moment, the only thing that mattered was the file she wasn't able to open on the tablet and the error message was getting on her nerves.

« Come on! » the young fellow pleaded, her teeth clenched. « Don't do this to me... Not now... »

« Something wrong Wilson? » A voice made her raise her head in surprise.

« There's always something wrong with Wilson. » a second voice made the both of them turn their heads to see Addison.

« Dr. Montgomery, hello... » Jo replied, annoyed by the older woman's joke. She was used to it whenever Addison was visiting her mentor, but she didn't really appreciate it.

« Hi... Oh, and hi to you young stranger... » Addison replied, looking at Jackson Avery with a flirty smirk. « Who are you? »

« I'm Jackson Avery. I'm working with Dr. Torres on her project. » He replied, clearing his throat, feeling nervous by Addison's presence. « It's an honor to meet you Dr. Montgomery. Your reputation precedes you. »

« You're a sweet talker... And you have amazing eyes, and you're too young. But my biggest concern is that I'm married. » Addison teased the young man who blushed. « I was looking for your boss. Is she here? »

« No, she's supposed to get here around 9. So you can wait for her if you want. » Jo replied, still focused on the tablet and pointing towards the waiting room.

Addison looked at the people settled and suddenly smiled.

« Mr. and Mrs. Torres! » She said, walking to the elder couple who was sitting in the room, quietly settled.

« Oh my god, Addison! What are you doing here, dear? » Lucia Torres said, standing up, quickly followed by her husband.

« It's been a long time! » Addison said, opening her arms and embracing Callie's mother.

Even if they hadn't seen each other many times, Addison had immediately bonded with Callie's parents. Since Callie arrived in Seattle for her residency, the two women had become friends even if Addison was already an attending.

As she wasn't close to her own family, she had been a little skeptical at the beginning when Callie had talked about her parents and how supportive they were. Leaving Miami had been a huge step in her life and living so far from them was complicated.

So Lucia and Carlos Torres came to see their daughter regularly all the way to the other side of the country. She was becoming one of the most promising orthopedic surgeons after all and that is how they had met her best friend, Addison. They had invited her several times for Christmas and whenever Callie visited and she had always loved to be a part of the trip, feeling like a member of that united family.

« What are you doing here? » She asked the couple.

« We can ask you the same! Aren't you supposed to be in Los Angeles? And about us, we're visiting Calliope as a surprise. It's been a long time since we've seen her. » Carlos explained.

« I'm here for work, so I took some time out to spend it with my best friend! » Addison replied. « I had dinner with her last night! »

« I hope she's not working too much. She's been pretty stressed over her trial lately. » Lucia worried.

« It's about to happen. Apparently, she and her team are working on it. But, believe me, she's making time for herself and she's not only busy with work lately. » Addison smirked.

« What are you trying to say? » Carlos raised one eyebrow. « Is there something going on? »

« Carlos... » Lucia warned her husband.

As a very protective father, Carlos Torres always worried about his daughter's terrible track record in her sentimental life.

He had been there after her divorces and when she had ended things with Erica Hahn. He knew his daughter was a really romantic woman and that she gave everything that she had when she was in a romantic relationship.

There was no grey for Calliope Iphigenia Torres when it came to love. She was all in, she was falling hard and every time till now, she had ended up heart broken and she hadn't even learnt any lessons from her past involvements.

« Is she dating someone? » The older man asked Addison with concern in his voice.

« Carlos, it's none of your business! » Lucia tried to make her husband cool down.

« Of course it is! She doesn't need distraction right now! She has to focus on her research! » Carlos almost yelled. « She always falls for losers! She deserves a real partner by her side, someone who will love her unconditionally, someone who will be there in the good and bad moments, and above all, a person who will have the same expectations from life as her. But she also needs someone who will be as amazing as her, which is not easy! »

Smirking, Addison, couldn't help but think Callie had the best parents in the world. Something she had never felt for her parents for sure.

« Don't worry Mr. T, She's in good hands, and she's happy. » She said, putting a friendly hand on the man's shoulder. « And if you'll excuse me, I have a consult with my very rich patient, so I have to go. »

« Wait Addison! » Carlos tried to call her back but she didn't turn back.

As Lucia was sitting back, she smiled awkwardly at April who hadn't missed even a single piece of the conversation.

« I'm sorry... » She apologized to the younger woman as Carlos sat next to her, grumbling incomprehensible words through clenched teeth. « He's a little over protective over our daughter... »

« I have to be! She might be the smartest and most brilliant surgeon, but she's a fool when she's in love... »

« Carlos Torres! Cállate Por favor! » Lucia insisted, giving a death glare to her husband. « You're not alone here! »

« You... You're right... » Carlos cleared his throat then looked at April with embarrassment. « I'm really sorry Miss... »

« It's okay, really... » April replied, still not getting what's going on. « You don't have to apologize... »

…...

It was the first time they were doing it, and both of them were very nervous.

It was something they had already done, even together, but not since they were a little more intimate and it was what felt weird to them.

They didn't want to bring attention on them, entering the hospital doors together, but after spending the night together, it wasn't easy for them to get away from each other.

After their heartfelt talk earlier, they were closer than ever, and on their ride to the hospital, Arizona's hand never left Callie's thigh. They had laughed, talked, even sang in the car and now in front of the giant glass door, they were embarrassed.

« I have to go to Bailey's office, but I don't know where it is. » Arizona explained.

« Oh, it's not so far from mine. » Callie replied, a bright smile on her face. « So you can follow me and I'll show you. »

« Okay... » Arizona said, unsure about how to act around Callie in the hospital. She wanted to take her hand and to kiss her so badly, but she knew it wasn't a good idea. So when Callie was about to pass the door, Arizona remained frozen, lost in her thoughts.

« Are you coming? » Callie laughed at the strange expression on the blonde face.

« I... We should keep our distance... Shouldn't we? »

« Arizona... No one is going to look at us... » Callie smiled. « You can come with me, it's not the first time we'll be seen together... »

« I know... » The blonde smiled awkwardly before following Callie through the hallways.

Looking around her, she tried to stay a little away from Callie, thinking she was already the center of the hospital gossip mill.

« It's open... » Callie informed her, too busy watching everything around her.

« What? »

« The doors of the elevator! » Callie smiled at the goofiness on her blonde's face. « Hey, don't make that face, it's okay... »

« I know... I just... I just don't want to embarrass you in any way... » Arizona explained. « I mean, I don't want your friends or colleagues to … I don't want you to feel uncomfortable. I'll keep my mouth shut, and I won't do anything weird. »

« What are you talking about? » Callie asked, not really getting the point of Arizona's stress.

« We don't even know what's going between us, and I don't want to ... »

« You're talking about people finding out about us? » The brunette asked as the ring indicated the doors opening and she received a nod from Arizona who followed her out of the elevator. « Well, don't worry about that. I don't care about their gossip, I'm over it. I can do whatever I want, it doesn't concern anyone here. At all... »

Arizona smiled, walking slightly behind Callie. She was relieved to hear such a statement from Callie. She seemed all in the relationship and not concerned about other people's weird looks or disapproval.

« Everybody around here knows about my pathetic love life, so I guess when they notice ... »

Stopping in the middle of the corridor, Callie turned in an instant, facing Arizona who almost bumped into her.

« Hey! » the blonde interjected.

« What are they going to notice exactly? » Callie asked, receiving a puzzled look from Arizona. « I mean, what are people supposed to notice... something like we're dating or something? »

She asked Arizona the question, looking at the ground to avoid her questioning gaze. If she had been asking herself what Arizona and she were in the past days, she now needed some label on it. But she almost regretted asking it, knowing Arizona could be so unpredictable some times.

« I don't know... » The blonde replied. « Are we dating? »

« I guess we are... Aren't we? » Callie raised her head a little and her eyes locked with Arizona's who was clearly uncomfortable at the moment.

« We are! » She suddenly replied, nodding firmly. « We totally are. And if I'm asked by one of your colleagues, should I say it? »

« Why would they ask you that? »

« Because some of them already asked me... »

« Seriously? » Callie asked, stopping her movement in the middle of the hallway. « What the hell... »

She didn't finish her sentence when Arizona got to her, which immediately worried the blonde. Had she said too much in her attempt to joke about the situation? For sure Amelia had asked her if she was falling for Callie and she had told her a part of the truth. She also knew that some of her friends had been teasing her days ago and it had bothered her, so she had surely crossed a line by revealing that she had talked about it with anybody.

« I'm sorry... » Arizona mumbled, feeling uncomfortable. But as she pronounced those words, looking at Callie with worry, she noticed that she wasn't listening to her and that a bright smile was drawing on her face.

« What are you doing here? » Callie yelled, walking faster towards a bunch of people who were sitting in front of her office, apparently waiting for her.

« Mija! » Carlos Torres said, opening his arms to embrace his daughter, quickly followed by his wife.

Looking from far, Arizona didn't take long to understand who the couple was. She remembered the pictures she had seen at Callie's apartment. She smiled tenderly while remaining away from the family reunion. It was right in front of her, something she never really had and that she would never live, she was sure of that.

« What are you doing here guys! » Callie said, pulling away from her parents embrace.

« We wanted to see you as you're too busy to come to Miami, or give us call... » Carlos lightly reproached, in a teasing mood.

« We missed our daughter, that's all. » Lucia Torres added.

« I missed you too. » Callie replied, hugging her mother back

Taking advantage of the outpouring of feelings, Arizona tried to walk to Bailey's office where she was expected, without attracting attention. She wanted Callie to enjoy the moment and of course, there was no way she was going to meet her parents, it was way too soon.

But as she reached them, doing everything she can not to cross Callie's eyes, Carlos Torres took a step towards her and gave her his hand to shake.

« Nice to meet you, I'm Carlos Torres. »

Immediately raising her head, Callie cut him off. « Dad, what are you doing? »

« Nothing mija. I'm just greeting this young lady who was walking with you. » Carlos said, looking directly into his daughter's eyes.

There was an awkward silence and Callie didn't want to make Arizona uncomfortable. She knew how her father could be.

« And you are? »

« I... uuh... I'm Ar... » Arizona mumbled, feeling Carlos' inquisitive look on her.

« Dad, what are you doing? » Callie insisted, clenching her teeth in annoyance. How her father had been able to suspect there was something going on between her and the blonde was beyond her. He might have seen them walking in the hallway, but how could he have guessed the nature of their relationship.

And as all those questions jostled in her mind, she noticed that Arizona's face had turned white.

« Hey, it's okay, he's just messing with you... » Callie told her, surprised by the strength of Arizona's reaction. « Dad please... »

Callie gave her father a death glare, warning him to keep his mouth shut when they were all interrupted by a little voice coming from behind Lucia's back.

« Hi... » the younger redhead woman shyly said, waving her hand discreetly.

« Hi... » Callie replied, looking from head to toe at April. « Do we have an appointment? »

« Actually I'm here to see Dr. Robbins. » April replied, crossing the look of her sister who was gulping, her face still so pale.

The emotion was palpable, Arizona almost in a state of shock, April restraining her tears.

She had promised herself not to cry over her long lost sister but the moment was too emotional.

« Hi... » Arizona replied without a hint of emotion in her voice.

Where she had been surprised and a little scared to see Alex after leaving him without any news from her for almost two years, she was relieved and even moved to see her younger sibling in front of her.

« What's going on? » Lucia asked slowly to Callie, not willing to interrupt anything.

« I don't know... » Callie confessed, trying to read any expression on Arizona's face.

« I have to go, Bailey is waiting for me. » Arizona mumbled, staring at April for a moment before trying to walk away.

« Arizona? Wait! » Callie said, immediately worried by the blonde's attempted escape. She was acting the way she used to before her and Callie became closer.

She tried to grab her wrist but failed to restrain her.

« Arizona! Do not walk away from me! » Callie insisted making the blonde shiver and then stop just in front Miranda's office.

« Can somebody explain to me what's going on? « Carlos Torres broke the uncomfortable silence as April passed in front of him, tears in her eyes.

The mix of emotions was too strong for the two sisters, between Arizona's guilty shame and April's bitter happiness to see her sister alive after so long.

« Calliope? » Lucia called her daughter who was also lost between the surprise to see her parents and what was happening to Arizona.

« I'm fine Callie. » Arizona finally spoke, turning toward Callie. « Go and spend time with your parents. »

« Are you sure everything is okay? » Callie tenderly asked, coming closer to Arizona who had plastered what she thought was a confident smile on her face.

« Yeah, I have a consult with Bailey... »

« I know... »

« She's going to be mad... » Arizona said, no more able to restrain the tears she had been holding.

« I will stay with you... » Callie stated, not wanting to leave her so vulnerable. She knew how unpredictable Arizona could be when she was on edge, and the unexpected visit from the younger woman seemed to have upset her strongly.

She leaned in and lightly brushed Arizona's cheek with her thumb to reassure her she would be there for her.

« Please, just enjoy the time with your parents. I'm okay. » Arizona tried to reason with Callie.

« Don't worry about that right now. I just want to be sure you're alright and that you'd tell me if anything was bothering you. » Callie insisted looking directly in confused blue eyes.

« We will talk about it later okay? » Arizona suggested, feeling April's eyes on her from far. « I have to go now... »

« Call me when you're done. Okay? »

« Okay... »

Looking at Arizona joining Bailey who had just appeared at the end of the hallway, Callie let escape a breath she didn't know she was holding.

Here they were, once again acting with too much caution towards each other but this time it felt more natural.

Arizona didn't seem to mind Callie's worries about her and she was happy to notice that.

Now, she had a lot going on. She had patients to see, Jackson Avery to work with, and her parents to deal with, not counting that mysterious woman who was now leaving her floor without looking back, walking too fast.

Not thinking twice, Callie followed her, passing her parents who didn't have any idea about what was going on.

« Miss, Please, Wait! » She yelled as she reached her, not wanting to grab her arm and maybe create an unexpected reaction.

April stopped and turned immediately towards a surprised Callie. « I'm sorry, I should have called her first, but I ... »

Feeling the emotion in the younger woman's voice, Callie decided she wouldn't push her. The reunion with Arizona had upset both of them and she supposed she would need some time to process it.

« Don't apologize. » Callie said, offering April a compassionate smile. « I'm Callie Torres, nice to meet you. »

« I'm April Kepner. »

« Oh, so you're Arizona's sister! » Callie genuinely replied. « Her reaction makes sense now. »

« How do you know who I am to her? » April asked in disbelief. So Arizona was talking about her to a perfect stranger. From what she knew, Callie Torres was just the contact that would help her locate Arizona in Seattle, but apparently she was more than that.

Back in the day when Arizona was in LA, she never mentioned to anyone they were related, except to her close friends or colleagues. So how this woman, she knew for a few weeks, could be aware about her existence.

« We've been talking. » Callie replied. « A lot actually. About our lives, our family and friends. I don't know everything but she told me about her younger sister. »

A little taken aback by the revelation, April eyes went wide and finally she shrugged. « I thought you were just in charge of a prosthetic trial she's in. Seems like you're more than that. »

« It's not the right place to talk about that. But here is my card. I'd like to talk with you more. And I'm sure Arizona would too. So how about we meet tonight at the pub across the street? You can't miss it, it's the only one around. »

« I don't know... »

« I'll be there at 8. I'll try to bring Arizona with me. » Callie insisted. « I will leave you two alone if you would like that. »

« It's not a good idea... »

« Let's give it a try. Please. »

« I... I'll let you know. »


	15. Put a word on it

**AN : / Hey guys!**

 **As promised, this chapter is updater faster than the las ones.**  
 **I really hope you're going to like it. I don't have a lot to say today. I'm really trying to write during the few breaks I've got at work.**  
 **I have a pretty stressfull job, so this is just a little escape I enjoy when I can.**

 **So, will Arizona and April be able to talk?**  
 **That' what you're going to read in that chapter, which as usual was corrected by my beta / friend Shy Alien .**  
 **Let me know what you thing about the turn the story is taking.**  
 **Reviews are always welcome and neede ^^!**

 **Have a pleasant reading!**

 **...**

She knew she was going to have a long day. She knew that but she didn't know how it was going to end. During her long morning work hours, she didn't have lot of time to think about everything she had lived earlier, but now she was on her way to have lunch with her parents.

Of course she was happy to see them, she missed them a lot and they hadn't been able to see each other for several months. But this surprise visit was badly timed.

She knew her father would ask her hundreds of questions, and that thought was already making her worried just before she arrived at their table. He knew something was up, and he wasn't going to let it go so easily.

« Sorry, I'm late. I've had a lot of patients to see and a meeting. »

« Don't be sorry Calliope, We know you are busy. You're a surgeon after all, you save lives every day. » Lucia Torres greeted her daughter with a tight hug, quickly imitated by her husband.

« How are you Mija? » Carlos continued as the family settled around the table.

« I'm busy for sure. Things are going great for our trial. We're hoping everything will go well. » Callie smiled, taking the menu the waitress gave her.

« It's going to work sweetie. We're very proud of you. » Lucia confessed, looking at her daughter with a sincere smile.

« This prosthetic and the functions it can perform, is going to change the daily life of thousands of people if we can make it work. » Callie explained. « And the team is so great, everybody is working so hard. »

« You are amazing sweetie. » Lucia congratulated her daughter.

« So professionally, everything is great. But what about your life though, Mija? » Carlos suddenly asked out of nowhere.

Callie rolled her eyes. Carlos wasn't in the mood to waste time and was jumping right to the point. She was about to get his usual interrogation and surely one of his sanctimonious speeches.

« I'm great. I don't have a lot of time to do anything other than work, and I'm really sorry I wasn't able to be with you last Christmas. » Callie smiled, trying to deflect the conversation to some other topic, hoping her mother will talk about Aria or anything else.

« Have you met someone? » Carlos directly asked.

« Carlos Torres! » Lucia gave a death glare to her husband.

« Well, at least, you don't beat around the bush... » Callie sighed in exasperation.

The waitress' arrival allowed the three of them to avoid the subject as they ordered their lunch.  
Callie didn't want to talk about her relationship with Arizona. It was too soon, and she didn't want her father to interfere in any way. But her father had felt that something was going on and he wasn't going to give up.

The blonde had her family matter to deal with today, so bringing her intrusive father in the equation wouldn't be a great idea at all. She would do her best to keep Arizona away from the conversation, and even more, to keep her away from her father.

« So, is there anybody in your life? » Carlos insisted, ignoring Lucia's warning.

« Carlos, I swear to god, if you don't stop immediately, me and Calliope are going to leave you alone here and head to some quiet place where we can eat in peace! » his wife threatened.

« Actually, yes Dad, I met someone. » Callie replied. « It's kind of new, so there's not a lot to say. And it's not something I want to talk about right now. »

She smiled proudly, hoping she'd have taken her father by surprise and that he wouldn't dare to ask any more questions.

« Is it that blonde women from this morning, the one you seemed so worried about? »

« Yes, it's her. »

« So, who is she? »

« I'm not going to do this right now dad... »

« I'm not asking that to bother you Calliope. I'm doing it, because I don't want you to rush in a relationship without thinking twice... Remember last... "

« Dad! I know I screwed up big time. I know my personal life is a disaster for now. But I don't need your blessing or your advice. I told you this is really new, we are just dating for the moment, getting to know each other. »

« I'd like to meet her. » Carlos stated. « And I'm not taking no for an answer. »

« There's no way that's going to happen Dad. She's not like everybody and I don't want you to put any kind of pressure on her. I don't know how long it's going to last between us, a month, a year or forever, but I know that I feel good around her. She makes me feel something other than bitterness, sadness and pain. » Callie said, her voice breaking because of the onslaught of emotions. « I want to build something with her even if I have no idea how we might end up. She's very sensitive and I won't put her in a situation where you are going to bully her. I won't allow that. And I'm going to ask you to respect that. »

« But... »

« There's no but! When the time comes, IF it comes, I'd be more than happy to introduce her to you both properly. But not right now. Now, I'm here to spend some quality time with my parents, and that's what we're going to do! »

Receiving a silent smirk from his wife, Carlos rolled his eyes, shrugging in irritation as Callie sighed in relief, happy to squash her father.

...

After her session with Bailey which unrolled normally, Arizona found herself sitting in the locker room. She had swam for more than an hour after her workout with Miranda, trying to clear her mind about April's arrival. She needed to keep her mind busy, but it hadn't worked for a long time.

Soon enough, she began to think how disappointed in herself she had been to have reacted the way she had, but it was done. But as usual, she had preferred to go away when she could have just ripped the band aid off.

She had to see her sister; that she was sure of. Of course she had missed her during her runaway. She had created a real relationship with her and she loved her. But seeing her so suddenly in front of her made her realize one more time, the impact of her fleeing on her friends, and that was something she had managed to avoid for a long time. That feeling of guilt towards the people she had left behind wasn't easy to handle. She had been selfish in a way, and it was hard to admit.

Sitting on the bench, she had her phone in her hand, reading the latest text she got from Callie.

 _ **I hope your session was okay. I talked to April quickly this morning. If you're up for it, we can meet her at Joe's tonight. C XoXo**_

It was something she hadn't expected to read but Callie had done the right thing. If she hadn't, April could have been on a plane, flying back to L.A and maybe she was.

All these thoughts and uncertainties were driving Arizona crazy and it was not good. It was always like this that all her dark moments began, and she was doing everything she could not to spin in circles, trying to use some tricks her former shrink had told her.

« Hey! What are you doing here? » A voice made her jump. « Now that I know there's a swimming pool here, you can be sure I'm going to use it! »  
It was Amelia who was now sitting next to her, putting her backpack in front of her.

« I had quite a day... I've been operating on a man for 7 hours, I need to relax... »

Arizona who hadn't really listening to her just smiled in return. She had no idea why Amelia was always trying to be friendly with her but she liked the woman. She was funny, sincere and truthful, she could use someone like her to talk to.

« Are you okay? » Amelia suddenly asked worried, touching the blonde's arm. « Oh my god, you're freezing! »

« I'm okay. I was just... thinking... » Arizona replied, shaking her head as she tried to get back to reality. She was still wearing her bathing suit and had been sitting here for a long time now. She had lost track of the time.

Amelia handed her a hoodie which was just by her side. « Okay... And what were you thinking about? Because you seemed very ... »

« I'm seeing my sister tonight. » Arizona cut her off.

« Oh... She's in town? "

« Yeah... »

« You want to talk about it? » Amelia ventured, knowing Arizona wasn't easy to read.

« Not really, it's just I haven't seen her in a long time, and I don't really know what to say to her. And I'm tired of speaking. » Arizona confessed.

« Are you upset with her? Or is she upset with you? "

« It's... complicated, but the last time we spoke, we were good. » Arizona let a nostalgic smile cross her face.

« So it shouldn't be so hard to catch up! » Amelia advised Arizona. « Just sit with her and talk about your respective lives. I know how awkward it can be to deal with siblings who don't understand you. I have two sisters like that... But we are really good at pretending when we see each other on big occasions like Christmas, or Thanksgiving... »

« You have a big family apparently. » Arizona stated.

« Yeah... They're all married, with children. And I'm the little black duck. » Amelia joked.

« It's great to have family around... » Arizona said, as it was something she had never really known.

« You know what, I don't really want to swim right now... What about I take you out for lunch and we keep talking about our twisted sisters? » Amelia suggested, noticing the sadness in Arizona's mood.

« I don't want you to change your plans for me... »

« Arizona... I'm offering! »

« I... I don't...» Arizona mumbled, lost between the need to change her ideas and her dark thoughts.

« Come on! »

« Okay... But you let me pick the place! »

...

It had been nearly 8 hours since she had texted Arizona and almost 11 since she last saw her.

But it didn't mean anything right? She had to remain optimistic and hope everything was going to be okay. After all, she couldn't do anything more at the moment.

She was sitting in a booth at Joe's where she was waiting for something to happen. Waiting for the woman she was dating and her sister to show up.  
It was 7:50 PM and she wasn't feeling well, nervously taping the table.

After all, Arizona was upset this morning. So she knew she would need some time alone to process everything that happened. But she hadn't texted her back, so now she wasn't really sure if either of the sisters would show up.  
Arizona wouldn't run away, she was sure of that now. But sometimes, in a little, well-hidden corner of her mind, Callie had this irrational feeling that she could do it again. She had left everything one time, so why not do it again? Especially considering the circumstances. She didn't really know a lot about Arizona's relationship with April, but it seemed a little complicated.

But this time, Arizona wouldn't run, she didn't want to. So when she finally showed up at Joe's door, Callie was so lost in her doubtful thoughts and she didn't notice her.  
The blonde walked to the table trying to catch Callie's gaze and when it happened, a relieved bright smile appeared on her worried face.

« Hey... » Arizona shyly greeted her, a little ashamed about not answering Callie's text. « I'm sorry I didn't answer. But I had to... »

She didn't end her sentence and sat next to Callie, moving her hands as she tried to express what she felt.

« I figured. » Callie said, grabbing her hand and intertwining their fingers. « You don't need to tell me. It's normal, it was a big surprise. »

« Well, I wasn't the only one who had unexpected guests waiting for me. » Arizona replied, relaxed by Callie's softness.

« Yeah, pretty crazy right? » Callie replied, not really sure how to lead the conversation after that.

« I spend the afternoon with Amelia. She's really fun. We talked about Hopkins and stuff. » Arizona tried to explain.

« You don't need to give an explanation. I'm glad you were with someone though. »

« So... you talked to her. » Arizona changed the subject getting straight to the point.

« I managed to catch her before she left. » Callie explained. « So I figure she needed time to process after seeing you too. I gave her my card and told her to come here at 8, as I texted you. »

Arizona was nodding, concentrating on Callie's word, waiting for the rest, but as the brunette hadn't exchanged a lot of words with April, there wasn't a lot to say.  
« Are you mad I talked to her? »

« I don't think so. You had the guts I didn't have. She doesn't deserve the reaction I showed her this morning. I'm the only one to blame here, and here again, I ran away... "

« Well it was a little awkward after all. My parents showed out of nowhere and my father... Well he did what he always does, be intrusive and inquisitive... So I can understand. You both felt uncomfortable at that moment. » Callie replied.

« What did she tell you? »

« Not much. She was surprised I knew about her, and she said something like 'I must be more than your doctor'. » Callie smirked. Was it so obvious to other people that she and Arizona were a thing?

« And she's right. » Arizona replied genuinely, her eyes locked with Callie's who couldn't help but blush.

Feeling emotional and needing to feel close to Callie, to help her face the eventual meeting with her sister, Arizona leaned in and grabbed Callie's face between her hands, planting a kiss on her lips softly. Callie immediately accepted the kiss and wrapped her arms around the shorter woman back, holding her for dear life, as she buried her face in the crook of her neck.

« I wasn't going to disappear on you, you know that right? » Arizona whispered in her ear, feeling the embrace tightening.

« I know, but I thought you were going to hate me because I interfered between you and April. » Callie confessed. « I didn't mean to force you two to talk or anything. »

« Callie I know that. » Arizona reassured. « But I also know that you have thought about me running away, haven't you? »

Nodding, Callie broke the embrace and was about to apologize when Arizona cut her off. « And you have every right to, knowing my track record. But I'm here now, and I'm glad you're giving me the strength I need to talk to April, really. I would not have had the courage to do it alone. »

« I... You have no idea what it means to me. » Callie smiled big at Arizona's confession. « I just want to be here for you and to help. »

« Thank you... »

Arizona captured Callie's lips one more time in a deeper kiss.

This was it. Callie was just perfect. She seemed to understand Arizona perfectly, and her reactions were always the good ones since they were dating.  
A few steps away, unsure she was at the right place, April opened the door of the pub and glanced around, looking for Callie. And there she saw the brunette kissing her sister.

Not really surprised; she figured that Callie must be someone important for her as soon as the brunette told her she knew who she was.  
Smiling, she took a few seconds to observe Arizona from far.

She hadn't really changed in two years. Her hair were longer, she seemed to have lost a few pounds, but there was no big change in her silhouette. She was reassured and scared at the same time and she was wondering how the conversation was going to end.

The two women were now talking, Callie having wrapped a protective arm behind Arizona's back.  
April was ready to talk now, and even if she had a lot of questions, even if the pain of Arizona's disappearance had left a deep wound in her heart, she needed to be with her right now.

« You think she's will come? » Arizona ventured.

« I have no idea. She told me she will let me know but ... »

« Hey! » April softly interrupted them and made them raise their heads at the same time.

Callie remained neutral, nodding and standing up to welcome April. « It's nice to finally see you here. »

« I wouldn't have missed it. » April replied, more firmly, shaking Callie's hand.

Arizona was still sitting, taken aback by April's silent arrival. She thought she had a little more time to debrief everything to Callie, but she had to react quickly, not wanting to ruin everything one more time. She gathered her courage, swallowing the knot she felt forming in her throat and took a deep breath as she stood up.

Immediately, April pulled her in the most desperate embrace. She wrapped her arms around her sister's neck, holding her for life, not able to restrain her sobs. Her hands grabbed the fabric of Arizona's hoodie so strongly that Arizona had to bow her ark to keep her balance.

Upset by the strength of the emotion she felt through her body at the same time, Arizona reciprocated the gesture and hugged April strongly.

« I'm so sorry April... » were the only words she was able to mumble between the tears that were rolling down her cheeks.

Feeling April freeing her from her hold, Arizona gulped under the emotion, looking at her sister who was trying to wipe away her tears of joy.

« Would you like something to drink? » Callie asked as nobody was speaking.

« Yes! » April replied, blessing Callie for easing the silence. « I'd have a beer please. »

« Okay, then 3 beers? » Callie asked Arizona who remained standing. « You okay? »

« Yeah... A beer would be awesome. »

Leaving the two sisters, Callie headed towards the bar, a little tense by Arizona's awkward reaction.

« Let's sit. » April suggested, as the two of them settled without a word. « I want to say some things without you interrupting me. Okay? »

« Okay... »

« I want you to know that I'm thrilled and relieved to have found you. » April began under Arizona's concentrated gaze. « I'm so happy you're alive Arizona. You have no idea. But I also want you to know that I'm mad! I'm so upset with you that … »

Shaking her head trying to gather her words, April felt the anger taking control of her emotions.

« You left me! Us! All your friends and family back in LA, without turning back! I know you were under a lot of pressure, I know that. I know you weren't in a good place and everything, but I was there for you. Teddy, Alex, Stephanie and even Maggie. We were there for you. We should have helped you Arizona. »

Coming back with the beers, Callie put them slowly on the table, feeling she'd better go to let April talk freely.

« I'm gonna go and let you two catch up... » Callie said, about to leave, when Arizona grabbed her wrist.

« Please... don't... »

Remembering Arizona's earlier words, Callie looked at April to get her agreement. She didn't want to impose herself and was ready to leave.  
« You can stay if you want to... » April said.

Callie sat back next to Arizona, putting her hand on her thigh in support.

« I was worried as hell. Every day I was waiting for some police officer to call me to tell me you were dead... » April continued to express her bitterness. « It was so... And In a way I couldn't blame you because I knew what happened the day before and that was the last thing you needed to live. »

« April... »

« I wouldn't have imagined for a second she'd tell you those horrible things. I mean... She was... She is very ... »

« You don't have to apologize for that woman. You're not like her. And I can't rationally explain everything to you, but what's done is done. I left, period. » Arizona cut April.

Callie, silently sitting next to Arizona was trying to understand everything. The conversation was now more intimate and was focused on a particular event apparently, and she deduced they were talking about their mother, noting Arizona's sealed expression right now.  
April swallowed hard and grabbed her beer taking a large sip of it. She had always been sure Arizona ran away because of what happened that fateful day in the stairwell.

« And, you can't imagine how glad I am that you're here. I can only hope that you will forgive me one day, and I hope you will, because you are my family and I know how important that is. I don't want to lose time talking about the past. I let it happen and look what, it almost ruined my life and I thought I lost everything. » Arizona continued, tears appearing in her blue eyes. « And I'm so happy you found me. Because if you hadn't, I don't know what I would have done. »

Callie who was drinking her beer, stopped, when she noticed Arizona was now talking to her with so much emotions in her eyes. She froze for a moment, her beer still against her mouth.

« Oh no... I shouldn't say that with so much solemnity... » Arizona broke the silence which Callie had created. « You know what? Forget about it... I... So, April, I hope you will allow me to be a part of your life one day, and forgive me. »

"I have forgiven you already Arizona. I'm just...I'm just mad at you because you should have told us you were safe. That's all. I could understand you needing to be on your own, that you needed some kind of radical cut in your life, but you should have warned us."

As April was talking, Callie was still motionless, gasping at Arizona's words. How can she do that to her right now? Sharing such intense words in the middle of her reunion with her sister.

"I've never learned to deal with my emotions normally April, since I was a kid and my father died everything was hard and nobody was here for me, except Tim. But he was a kid too. We did the best we could with what we thought we knew."

"I know..." April replied sadly. "And all I want now, is for you to swear to me that you won't do that ever again! And not only to me but to anyone, because it's not fair and it's too hard. I don't wish you to undergo that feeling of powerlessness. It's unbearable."

"I'm sorry... » Arizona repeated, emotional. "I don't know what else to say."

"Maybe you should stop apologizing."

"You're right... So maybe we should celebrate?" Arizona ventured. "Because I don't want to keep avoiding you and I don't want to regret anything from now on. I want to move forward, and forget about my shitty past for good!"

"I missed you Arizona." the younger woman said.

"I missed you too."

Raising their drinks with teary eyes, the two sisters noticed Callie was not really following the conversation.

"Callie?" Arizona worried. "Are you okay?"

"Hum, yeah, I'm great..." Callie confessed, raising her bottle too as Arizona leaned into her lightly, needing a physical contact. Something was upsetting Callie but she didn't know what.

"So, I just have a question. Why are you here in Seattle?" April asked, not having any idea how Arizona ended up here. "Have you two been together for a long time? You came here to be with your girlfriend?"

"It's a long story, not really interesting..." Arizona tried to stop the conversation not wanting to think about her two years on the street.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to be intrusive or anything... But you are together, aren't you?"

"Yes, we totally are! Callie is my girlfriend." Arizona proudly said, taking Callie's hand in hers, making her blush. "It's recent but it's miraculous."

"I'm happy for you!" April said excitedly, feeling happy for her sister. « I'm so happy you found someone after everything... "

« "I ... I need to go to the bathroom..." Callie said as she felt expecting eyes on her from Arizona and her sister.  
"Are you okay?" Arizona was now worried as Callie didn't say a word.

"Yeah, I'll be right back."

Callie stood up and walked quickly to Joe's bathroom. She needed to take a deep breath and be alone for a minute.  
Laying her hands on the edge of the sink as soon as the doors opened, she opened the taps and let it flow.  
She felt a little silly for her reaction, but she didn't want to stop the talk between Arizona and April. They were really communicating even if April had expressed her anger, they seemed to be ready to start fresh and it was a really good thing, but what was turning in her head were Arizona's word.

The blonde had been so affirmative and had used such strong words that Callie didn't really know how to react.  
She was flattered but at the same time it was scaring her a little. She had never been used to hearing her boyfriend or girlfriend, even her two ex-husbands, talk about her that way. And she knew Arizona wasn't used to it too regarding what she heard about Annie's behavior towards her.  
So was it real or was it just something Arizona said in the moment, carried away by the joy of seeing April?

« Callie? » Arizona said, entering the room, opening the door slowly to face the brunette she was looking for. « Is everything okay? »

« Yeah, I just needed to freshen up a little... » Callie replied, trying to hide her emotions.

« Did I do, or say something? Because you're acting weird since April arrived? Or are you uncomfortable to be here? I should have let you go... I'm sorry, but I needed you by my side to... »

« Arizona... it's not that. Believe me. I wouldn't want to be anywhere else... »

« So what is it? »

« It's just... You told April we were girlfriends. You called me your girlfriend. So I need to know... Am I your girlfriend? »

« She asked me if you were my girlfriend and I answered yes because it's the truth. Would you want me to say something else? Because saying you're my date doesn't sound good. »

« But we just said this morning that we were dating. Girlfriend is something else. It's another step, isn't it? »

« I was just answering her question Callie. If you want I can be precise that we're not girlfriends that we are just dating, I don't care. If it makes you more comfortable. »

« Actually I'd prefer that... »

« Oh... Okay, so I'm going to tell April that. »

Arizona remained shocked by Callie's request. Was it just a semantical problem or was there something more. Why giving their relationship a real status seemed so complicated?

She shrugged and bit her lips, thinking quickly how to react without making Callie feel her soreness.

« I'm going back to April. Join us whenever you're ready. »

« Arizona, wait... » Callie replied by grabbing the blonde's wrist. « I don't mean it that way... God... Why is everything so hard to express around you! »

« I don't want to embarrass you Callie, that's all. » Arizona explained. « I've done it in the past, I don't want to make the same mistake again. »

« What are you talking about? »

« When I was with Annie, you heard what Addison said... I was a fool. I thought we were at the same stage in our relationship, I was totally a dupe. I embarrassed her, she didn't want to be with me and... »

« Stop it! » Callie suddenly ordered. « Don't compare me to that woman, please! She didn't care about you. I care about you. »

« But what is this about? »

« I... I'm not used to hearing the person I'm dating talk about me with such kind words. » Callie confessed. « And it's been a very long day, with my parents, your sister. And you're dealing with it really great. There was a time when I was walking on eggshells to not push you too much. And now it's me who is reacting so weirdly, being on edge. »

« Hey, it's okay... » Arizona replied, coming closer to Callie and raising her chin to meet her eyes. « We are so messed up that we are not able to deal with our emotions apparently. Me with my chaotic life and you with your painful past love stories... » Arizona smiled at her.

« We are kind of messed up... » Callie finally laughed.

« And we are going to fix it, together, Okay? » The blonde stated.

« Look at you, so wise and sure of yourself. The roles are totally reversing... » Callie almost sighed.

« Yeah, they totally are... » Arizona smirked, kissing Callie's cheek and taking her hand to guide her out of the bathroom. « But you'll get used to it, I'm always right. »

« I hate you... » Callie joked.

« Because I'm right, and I'm Awesome. »

Making their way to the booth where April was waiting for them, they were interrupted by the ring of Callie's phone.

« I'm sorry, I have to take this. It's the chief. » Callie apologized receiving an understanding smile from Arizona who joined her sister.

« Hello chief! » Callie Greeted. » What Can I help you with? Yes, I know, of course, why? You're kidding right?... Why would they want … WHAT? »


	16. Dazed and Confused

**AN : / Hey guys!**

 **I'm really happy to introduce this 16th chapter. I hope you'll like it.**  
 **So what's in this chapter? We'll get to know everything about the phone call Callie received, we'll heard about a little piece od Arizona's past again and somme other little talks.**  
 **I'll be introducing a new character too in the next chapter. I know there's a lot of people you have just read about throught flash back or phone conversation, but you'll see them again.**  
 **Each of them will play a bigger part of the story sooner or later, such as Maggie we're going to hear about in that chapter.**

 **My beta was Shy Alien one more time. your excellent work and wonderful help are essential to me... thanks again!**

 **Thanks you all for your support. It's really motivating and especially your reviews help me knowing if I'm keeping the story interesting.**  
 **SO IF YOU READ THE STORY AND YOU LIKE IT, PLEASE REVIEW IT.**  
 **The next chapter is almost done, so stay tuned!**

 _Flasbacks are in italic._

 **...**

 _« I'm sorry, I have to take this. It's the chief. » Callie apologized receiving an understanding smile from Arizona who joined her sister._

 _« Hello chief! » Callie greeted. » What can I help you with? Yes, I know it, of course, why? You're kidding right? Why would they want…? WHAT? »_

…...

« That's a picture I took when we were celebrating Alex's birthday. You know him, he didn't want to celebrate it as usual, but Maggie insisted. » April explained, showing her sister some pictures.

« What does Maggie has to do with celebrating Alex's birthday? » Arizona asked, visibly shocked by April's revelation, as she looked at the pictures on her sister's phone. « Isn't she supposed to be abroad? »

« Actually no. She settled in L.A more than a year ago. She took a full time job at the hospital and she and Teddy are now co-leading the cardio department. » April précised.

« Oh... » Arizona said, still not believing what she had just heard. It was quite a surprise and an unexpected feeling of frustration made her wince.

« What? »

« Nothing... It's just, I would have never thought that she would do that. She was so invested in her humanitarian mission. » Arizona remembered. « I never visualized her having a regular job. »

« Seems like she changed her mind. » April replied, surprised by her sister's obvious embarrassment.

« Good for her... » Arizona grumbled.

« Is that a problem for you? » April asked, not really getting what was bothering Arizona.

« Not at all. She's a grown up. She can do whatever she wants. » the blonde replied, visibly frustrated.

« I know you two have history, but she had a good reason to settle for good. She's getting married in a couple of months. »

« Really? Maggie Pierce? THE MAGGIE PIERCE who dumped me because I wasn't enough for her to stay? »

« Arizona... »

« The one who wasn't able to delay her trip mission for a week because I ... » Arizona stopped as she saw Callie coming back to them with a big smile on her face.

« I don't know what exactly happened between the two of you, but she didn't dump you. You told her to go and not to look for you. So if there's anyone to blame it's not Maggie. »

« Who's Maggie? » Callie asked, sitting next to Arizona and wrapping her arm around her. She had heard the words 'dumped you' and she didn't like it.

« Just an old friend. » Arizona replied immediately, faking a genuine smile just before giving a 'Shut the hell up' look to her sister. « So what did your chief want? »

Looking at the brunette, Arizona could see she wasn't really relaxed. She was nervously bouncing her knee and was almost avoiding eye contact with her. Something about that call seemed to have upset her, or were there still some issues left after their little talk in the bathroom?

« Oh, nothing important, I'll tell you later... » Callie said, noticing the tension beginning to take over her newly made girlfriend.

Turning her head on the side and then rolling it against her neck, Arizona felt it give a little pop. Grabbing her beer, she emptied it before sighing noisily under Callie's suspicious gaze. No one seemed at ease around the table and the tension was palpable.

Leaning in to Arizona, Callie whispered in her ear « Are you alright? »

« Yeah, of course I'm alright... » Arizona replied with fake enthusiasm. « And you? Everything okay? »

« Great! » Callie lied, wanting the awkwardness to go away as fast as possible. « Another round? Tequila? »

« Yeah, sure... » April replied, followed by a nod from Arizona who needed something stronger right now.

« Okay, so I'll go get them. » the blonde said, standing up and walking to the bar. This will give her a little time to process her visible flutter after hearing about Maggie Pierce's whereabouts.

« What happened? » Callie immediately asked April.

« Nothing, we were just catching up on our colleague and friend from LA. » April explained, not wanting to talk in her sister's place even if she knew that her revelation about Maggie had unsettled her more than she thought it would. « She's sensitive, she's feeling bad to have disappeared on us. That's all, I guess. »

« Who is Maggie? » Callie insisted. She had talked a lot with Arizona about her friends and her family, but she had never heard that name.

« A friend of Arizona's. They met when she was working during a mission in Asia. She took a job at our hospital recently and Arizona didn't know that. »

« Were they close? » Callie asked, her tone more suspicious than ever.

« Yeah, they were friend, so you know... »

…...

 _She was her friend; with benefits sometimes but after all, she was her friend, and right now Arizona wanted to be selfish and to keep her here for herself. She was about to go back to work in a place she didn't really want to be in, she wasn't really used to keeping her prosthetic on for hours and it was still hurting a lot. It was a big step and she needed her by her side._

 _« I can't stay and you know that! You know they need me there Arizona! »Maggie repeated to her friend._

 _« Well, I need you too... » Arizona smirked, coming closer to her, letting her towel drop to the floor as she entered the shower._

 _« I can't do this anymore. I told you it was not good for either of us. » Maggie insisted._

 _It was now or never, she needed to go away from the peds surgeon if she wanted to prevent herself from being hurt._

 _« What are you trying to say? That you don't want to be here with me? You'd rather go in that foreign country, risking your life for a bunch of strangers? I need you Maggie, more than they need you. » Arizona lathered._

 _« You're being irrational! » Maggie almost yelled. « And I'm done with... that... »_

 _Waving her hands between the space she was keeping from Arizona, Maggie tried to restrain a tear of sadness which was bitterly tickling the corner of her brown eyes._

 _« I'm done Arizona. I can't keep going. I can't sleep with you once in a while. I'm done waiting for you when you are so self-centered! I have a life and I don't owe you anything! » Maggie reproached._

 _« What's that supposed to mean? »_

 _« It means that I am going because I don't want to get hurt. You're not yourself right now, and I want to do my job and help people who really need help. I can't wait for you to be on the same page as me when it's obvious you haven't grieved Annie. I won't be a rebound girl, I'm better than that. And if you can't accept that... » Maggie wiped the rolling tears from her upset face._

 _« It has always been clear between us Maggie. At least I thought it was... Even years ago when we met... » Arizona recalled._

 _« It was, in the beginning, but... I could fall for you. It's so easy... But I won't because I don't want to expect something I might never have. » Maggie said bitterly._

 _« I don't know what you're talking about? I'm asking you to stay for one more week that's all... I'm going back to work next Monday, and I need you to help me get back to there. You always have a way of making me believe I'm good. » Arizona pleaded._

 _She was about to enter a new life she never thought she would have and she wasn't excited at all. She thought she could to do it only if Maggie would be around to help her as she had done since that fateful crash._

 _« You are good Arizona, and you don't need me to be good. »_

 _« Please... Don't go... Just wait until my first day back at work... » Arizona begged._

 _« I have to go... I'm sorry. » Maggie whispered. « I'm going now that I still can and before we start hating each other for the wrong reasons. »_

 _The cardio surgeon was torn between her own desire to get back to her life and her feelings that she knew were emerging for the blonde. But she knew Arizona would never feel the same way because she was still stuck in the past; months before when her life had slipped through her hand. She couldn't and wouldn't compete with the ghost of Annie._

 _« You know what... forget about it. And forget about me also. I don't want to see you anymore. You said you were done? Great! Guess what, I'm done too! »_

 _…..._

« So what did the chief want? » Arizona asked again as she was back at the table with the second round of drinks. Even though she was ruminating the news of Maggie's wedding internally, she hadn't forgotten the fact that her girlfriend had something on her mind since that call.

« Nothing... » Callie lied, having mixed feelings between the news she had received and the questions running in her mind concerning Maggie. « It was just an update on a patient. »

« An update by the chief, on the phone? » April asked. « Must be an important patient... »

« Yeah, you can say that... » Callie replied grabbing her first shot of tequila and drinking it in one sip.

« Okay... » Arizona said, rolling her eyes. She thought that night was going to be easier after their open heart conversation but there were always new things around the corner and she didn't like it, at all.

She decided to believe that Callie was still uncomfortable since their talk in the bathroom, so she didn't really know what to say or what to do. She thought they had lanced the boil, but apparently something else was bothering her girlfriend. For her part, she was annoyed by April's revelation about Maggie. So to avoid talking about that out loud, she mirrored Callie and drank her tequila in one shot.

« Wow... » April said, looking at the women in front of her, surprised by their new behavior. « So about Maggie, you want me to tell her we're back in touch? »

« Why would you do that? »

« Why would she need that? » Arizona and Callie said at the same time, immediately turning their gaze toward each other in astonishment.

« Because... I don't know. She regularly asks me or Teddy if we have news about you so... » April explained.

« I don't care. Do what you want... Anyway, I don't miss her, and obviously she doesn't miss me... » Arizona grumbled, barely audible for Callie or April. « I'm here with you and Callie tonight, so let's talk about something else. Okay? »

« It's you who keeps bringing her up. » April stated. « Plus you have a girlfriend now, you seem happy and in love, so why would the news of your ex getting married bother you? »

« Your ex? » Callie's eyes bulged at the words used.

« She's not my ex! » Arizona almost yelled, really needing to stop that slippery topic. « What's wrong with you Keps? »

Knowing the nickname would annoy April, Arizona grabbed her sister's glass and drank it under Callie's now frustrated gaze. What she was guessing was right, Maggie wasn't just a friend.

« Talking about exes, there is your ex-husband... » Arizona said, pointing towards the door where Mark Sloan, Meredith and Lexie Grey were standing. Their arrival gave her a perfect excuse to get rid of the Maggie subject.

The trio were looking around the room, searching for a free booth, but all the tables were taken. They decided to settle at the counter when Meredith saw her best friend who was desperately trying to avoid eye contact with her. Even if the dirty blonde had suspected something was going on between Callie and Arizona, she had never known that they were already together. So when she saw them at the same table sitting really close, she rolled her eyes and walked to their table.

« Hi! » She said, greeting the group with a wave.

« Hey! » Callie mumbled. This day was really getting on her nerves, and she wished she was somewhere else. Meredith was going to tease her as usual and she didn't want that at all.

« 'Night Dr. Grey. » Arizona replied with a big smile. « How are you doing? »

« I'm good. And please, it's Meredith. So what about you? What are you doing here tonight? »

« My sister is in town so we're celebrating. » Arizona explained, pointing towards April who nodded shyly.

« Oh, so Callie you're celebrating too? » Meredith looked at her best friend with a teasing gaze.

« Yeah, sure... » Callie managed to say. She knew what Meredith was trying to do and she didn't want to play her game. Knowing that Mark was also here made it worse. The man was not known for his tact and he likes to tease his best friend he was once married to. But the worst situations were when the two of them allied together against Callie.

« And I was just about to leave. » Callie took the parole, already tired of seeing the smirk on Meredith's face.

« Really? Why? » the dirty blonde asked. « You seemed to be having fun, enjoy your night. I'm going back to Mark and Lexie anyway... »

« Hey Torres, what are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be working on your bionic leg or something? » Mark Sloan almost yelled as he joined Meredith before she could go away.

« Hey Mark, what's up? » Callie awkwardly replied.

Knowing Callie all too well, Mark noticed she was uncomfortable and he wasn't fooled by her behavior. He was going to take advantage of the situation for sure.

« Oh, sorry, I didn't know you had company. Hi Blondie! » Mark simply greeted. « Oh, and hello Ma'am... » He added, shaking April's hand.

« Blondie? Really? » Arizona knitted her brows in surprise.

« What you're a blonde right? And it's a good name! » He said seriously. « So what are you three doing here? »

« They're celebrating. » Meredith stated, receiving a dark glare from Callie. « And just so you know Sloan, you owe me a dinner! »

« What? No way! Already? » Mark says as she looks intensely at Callie and Arizona. « That's my girl! Way to go Torres! »

He patted Callie's shoulder strongly and smiled at her. Even if he had lost the bet, he was happy for his best friend.

« You should have told me. » Mark nodded at the brunette.

« Told you what? » Callie questioned, looking back and forth between Meredith and him.

« I should have cancelled that stupid bet and Grey would have owned 'me' dinner. Jeez! I'm supposed to be your best friend right? »

« What are you talking about? » Callie repeated, looking at him.

« We placed bets on how long it would take you to fall for Blondie. » Mark simply stated. « I thought it would take you longer than that. I predicted it would happen after the end of your trial. »

« You must be kidding, right? »

Biting her lips Arizona was trying to prevent her laughter from spilling out. She was looking at Callie struggling, trying not to reveal the truth to her friends but the blush on her cheeks and her mildly irritated tone was betraying her.

« I... It's none of your business! Get the hell away! » She said standing up. « And for your information, Arizona and I are together and if you're not okay with it, I don't care. »

« Hey don't yell at me, it was his idea. He told me he was sure you would never ask her out. » Meredith revealed as Callie gasped. She pushed Meredith lightly, then reaching her ex-husband and slapped the back of his head.

« Ouch! » the taller man feigned pain, smirking at the same time.

« How could you know that I... » Callie grumbled.

« Because you're too easy to read Torres! » Mark replied. « It was so obvious you liked the girl... The other day when you were talking about her, your eyes betrayed you... But you did it sooner than I thought, so I will offer Grey a dinner for her and her husband because you're not able to control yourself. »

« Are you freaking kidding me?! » Callie pushed the hand he had put on her shoulder.

« We should go now Mark. » Meredith stated, knowing Callie was going to make them pay for their incongruous interference. « Have a nice night! »

Squinting in an almost threatening look at her friends walking away, Callie realized she hadn't even looked at Arizona during her discussion with Meredith and Mark. A lot of things had been said, she had confirmed to her friends that she was with Arizona without asking her, and she was now worried.

« So that's was funny to watch. » April laughed.

« Yeah... » Arizona replied, her eyes still wide open.

« I'm sorry, I should have asked you if you were okay with me telling them. » Callie apologized.

« I'm not talking about that... I'm talking about your ex-husband calling me Blondie! » Arizona retorted. « I hate being called that! »

Surprised, Callie froze for a moment, realizing Arizona was just annoyed by the nickname Mark just gave her. Was it the only problem?

« She hated being called that. » April insisted, nodding with a big smile.

« Is that the only thing you're upset about? » Callie worried.

« Isn't that enough for you? » Arizona faked taking offense as Callie understood that she was playing with her.

« Is it just me or are you making fun of me? They were betting behind my back! » Callie retorted. « They're always doing it! »

« Wow! Are you often giving them opportunity to bet on who you're going to ask out? » Arizona asked with the best poker face on.

« What? No, of course not! I mean they're always teasing me, even more since you're around. They knew before me that I wanted to be with you... » Callie confessed. « And now, the whole hospital is going to know it. »

« So what? » April intervened. « Let them talk. It's the same thing in our hospital, they will quickly move on to another topic soon. »

« You're right... » Callie smiled at the red head. Arizona was her girlfriend, it was now established, and none of the rest mattered.

« So let's get back to Maggie... » Callie said, trying to refocus the conversation around the ex she had never heard of before.

« Alright... » April smiled. « I think I'm going to let you guys talk. I'm gonna call a cab and head back to my hotel, I'm exhausted anyway. »

« You sure? » Callie asked. « I didn't mean to make you go… And by the way, I can give you a ride to your hotel if you want. »

« That'd be great! » April replied, smiling at them.

…...

« I will see you tomorrow for lunch? » April asked as she get out of Callie's car and Arizona followed her. « My plane is at 4 so we can spend the day together? »

« Sure... » Arizona smiled emotionally at her. « You have my phone number right? I'll text you the address of my hotel and you can meet me there. »

« Okay. » April replied, feeling as emotional as her sister seemed to be. « Hey, don't make that face! We're not going to lose each other don't worry. »

« I know. » Arizona said, hugging her tightly. « I'm … I will see you tomorrow then. »

She placed a tender kiss on her sister's temple and got back in the car.

The emotions were overwhelming her as Callie began to drive away and Arizona didn't like that. It was one of the things she hated the most, not being able to control her emotions. But right now all her former life had been brought back to her and it was really hard to handle.

When Alex came, they hadn't talked about that stuff. They had just tried to settle for less, making small talks about their lives, but the conversation had been about Alex himself and his life. The blonde was the master of avoidance when it came to her. She knew how to lead a conversation in the way she had decided to, she had all the tricks for that.

But right now, she was just letting her guilt, mixed with the joy of seeing April and being able to work things out with her, take control of her.

« So that went well... » Callie ventured as the blonde stubbornly looked through the window, not wanting to show her tears.

« Yeah. »

« She seems like a good girl. And she cares about you. » Callie continued. « You see, you have people in your life Arizona. You're not alone. »

« You have a lot of people too, like your friend Meredith Grey and your ex-husband. » Arizona replied almost coldly. « And a chief who calls you for some reason... »

« What are you trying to say? » Callie asked, a little surprised by Arizona's tone.

« I don't know, you tell me. »

« What? About the chief? »

« Yeah... »

« I wasn't going to talk about that when you were reuniting with April. » Callie stated. « It was your night. »

« So what did he want? Because you seemed a little tense after his call. » Arizona gave her point of view. « I thought we had put our communication problem aside after our dirty bathroom talk. »

« We have. » Callie confirmed. « It's just that I didn't want to bother you with it, it's not important, and then I heard about Maggie and all the things... »

« Really, you're going to play that card? » Arizona smirked. She knew Callie had guessed that she and Maggie had something at some point.

« Ok. What do you want to know? » She continued. « But after that, I want to know what was that call about. »

« I don't want to know anything special... » Callie Grumbled. « It's just... »

« What? You thought that I only had one woman in my life? Do I have to remind you that even if we do talk a lot, there are still a lot of things you don't know about me? »

« You know what? It doesn't matter... » Callie grumbled, annoyed by Arizona's little game. She hadn't seen this side of her personality for days, and it seemed like it was back.

« No, because I don't want you to hold your tongue only to avoid the Talk. I don't want that anymore. » Arizona replied, deciding to tell Callie what her relationship with Maggie was. « I can't say she was my girlfriend but we were close. We were more like friends with benefits. We met during my first mission. She was the one who guided me back then. We got along very well immediately, which it's not something easy for me, you know... So we had a fling during one of our missions. Nothing serious, just two lonely people needing human contact. And when I settled in LA and I was back with Annie, we kept in touch regularly. After the plane crash and everything, she was the first person to come to me at the hospital. I didn't have any family and she was in the Philippines at the moment, working on a mission. So she took the first plane and she stood with me during all that terrible period. She flew back to the States with me before getting back to her mission. I was in a very dark place back then, and I put all my crap on Teddy and Alex. They were my closest friends and I knew them too well. It was easy for me to blame it on them. I knew what to do or to say to hurt them. I was awful to them. Then Maggie came back to take care of her father who was sick. So she came to see me and she was the only one who was able to squash me. She helped me to tame that new body I was disgusted by. And we had a little fling once again. I was having trouble to bear the people around me but her. And then her father died and she was feeling lonely. So we started to hang out together; going to movies, restaurants... I hooked myself to her like a lifeline, and in a way I think I helped her too. And that's all. »

« That's it? » Callie asked, a little surprised by the end of the story.

« Well yeah. She left for a new mission a few months before I ... » Arizona shrugged. « She told me she couldn't keep doing what was going on between us, she needed her life back after taking care of me. »

« Did you love her? » Callie asked, her cheeks blushing.

« I liked her a lot, but not for the right reasons. I was so self-centered that I took everything I could from her without bothering to ask her how she was. » Arizona explained. « It seems to be a pattern for me. »

A silence took place. Arizona's realization made her sigh loudly. Some ghosts were back in her mind and she didn't like that.

« But I didn't love her. She told me she could have fallen in love with me under different circumstances, but it didn't happen. We'd rather be friends with no benefits than a crappy couple. » Arizona stated

« So she is your Mark, kind of... » Callie suggested

« Are you kidding? No! Teddy was my Mark... » Arizona retorted.

« You slept with Teddy? »

« No! I was talking about the type of relationship, not the 'sex buddy' part... » Arizona précised. « Well, if I really think about it, if you take Teddy and Maggie, the both of them could make my Mark in a way... »

« That sounds weird... » Callie laughed, quickly joined in by Arizona. It was a pure moment of release and they both needed it after the epic day they had just spent.

The tension seemed to have gone away when Arizona came back to the point.

« So now, I want to know. » She asked her girlfriend, who was wiping tears caused by laughing from her eyes while still driving.

« Well, the chief wanted to tell me that a person from the Sapling Foundation wanted to talk to me. » Callie said, her throat suddenly feeling dry as hell. She had to announce it now and she hoped it wouldn't be the last nail in the coffin.

« What's the Sapling Foundation? » Arizona questioned.

« They're organize conferences all around the country. » Callie barely explained.

« Oh, so they wanted you to present one? »

« Yeah... » Callie mumbled.

« And that's good right? »

« I hate speaking in public. It's one of the hardest things for me... » The brunette confessed, already feeling her stomach turning upside down by only thinking about it.

« Really? Oh... » Arizona wondered.

« Yeah... »

« Let's hope there won't be too many people. » Arizona replied, trying to reassure her girlfriend.

As she pronounced those words, they arrived at the hotel and Callie parked her car.

Waiting for her girlfriend to do or say something, Arizona began to feel the awkwardness getting bigger.

« So thank you for the ride. » She shyly said and leaned to kiss Callie's cheek. « I will see you later? »

« What is that? » Callie knitted her brows.

« What is what? »

« Why are you so … distant all of a sudden? »

« I'm not distant. I thought you didn't want to talk more about that, so I was going to give you space. » Arizona explained, feeling something was definitely up.

« It's not just a conference... » Callie said.

« Okay... »

« It's a TED conference... »

Arizona raised her eyebrows, mouth open while nodding. She understood Callie's reaction now. It was like a nightmare come true for a person like her, fearing public speeches.

« Oh my god! That's amazing Callie! »

« It is actually... They want me to present the project about our prosthetic. » Callie précised. « They are really interested in it and they want all the team on stage next month. »

« That's incredible. I'm so happy for you! Your work is going to be known worldwide and you'll get the recognition you deserve! » Arizona excitedly said.

« I need to meet the team in three days in their office. » Callie explained.

« Why are you making that face? It's an amazing opportunity that you have gotten! » Arizona said, taking Callie's hand. « I'll help you if you want. I can help you repeat the speech. I mean I'm not an expert but I can try. »

« The thing is that, it means you might have to be on stage with us, you are the center of the trial... » Callie confessed. « I can't force you to do it Arizona. »

« Oh, I didn't think about that... » Arizona suddenly froze, sighing, letting Callie's hand go.

« That's a huge decision for you. » Callie said. « I don't know how you feel about that, I don't want to push you to do anything you wouldn't feel comfortable doing. »

« I... I can't be the one who keeps you from doing it. It's too important. It's a once in a life time opportunity. »

« That's right, but I can't force you. » Callie sighed. « And it will take place in Los Angeles. »

« Oh, Okay... » Arizona said, understanding Callie aloofness.

Thinking about what that town meant to her and all the ghosts of her past brought back to her mind, Arizona's hand automatically went to scratch her neck, but Callie grabbed it before she could.

« See. I knew it would be hard on you. I won't ask you to do it. I'm going to tell them we're not doing it. »

« Callie you can't. » Arizona protested.

« I can. I am the Head of the project so it's up to me. »

« Maybe you should talk to them first. » Arizona replied. « Take the time to see what they want from you exactly. »

« It would be a waste of time. » Callie insisted.

« I can't take the decision away for you, but it would make your work worldly acknowledged. »

« I get that, but what about you? Are you ready for that? You'll have to go to LA and everything it could mean. » Callie asked her girlfriend.

« So what? »

« You think you're strong enough to do it? » she worried.

« I don't know... » Arizona sincerely replied, her face going blank as she was hit by the meaning of Callie's last words. She opened her mouth to say something but nothing came out. She felt suddenly out of words, realizing what it could mean to go back to the town she once fled.

« I can't ask you to do that. » Callie broke the awkward atmosphere.

« But... You should go and see what they're expecting. » Arizona quickly replied, trying to hide the tsunami of emotions her mind was undergoing.

« Yeah, maybe... »

Swallowing the knot in her throat, Arizona was trying to do everything she could to remain neutral in front of a thoughtful Callie. She knew the darkness was coming back to her and she didn't know if she would be able to fight them.

« I should go now. » She managed to say, outing Callie from her internal dilemma.

The ortho surgeon turned her head to face Arizona who was about to open the door. Waiting for an invitation, she didn't notice Arizona's shift of mood. How could she? The blonde was too used to hiding her weaknesses.

« I can join you if you want... » Callie smirked in an attempt to make Arizona think about something else.

« I'd rather go to sleep now. » Arizona replied, with a calculated fake smile. « I'm exhausted after all the swimming and the emotional roller coaster you know... »

« Are you okay? » Callie began to worry.

« Yeah, I'm good! » Arizona lied. « I'm just... tired. »

« I see. » Callie said, trying to figure out if Arizona was trying to find an escape. « You want me to walk you to your room? »

« It's okay, but thanks. » Arizona replied.

« Okay. So I will see you tomorrow? »

« Sure. »

Smiling, Callie leaned to kiss her girlfriend goodnight, cupping her face softly.

« Good night. » She whispered in the blonde's ear as she left the car without a word and walked to the hotel.

And looking at her girlfriend walking away in the night, Callie sighed, her heart stuck between joy and fear.

…...

Arizona was laying on her bed, eyes lost in the little squares that decorated the ceiling.

Even if she was exhausted after that busy day, she couldn't sleep. She had a lot of things on her mind, and the joy of reuniting with her sisters wasn't enough to take the darks thoughts out of her head.

In the middle of it all, she was feeling guilty to have pushed Callie away. She wasn't sure if her girlfriend had noticed the shift in her, but she knew it was better for her to not be around. In moments like that, Arizona could be cold and even hurtful towards the people she loved. It was her way to cope with her internal struggles. And she didn't want to upset Callie with that.

She wanted her to be happy and proud to have been contacted to do that conference. But right now, she was only thinking about being back in LA.

It was a thing she hadn't really expected to do so soon, and even if she had been able to deal with a lot of her demons lately, it was a little harder than she thought it would be.

The worst thing was that it was not even something she would be forced to do. She didn't know if she had to do it. But it was an eventuality that was impossible for her to handle.

Being back in that town would mean facing people, places, streets that she had tried so hard to get rid of.

« You shouldn't think about that right now... » A voice made her raise her gaze. « You have always done that, and look what it made you do. »

« What the... Tim? »

« Hey sis! » the tall dirty blonde man smiled at her. « It's been a long time. »

« Oh great... » Arizona grumbled.

« Wow, you couldn't be happier to see me! »

« No, because when you're haunting my dreams, it means I'm not okay, and I don't want to feel that way! »

She stood up and walked to the bathroom, opening the tap of the sink before freshening up her face, rubbing her eyes.

« It's not real, it's just a dream » She whispered.

« Sorry... » Tim shrugged, sitting on the bath tub. « But it means you still have to face your past to live a better future, right? »

« I can't talk about that. Not with you... »

« Maybe you should talk with me. » A second voice made her jump.

She turned to face a woman she thought she would never ever see in her dreams again.

« I think it's a sign. » Annie said, walking right in front of Arizona to face her. « You see, everything will always bring you back to me. You can't deny it. »

« What... » Arizona turned her face looking for her brother who was nowhere to be seen.

« You can't forget me Arizona. Even if you think that woman could erase your guilt, it's not possible. » Annie insisted, now inches from a frozen Arizona who was gulping hard. « You had a chance to have a normal life, even without me, but because of your stubbornness, you ruined everything as usual. You ruined your life, you killed me, and you think you can have a second chance? »

« You're not real, it's just a dream... » Arizona whispered to herself, clenching her fist and closing her eyes.

« You're stuck here is with me! » Annie said, pointing her finger to Arizona's head, touching it. « You can run but you can't hide, don't you know it Arizona? I will always be around to remind you about how fucked up you are! »

And that's when Arizona sat up in her hotel bed, breathless, covered in sweat. Her breathing was ragged and she was looking everywhere around her, trying to remember where she was.

« It's not real, it was just a dream. » She managed to say between breaths as she tried to calm down.

« It's not real... a dream... »

Focusing on the mirror on the wall in front of her bed, she swallowed hard, still almost persuaded Annie was going to come from nowhere just like the dream because it had seemed so real.

« It's not real, it's a dream. »

She grabbed her prosthetic and put it on quickly. Grabbing her jeans and her hoodie, she got dressed as quickly as she could, taking her used army backpack.

Sighing, she held the doorknob in her hand and hesitated a moment. She shook her head and she knew she had to get out of this room right now before it would be too late.


	17. The L word

**AN:/ Hey guys!**

 **So here we are, chapter 17 is on line and it's another long one. I didn't plan on that. I remember telling you I'll try to update more regularly by writing shorter chapter... Ah ah ah...**  
 **So thanks to Shy Alien who had work soooo fast, you have this chapter really quickly.  
One more time thanks for your positive and constructive feedback. Reviews are always welcome!**

 **Have a nice reading!**

...

Something was going to happen; something big. She didn't know what or when, but something was going to happen that day and she hated that feeling of uncertainty. It was an uncomfortable feeling she hadn't experienced in a while, but since Arizona had showed up in her life, it was not the first time she was feeling that way. The emotions in her eyes when she had left the car a few hours ago was so upsetting that Callie was lost. It hadn't hit her immediately, although she knew her girlfriend would be a little frustrated after hearing the truth about the phone call.

She hadn't been able to sleep properly, until she had just let the exhaustion take over her body and had finally fallen asleep around 4PM, and she woke up with a start when her alarm clock started ringing 2 hours later.

And immediately that feeling of uncertainty had invaded her mind.

Arizona was upset, so now she was upset too. She didn't want to tell her about the TED conference, but the blonde had felt her emotions knowing there was something she was not telling her. As usual, she had managed to make her talk even if Callie had tried everything to prevent it.

But now she was sitting in her office, waiting for Addison to join her for an improvised brunch. She had a lot of things to do, lot of people to see and too many things worrying her that she needed distraction. And Addison was the best person for that.

« Well, someone seems in a bad mood... » Addison said as she entered the office, carrying a basket.

« Please, don't... » Callie immediately warned her friend before looking with utter disbelief at the object she had in her hand. « What is it? »

« I've went to this wonderful French restaurant yesterday with my patient. And I noticed they provided takeaway service, so I ordered. »

Smiling at her friend's thoughtful gesture, Callie stood up and hugged her. She needed a break and she had the perfect timing.

« Thanks Addie... » she whispered. « I needed that. »

« I figure it would be better than that horrible cafeteria food... And as you told me you couldn't go out... » Addison said, sitting in front of her friend and looked at her in shock. « Oh my god! What happen to you? You look awful! »

Not wanting to argue, Callie didn't answer her friend's cynical remark and sighed deeply.

« Oh, let me guess... » the red headed continued as she displayed the lunch box on the desk. « Papa Torres didn't like your Arizona and you got angry with him... »

« How do you know...? Oh, okay, I understand how he knew now... » Callie grumbled, taking one of the boxes from the basket and opening it. « You talked to him, didn't you? »

« Yeah, I saw your parents yesterday morning. I came to say hello but you were not here and I found them... »

« And of course you told them about me and Arizona... » Callie rolled her eyes.

« I did not! » Addison replied. « Well not exactly. I just told them you were taking time for yourself because they were worried you were working too much. »

« I'm sure you implied some kind of innuendo... » Callie sighed. « I know you too well. »

« Maybe... Whatever... What happened? They didn't get along? » Addison continued.

« Are you serious? They didn't meet her, it's way too soon. They saw her with me and of course after your little speech, my father deduced who Arizona was. » Callie explained.

« Oh, so he gave you a Torres sermon? » Addison prevent herself from smirking, thinking about Carlos Torres concerned face.

« Yeah... »

« So why are you so morose today? Is it just about that? Because I remember you were good at squashing your father back in the days... »

« It's not that... It's just that yesterday had been a really long and emotional day for Arizona and when I left her, I felt like something was of... » Callie explained, still stressed.

« You want to talk about it? »

« Not really... I'm just... I have a feeling that she's back at the emotional state she was in when I first met her. » Callie sadly stated.

« That's to say? »

« Lost... »

…...

It felt so real, so painful that Arizona was almost having trouble admitting it was just a dream, even a few hours after it woke her up in sweat and fear. The sounds of Annie's word were echoing in her head and it was unbearable. Was she back at square one?

And why were these complicated feelings that she hadn't felt in a while, back now? When she thought she was safe.

Running away from the oppressing hotel room had been the only thing she could do at the moment, and her first reaction was to go back to a place she knew all too well in Seattle. Well, it was more a person than a place, but it was the only rational thing that came to her mind.

During her months in the street of that big city, she had quickly learned where she was welcomed and where she better not linger. She had met other homeless people, and just like in her former regular life, there were good and bad people. She had been helped, she had helped.

She couldn't say she had made friends, but some people had been there for her when she was down. Some gave her shelter and clothes when it was too cold outside.

Some had brought her food when she was so down that everything was impossible to do. She had experienced some really dark times, thinking she deserved to end up there.

Some days, she was unable to even stand up from where she had spent the night.

She only walked to her old car and sat in it, waiting for nothing except for the time to pass.

But with him it was different. He had been the only regular person in her life in that troubled period, and right now, lost in Seattle streets, she needed him.

But he was nowhere to be found and it was worrying her. He was the only one who could help her. He was the only one who could find the words that would help her.

She was used to knowing every spot she could find him, but he was not in any of those places. She had looked everywhere but she couldn't find him.

As she was about to give up, when she spotted one of her old acquaintances, standing at the corner of the street. If anyone could tell her where Andrew was, it was him.

…...

Callie was turning around, literally, walking in circle, her hands moving from her hips, to her neck, then to her mouth. She was supposed to work but it was too hard to focus on anything.

« Callie, you should sit down... » Jackson Avery who was with her in the lab advised the surgeon. « You don't know what they expect you to do; is that why you're so nervous? »

« They want to meet me in a few days and we will go from there. But it means that we need to have everything ready. » She explained. « I don't even know how they heard about it, I haven't tried to drag any the media attention. I was waiting for the first test to produce positive results. »

« We can accelerate the process. If Dr. Robbins comes tomorrow instead of our scheduled appointment next week, it can work. The socket is done, the rest of the leg is almost ready, just a few adjustment and we're good to really test it. The processor is working, so let's try it. » the young man stated.

« You're sure? »

« 100 %. I'm going to work all day on it and it should be ready tomorrow, or in two days, in worst case scenario. » He explained. « We can record the first test and you can show them what we're working on. »

« We're talking about the first test. But what if it's not concluding... » Callie remained skeptical. « I can't lead a conference with so little data. »

« We'll work harder on it. And they can postpone their conference as it has not been announced officially. » Jackson stated, trying to ease Callie's apprehension. « So what are you going to do is, go to the meeting you're invited at in two days, and you're going to talk with them, okay? »

« Okay... » Callie replied, not so confidently.

« It's the biggest opportunity we're going to have Dr. Torres. We can't miss it. You have to take the chance! »

« I know. » Callie nodded

« We are almost ready. And we will be ready for the conference, I swear! »

…...

 _« Are you okay? » The young man asked her as she was sitting on the steps of the building._

 _It was early in the morning and it was raining, she had her hood on and her head was bleeding. As he reached her, he already knew she was soaked._

 _He kneeled next to her, still holding his old umbrella._

 _« Oh shit... »_

 _He lift the woman's head with force and he could see that she had been assaulted. Her gaze was lost and unable to focus on anything._

 _« I'm Andrew. Can you tell me your name? »_

 _Receiving no answer, he looked for a tissue in his pocket and tried to wipe the blood from her mouth and her nose._

 _« Can I call someone? You want me to call 911? »_

 _Those words made her react and she immediately shook her head no._

 _« No, please. » She mumbled in a pleading tone. « I just... I just need a minute... »_

 _« Do you have a place to crash? »_

 _Once again the answer was a no._

 _« Alright. So you are going to come with me. I have a place a few blocks away. »_

 _Not able to do anything, she let him lift her up, place her arm around his shoulder. He almost carried her, without a word._

 _They arrived at a place, at the end of a narrow alley. There was almost no light, just the burst of some advertising neon signs._

 _« Can you just wait here for a minute? » he asked, helping her into a sitting position. « I'm going to open the door from the inside._

 _She didn't know if it was a dream or not. The only thing that she was feeling was the physical pain, but above everything else, a darkness was taking over her mind. That feeling of guilt, uselessness and disgust._

 _« It's good, you can come in. » he told her as the door opened._

 _« Oh my god... » Another man said, putting his hand behind his mouth. « What happened to you sweetheart? »_

 _« I found her in the street, she was sitting on the sidewalk... » Andrew explained._

 _« Who did this to you? » The other man asked her._

 _And as she raised her head, dazzled by the artificial light, she thought she had found him._

 _« Tim? Is that you? »_

…...

« Hey, it's Callie... Oh gosh I hate leaving voicemails, I never know if people are listening to them... Whatever... I need to talk to you. I know you must be with April right now, but can you call me when you have a moment? I … I hope... I will see you later. »

Putting her phone back in her lab coat pocket, Callie wasn't really reassured. Arizona hadn't picked her call and she was sure something was up. They weren't used to texting each other. At least Arizona didn't do it. She always had the phone Alex gave her with her, but she barely used it, so it was not a big deal if she didn't pick the call, right?

That's what Callie was saying to herself, trying to reassure herself. She waved her shoulders, releasing the tension she was accumulating since she woke up. It was time for her to announce the news about the call the chief received to her team and knowing Arizona wouldn't be there was saddening her.

« Bailey? What are you doing here? » Callie asked as she noticed her colleague walking in the same direction.

« What are you doing here? » Bailey repeated harshly.

« I was going to the conference room... » Callie replied as coldly as her colleague.

« Well you asked me to come to the meeting too so that's why I'm here... » The shorter woman grumbled.

« I know. Whatever... » Callie said, sighing. She was totally overwhelmed by the events happening around her. She already had a lot of things to deal with in addition to her usual work: her parents, the trial, April and Arizona... She didn't need an extra grumpy Miranda Bailey.

« Is there something wrong? » Bailey softened when she noticed Callie wasn't acting as usual. Something seemed off about her friend's eyes and she wasn't used to seeing her acting this cold.

« No, it's just a news about the trial. » She replied. « It is good news, I think... »

« So why the face? » Miranda worried.

« Nothing... It's just... I'm worried about ...a friend... It's nothing, forget about it. »

« An annoying blue eyed blond kind of friend? » Bailey ventured as she opened the door of the conference room.

« What are you talking about? » Callie asked.

« Yeah, don't fool me Torres... I'm Bailey, I know everything... » the shorter woman smirked.

« I … But how... »

« I know, that's all... » Bailey replied as she sat. « I've been looking at you, the two of you. And I know that something is up. And I noticed Robbins was not her usual self yesterday during our session. »

Surprised that even Miranda had busted them, Callie coughed in embarrassment. It was so obvious to all the people around them that they were attracted to each other that it was scary.

« I tried to call her, but she didn't pick up. » Callie sadly explained.

« And that's why you are making that face? »

« She... I... I think she might be leaving the trial, or disappearing... » Callie confessed, her fears impossible to hide any longer, as Amelia entered the room with a big smile on her face.

« Who's gonna leave the trial? »

« No one! » Bailey immediately replied.

She didn't have any idea what was going on with Arizona, but she knew letting Callie tell everyone wouldn't help. The woman had already been the center of attention regarding her private life and she seemed so on edge that it was not useful to bring the subject on the table.

« Okay... » Amelia replied, sitting at the table. « So what's the good news? »

« It's... » Callie stopped as she felt her phone buzz.

She immediately picked it, she thought it was Arizona who was contacting her.

Hello, it's April Kepner. Could you send me the address of Arizona's hotel? I think she forgot to text me and she's not answering my calls.

Feeling her heartbeat increase in speed suddenly, Callie took a minute to think about her next move, as Jo and Jackson entered the room. It was the last thing she had expected to hear.

« I have to go I'm sorry. » She said walking towards the door. « Jackson already knows, he's going to tell you the good news. »

She walked right out of the room, she needed to get out.

She needed to find her right now. But in her mind, it was already too late. Arizona had surely ran away. The last place she could locate her would be the hotel, so she had to call it.

…...

Life can change in a split of a second sometimes. Or it can be an accumulation of circumstances that lead you where you need to be, or where you belong.

Her life had changed in the last weeks, without her really noticing it. She had a regular place to sleep and was having regular meals. She had reconnected with her sister and Alex, and she had a girlfriend.

A wonderful, amazing, beautiful girlfriend who came in her life when she wasn't waiting for anything.

But old habits die hard, and when she could have just called her to talk to her about her fears and anguish, she had almost run away.

And because of what Andrew told her one day, she had listened to his reason and so she had come back to him hoping that he will make her see reason again.

His life had totally changed since the last time she saw him, nearly 2 months ago. He had met an old friend in a bar who had offered him a job and a place live to in the bar of the hotel he was managing.

Arizona didn't have all the details, but she was in front of the hotel and she had to admit she was impressed.

Even though she was wincing in pain from having to walk for a too long time but, right now, she was impressed. Andrew had finally found a real job, and she was happy for him. After years of life in the street, the former foster kid had a chance to get a real life, away from the nightmare he had lived.

She suddenly felt emotional, her feelings on edge after everything she had lived the day before and the joy to see her friend.

She walked the steps leading to the bar entry and looked at him from far.

He was really handsome, dressed in a white shirt, his hair shorter and well shaved, almost a new man.

She remembered the night he had found her totally drunk in that creepy street, passed out in the coldness of Seattle winter.

 _« I screwed up... I didn't know what else to do... »_

 _« I'm in trouble and I need help... »_

 _« What? » She mumbled._

 _« When something like this happens you call me and you say 'Andrew I'm in trouble and I need help... »_

Taking a big breath, she softly stroked her thigh, trying to ease the pain in her stump, and she walked to the counter with a fake insurance, and sat on a stool in a quiet corner.

He was busy with a client when he turned to grab a bottle and saw her, looking at him with a discrete smile. He nodded and served his client before coming closer.

« What can I get you? » he asked her, as he walked towards her.

« A club soda. » She replied. « Oh, and I don't have any money, so it's on you... »

He didn't reply, grabbing a glass and serving her, with a little zeal, adding ice and a slice of lemon in the beverage.

« So it's on me... » He said as she put the glass in front of her.

« Thanks... » The blonde said, taking a sip of the soda, her eyes still on him. « So it's true... »

« Yep... » He nodded proudly, smiling at her.

« And how does it feel? »

« Great... » Andrew confessed. « It's like a miracle, you know... »

« Actually I do... » She smiled.

« Yeah, I bet you do... I heard about the hot brunette and the clinical trial... » he explained.

« Let me guess... Pitt? » Arizona remembered explaining her situation to the parking lot keeper.

« Yeah... I saw him and of course he told me the good news. » Andrew explained. « He can't keep a secret. »

« It's not a secret at all. » Arizona said. « It's just an unexpected twist. »

« So how does it feel ? » Andrew repeated Arizona's word.

« It feels weird, but good. » She nodded. « And it's kind of scary sometimes. »

« So why are you here... » Andrew asked.

« I needed sav... »

« You're in trouble? Already? » He teased her.

« No, well, not in trouble... I'd rather say I'm the trouble... » Arizona sighed. « I'm just a mess, as usual... »

« You want to talk about it? »

« It's just the same thing again... You know? » Arizona explained. « Everything is good so far, I was able to handle it. I was even feeling good. I thought it was over... I thought I was over it... »

« What happened? »

Andrew was going straight to the point as he always did. It was why she came to him. She knew he wouldn't sugarcoat anything.

« A lot... » Arizona smiled sadly. « A lot, a little too fast... »

« So you bailed... » He cut her off.

« No... I've done what you told me to do... » Arizona said. « I came to see you because I felt lost. I haven't bailed... »

« But you almost did... » Andrew insisted.

« I can't do it anymore... I can't bail. »

« Well, that's good. » He stated. « And I'm glad you came here. »

« I came here to see you but not for... » Arizona tried to explain.

« I know that... You came for your sake, before doing something you would regret. »

« No. I came here because I met the most amazing woman, and I can't do that to her. » She said, feeling butterflies tickling her stomach at the simplest mention of Callie.

« Oh... » Andrew mouthed. « So she managed to catch you? And you're freaking out because of that? »

« No. I freaked out because of my terrible pattern. I don't want to hurt her. » Arizona confessed. « She's amazing, and so perfect... »

« Nobody is perfect Doc, and you know it. »

« I know. So I came to see you so I can maybe … I don't know... » Arizona whispered in embarrassment.

« You have to help me here because I don't understand... »

« I think I'm going back to my old demons... »

« So what's the deal? You had nightmares? » Andrew asked her, trying to get what she was telling him.

« I had a really emotional day and it was back... » Arizona explained under Andrew's questioning gaze. « I thought it was over. I was doing great with all my … problems you know... »

Putting both of his hands on the counter, Andrew bent his head as he exhaled loudly. He knew Arizona was an unstable person, but for the first time since he met her, she was thinking before acting. Which to him meant she wanted to figure her problems out.

« That amazing chick, you want to be with her right? » He stated.

« Yeah... »

« And you're saying you are handling your recurrent anxiety better? »

« I think so... »

« Is there something preventing you from being with her, and by that I mean a physical and real thing. Like a husband, or a wife, or I don't know what... »

« Not really. » Arizona sighed.

« So get your crap together and figure it out! » Andrew firmly stated. « You have your chance here. You can do it. »

« I don't think I'm strong enough to face my past... » Arizona replied.

« What are you talking about? » Andrew snapped at her.

« I was okay. I was working everything out, and somehow, the probability of going to LA came up, and that's when I freaked out and then everything hit me back. » Arizona sighed. « It's a long story... »

« You're just trying to find an escape. » Andrew said.

« What? »

« You can't accept that you can be happy and move on with your life. » Andrew firmly continued. « You are in charge of your life, no one else is. You are just too scared to accept the opportunity to move on. »

« No! I'm not! » Arizona bitterly replied.

« Of course you are! We've spend hours talking Arizona. I know better than anyone what it is like to avoid facing the reality of life. » He said. « You think it's a life to live day by day without any purpose? Well it's not! You have to stop your bullshit and take your life in your hands. That chance will come once, if you don't take it by the horn, someone else will. »

« It's so … I'm trying so hard to have that 'normal' life. It's just not cut out for me. » She tried to express before scratching her neck.

« Here we go... »

« What? »

« Nothing... » Andrew grumbled.

« If you have something to say, just say it... I came here to talk with you about my problems, to have your advice... not to be judged... »

« That's not the point Doc, and you know it. The problem is simple to solve. » Andrew stated. « But you're not ready to do it. »

« Are you kidding me? You think it's that simple to … » Arizona got upset, nervously shaking her hands as tears appeared in her eyes.

« Stop that... I don't want to hear that same old song of yours. I know you've been through a rough path, but it's over. You just need to allow yourself to live your life for you and not for the people you've lost along the road. They're gone now. They won't be here to help you, to love you. » Andrew said. « It's time Arizona. Let your ghosts go and be happy, for once, be selfish and take that second chance you've been offered. »

« What are you trying to say? » Arizona almost yelled.

« What I told you earlier. You're so scared that you're going to make your relationship with that woman fail before it could really evolve. You're so sure that you're going to cause her pain or hurt, or that she's going to let you down. » He tried to explain. « The difference between you and me is that I'm ready to change. You're not. You're choosing the easy way of avoidance. Because that's the whole problem. If you don't try, you'll never know. And that 'normal life' you want so hard, it won't come out of the blue. You have to fight for it. »

Andrew was about to continue his speech when Arizona's phone rang, making her sigh. It was surely Callie calling again, but right now and after all the things Andrew just told her, she couldn't talk to her. She needed time to process.

« What's the problem? » he asked.

« I can't talk to her... » She said, putting her phone on the counter, Andrew immediately grabbed it.

« Hello? » he said taking the call under Arizona's unbelieving eyes.

« Who are you? »

« I'm Andrew. I think you're looking for Arizona. » he continued.

« Yeah, we were supposed to have lunch together... »

« Oh shit! » Arizona remembered her promise to her sister as she tried to get her phone back. « Give it to me! »

« Don't worry, she's waiting for you at the Six Seven Lounge, I'll text you the address. » Andrew said.

« Oh, thanks... »

« You're welcome. Have a nice day! » Andrew smiled and put the phone back on the counter.

« What have you done? » Arizona reproached.

« Was this the woman? »

« No! That was my half-sister... »

« Oh... » Andrew replied with a disappointed tone.

« Yeah, she's in town and I was... »

« Supposed to have lunch with her... don't worry... It's done... » He replied, texting the address to April. « The restaurant is just a block away, and it's on me. »

…...

« Can we have lunch, like normal people and, I don't know... talk to each other? » Meredith Grey asked as she settled with Callie and Christina at a table at the cafeteria.

Receiving a questioning look from the cardio surgeon, Meredith sighed deeply, looking at Callie texting on her phone again.

« What's wrong with her? » Christina asked.

« She got a new girlfriend. » Meredith simply stated, visibly happy to be gossiping right in front of Callie.

« Yeah I know, Sloan told Owen. » Christina replied. « And why is she angry? »

« That, I don't know. »

« So you're happy. Callie Torres is one more time the hot topic in the freaking hospital. » Callie coldly replied, putting her phone on the table. « Come on Yang, I'm sure you have some gross details you want to know. Go ahead... »

« I don't care about your sex life. » Christina said, eating her salad. « It's just that seeing your face and your mood, it's obvious something is going on, and it's not something good apparently. »

« Am I so readable? » Callie asked her friends, her facial expression softening.

« There's only two things that can make you react like that: work, or your relationships... » Meredith explained. « We're used to it. And since you had a good news for work and we don't know a lot of things about you and that woman, we figure that's where the problem is... »

« Oh... So you heard about the TED... »

« Yep »

« Great... Is it possible to keep some privacy in this hospital? » Callie complained.

« How long have you been dating that woman? » Christina kept the conversation going.

« That's none of your business... »

« Well if it's not, don't bring that at this table, being all frustrated and grumpy... » Meredith cut her off.

« It's all new. » Christina remarked. « And you're already like that... »

« What are you trying to say Yang? »

« Maybe you've followed your usual path which is jumping in a relationship blindly without taking a look at the bigger pictures. » Christina shrugged. « Anyway it's not my problem. You can do whatever you want. »

« I'm not jumping into anything... We're just dating. » Callie grumbled.

« She already met her sister. » Meredith whispered which made Callie angrier.

« Just shut up! »

« You see... old habits die hard... » Christina smirked.

« You know what, I didn't ask for your advice... »

« Callie, I think Christina is right. »

« What? »

« When she talked about you not looking at the big picture. »

« And what am I supposed to understand here? »

« I mean, I wish it works out between you two, I really do. But you have to admit that Robbins doesn't seem to be a really stable person. Plus she's the center of an important professional project you are leading. » Meredith explained. « Your relationship with her might be bad timing. »

« You don't know anything about her, so please, just shut up Grey... » Callie said as she stood up. « You're running in circles here. You've been telling me the same thing every time you talked about her. So I'm going to ask you to try to get to know her and see who she really is, or stop talking about her. »

Leaving the cafeteria without eating, Callie left the two surgeons.

« As I told you before, it's not your place to talk to her that way. » Christina said.

« Shut up... »

…...

« So who is Andrew? » April asked her sister as the waitress was serving them.

« He's a friend I met when I got to Seattle. » Arizona vaguely explained.

« Okay... I see you don't want to talk more about it... »

« Because there's nothing more to say. »

Since they settled for their lunch, April knew Arizona wasn't feeling okay. She wasn't able to sit for a few minutes without moving on her chair, she was avoiding eye contact and she was mainly silent. Something had change since the night before, and it wasn't something good seeing how the conversation was going.

« Can I ask you something? » She tried to focus Arizona by grabbing her hand.

« Sure. »

« I was wondering what you did for a living. I mean to eat, to find a place to sleep... Because I know you didn't touch your bank account... »

« April, it's not interesting... »

« I have the right to know... You owe me that. I've been so worried. » April said, on the verge of tears. « I've been asking myself so many questions... So I need answers... »

« I... I've been living in motels, or in my car most of the times. » Arizona tried to explain without getting upset. « I ended up in Seattle by chance. My car broke down and I didn't have enough money to buy another one, so I managed to park it in an industrial area. That's where I slept most of the nights. »

« And what did you do during the day? »

« Nothing... I was surviving, day by day. » Arizona's eyes suddenly became more cold and distant as she looked directly in her sister's eyes. « I woke up in the morning, I walked downtown to meet some friends. We talked a little and I helped some of them when they were injured or sick. So they gave me something to eat or money in exchange. One time, a man came to see me with a nail planted in his eyes. Don't ask me how it happened... It was pretty infected but he didn't want to go to the hospital so I... »

« Stop, I know what you're doing and I don't want to do that. You're just trying to be rude and you hope I'll keep my mouth shut. » April cut her off. « And I don't know why you're mad right now, but it's not only because of my questions. There's something else. »

« What time is your flight? »

« Oh my god... »

Receiving a challenging glance from Arizona, April wanted nothing more than to leave the restaurant but she knew that was exactly what Arizona was trying to do. She was used to it, when the subject was hard on her, Arizona could be bitter and even hurtful.

« At least, you haven't change your game. » She insisted.

« Why would I, look where it brought me. » Arizona faked a smile.

« Did Callie see you like that? Because if you have acted like that with her and she still wants to be with you, you better not let her go. »

They were the words that Arizona didn't want to hear but April had pronounced them. She straightened herself on her chair and began to play with the food in her plate nervously, swallowing bitterly. After all, April was right in a way.

« So there's a problem with Callie... » April sighed, she had unfortunately found the reason Arizona was so weird and almost aggressive. « What is it? »

« I have to go, I'm sorry. » Arizona replied, standing up. « You tell the waitress it's on Andrew Deluca's account. Fly back well... »

« What? » April shook her head. « Where are you going? »

Without further explanation, Arizona grabbed her hoodie and her backpack so fast that April had to run through the restaurant, to catch her.

« Arizona! You're not going to do that! I'm sorry if I pushed you. Please wait! »

The blonde was trying to walk faster, she needed air, she needed to get out of there immediately, but her leg was killing her. As she opened the door, she tried to accelerate her pace but that change in her pace made something block in her prosthetic which made her lose her balance and fall on the sidewalk violently, her face hitting the pavement loudly.

« Oh my god! » April yelled, rushing to her sister's side. A stranger was already trying to help the blonde.

« Are you okay? »

She kneeled down as the passerby helped Arizona turn around. April's heart broke when she saw the expression in her sister's eyes. It was unreadable, like a mix of fears, sadness and exhaustion.

« You're bleeding... » She said softly, her hands holding Arizona's face, examining her from every angle. « It's your eyebrow. »

« Do you want me to call 911? » the man asked April.

« No it's okay, I'm a doctor. I can deal with it. » She explained. « Just help me walk her to this bench please... »

Nodding, the man helped them and they settled on the bench. April thanked him and looked in her purse for her phone.

« I'm going to call an uber and get you to the hospital. Your head hit the ground, and I want you to get a CT. » April said, applying a tissue on Arizona's injury. « It's not a compress but I don't have anything else. »

Tears were now freely rolling on her cheeks and Arizona wasn't able to say even a single word. The last thing she wanted after finding her sister was to fight with her. And then it had almost happened.

In her head, everything was her fault one more time. She knew Callie was worried, April was too, and it was just because of her, as usual.

Swallowing the knot in her throat, she closed her eyes and waited for the internal storm to stop.

…...

« Sorry Dr. Torres, she is not here. My colleague saw her leaving early this morning. » the receptionist explained.

« Oh... Thank you... » Callie replied hanging up the phone.

It was the only thing she thought would make her confidant in the fact that Arizona was still around. She wasn't picking her calls and she wasn't with April. So she hoped Arizona would be in her hotel room mad at her about the conversation they had the night before.

But now she knew that Arizona had left the hotel and she was internally freaking out.

« Dr. Torres! » Jo called her from the end of the hallway where she was standing. « You need to come. »

« What is it? » Callie asked. « You should have paged me if you needed me. What do we have? »

« It's Dr. Robbins, she's in the ER. »

« Oh... » Callie knitted her brows, a little puzzled by the revelation.

« She's okay, but there is a woman with her and she asked me to find you. » Jo explained, as they walked together to the elevator.

« What? Why? Who? » Callie confusedly asked.

« I don't know. » Jo shrugged. « Dr. Robbins is slightly injured, and that woman wanted her to have a CT because she said she fell and hit her head. So Dr. Shepherd did it, and Dr. Robbins is cleared, but the woman with her wanted to talk to you? »

« Who? »

« The woman who came here with Dr. Robbins. »

Trying to focus on the information Jo was giving her, Callie suddenly opened her mouth, understanding Arizona's was in the ER as a patient. It was the only thing she had in her head now, and as soon as the doors opened, she rushed outside. But the good news was she didn't flee.

« Where is she? » She managed to ask to the nurse at the station where Owen Hunt was reviewing some files.

« Who are you talking about? » the nurse asked.

« Robbins, Arizona Robbins. Where is she? » Callie nervously asked.

« Oh, she's right there. » Owen pointed at a bed in front of them. « Amelia just cleared her. »

« Thanks... » Callie smiled at him. « Wilson, you go and check my post op. I need a moment. »

« Okay. » The fellow replied, not really thrilled by her on-going activities.

Looking at Arizona from a distance, Callie took a moment to gather herself. She had a lot of talking to do with her girlfriend, but right now, she just wanted to be with her.

She was relieved to see her, but she was also really upset to see her injured, even if it didn't seem all that bad. And then she was hesitated. After looking for her girlfriend and thinking she was gone. After fearing she was upset or mad at her, she didn't know if Arizona would even want her to be around. But as her nature couldn't be denied, Callie needed to be by her side right now.

And that's here. Behind the desk station, looking at her lightly injured girlfriend, somewhere deep inside of her she realized one thing, but now was not the right time to think about that.

« Hey » she shyly said approaching the stretcher where Arizona was sitting, waiting for the discharge papers.

« Hi! » April replied immediately, before Arizona could say anything. « I brought her here because she can be stubborn and she wouldn't have come on her own. »

« What happened? » Callie asked, still a little worried, lifting Arizona's face and examining her eyebrows. « You had stitches? »

« I... Hum... » Arizona coughed. « It's nothing, I just fell. »

« Her head hit the ground pretty bad, that's why I... » April tried to explain.

« April... »

« Can you give us a minute please? » Callie asked April who nodded in agreement.

« I'm gonna grab a coffee and get the papers. You want something? »

« No Thanks. » Callie smiled and Arizona didn't even answer.

Drawing the curtains around them, Callie joined her hands in front of her mouth, rubbing them nervously against each other. She was trying to find the right words to say to her girlfriend but was more than lost. She didn't know what the other woman had in mind and she didn't want to appear presumptuous.

« It's great you came, a shock to the head is something serious. » the brunette ventured sitting on the bed but keeping a little distance between the two of them. « It's a pretty deep wound... »

« Yeah... » Arizona finally raised her head and looked at Callie. Her eyes were darker than usual. It was a shade of emotion Callie had seen the first time she had talked with her. It was hard to tell what the blonde was thinking but she didn't seem mad.

« I... I tried to call you earlier because I had a meeting with the team about the conference. » Callie explained, trying to get any clue about her girlfriend's state of mind. « And I wanted you to know that we all agreed on the fact that we have to do it. It's bigger than us. But we will do it when everybody, including you, will be ready. And by ready, it means more technically than emotionally. »

The first sign of reaction Callie got from Arizona was a sigh. And for the ortho surgeon, it was obviously a bad sign. Something she didn't want to hear was going to come from her girlfriend's mouth, and she was biting her lip in advance.

« I did something. » Arizona simply said in an evasive tone. « I panicked a little after everything that happened yesterday. I was in my bed, running in circles in my mind and... I felt like I was suffocating. I needed to run away. But that horrible feeling that pushed me to do irreversible things in the past wasn't as strong as I thought it would be this time. I mean, it started the same way, but it... »

Arizona stopped for a moment, nervously clenching her fists as she tried to explain to Callie what she had experienced.

Callie came closer to her, wanting to help her. She put a hand on her girlfriend's back, rubbing supportive and caring circle.

« I had an impulsive need to run in the middle of the night. » Arizona managed to say in a breaking voice which caused Callie to hold her breath for a short time. « I think that seeing April and all the rest, it moved me, you know? »

« So what did you do? » Callie worryingly asked, taking Arizona's hand firmly and holding her gaze with intensity. Blue eyes remained stunned by the emotions shining in the darker ones. There was a hint of worry buried in an ocean of hope and support and it almost made Arizona gulp.

« What did you do Arizona? Where did you go? Why didn't you take my calls? I called your hotel and they told me you left in the middle of the night and... » Callie let all her boundaries fall and let her heart speak freely. « I thought... I thought I'd never see you again, I thought you left without warning... »

« I'm... I'm not going anywhere because I can't do it anymore. » She softly said, closing her eyes as Callie's grip on her hands tightened. « I had to figure all those... things that were driving me crazy and that is what I did. »

« What do you mean? »

« I went to see a guy I know from when I was in the streets... » Arizona tried to explain looking at Callie's puzzled facial expression. « It's not what it sounds like... even if that sounds weird... Anyway, I needed to talk to somebody and I knew he was the right person to go to. »

« Why didn't you talk to me? » Callie asked.

« Because I didn't want to bother you, and because it was an impulsive decision. I was a mess, and Andrew, the guy I talked to, he was the only one whom I could talk to. » Arizona tried to explain.

« Why? »

« Because he knows how to put my head straight. And because I had no one else I could talk to. »

« You should have come to me. I would have done everything and anything I could to help you. » Callie said.

« You know, sometimes It's easier to talk with people who barely know you than to people you love. » Arizona said genuinely without realizing the word that she just pronounced. « I chose the easy way, and I'm so sorry if I hurt you, it was not what it was supposed to ... »

Arizona stopped talking looking at Callie who was almost crying, agape.

« I'll go to LA if I have to. » She claimed. « I owe that to you, and mostly to me. I'll do it. »

Receiving a bright smile from her febrile girlfriend, Arizona knew she was ready to move on with her life, even if there are bump all along the road. It was the beginning of something new.

« And I'm sorry about my apologies, and I am so exhausted of talking and thinking... I just want to live my life. » Arizona emotionally said, a smile curling her rose lips. « And I don't know why I'm just feeling that now, maybe I needed to be pushed to my entrenchment to face all my fucked up past... »

« Arizona... »

« No, let me finish please... » Arizona pleaded, receiving a supportive nod from her girlfriend. « I know you have been worried that I ran, and I'm not gonna lie, I could have if I haven't thought about you. You're the reason I'm here now, and I'm staying because I'm gonna fight to make sure you know that I'm committed to this thing. »

Callie eyes opened wide. It was not the kind of speech she thought she was going to hear. If she was totally honest, she wasn't expecting a speech at all. But she couldn't prevent the smile that enlighten her face, wiping away all the doubts and uncertainties she was experiencing since the morning.

« I... Wow... » The brunette tried to talk. « You were right... you don't know how to interact with people normally. »

Smiling as she approached her lips to her girlfriend's, she could feel her gaze becoming darker, oscillating between doubt and hope.

« Nothing never goes the way I think it would with you, but I kind of like that. » Callie whispered suavely in the blonde's ear, which made her gulp.

Arizona closed her eyes for a second and she felt the sweet taste of Callie's lip on hers. The last 48 hours had been a real emotional rollercoaster for both of them and this accurate moment was making a clean sweep of it in just one kiss.

Breaking the kiss, Callie held Arizona's face between her hands, taking the time to scrutinize every detail of her facial expression just before focusing on her stitches.

« I hope it's a real plastic surgeon who did them. » She simply observed. « It's pretty deep, I think it's going to leave a little scar. »

And at that moment, sitting on a stretcher in the middle of the ER, Arizona had to tell Callie something she never thought she would say again.

« I love you... »

« What? » Callie's jaw almost dropped and her eyes bulged.

« That's all you have to answer? » Arizona half fainted irritation, hiding a little fear that her feelings wouldn't be shared.

« You do?

« I do. » Arizona nodded sincerely, the sweetest smile curling her lips.

« I love you too. »

...

 **AN 2 : / So, what do you think about it? Seems like Arizona is finaly at peace.**  
 **Let me know your thoughts by leaving a review, and feel free to give me your expectations for the next chapters!**


	18. Summit Meeting

**AN:/ Hi guys!**

 **Not a lot to say. This chapter is a fluffy, funny one.**  
 **Hope you'll like it.**

...

The end of the previous day had been really hectic and she was now nervously knocking at her girlfriend's door.

After they confessed their love to each other, the two woman had barely gotten any time to talk.

Just as Callie had replied positively to Arizona's confession and given her the most magic and bright smile she had ever seen, she had been rushed in the OR, victims of a tragic car accident just being brought in.

The ortho surgeon had been busy for several hours of intense surgery on two patients, and she had finished up her work at 1 in the morning.

During that time, Arizona had been discharged and she had spent a few hours with her sister, quietly, just enjoying her presence. They had laughed, they had talked and they were sure that now, they will never lose contact ever. Then it was time for April to leave and Arizona had accompanied her to the airport.

The good bye had been emotional and it had been hard to let the younger woman go. Things between them were clear now, and Arizona had promised her sister that she wouldn't let any day pass without contacting each other.

Back at her hotel, Arizona found herself alone, but this time she wasn't scared. She was feeling at peace and as if something was complete in her life.

She went to the bathroom and looked at herself with a goofy smile. She was in love with Callie and it was amazing. She wasn't scared anymore.

Callie was amazing and she wanted everybody to know how awesome her girlfriend was.

So when her phone buzzed around 9, she thought it was April letting her know that she had landed and was back at her place safely. But instead, she found a text from Callie, and it was the best thing she could think of.

 ** _I'm sorry, I won't be able to see you tonight. I still have a surgery on a victim of the car crash. I don't how long it will last. C._**

 _Don't apologize, it's normal. I will see you tomorrow?_

 ** _Sure! We can have lunch at my place? C._**

 _Great! But I don't know the address. I've only been there one time and it was at night._

 _ **I'll text it to you in the morning. I can't wait to see you. XOXO C.**_

She had went to bed relatively early and she had slept amazingly well. This hadn't happened to her in years. In the morning, when she had slowly opened her eyes after stretching her body, she was already smiling. Everything seemed lighter today and she was feeling alive and free.

And now she was shyly knocking at Callie's door, waiting for the woman who had rocked her world to open it. She was about to knock when the door of the apartment just in front of Callie's opened and Arizona saw a young woman getting out.

« Hi! » She greeted Arizona as she locked the door.

« Hi... » The blonde replied unsurely as she looked closely at her. « Do I know you? »

« Yes, well I've heard of you. I'm Lexie Grey. Meredith Grey's sister. I'm a resident at the hospital. »

« Of course! » Arizona smiled and gave her hand to shake. She was surprised that a resident could afford an apartment in this fancy building. But after all, she didn't know her at all.

« Hey, you forgot your phone! » a man's voice yelled through the door making them both turn their heads as the door opened. « Let me know when you're... »

« Oh... » Arizona said with a smile.

« Blondie! What are you doing here? » Mark Sloan asked her. « You can't get enough of her already, can you? »

« Mark... Don't be gross! » Lexie warned her boyfriend as Arizona almost gasped.

« What happened to your eye? Let me see... » He asked, grabbing Arizona's face between his big hands and raising her chin. « Ouch... Well the stitches aren't so bad... »

At the same time, his pager buzzed and Arizona let escape a relieved sigh.

« Oh crap... » Mark grumbled. « It's a 911... »

He just grabbed Lexie's hand and they ran to the elevator. « See you later Blondie! And don't be too loud please, I need silence to sleep! »

Rolling her eyes, Arizona smiled at the interaction she just had with the ex-husband of her new girlfriend. She found it a little weird that the two of them were living on the same floor, in the same building and somewhere, it annoyed her a little.

Trying not to think more about that detail, she finally knocked at the door. She looked at her clothes quickly and sighed, hearing her girlfriend's footstep coming closer. She was wearing one of her usual ripped pair of jeans, purple and black sneakers she had bought at the thrift store and a dark blue blouse. It was one of the only not casual clothe she had and suddenly she felt embarrassed to be dressed the way she was. Readjusting her hair tied in a basic pony tail, she heard the door being unlocked. It was too late to change anything now.

« Hey, come in. » Callie greeted her with a flashing smile as the blond entered the apartment.

Callie closed the door behind them and led Arizona to the living room.

The shorter woman was unusually quiet and shy, looking around her as if it was the first time she was there.

« It seems bigger in the day light. » She finally said, turning to look at Callie who was right by her side.

« I missed you. » Callie said, embracing her girlfriend in a tight hug all of a sudden.

A little taken back, Arizona's body tensed a little as Callie wrapped her arms around her waist, resting her chin on her shoulder. She had needed to feel this contact for hours.

She took a moment to enjoy the intimacy of the embrace. They haven't been this close often, and Callie already felt like she was home in Arizona's arm.

« I'm sorry for yesterday. I left you so quickly... » Callie continued, pulling away to look in her girlfriend's eyes. « It was a pretty bad accident, and those poor girls... »

« You lost them? » Arizona worried.

« No, they made it through the surgery, but they still have a long road to go... » Callie explained, taking Arizona's hand, and leading her to the couch. « But let's forget about work today, okay? »

« Totally! » Arizona smiled as they sat next to each other.

« So what do you want to do today? » Callie asked her.

« I... I don't know... » Arizona replied. « I just want to be with you. I need that. »

The simplicity of the words and the intensity of Arizona's eyes on her made Callie blush.

« We can stay in if you want. It will be better for you anyway. » Callie stated receiving a quizzical glance from her girlfriend.

« Yes, I'm talking about that. » Callie said, coming closer to Arizona and cupping her face before professionally looking at her wounded eyebrow. « It is still really bruised... »

« It's nothing really... » Arizona tried to retort. « I'm okay. We can go out. »

« I'm also talking about that... » Callie pointed at Arizona's leg. « Don't you think I noticed you're limping? »

Raising her eyebrow and smiling, Callie made Arizona laugh, and for the first time since they met, the brunette saw her girlfriend totally carefree.

Arizona's laugh was now her favorite sound in the world, and as her girlfriend looked directly in her eyes, giving her the most magnificent dimpled smile she had ever received, Callie felt the urge to repeat the words she had told her the day before.

« Oh my god, you're just so beautiful... »

« Are you kidding? I have nothing appropriate to wear... » Arizona smiled. « I'm sorry, I'm such a tomboy sometimes. »

« I love you Arizona. » Callie cut her off.

Smiling like a teenage girl receiving a compliment, Arizona leaned in and kissed her girlfriend. The sweetness of their lips connecting made them both shiver. It was like a whole new feeling for both of them. Arizona felt like had been freed from the burden she was carrying and Callie was making all her fears and uncertainties go away.

« I love you... » Arizona repeated, her lips still on Callie's just before pulling away a little.

As Callie opened her eyes she noticed Arizona was on the verge of crying.

« What is it? » Callie worried, stroking her girlfriend's cheeks. « Are you okay? »

« Yeah, I'm more than okay, and that's why I ... »

« Shhh... » Callie whispered, hugging Arizona softly. « You don't have to talk if you don't want to. »

« I'm just ... I don't know how to say this. I think that Andrew's words just hit me deeply and opened my mind. I was so close to making a mistake yesterday, and ... »

« I want to meet that man... » Callie joked. « He's my hero! I don't know what he told you, but you seem so soothed... »

« He knowns me so profoundly. And he had always found a way to help me move on from my darkness. » Arizona explained. « And maybe his words echoed in my mind and helped me figure my problems out, but you are the one who had made it possible for me to do it. »

« Arizona... »

« No, it's true. You've been so perfect with me, You ... »

As she was about to open her heart a little to Callie, when they were interrupted by someone knocking at the door.

« What the hell? » Callie grumbled. « I'm not expecting anyone, so it's not important... »

« You're sure? » Arizona asked, not wanting to prevent her girlfriend from opening the door.

« Yep! I'm just here for you today, and there's nothing which is going to stop me from spending time with you. »

« CALLIOPE IPHEGINIA TORRES! Open this door, we know you're in there! » a voice yelled in the hallway, making both women jump in surprise.

« Oh no... » Callie sighed... »

« What? » Arizona immediately worried.

« It's my parents! » Callie sighed again. « I was supposed to call them yesterday, and I forgot... »

« You can open the door Callie, I'm just going to greet them, and then, I'll go back to my hotel. »

« No way! I won't let that happen! » Callie said firmly. « I'm going to tell them I'm busy, and I'll see them later. »

« But they flew from Miami to be with you. » Arizona said. « You should spent some time with them. I understand. »

« No Arizona, I'm here with you. I'm not 12, they can't invade my privacy like that. I have a life! »

As Callie was proudly affirming her independence, the sound of a key turning in the lock made her open her eyes wide. She immediately stood up and walked to the door which had been opened by the time she arrived.

« Are you kidding me!? » Callie yelled as she saw the keeper of the building opening the door and her father entering.

« You see, she's okay Mr. Torres. » the keeper said. « I'm sorry Miss Torres, but your father came to find me, yelling that you hadn't given him any news in days and he was worried... »

« Dad! »

« So he asked me to open the door to check on you... »

« Thank you Will! » Carlos Torres patted the man's shoulder and gave him a money bill, asking him to leave the apartment.

« Dad, I swear to god I can't deal with you right now! You are unbelievable! » Callie yelled at him as she noticed her mother hiding behind the door. « Mom? You too. Really? »

« Calliope, we were worried, you didn't pick up our calls. » Carlos said. « We went to the hospital and your secretary told us you weren't working today. So we decided to come here and make sure that you were alright. »

Callie rolled her eyes and crossed her arms on her chest as her mother shyly entered the apartment.

« I'm so sorry sweetheart. » Lucia apologized awkwardly. « I tried to stop him but he wouldn't listen to me. You know him. »

« I'm sorry I didn't call yesterday, but I had a crazy day, and I had been stuck in the OR until 1 AM. » Callie explained. « And I know you're here for me and I want to spend some time with you, but I have important things to do on my side too. »

« What can be more important than us? » Carlos retorted. « We flew 3000 miles young lady! »

« Without warning me! » Callie snapped back. « I'm really happy to see you, but you have to understand that I can't be totally available. I have a job, liabilities... You know that better than anyone Dad! »

« So what? We're supposed to come here and just see you for a quick lunch and that's it? » Carlos Torres grumbled.

Still standing in a discrete corner of the living room, Arizona was biting her lips trying not to laugh. She didn't want to obtrude, but seeing Callie getting so annoyed and mad at her dad was really unusual and far from the patient and caring person she knew.

« That's not the problem! » Callie sighed, her head bending in weariness.

« So what's going on? » Carlos insisted, crossing his arms on his chest in turn.

« I think I should go. » A shy Arizona said in an almost low voice, not wanting to bring the attention of the Torres Family on her but feeling like she had to go before the conversation became more heated.

She grabbed her grey hoodie and raised her head to notice that all eyes were now on her.

« I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt... »

Both Lucia and Carlos looked at the unknown woman from head to toe before remembering they had already seen her two days before.

« I get it now... » The older man mumbled.

…...

She didn't have any choice but to follow the lead of the Torres patriarch.

As soon as she had made her presence known, even though she had done everything she could do to go, genuinely not to embarrass her girlfriend, Arizona was trapped.

First of all, she had felt Carlos' inquisitive look on her. He wasn't talking but his eyes were saying it all. Then Lucia had immediately offered a warm, nice and an unexpected embrace. And then, trying to ease the tense atmosphere, Callie had suggested that they all have lunch together, assuming it was okay with her girlfriend, and making her father swear he would act cordially and leave after the meal.

So here they were in Callie's dining room, settled around the table, a loud silence floating in the air.

« So, you are the new girlfriend. » Carlos simply stated.

« Yes sir. » Was the simple answer he got, as he received the darkest glance from her wife and daughter?

« Dad... »

« No, it's fine. I mean, we're all gathered to get to know each other right? Even if it wasn't planed... at all. » Arizona smiled, seemingly comfortable. « So we are going to taste your wonderful chicken piccata and have a nice time. »

Rolling her eyes, Callie stood up and walked to the kitchen. She didn't know why everything seemed to be so complicated when it came to Arizona and her. They had hardly spent a few moments together and every time, someone or something seemed to come in their way.

« So, Ms. Robbins, what is your job? Because I guess you know that Calliope is a worldwide known orthopedic surgeon. She is that good. » the father proudly said as he stared at the unknown woman in front of him.

« Well, I'm not working at the moment. But I used to be a doctor too. » Arizona simply stated as Callie was back with a bottle of wine.

« What kind of a doctor? » Carlos immediately questioned.

« I'm a double certified pediatrics and maternal fetal surgeon if you want to know my whole pedigree. » She genuinely smile.

Knitting her eyebrows, Callie sat on her chair and looked at her girlfriend. It was the first time Arizona was actually talking about her job, but the worst part was that she never knew that Arizona was also a fetal surgeon.

« What is a maternal fetal surgeon's job? » Lucia entered the conversation gently.

« It's basically treating birth defect in fetuses who are still in the pregnant uterus. » Arizona professionally explained.

« It's a very rare and tricky specialty... » Callie said, still under the shock of hearing Arizona's confession.

« Why aren't you working at the moment? » Carlos went straight to the point.

« Dad! » Callie retorted immediately. « It's none of your business! Stop bullying her or I'm going to ask you to leave! »

« It's okay Calliope... » Arizona smiled at her, making her gulp as she heard her girlfriend pronouncing her full name. « To be honest, I've had a lot of personal problems which led me to a deep depression which led me to a total burn out. I left my job, my friends and my family to take some time on my own. »

An embarrassing silence settled as Callie tried to lighten the tension by giving the plate to her father who was now darkly staring at Arizona.

« But by an amazing chance, I met your daughter and she's been the light in my darkness, helping and taming me. » Arizona emotionally said, but hid the crack in her voice well enough.

…...

The first part of the dinner was over and Arizona had excused herself to go to the bathroom while Lucia had insisted on cooking the desert, leaving Callie alone with her father.

As her father's phone rang, Callie decided to escape the talk she knew was about to come, to join Arizona.

She found her girlfriend washing her hands quietly, and took a moment to look at her. She was fixing her blond curls in front of the mirror, seemingly peaceful and it was something new. She had handled Carlos' pressure easily, which had annoyed the older man and amazed Callie. Finally, the meeting had gone easier than she thought it would, at least for the moment.

« Hey... » Callie made her presence known softly, entering the bathroom and wrapped her arms around her girlfriend's waist from behind in a loving embrace. As soon as Callie's arms held her, Arizona closed her eyes and leaned her head back on her girlfriend shoulder.

« I'm sorry about this. I didn't plan any of this. I just wanted to be with you... » She whispered, kissing Arizona's temple softly, feeling the blonde's body totally relaxing. « But my father is just so... »

« It's okay. We are together, and your parents are not bad people. » Arizona smiled, turning to face Callie.

« And you are good at that. » the taller woman smiled.

« At what? »

« Meeting the parents and everything. » Callie's grip tightened against her lover's waist, tenderly kissing the blonde's temple.

« I can be civilized sometimes. » Arizona's joked, her arms automatically coming around Callie's neck.

« Yeah, you're full of surprises... » Callie smiled, referring to Arizona's revelation about her second specialty.

« And you haven't seen everything yet. » Arizona huskily whispered in the brunette's ears before kissing her lips in a soft and tender touch.

At that moment, everything was perfect and the world stopped around them. Deepening the kiss, Callie's hand were now rubbing Arizona's back and her rib cage as the blonde had her hands in darks curls.

Becoming more intimate and intense than ever before, Callie reluctantly pulled away, almost breathless.

« We need to go or my father is going to come looking for us and I don't want him to wander everywhere in my apartment... » Callie smiled and took Arizona's hand, leading them back to the dining room where Lucia had just arrived with the dessert. She looked tenderly at the two woman and smiled. The connection between them was obvious and even if she didn't know Arizona, she felt her daughter was genuinely happy and it was more than enough.

« Where's Dad? » Callie worried.

« He's on the phone, again. A problem in New York apparently... » Lucia sighed, used to her husband's absence. « You know him, even though he's supposed to be retired, he's not able to quit completely. »

« I know... » Callie replied, sitting at the table followed by Arizona.

« So tell me Arizona, what about your family? Are you close? » Lucia genuinely asked as Callie's face turned pale.

« I... » Arizona cleared her throat. « I don't have a lot of family. I'm close to my sister though. She was here yesterday, you saw her if I remember well, at the hospital, she was in the waiting room. »

« Oh! That lovely young lady is your sister? » Lucia smiled. « She seemed upset... »

« It's a long story ...You have a lovely family. » Arizona said to Lucia, pointing to the pictures on Callie's wall, needing an escape from the sensitive subject. « Especially your daughter... »

« We're really blessed. » The older woman replied. « And I hope you'll be a part of it Arizona. »

« Mom! » Callie retorted.

« What? I'm not insinuating anything, that's just a wish. » Lucia explained. « Arizona is making you happier than I've ever seen you sweetheart. »

« We've been dating for a short amount of time Mom! » Callie replied, waiting for Arizona's approval. « So please, don't go all bridezilla on us already! Let us be... »

« Your mother's right. What's your intention with my daughter Ms. Robbins? » Carlos suddenly asked as he made his way back to the table, readjusting the sleeves of his jacket. « If things work out between you both, is there any chance you will give us a wedding? »

« If Calliope wants to spend the rest of her life with me, I'll put on a big white dress and dance down the aisle. » Arizona smiled at her girlfriend. She glanced at her with a playful glance which helped Callie relax for a moment. If Carlos Torres thought he could intimidate her so easily, he was fooling himself.

« And what about grandkids? » He insisted.

« I suppose, when the time comes... there will be kids. » Arizona reassured Carlos as she took Callie's shaking hands in hers. Gulping in surprise Callie looked at their intertwined fingers and felt her knees weakening. She was so taken back by the conversation she was the center of, that she wasn't sure she had really heard Arizona say those words.

« Are you a vegetarian? » Carlos Torres asked seriously, making Arizona laugh.

« No Dad, she's not a vegetarian... » Callie growled just before laughing too at her father's inappropriate questions. « So stop asking stupid questions, and let's eat the desert! »

…...

Closing the door behind her Callie sighed in relief. It was over.

The improvised lunch hadn't lasted too long and her parents had almost respected their words to not be too intrusive.

« Soooo? » Arizona asked, walking to her girlfriend.

« They're gone! And I'm so sorry... » Callie apologized embracing Arizona. « I hope you're not mad at me... »

« Are you kidding? I get to know a little more about you, your parents love you so much, it's really amazing. » Arizona smiled, resting her head on Callie's shoulder.

« Yeah... » Callie said. « I'm sorry about my father's questions. He's so annoying some times. But you did well! You gave him the perfect speech, without losing it. He's impossible... And my mother who was ready to marry us already... »

« Well, that would be a good thing, wouldn't it? » Arizona stated as she left her girlfriend's arms to walk to the couch.

Callie knitted her brows as she looked at her walking away. It was something unexpected and of course totally inappropriate to think about right now seeing the short period they had been together. She shrugged her shoulders trying to stretch the discomfort she was feeling and walked to sit next to her girlfriend who had noticed the tension.

« Hey relax Calliope, I'm not going to marry you tomorrow. » Arizona teased, coming closer.

« Right, I know that... » Callie mumbled, trying to remain as neutral as she could in her tone.

« But it's not just to please your dad that I said that. » Arizona stated.

Plastering an embarrassed smile on her face, Callie was trying to hide her discomfort, looking for words she could use to answer Arizona.

« Wow, forget about it... » Arizona said as she looked at her now nervous girlfriend. « It's just a thought, nothing real... I mean I want to get married, one day and get a big ol' house with kids running around. »

« That would be great... » Callie replied, relaxing when she stared at Arizona's dreamy smile.

That's when she found herself weirdly soothed. After the disaster her last serious relationship was, she had forbidden herself to think about the long term when it came to love. She began to think she wasn't made for that. Thinking about it with Arizona was of course just too soon, but it was a possibility she wasn't scared of.

« It's just an old dream of mine... » Arizona nostalgically said, outing Callie from her daydream. « And it's not the subject I want to think about right now... »

She approached her girlfriend, tenderly, laying her hand on her thigh and kissing her cheek in a feather light manner. She then cupped her face and looked deeply in her eyes.

« I have to fly to LA tomorrow... » Callie said, closing her eyes.

« I know... » Arizona replied, not really understanding why the brunette was talking about that at this moment.

« I'll be gone for two days and I'll be back. » She insisted. « And I'm sorry we have already wasted half of our day already. »

« It was not a waste, I told you. » Arizona reassured her.

« Are you going to be okay when I won't be here? » Callie asked.

« I have a pretty busy schedule... I received a message from Miranda and Jackson Avery. I won't have a lot of time off apparently. » Arizona smiled.

« Oh, that's great... » Callie said disappointedly.

« Because I will need distraction, so that's great indeed. » Arizona huskily whispered in Callie's ear. « Because I'm going to miss you like crazy. »

Hardly had she heard those last words that Callie grabbed Arizona's face and kissed her passionately, the blonde immediately taking advantage from that impetuosity to straddle her girlfriend, her hands tangled in black curls.

Needing to take a breather, Callie pulled away reluctantly and rested her forehead on Arizona's, her hands holding her back.

« I'm going to miss you more. » She stated emotionally. « I love you... »

« Really? » Arizona teased.

« Really... » Callie replied, biting her lips.

« So show me Dr. Torres... »

...

 **AN2:/ So what do you think?**  
 **Don't hesitate to review it to let me know.**  
 **What do you think is going to happen next?**


	19. In parallel

**AN : / Hey guys!**  
 **First of all, I wish you a happy new year!**  
 **Hope you'll be surrounded by the people you love and that all your wished will come true!**  
 **I am really sorry to post this chapter so late. I had a terrible end of year, a lot of unexpected and tragic event happened to me in a short amount of time, and my priority wasn't writting.**  
 **But everything is okay now, or is doing better, so I am Back on track!**  
 **I hope you'll like that chapter, as usual corrected by my amazing beta and friend Shy Alien.**  
 **Reviews are always welcome! They usually makes me want to continue the writting, and I love to read your expectations and your point of view!**

 **Enjoy, Chapter 20 will be posted very soon!**

...

« Dr. Torres? » the flight attendant softly taped Callie's shoulder. « We're about to land. »

Waking up slowly from an apparently deep sleep Callie straightened herself from her uncomfortable position and stretched her sore muscles. She had fallen asleep quickly, well as soon as she has settled in her seat.

Leaving Arizona had been harder than she thought. The two of them had spent their afternoon making love for the first time and it had been so intense that they had lost track of time. They had fallen asleep in each other's arms and had been outed from their sleep by Callie's alarm clock in the early morning. She had just took the time to take a shower while Arizona had made coffee and prepared a quick breakfast.

She had accompanied her back to her hotel and the good bye had been emotional for the two of them. Even if she'd be back the next night, it had been really hard to leave her girlfriend that way.

But as her mind was trying to refocus, she couldn't help but smile at the memory of the intensity of the connection she had felt when she had made love to Arizona. It had been an earthshattering moment and just thinking about it made her feel a little turned on.

« Your driver will be waiting for you at the airport. »

« Thank you. » Callie greeted her father's employee.

It was one of the things she liked and hated at the same time about her father. He was a caring and loving parent, but he was also powerful and so rich that when she had told him that she had to fly to Los Angeles the days before, he had handled everything for her short visit, from the private jet to the sumptuous suite in one of his hotels, and even a personal driver all dedicated to herself.

A part of her will always be grateful for her father and his thoughtful gestures, it always made things easier for her especially in this kind of moments. She didn't have to worry about anything.

But on the other hand, she didn't like this way of life and sometimes, she wished she could live a regular life. She was not disdaining her family in any way, but the fact that they were wealthy had always fooled her interactions with people when they knew who her father was.

Taking her luggage, she followed the normal journey through the airport and its different checking's before meeting her driver of the black SUV she was going to have as her conveyance for the few hours she'll spend in Los Angeles.

She sat in the back seat of the car and got her phone from her bag, looking for some texts from her girlfriend. She only found a text from Jackson Avery and a mail giving her the address of where she was going to meet the Ted crew to talk about the future conference. A little disappointed, she sighed. She knew Arizona wasn't a big fan of texting but secretly she had hoped she would have sent her a few words.

Missing her a little too much, she decided she needed to hear her voice, and she hit the call button, waiting quietly for the blonde to pick the call.  
« Hey! » She was greeted by a joyful voice.

« Hey! I just wanted to tell you, I'm on my way to the meeting. » Callie explained. « I will meet the team for the conference tomorrow, and they offered me a tour of their buildings today. »

« That's great. » Arizona simply replied.

« You're doing okay? »

« I'm great. I was just about to leave for the hospital. Jackson just texted me. The socket is ready to be tried. »

« I know, he texted me too. » Callie replied, frustrated at not being in Seattle to witness that important step of the process.

« You're sure you don't want to crash at April's? She offered again to host you for the night. »

« It's really nice of her, but my father has scheduled everything, don't worry. I wouldn't want to bother her. »

« I get it. » Arizona replied. « I'm sorry I have to go, or I'll be late. »  
« Okay... I call you tonight after dinner? »

« Sure. »

« Take care. I miss you... »

« Me too. Have fun! I love you... » Arizona whispered suavely in the phone, making Callie's throat go dry. That woman had the power to make her weak, even miles away

...

 _It had been a long time since the two of them had spent time together and she missed it. But this time, after a long day between her classes and her job, Arizona was happy to have time with her brother.  
_  
 _So when she opened the door, she was a little surprised to find her best friend laughing with him, sitting on the old couch of their little apartment.  
_  
 _« Hey... » she awkwardly made her presence known.  
_  
 _« Hey Zo! You're here early! » He greeted his sister.  
_  
 _« Well, we're supposed to go to the movie at 8 so I finished work 30 minutes earlier... » she grumbled. « What are you doing here? »  
_  
 _« Well I finished my shift early so I came here. »  
_  
 _« But you said yourself you were surprised that I was here early, so why did you come here. »  
_  
 _« I... I invited him. » Teddy explained as she scratched the corner of her lips nervously, Arizona wrinkling her forehead.  
_  
 _She approached them and noticed they were holding hands, and as soon as her eyes fell on them, Teddy and Tim blushed, dropping their respective hands in embarrassment._  
 _Now totally aware of what seemed to be happening between her brother and her best friend, Arizona gave them a glacial look and rushed without warning to her room, slamming the door behind her.  
_  
 _She was about to lock the door when her brother opened it without warning, hitting the blonde in the head.  
_  
 _« Ouch! Damn it! » Arizona yelled, even if she knew it wasn't serious. « Are you crazy or what? »  
_  
 _« What's the problem here? » Tim asked, not wasting time. He knew his sister too well and he had to go straight to the point and make her talk.  
_  
 _« Nothing, I'm just... Tired. I just want to go to sleep. Go to the movies by yourself... » Arizona lied, throwing her jacket to the opposite corner of the room. « Or you can go with her...You can do whatever you want. »  
_  
 _« Arizona... Is it because of Teddy? »  
_  
 _« What is it with Teddy? » Arizona feinted ignorance sarcastically.  
_  
 _« Come on... It's not … We were just having a good time, nothing more. »  
_  
 _« I don't hold hands of the people I'm only having a 'good time' with... Well that depends on your definition of a 'good time. » Arizona grumbled, sitting on her bed.  
_  
 _« We haven't done anything bad! We were just … flirting... »  
_  
 _« So we're going from nothing to flirting in less than 2 seconds... Awesome. »  
_  
 _« You must be kidding right? Because I don't know what's wrong with you, but the last time I checked... »  
_  
 _« The last time I checked, you were just a friend of hers, not her boyfriend! » Arizona cut him off.  
_  
 _« I'm not her boyfriend! » Tim tried to retort.  
_  
 _« Maybe... but you wished you were. »  
_  
 _The conversation was heading to a place Tim didn't want to go. Arizona had a problem with the eventuality of him and Teddy being more than friends and he didn't know why. They were arguing about something that wasn't even real, and he knew that something deeper was bothering Arizona so she was picking a fight.  
_  
 _« Listen... Even if Teddy and I were a couple, which we're not! I don't know why it should concern you... »  
_  
 _« You don't know really? » Arizona became angrier, clenching her fist.  
_  
 _« I mean... Of course in a way it could, but why would it bother you? We're grown up, we don't have to ask for your permission! »  
_  
 _« You don't get it do you? » Arizona asked under her brother's suspicious look. « Well, I can't help you if you don't see it. Can you please get out of my room? Have a good night... »  
_  
 _« Arizona Robbins, you don't get to shut me out like this! » Tim yelled, wanting to push his sister a little hard to make her talk.  
_  
 _« And you don't get to do that! » Arizona replied, yelling in turn. « Did you think about the consequences if you get involved? I mean... I wish it would be that easy. But I only have you and her... So if unluckily, things wouldn't work out between the two of you, whose side am I supposed to take? I know this sounds irrational, and I know it's not my place to say it. But... »_

 _..._

It had been a really long day, and even if the tour of the TED office had been interesting at some point, Callie was relieved it was over. Sure the important part of her trip would take place the next day but right now, she was only dreaming about taking a bath and calling her girlfriend who she had missed all day long. Which was a little surprising even for Callie who was used to loving hard, and so missing hard.

Since they had been together, they were used to not seeing each other every day, but now that they had taken a step forward in their relationship, Callie was feeling the need of being with Arizona as much as possible. She wanted to get to know everything about her. Because even if they had talked a lot, there was still a lot to learn about each other, and Arizona still had that mysterious aura around her she wanted to be a part of.

But right now, she was tired, and she was relieved to finally have time for herself.  
Smiling at the idea of relaxing in a hot bubbly bath, she called the room service and asked for a bottle of wine to complete her night.  
This, added to the bath and some music would be the perfect environment to talk with Arizona about her day and to tell her how much she loved her.

Stretching her arms in the air as she joined her hands, Callie was surprised to hear her phone ringing. Grabbing it, she swallowed hard seeing who was calling her.

« Hello? »

«Hey, Dr. Torres, It's Teddy Altman. »

« Yeah, I know...You can call me Callie. » the brunette awkwardly replied, still surprised at hearing from Arizona's friend.

« Right... »

As an uncomfortable silence settled for a moment, Callie was asking herself if she should confess her presence in Los Angeles to the woman she had never met.  
« Actually I am... » « I was calling you to... » they said at the same time.

« I'm sorry... Go on please... » Callie replied first.

« Okay. Well I was calling you because I know you're in town, and I wanted... »

...

 _« Arizona! Talk to me! » Teddy grabbed her best friend's wrist as she was sitting on their couch for several hours. « You've been sitting here for too long! I don't know what happened but you need to spill it! »  
_  
 _Receiving nothing but a broken look from the shorter woman, Teddy was unable to handle more of her silence.  
_  
 _« Please, sweetie... Tell me... » She let go of her grip on Arizona's arms and softened her voice. « I know you're sad that your brother is leaving but there's something more! I can feel it! »  
_  
 _« I... I'm so sorry... » Arizona was able to mumble, breaking in sob as Teddy immediately leaned in and took her in her arms.  
_  
 _« Shhh... It's okay... » She whispered. « And what could you be sorry for? »  
_  
 _« I... If Tim left, it's because he wanted to be with you and he couldn't. » Arizona blurt out.  
_  
 _Teddy remained frozen for a moment, not integrating what her friend just confessed. She pulled away from the embrace, her forehead wrinkled in misunderstanding.  
_  
 _« What? »_

 _« He likes you, a lot. » Arizona managed to say, coughing to get her voice audible. « Remember the day I came back here and you were... flirting? »  
_  
 _« Yeah… maybe... »  
_  
 _« That night, I made a scene. » Arizona shamefully explained. « I freaked out, because my best friend and my only living relative were... too close... I mean... I told him I couldn't stand to see you two go further in a relationship because if things didn't work out between you, I'd have to lose one of you by picking sides. »  
_  
 _« I have no idea what you're talking about! » Teddy said, on the verge of tears.  
_  
 _« I was so selfish. I think he joined the army in order to be away from you. »  
_  
 _« Arizona, that doesn't make any sense... »  
_  
 _« I'm such a bitch... »  
_  
 _« Don't say that! »  
_  
 _« Teddy! How can you be friends with a girl who literally prevented you from being with a guy you ... »  
_  
 _« Shut up! You don't get to say that! » Teddy yelled. « You saved my life! You made it possible for me to be where I am now! So stop blaming yourself for something that is not even real! »._

...

Arizona was sitting quietly in the lab, waiting for Jackson Avery to show up.  
Today was apparently very important in the process of the trial and the young man was really nervous. He had called her in the morning to explain what they would do and how things were going to be tricky. He had managed to give the blonde a part of his stress through the phone.

But strangely, she was having this weird feeling that her life was now relatively stable and it had been a long time since she had felt at peace.  
She didn't really know why, but it was soothing and that was not usual for her to feel safe so quickly, surrounded by a new environment and new people. The person that had made everything so easy was of course Callie, and just thinking about her made Arizona smile.

« Avery, can you please give me an update on... Oh! I'm sorry! » a voice outed Arizona from her thoughts.

She stood up and faced the newcomer who was certainly not aware of her presence.

« I'm sorry. I didn't know somebody would be here. » The man apologized.

« It's okay. I was waiting for Jackson too. » Arizona smiled as she tried to remember where she had already seen his face.

« I'm Richard Webber, chief of surgery of this hospital. » The older man introduced himself, giving his hand to shake to the blonde. « And you are Dr. Robbins. »

« Yes, I am. » Arizona replied, surprised he knew who she was. « Nice to meet you chief. »

« We met already, briefly. » He explained. « At the cocktail party, with the investors, a few weeks ago. »

« Right... » Arizona faked remembering. « It was a really great party... »

« It was. We hadn't been properly introduced back then, and I have been waiting to finally talk to you. » Richard smiled noticing Arizona's puzzled look.

« Well it's done now. »

« I have to tell you that I have been hearing a lot about you lately. »

« Really? »

« Really. » Richard insisted. « I'm a good friend of Gregory Skaggs from Hopkins, and I contacted him not so long ago. »

« Oh... » Arizona nodded. It had been a long time she had thought of her former attending.

« I wanted to know if he can recommended me a surgeon to take over Dr. Kinley in a few months. He's the head of our Pediatrics unit and he will retire by the end of the year. »

« So you're looking for some new faces? Don't you have some good peds surgeon here? »

« We have, but they're not strong enough to deal with the status a head of department needs. » Richard continued. « So I was hoping he can give me some names. And it appeared he wasn't able to give me one. Well, he had a person in mind, but he told me that person was nowhere to be found for a few months. »

« What a pity... » Arizona avoided Richard's insistent look on her.

« Please, stop fooling me. » Richard replied. «You know he was talking about you. You are his prodigy. Top of your class, double certified and amazingly gifted, the best everybody had seen in years. »

«Oh don't listen to him, he's a little too talkative. »

« It took me some time to figure out that you were THE Dr. Robbins he could not dry up with praise. » Richard finally revealed his intentions.

« I'm not that good. » Arizona tried to lie.

« Well I believe him, and after what Dave Quintero from Los Angeles told me, it's the truth. He just added that you were stubborn and acted border line sometimes, but that you always did whatever a patient needed. »

« You called Quintero? » Arizona's jaw almost dropped at the mention of her former boss.

« I did. And that's why I'd like to meet you, but in a real meeting, with the board members. » Richard explained as Jackson made his entrance.

« Sorry, I'm late! » He apologized. « Chief, Dr. Robbins... »

« Avery, it's about time. » Richard retorted faked. « I was looking for an update concerning Dr. Torres' Trial. Can you send me the latest data? »

« Sure, I'll do it as soon as I can. » The younger man replied.

« Great. So I'll leave you two with your work." Ricard said, before turning to Arizona. "And please Dr. Robbins, come to my office when you have a moment and we can fix a date. »

...

She was sitting on the stool of a luxurious bar hotel she never thought she would enter in. It had been an impulsive move but something deep inside her had led her here.  
Nervously sighing, she tensed when she heard her name called from behind.

« Dr. Altman? » Callie ventured. She had seen her face on the internet and knew it was her but it was another story to be in front of her. Even if they had shared a few phone calls, she was feeling uncomfortable, not really knowing how and why Teddy wanted to meet her.

« Please, it's Teddy. » She replied as Callie sat next to her and ordered a drink.

« So you can call me Callie. » She smiled awkwardly.

« I'm sorry to bother you, but I was with April when she received a text from Arizona, telling her you were in town, staying here. »

« Oh, that's how you knew I was at that hotel. » Callie nodded.

« Yeah... » Teddy mumbled, relieved when the bar tender served them their drinks.

« I must say I was surprised you called me. »

« I'm sorry... What was I thinking...? You must have other things to do... »

« No! Please don't apologize. » Callie reassured her. « It's okay. »

« I don't even know why I'm here to tell you the truth. »

« Well I guess it has something to do with Arizona. » Callie smiled.

« It's just... I wanted ... » Teddy mumbled.

Knowing her best friend was alive and almost safe had been a real relief and terrible news at the same time. Teddy had millions of questions to ask her, but something was preventing her from contacting Arizona directly. She was afraid that if she did it, Arizona would freak out and run away once again. There was no real reason for it, it was just a feeling she had. Maybe it was guilt, because in a way, she was blaming herself for not being able enough to help her friend, and she thought she had failed her.

« Teddy, it's okay, I get it. » Callie continued. « You wanted to check on her? »

« It's just... I'm not like April or Alex... I can't go out there and confront her. » Teddy revealed. « I have been so worried. »

« I'd have been too. » Callie nodded, feeling how nervous Teddy was.

« Is she okay? »

« You haven't talked about her with April? » Callie questioned.

« I wanted to have your point of view. » Teddy replied. « I know Arizona and she's very good at hiding her true feelings. April and Alex could have been fooled by her, without any doubt. »

« And why would it be different with me. » Callie ventured.

« April told me you and her were... together? » Teddy smiled. « I couldn't have guessed it, but it's really great. »

« That's true. » Callie's cheeks reddened. « We are together. »

« It's already a huge thing. » Teddy replied. « So tell me... »

« She's been through ups and down. » Callie revealed genuinely. « I haven't known her for very long, but I've seen her angry, I've seen her bitter and also lost. »

« Some things never change. » Teddy sadly smiled, remembering how Arizona's behavior had always been unpredictable.

« I don't think she's faking her feelings when I'm with her. » Callie continued. « I mean, she can be really unstable, she's been really on edge several times, but lately, we're in a good place and just before I left, everything was great. »

Teddy smiled at the brunette, swallowing, trying hard not to cry. All she had ever wanted was for Arizona to be happy after all the hurdles life seemed to put in her way.  
« That's good. I'm happy. » she said, her hands resting on her chest. « It's all I ask. I want her to be happy. »

« You should come to Seattle and visit her. » Callie said. « I think she really misses you. »

« She's more than a friend to me. » Teddy confessed. « I don't know what she told you about her life, but it's a miracle she's still alive today, by a lot of aspects. She's the strongest person I've ever met. And if I'm here today, it's because of her. »

Noticing Teddy was having an emotional moment, Callie instinctively put a reassuring hand on her shoulder. There was apparently some elements about Arizona and Teddy's friendship she didn't know, but to see the dirty blonde so upset about getting good news from her girlfriend was making her really emotional too.

« She's opening to me, step by step. She told me about Tim, about her father and Annie. She even told me about the loss of her baby. » Callie confessed which surprised Teddy.

« Wow, she really trusts you, because that's one of the hardest events of her life, and she had never talked about it in years. » The dirty blonde explained. « I'm sorry, I didn't want to make this meeting awkward or weird, but I realize I've been moving from one subject to another... »

« It's not a problem at all. I can see that you care about her and that's what is important, right? And I'm happy to finally meet you in person. » Callie reassured her.

« I am too. And I am even happier that she has found you because apparently you have been able to catch her... » Teddy smiled.

...


	20. The Talk is good

**AN:/ As promise, the next chapter is here, faster than usual.**  
 **I let you discover it, not a lot to say.**  
 **Thanks for your feedback, it's really important to me.**  
 **Shy Alien help me one more time (you're awesome !)**

 **Enjoy your reading!**

 **...**

She was alone in her hotel room, after coming back from the hospital and she was a little mad at that Dr. Webber's proposal.

What she did with her life was none of his business, and she was even madder about the fact that her former mentor had given her name to him. Couldn't they both mind their own business?

What was bothering her, in reality, was that she had never clearly taken the time to think about what she was going to do about her professional life.

Of course she loved her job. Looking back, being a surgeon and saving lives had always been the cause of pride for her. She had managed to get to med school, had graduated at top of her class without any help. It was all her. She had worked so hard for it, went through internship, residency, fellowship and she was now a double certified surgeon. People travelled across the whole country to have her operate on their kids! But after the plane crash and all the loss she had undergone, she had to give up things, and somewhere along the road, she had lost the motivation to do her job.

That was maybe part of the reason she had left her former life. But she was apparently trying to create a new one after months of wandering. So where her love life seemed to take an unexpected good turn, she had to admit to herself that one day or another, she was going to have to think about what to do with her professional life as well.

And that was the problem. She didn't want to think about it. Not now. Not when her wonderful, caring, breathtaking, stunning girlfriend was rocking her world and was literally resuscitating her from the darkness she was stuck in for years.

So as the perfect avoider that she was, she decided she wouldn't follow up on the chief proposal and she was just going to forget about it for now.

She turned the TV on and let herself drop on the bed, holding her phone in her hand, wanting to check on Callie's text. But unfortunately, there wasn't any from her girlfriend, just one from her sister.

Sighing in disappointment, she opened it.

 ** _You are going to kill me. I think Teddy is meeting Callie tonight. I might have told her by mistake that she was in town for a few days._**

Smiling, Arizona could clearly see her sister's facial expression and was sure she was anxious about hearing her reaction.

 ** _Don't worry. I don't know why they would see each other. They had already talked on the phone. Anyway it wouldn't be that bad._**

Arizona texted April back just before removing her shoes and throwing them away at the opposite corner of the room. She lay on her bed, looking at the ceiling and for a few minute she thought about Teddy and Callie, settled at a bar, talking casually. This seemed so unreal that there was no way in her mind it could happen.

It was just a reminder of how much she misses her best friend. Teddy was a part of her life even if they hadn't talked in more than 2 years. She was her family. Suddenly feeling emotional, she shook her head from either side and sat back on the edge of her bed.

The darkness wouldn't win, she wouldn't let it.

Anyway, Callie would be back in a few hours and they would spend the day together and it would be awesome.

…...

 _ **A few hours earlier...**_

 _After a few shots of tequila, Teddy's apparent distant displeasure was totally gone and she was now laughing loudly with Callie._

 _« I swear to you, that guy was really a jerk. He deserved that punch! » She said, under Callie's surprised glance._

 _« You mean Arizona really did that? Punched a colleague in the OR? »_

 _« Yeah, she had always been like that when it came to abusive people. Especially, when they were around me. » Teddy explained._

 _« What does that mean? »_

 _Suddenly Teddy's smile faded and she grabbed the last shot in front of her, drinking it instantly and asking for another round._

 _« That's how I met her, to tell you the truth. » Teddy sighed, smiling sadly at Callie who could feel that the woman in front of her was about to confess something very difficult._

 _« The first time we met was at our job in a coffee shop next to the campus. It was her first day and I was supposed to show her how things worked. She immediately noticed the bruises on my wrist and another faded one on the back of my neck. »_

 _« You don't have to talk about it Teddy. It's none of my business... » Callie tried to interject._

 _« I know, but I'm sure she will never tell you this so I want you to know how amazing she had been for me, and how I consider her more than a friend. » the dirty blonde nodded. « She didn't ask any questions, but I immediately knew she understood what I was going through. We got to know each other over the course of the next few weeks, and we were getting along very well. She was perky and funny, and that's all I needed from her: to distract me whenever she could. One day I came to work with a black eye and a broken nose. So she decided it had to stop. She confronted me and asked me who was doing that to me. Of course, I lied, telling her I had a stupid accident, though I wasn't fooling her at all. But she didn't push me. She kept being a good friend, always asking me if I was okay, if I needed anything, that I could tell her whatever I needed to. »_

 _« You were beaten by your boyfriend? » Callie ventured._

 _« Yes, I was. And one day, as we were closing the shop, my boyfriend arrived and came in the locker room. We had to work late because two of our colleagues had called in sick, and I hadn't told him that I would be late._

 _He was there, furious and angry at me. He thought I was alone, so as soon as he saw me enter, he grabbed my arms and pinned me against the nearest wall, insulting me. But Arizona was just behind me and she witnessed the whole scene, immediately knowing what was happening. I don't know how, but she beat him down with a single punch in the face! He was taller than me and really athletic, but she jumped at him and he was so surprised that he remained on the floor, scared. She insulted him and yelled at him, telling him to go away from me. Then she called her brother and they welcomed me in their little apartment without asking me any questions, without any judgement. They helped me get on my feet and I can say that she saved me, literally. »_

 _Speechless, Callie grabbed her shot and emptied it in a single gulp, still under the influence of the emotion behind Teddy's confession. That's when she understood the deep link between the two friends better and she was really emotional._

 _« She's all in or all out. There's no in-betweens with her. » Teddy continued. « She can give everything to a person, but she can also destroy them. But the worst thing is that she can destroy herself because of that temper. »_

 _« I already figured she was intense. » Callie replied genuinely as she noticed Teddy was smirking. « No! Not in that way... »_

 _Rolling her eyes, Callie thought back about the night she had spent with her girlfriend just before leaving Seattle, and, well it had been really intense. The memory made her cheeks blush, and she received another smirk from Teddy, which made they both burst out in laughter as they ordered a last round of tequila._

…...

Music could be heard from the hallway, and in a way it was surprising for her.

There was still a lot she didn't know about her, but listening to music so loudly wasn't a thing she was expecting.

She smiled, almost shyly knocking at the door, trying to remember what that song was. When nobody came to open the door, she tried the handle, and luckily, it wasn't locked.

Entering the room, she closed the door behind her, hearing someone humming. The voice was coming from the bathroom. She walked a little closer and what she saw made her smile grow with every passing second.

Arizona was dancing, wrapped in a white towel, in front of the mirror, humming the song which was playing in the background.

« _Oh, angel sent from up above_

 _You know you make my world light up_

 _When I was down, when I was hurt_

 _You came to lift me up ..._ »

As soon as the blonde saw her girlfriend reach the door behind her, in the mirror, she stopped herself, a huge smile curving her lips. She turned to face Callie and immediately hugged her tightly.

« You didn't have to stop you know, I was enjoying the show... » Callie teased.

« What are you doing here?! Weren't you supposed to be back tomorrow morning?

« I took my father's jet. I missed you too much. » The brunette replied, stroking her girlfriend cheek before kissing her.

Arizona closed her eyes and felt Callie deepen the kiss, her hands wrapped her back and held her closer.

She melted in the embrace, Callie was now kissing her neck passionately.

« Everything went good out there? » She asked, trying to refrain herself from ripping Callie's clothes.

« Mhmm... » was the only positive answer she received.

« Great... I guess... We'll talk about that later... Oh my god... »

Without any more words, Callie lifted her girlfriend, who squealed in surprise and carried her to the room.

« You are totally crazy... » Arizona laughed as she was placed back on the floor.

« I am... about you... And I missed you like crazy ….» Callie smiled.

« Well, I have to say, I missed you so much as well... I know it was just two days but... »

« Really... I bet I know what else you missed... »

…...

After their hot reunion, the two lovers had fallen asleep in each other's arms, Callie laying on her back when Arizona was resting her head on the brunette shoulder, her arm wrapped around her midsection. They had the entire day for themselves and they had planned on not letting anything or anyone interfere.

When the first ray of light appeared in the sky of Seattle and entered their room through the window, Arizona lightly moved and stretched her body before releasing all the tension. She didn't open her eyes, enjoying the contact of Callie's skin on hers. She felt how her girlfriend was holding her against her chest, her arm tenderly snaked around her back. At that moment, everything was perfect, and everything felt in place for her.

She didn't remember the last time she had experienced such a peaceful and quiet feeling waking up. Callie's arms were so secure and warm that she could have spent the rest of her life, snuggled against her girlfriend.

« What are you thinking about? » Callie spoke as she woke up slowly, stroking Arizona's back. « I know you're awake. I can feel you thinking... »

« I... I just feel so good here, in your arms... » Arizona replied, tightening her grip around Callie's waist as the brunette kissed her head.

« You know what? »

« What? »

« I think I want to spend a wonderful day with you. » Callie continued. « I want to do things we have never done. I want to get to know everything about you. I want to be with you. »

« Oh! Right, it's a good thing because I want to do that too. » Arizona replied relieved.

« Seriously Arizona. I know we have already talked a lot about our past but there's so much more I want to know... »

Intrigued by Callie's sudden need to know everything about her, Arizona left the warm embrace and sat on the bed, wrapping the sheets around her.

« Well, just ask. What do you want to know? Do you want to bring back our old question game? »

« No, I don't want it to feel like a game, or like an obligation. I just want it to be natural, you know? »

Smiling at her girlfriend, Arizona lightly brushed Callie's cheek with her thumb. « You can ask me whatever you want, whenever you want Calliope. »

« Stop calling me that! » Callie pinched Arizona's arm, who feinted pain.

« Ouch! Is that a way to tell me I can't touch you? » Arizona teased back.

« No, it's a way to say I don't really like being called by my full name. » She replied, standing up and walking to the bathroom.

« But it's so beautiful, lyrical, almost magical... » Arizona genuinely replied, grabbing her crutches and following Callie.

« Maybe, but you haven't gone through high school with that kind of a name... »

« Please... I grew up with the name Arizona. I learned how to play dirty on the playground... » Arizona replied, observing her girlfriend getting rid of her t-shirt and opening the shower door.

« Are you coming? » Callie smiled.

« Oh, so that's the first 'first thing together' of the day already? »

« Yeah... you can say that. » Callie teased, helping Arizona to enter.

She put her hands against the wall, allowing the blonde to find her balance and turned the water on.

« So first shower together then... » Arizona smiled.

« And we can kill two birds with one stone as I'm going to make love to you here. Now for first round of shower sex. Does that sounds good to you? » Callie smirked.

« You bet... » Arizona replied, kissing her passionately before embracing her closer.

…...

« So you like Coldplay? » Callie asked, turning her key in the lock and opening the door of her apartment.

« What? » Arizona asked, not really focused on her girlfriend's question.

After their crapulous shower, the two woman had chosen to leave Arizona's hotel and had stopped by a coffee shop to get breakfast. That's when Callie had noticed a little distraction in Arizona's behavior. Her mind seemed somewhere else when she had asked her what she wanted to order, and even if the blonde had quickly shook her head and flashed a magnificent smile at her, there was definitely something she was keeping to herself.

« Coldplay, the band... The song you were dancing to, yesterday when I caught you. » Callie smiled at her, taking the paper bag containing their breakfast and walking to the kitchen.

« Yeah, sure. » Arizona replied, smiling a little too much as she sat on a stool in the kitchen island as Callie was made a fresh pot of coffee.

« Is everything okay? » She worried, trying to keep a normal tone.

« Yeah, Great, awesome! »

« You sure? »

« Yeah, Why? »

« I don't know, you seem a little preoccupied since we left your hotel. » Callie stated.

« Have you talked with Jackson yet? Apparently everything sounds good for the first real test. »

« Don't try to change the subject woman! » Callie said, turning to face her girlfriend. « Is there something you'd like to tell me? »

« No, not at all... » Arizona lied.

« Or something you'd like to ask... but remember, we decided not to talk about the trial or anything around it... »

« Why would I want to ask you something? Is there anything you'd like me to ask you? »

« Arizona... » Callie sighed, serving her girlfriend a cup of coffee. « I'm not in the mood for you little games, so if you have something on your mind, tell me. »

« Well, maybe... Maybe there's something someone told me about that had been running in my mind since yesterday... »

« Okay... » Callie ventured, knowing that as usual, Arizona would blurt what was bothering her at any moment during their conversation. The blonde was not really clever when it came to speak her mind, but she was improving.

« But it's not important, really... » Arizona continued to lie. « So, how was LA.? The town I mean... »

« Well it was good, I didn't have a lot of time to visit, but it was great. » Callie replied.

« Oh, I almost forgot. April texted me yesterday, she was freaking out. »

« About what? »

« She was sure that Teddy was on her way to meet you, because she told her you were in town. See how stupid that is... » Arizona laughed, happy to have oriented the discussion in another way in her typical modus operandi.

Almost spiting her coffee as she heard the words her girlfriend pronounced, Callie put her mug back on the kitchen island and grabbed a paper napkin, coughing.

« Are you okay? » Arizona asked her, surprised by the sudden event. « Callie? »

« Hmm... Yeah, I'm just... » Callie tried to reply without looking suspicious. « I just swallowed the wrong way, ah ah... »

« If you say so... » Arizona looked at her doubtfully.

She took a sip of her coffee, looking her girlfriend awkwardly cleaning the counter. She was obviously upset and she was now sure the meeting April was suspecting had indeed taken place.

« It's a silly idea, isn't it? I mean why would you both meet? » Arizona suspiciously intensified her eyes on Callie. « Not that you have never lied to me about being in touch with her... »

« I didn't lie to you, I told you she called me. » Callie almost grumbled.

« Once I confronted you... » Arizona smirked.

« So Jackson hadn't sent me the data. It's not rea... »

« Don't try to change the subject woman! » Arizona cut her off, teasing her. « I thought April was totally deluding herself but she wasn't! Ah! »

Not really knowing why she had tried to hide her encounter with Teddy from her girlfriend, Callie's cheeks reddened in frustration. She sighed before finally nervously sitting on a stool in front of Arizona.

« It's true. Teddy and I met yesterday. She called me and asked if we could have a drink. So I agreed and I met her... »

« See, you tried to drag things out of me, but you were the one who wasn't telling me something... » Arizona teased, standing up and positioning herself in front of Callie with a playful grin plastered on her face.

« I'm sorry... I didn't know how you would react... » Callie sincerely explained. « Are you mad at me? »

« No, not at all. » Arizona reassured her girlfriend, spreading her knees so that she was closer to her and taking advantage of the position they were in, hugged her.

« Really? » Callie worried, feeling Arizona resting her head on her shoulder.

« Totally... I'm glad actually. »

« Wouldn't you have preferred to be there when I first met her? » Callie questioned.

« I don't know. » Arizona replied. « I feel so bad to have shut her of from my life. I don't think I'm ready to face her for the moment. »

« She's an amazing person. » Callie replied, breaking the embrace and lifting Arizona's face to look in her piercing blue eyes.

« She is... » Arizona swallowed, her emotions on edge, like every time she thought about her best friend. « And I miss her. »

« I know you do. » Callie kissed her cheek. « And she will be there, whenever you'll be ready to see her. »

« She told you that? »

« Yes, she did. » Callie smiled, affected by the emotional state her girlfriend was in. « You want to know what we talked about? »

« No, but thanks for asking. It's your privacy. » Arizona replied genuinely. « I don't want to interfere in any way. But I will look forward to the day when I'll introduce you both properly. »

« So maybe now you will tell me what's on YOUR mind. » Callie got straight to the point.

« Oh, that... it's nothing interesting. » Arizona tried to avoid, knowing it was a losing fight.

« Well, remember what I told you earlier, I want to know everything about you, even what is not interesting. » Callie continued. She knew that Arizona was a very complicated person and that sometimes, when she was pushed too hard, the consequences could be devastating. So maybe by an attempt to muddy the waters, she would bring her to talk about what was bothering her.

« You mean that? All the most annoying parts of my life? » Arizona smiled, not fooled.

« Yeah, of course. » Callie continued. « Let's begin by one thing you told me one time. You said it wasn't the first time you found yourself on the streets, right? So what does that mean... »

« You know, it's really not interesting, and I don't really want to talk about it. »

« Okay... » Callie simply replied, agreeing internally to opt for a new strategy. « So what do you want to do today? »

Wracking her head, as Callie stood up from the stool. She was ready for Callie to pursue her to talk, but instead she was withdrawing and she didn't like that.

« So... That's it? » She asked. « You're not gonna insist even a little to know about that? »

« You told me you don't want to talk, I don't want to bother you. » Callie replied nonchalantly, knowing she was twirling her girlfriend. « Do you want to go to the movies? Or maybe just stay in... »

Clearing the counter, Callie was intentionally avoiding eye contact. She could feel Arizona's eyes on her and she knew she was winning.

« I... I don't know. Everything sounds good as far as I'm with you... »

« We could go for an ice cream. I saw a new shop on my way to your hotel. It seemed cool. »

« Mmh mmh... » Arizona mumbled, annoyed by Callie's too casual banter. « I know what you're trying to do... »

Callie smiled and turned from the sink to face her girlfriend who had her hands on her hips.

« Really? » She faked misunderstanding. « I'm just trying to plan our day. »

« No you're not... » Arizona replied, her irritation growing.

« So tell me... » Callie said, still smiling at Arizona, a little smirk noticeable.

« I'd rather stay in... » Arizona replied, coming closer to Callie and wrapping her arms around her neck. « So I can make out with my hot girlfriend all day long... »

She kissed Callie who had of course understood what kind of game she was playing. Suddenly lifting her girlfriend, the brunette made her sit on the kitchen counter and positioned herself between her legs, deepening the kiss.

« That's a good program I guess... » Callie said, attacking Arizona's neck.

« I like it already! » the blonde giggled childishly but Callie stopped kissing her suddenly. « What? Why? » Arizona pouted, Callie strongly putting her arms from either side of her legs.

« Oh, don't worry, I'm not done with you, but I want to know what was on your mind earlier. Just tell me Arizona. You were the one who was all « No more unsaid between us »... »

« You're right... » Arizona sighed, frustrated at still behaving like this. « But it's nothing really. »

« So tell me. » Callie softly smiled.

« It's just your stupid chief... »

« Webber? What did he do? You talked to him? »

« He talked to me, in fact... He even offered me a job... » Arizona replied.

« What? » Callie's eyes bulged out.

« Yeah, apparently your head of Peds is retiring in a few weeks, and he wanted to know if I'll be interested in the job... »

« Really? That's … Wow! » Callie mumbled, shocked by the news. « And what do you think about that? »

« I just... Can we not talk about that right now? I'm in the mood for other things, you know... »

« Oh... I see... » Callie huskily replied, starting to unzip Arizona's hoodie. « Maybe I can help you... »

« Sure... » Arizona replied, kissing her girlfriend passionately, her hands in her dark curls.

They were about to go a little further when the doors slammed open, making them both jump.

« Torres! » Mark Sloan yelled, entering the apartment without being welcomed.

« For god's sake! Mark! Can't you just knock! » Callie helped Arizona get down the counter awkwardly.

« Oh, sorry, I didn't know your blondie would be here... » He mumbled, visibly having a hard time standing normally.

« Are you drunk? It's 9! »

« Yeah! I'm drunk I was out all night because my wife won a stupid grant! » He yelled. « And she's over the moon about it! »

« And why are you here? »

« It's three years, in Africa... » Mark tried to explain. « And she wants to go! »

« That's a wonderful opportunity... » Arizona said, annoyed to see the ex-husband acting as if he was in his home.

« No it's not! I don't want that! We were supposed to stay here and try to have a kid! »

« That's the problem when you fall for a younger girl Sloan, get over it! Talk to her and try to figure it out together! But right now, you have to leave. Because I was about to have lots and lots of sex with my girlfriend, and I don't want to see you here whining and drunk! »

Grabbing her friend by the arm, she led him to his apartment and opened his door. « Act like a grown up! Take a shower, sleep a little and then call Lexie! »

Not trying to argue like a grounded child, Mark followed Callie's orders and disappeared in his bathroom.

Walking back to her place, Callie was welcomed by a smiling Arizona who wrapped her arms around her waist.

« That was incredibly hot! »

« I'm sorry... » Callie said, stroking her girlfriend's cheek tenderly.

« Don't apologize, I thought for a minute that our day would be ruined, but you were so badass... » Arizona flirted.

« You think? »

« Yeah... »

« So let's get back to where we were... »

...

 _ **Reviews are always needed and welcom**_ e!


	21. On her mind

**AN : / Hey guys! I'm back, finally.**  
 **What's up with you?**  
 **Here is at last the 21st chapter!**

 **I really hope you're going to enjoy it. Their journey are evolving slowly but wisely.**  
 **The next chapter is ready and will be post this week. I'm working on chapter 23 and there will be a little time jump.**  
 **Shy Alien is my beta as usual and I'm so grateful for her job.**  
 **I can't wait to read your reviews and your expectations for the next chapters! I love rading them, they are making my day!**

 **So see you very soon, and have a nice reading.**

...

She was wandering in the hallways of the hospital, looking at everything and anything.

It had been 10 days since Richard Webber had talked to her but she hadn't gone to see his secretary for an appointment as he had asked her to do. Instead, she had spent a lot of time in the Peads ward, rummaging around, talking with nurses and doctors. She was swooping everywhere, trying to be discrete but it wasn't really working.

A lot of them were wondering who the little annoying blonde woman was and even if she was really polite, they were still a little suspicious about her presence.

But she was there almost every day, she had been seen talking with the staff members. Some had even seen her holding a certain ortho surgeon's hand, so she was apparently a part of the family in a way.

The trial on the other hand was going well. All the tests and tries were going smoothly, and so far, no problems were found.

Today, though, was one of the most important day regarding the trial. She was going to try the full prosthetic, taking her first step with the whole artificial leg, but she wasn't nervous at all.

She was preoccupied with finding an access to the gallery than going to the lab where she was supposed to be.

The past few days had been nothing but amazing with Callie. Even if the brunette had a lot on her plate between the trial and her regular job, she always found a few moments to see her girlfriend. They didn't have a lot of time together, but when they did, everything was perfect.

They were getting to know each other better, but Arizona was a little frustrated because she had to spend most of her days alone.

When she was alone, she would think about everything and anything, and that wasn't good for her and she knew that.

So her new main concern was her professional life. She had been thinking a lot about it. She had even done some research about Seattle pediatric unit and she had been surprised to notice Dr. Kinley was running his department in a really old school way.

After all, he was about to retire, but there were some things that were really not well managed, like the pain control. It was a subject she had done research on for years, having even written articles about it a few years ago and she couldn't help but think that Seattle was really far behind. And that was saying something keeping in mind that she was the one who had been away from an OR for almost 2 years.

There was a challenge to take and if she wanted to help Seattle Grace Pediatric Unit move forward, she had some catching up to do. But that was something she was thinking about now.

Following a group of residents, whom she had heard were going to the gallery, she tried to make herself invisible and was sure she would be able to enter without being noticed.

Without noticing it, her interest for medicine was coming back and knowing her two former bosses had recommended her was flattering.

It was true, she was made for this job. She used to give everything she had for it.

So maybe it would be a good idea to give Richard Webber's offer a try.

Still walking behind the future surgeons, she didn't see the man whose proposal had been running through her head for days. She was sure no one had noticed her presence and was smiling big when she finally found the entrance she was looking for.

Leaning against the opposite wall, the older man was looking at her with a smirk on his face. He had succeeded to arouse her interest.

As Arizona was about to follow the residents, she jumped in surprise when Richard cleared his throat behind her. She immediately turned towards him and tried to avoid his gaze.

« Dr. Robbins, what are you doing here? » he asked her, amused by her childish behavior. He had to bite his lip to restrain himself from laughing.

« I... nothing, I... I think I got lost? » Arizona mumbled. « I had a very, very important appointment with Dr. Torres, and I don't know how, but I found myself here... »

« That's weird... » Richard said, really amused by Arizona's stubbornness to lie. « Would you like me to show you the way? »

« Sure! » Arizona replied, feigning gratitude. « That would be great... »

She awkwardly followed the taller man who felt very proud of himself.

« It's really surprising you've came so far. The lab is at the opposite wing. »

« I know... I must have been distracted. »

« Something on your mind maybe? You don't really look focused. »

Here it was. Arizona was trapped and she knew what the next subject would be in their apparently casual conversation.

« Actually yes, I've been thinking about what you asked me the other day. » Arizona tried to take the lead. « I have to say I was surprised at first. »

« Oh, so you're ready to talk about it? » Richard got straight to the point. « Because you didn't seem to like it when I offered you an interview with the board... »

…...

Fidgeting nervously Callie couldn't believe that Arizona was late at such an important meeting. It was the first real test with all the elements of her revolutionary prosthetic and she wasn't here on time. She was only 10 minutes late, but for Callie it was already too much.

« She better have a good reason to be late... » Callie grumbled as she checked her phone again.

« It's just been a few minutes Dr. Torres... » Jackson said, trying to calm her down. « She will be here soon. »

Sighing, Callie couldn't help herself but fear that her girlfriend would vanish each time she was late. It was totally irrational, and she knew it, but the feeling was still there. Even if everything had been really good and amazing between them, somewhere in her mind, the thought was still present.

But right now it wasn't happening, it was not possible.

It was an important appointment, and Arizona knew it, so she was a little nervous thinking that Arizona was taking it so lightly.

When the doors finally opened, she immediately raised her head and wasn't satisfied to see her friend Meredith Grey entering.

« Hey! I was looking for you... » Meredith said, immediately noticing Callie's negative reaction. « Or maybe I should come back... »

« It's okay Mer... I was just... Whatever... What can I do for you? » The brunette sighed.

« What are you doing tomorrow night? »

« Nothing... Or wait... Sleeping would be great... »

« Absolutely not! You're coming to my place. It's Derek's birthday and we're having a big dinner! »

« Really? » Callie sighed again. « And you're telling me this just the day before? »

« No, I already told you last month, but as usual, you must have forgotten... » Meredith smiled, knowing her friend by heart. « It's not a big deal, I already knew that would happen, that's why I'm here to remind you. »

« I'm sorry Mer... It's just I'm so busy lately... »

« I told you, no big deal, I get it. So I will wait for you and the others at 7. Sound good? » Meredith asked.

« Perfect! » Callie replied. « Should I bring something? »

« Just yourself, and maybe one bottle of that expensive wine you brought at the last Christmas party? » Meredith smiled. « Oh, and of course your girlfriend is welcome. »

« Oh... » Callie blushed. « You sure? »

« Callie... Of course. She's with you, and I'd like to get to know her better. »

« Okay, I'd ask her if she's available. » Callie smiled.

« Great! I have to go! See you tomorrow night! » Meredith said, before leaving the lab.

Callie rolled her eyes. She was thinking about what Arizona's reply would be to the invitation. She wasn't sure if she would want to go. Most of the people there would be strangers.

The brunette was frustrated, going back to walking on eggshells wasn't a good thing. Arizona had asked her to act normally, even if she was having some doubts about the way she should be around her girlfriend. Tomorrow's dinner seemed a little like a real introduction of them as a couple, and suddenly, she was feeling nervous about it.

It was when she was engrossed in the internal debate with herself that the lab doors opened again, and she saw Arizona enter followed by the chief.

« Sorry! Sorry! I'm late. I know! » Arizona said, clenching her teeth and avoiding Callie's eyes.

Relieved and surprised to see her girlfriend's companion, Callie smiled at her. Now was not the time to be grumpy about her late arrival, now was time to run the tests and to focus on them only.

Arizona approached Jackson and sat on the bench she used to take off her usual prosthetic.

« I'm the reason Dr. Robbins is late. » Richard said. « I had something to show her, and some questions to ask her. »

« It's okay chief, we were just finishing some last minute fixes. » Callie said, carefully helping Arizona to put her socket on.

« Can I stay? » He asked as Callie gulped.

She was really surprised at the question because the chief being present added a little pressure on her.

« Of course! » She replied. « Have a seat! »

Standing up, Callie tried to remain focused on the goal of that session. She smiled at Arizona and looked at Jackson connecting the last pieces to the artificial leg.

Kneeling next to him, she readjusted some pieces, being sure to follow every step of the process.

« So, it's all set. » Callie said, standing up. « We're going to give it a try, for real; not only the walking function, but the sensitivity aspect as well. »

« Everything is ready Dr. Torres. » Jackson confirmed.

« Are you ready? » Callie asked Arizona who was now feeling all the pressure of the world on her shoulders.

« I am! »

…...

A few hours later, they were getting out of the elevator to go to Callie's apartment, and Arizona wasn't sure they would be able to make it to the main doors.

« Callie! » Arizona tried to stop her girlfriend who was covering her face and neck with kisses. « The doors are open... »

« I don't care... » Callie mumbled, her hands running everywhere on her girlfriend's body.

« Well, if you just stop for a minute, we'll be in your bedroom, all alone... » Arizona tried a new smart tactic which seemed to work.

« Well, I like the sounds of that... » Callie bit her lip, and grabbed the blonde's hand, dragging her out of the elevator.

After reaching the apartment door, Callie quickly opened it, never leaving her girlfriend's hand, and as soon as she closed it, she pinned Arizona against the wall, attacking her neck with passionate kisses, trying to get rid of her blouse.

« What's with the sudden urge? » Arizona managed to say, trying to slow down her lover a little. « I mean, we barely left the lab and you were so... »

« We rocked that leg test! I want to celebrate! » Callie said, a little annoyed by her way too talkative girlfriend.

« I can see that... » Arizona replied. « But don't you want to go out instead? »

« No... I want you... » Callie says huskily, too busy trying to unclasp Arizona's bra.

« I get it... » Arizona grumbled, a little uncomfortable. « But … I … it's just... »

« Oh shut up! » Callie suddenly said, regretting it immediately.

She stopped her undressing and bent her head. The mood was definitely killed and she was now feeling frustrated.

Taken aback by Callie's sudden fierce tone, Arizona swallowed hard, and remained frozen against the wall. She wasn't prepared for such a fierce reaction and was destabilized.

« I'm so sorry... » Callie apologized, finally raising her gaze to meet shocked blue eyes. « I didn't mean it... I was just... »

She stepped back and gave Arizona her blouse back. The blonde took it and avoided Callie's eyes that were on her. She was still under the shock of hearing her girlfriend almost yell at her and it wasn't something she was ready to face right now. It was the first time she had seen her so frustrated and reacting so unexpectedly that she was stunned.

« I was just... You know that urge you have after you succeed, that feeling of almighty power when you rock a tricky surgery... It's just... » Callie rambled.

She was ashamed and was lamely trying to justify something that was totally out of balance. She had screwed up and she needed to find a way to show her girlfriend that she was sorry. Looking at Arizona's defeated expression was making her sick but it was her fault and only hers.

« I... uhm... I should go. » Arizona simply said, putting her blouse back on.

« No please... Listen to me Arizona... » Callie tried to hold her back.

« Were you listening to me when I was asking you to slow down? » Arizona snapped at her.

« Touché... »

It was not a real fight, but it was the first time they were arguing since they were a couple. And it happened at the least expected moment. Not an hour ago, everything had been great. Arizona's first real steps with the prosthetic Callie and her team had been working on for months were successful. Everything had worked and for the first time in years, Arizona had felt something in her missing limb. The feeling had been a shock to her. It wasn't a striking sensation but she had felt something and it had been overwhelming for both of them.

The things is Arizona, even if she was proud of Callie and was thrilled the test were so positive, wasn't totally focused on the event.

She had been talking with Richard Webber on their way to the lab and he had been really convincing.

Even if she hadn't said yes, she was more and more interested in the offer he had made to her. So she was feeling a little guilty at not being fully mentally present with her girlfriend during that amazing moment and she was asking herself how, so quickly, everything had turned into a disaster.

« I was carried away, I'm sorry... I thought you were too... I shouldn't have assumed... » Callie tried to explain.

« Yeah, you shouldn't have... » Arizona snapped again.

She let herself slide to the floor, still leaning against the wall. The cold material made her shiver. The situation was awkward for both of them and the tension was killing Arizona.

« I don't want to fight. » Arizona blurted out of nowhere. « I was just not in the mood, and I didn't expect you to be so... »

She shrugged, thinking back at the craziness of the moment. It was almost comical but she didn't want to laugh right now.

« As I told you, I just thought you'd be up to some... celebration... » Callie sighed. She didn't want to fight either, but they had to talk about what they had on their mind. She sat against the wall, not too close to the blonde and sighed heavily in frustration. It was not supposed to happen this way, at all.

« I thought you'd be happy. » She insisted.

« Callie I am happy. I'm really happy for you, for the trial, even for me. I mean... it's incredible. » Arizona came closer to her and raised her chin to assert her of what she was saying. « You have done an amazing job, this is so huge. You are amazing. »

« You think so? »

« Of course! » Arizona finally smiled. « But I wasn't expecting that kind of celebration... »

« I'm sorry... » Callie replied, a shameful expression on her face. « I'm so embarrassed... »

« No... Don't be… It's me... » Arizona replied. « I was just... I have been a little unfocused lately. I was thinking about a lot of things, even when we were testing the leg. »

« I should have listened to you. » Callie genuinely said. « But I was so... »

« Horny? » Arizona teased her girlfriend who immediately hid her face between her hands. « What? Don't be ashamed, it's natural... »

« Please, don't make it sounds creepier... » Callie mumbled making Arizona laugh.

« It's not creepy. It happens to everybody you know... »

« Anyway, it's your fault... » Callie finally said as she stood up and gave her hand to Arizona, helping her do the same.

« How is it 'my' fault when you're the one who cannot keep your hands out of my pants? » She teased her lover.

« It's your fault because you're hot... » Callie bit her lip.

« Hey, stop looking at me that way... I told you, not now... » Arizona gently put her finger on Callie's lips before giving her a peck. « But cuddling on the couch with a glass of wine? That is totally what I need right now... »

…...

« Do you know that your apartment is really...? »

« Really what? » Callie asked as she was sitting on her black couch next to her girlfriend, handing her a glass of red wine.

« Don't get me wrong. I love it. It's really beautiful, and modern. »

« But? » Callie smiled in anticipation, knowing what would come after.

« But it doesn't fit the picture I have in my head about you... »

« What do you mean the picture you have? » Callie frowned.

« Well, as you told me a few days ago, even if we are together, we don't know each other that well... » Arizona tiptoed, not wanting Callie to take what she was saying in the wrong way. After their fiasco earlier this evening, she didn't want to upset her.

« And that's when I told you that I wanted to know everything about you. » Callie smiled as she began to play with Arizona's hair.

« Absolutely. And so this apartment of yours, it's a little … snooty. » Arizona said softly.

« No it's not. It's modern and really decorated with taste. » Callie smiled proudly, looking around her living room. « But to say the truth, I'm not often here, so it's easier to keep it a little impersonal. »

« I'm sorry, I shouldn't say things like that... Who am I to say that...? I don't even have an apartment. I haven't had one in years. » Arizona replied.

Feeling it was a good way to make her talk, Callie smiled and put her hand on her girlfriend's knee, as an invitation to continue.

« Where did you live when you were in L.A? » Callie ventured.

« After... After I was back from Thailand, I stayed with Teddy for a while then I had to rent a new apartment. I wasn't able to go back to the one I shared with Annie. It had never been my place anyway. I moved to her place, and almost everything was hers. » Arizona explained. « So I took the first available place I found close to the hospital and I put all the boxes from the older place in it, unpacking only the necessary stuff. I lived there for a month surrounded with boxes full of her stuff. I was at the hospital most of the time, or at Alex's, or Teddy's or even April's. I hated that place. »

Feeling the emotion in the blonde's voice, Callie couldn't do anything else but to take her in her arms, which her girlfriend accepted immediately, melting in the comforting embrace. The night was decidedly not going in the way they both thought it would, but it wasn't something bad. Finally, they were used to having unexpected talks about their respected lives, and it was the best way to make Arizona open up more: let it all happen naturally.

« I didn't want to make you think about that when I asked. » Callie explained as they broke the hug.

« I know, it's okay. And as I already told you, you can ask me whatever you want. » Arizona smiled.

« Yeah, I know that. » Callie replied, taking her glass of wine. « But I don't want to push you or bring back any dark memory. »

« You weren't pushing me. Anyway, enough with the past. We're here to celebrate your incredible success. » Arizona stated, taking her glass and raising it. « To you, to my wonderful missing leg which helped you fulfill your research, and to your amazing work on the prosthetic which is going to help so many people out there! »

« What are you doing! » Callie feinted shock. « You don't cheer with wine! Not in my snooty apartment! »

She stood up and walked to the kitchen under Arizona's amused eyes.

« There you go! » She said, coming back with two new glasses and a bottle of champagne, popping it open with a huge smile on her face. « Cheers to everything you said! And Cheers to our first argument! »

« You don't cheer an argument! » Arizona retorted.

« Well I think we could, because I'm going to do everything I can for it to be something very rare! »

…...

The next morning, Arizona woke up alone in Callie's king size bed, a little lost at first. It took her a few minutes to open her eyes and remember where she was.

She was a little disappointed to notice that her girlfriend was gone but she could hear her humming in the kitchen and it was more than enough to make her smile.

It was something she loved about Calliope Torres: her voice. It was delicate and suave, soothing and strong at the same time.

She sat on the edge of the bed and automatically looked for her crutches that weren't there obviously. Instead she just grabbed her sock and prepared herself to put her prosthetic on.

It was part of her morning routine even if she usually waited a little after her breakfast to put it on.

As she was doing it, she couldn't help but think about Richard Webber one more time. The man had been really persuasive, and Arizona was really considering taking the job.

He had offered her a real precise schedule. She would work with Dr. Kinley for the time he was still there. It would give her time to recover from her months away from her job and she would work at her own pace. Webber would help her study and catch up to the latest innovations in pediatrics surgery.

Everything would be done for her to be prepared and to feel at ease with her future position.

He had also told her he was interested in the creation of a fetal department that she could lead when she would be ready.

He had insisted that it was a win-win situation: he would get a known and competent surgeon, while she would get almost everything she needed to help her get back to work.

It was an unexpected opportunity, almost a dream come true for her and it was the first time she was feeling wanted professionally. Chief Webber had really thought about everything, taking into consideration her disability without making it a hurdle, talking to her about the program his hospital was sharing with several clinics in Africa. He knew it was something important to his future recruit and she had been really amazed by the photos and the videos he had shown her.

Almost too perfect to be real. She thought to herself, standing up and stretching her body before walking to the kitchen where her girlfriend was making her breakfast.

« Oh no! » Callie said as she saw her.

« Well... That's a hell of a welcome... » Arizona pouted.

« I mean No! You were supposed to be in bed, sleeping, and then I would come with your breakfast, and wake you up with a soft kisses... » Callie pouted back. « And you would have been so cute, with your smile, whispering 'Thank you' in my ear... »

« You have put a lot of thought into that... » Arizona smiled at her girlfriend, coming closer and wrapping her arms around her waist.

« I have... » Callie smiled, leaning in to kiss the blonde. « I have because I have something to ask you. »

« Go ahead... » Arizona said, waiting for Callie to ask her question.

She sat at the table as Callie finished to prepare the breakfast.

« I have something to ask you too. » Arizona said, wanting to talk about her job offer.

« Oh? » Callie reacted, walking to the table with a tray. « You want to go first? »

« No, go. » Arizona replied, watching her girlfriend serve her with a big smile. « You didn't have to do all of this. »

Callie smiled at her and sat next to her, serving her a cup of coffee. It was just a lazy morning with her girlfriend at her place. It was something a lot of people would find trivial, but for Callie it was precious. She had a professional success the day before, she was in love and was about to have breakfast with her girlfriend who was opening herself to her more and more. They were really communicating, working on Arizona's issues and it all felt really good.

« Well, I have dinner tonight at Meredith's. » Callie explained, taking a bite of her toast. « It's Derek's birthday. »

« That's great. » Arizona simply replied. She didn't know if there was something else Callie wanted to tell her, but for the moment, she wasn't really getting why she seemed so formal.

« It is, actually. They have a big house near the woods. It's really beautiful. » Callie continued, not really comfortable. Would Arizona agree to accompany her? Was it too soon?

« Good for you... » Arizona replied, not really following what Callie was trying to tell her. « If you're worried about me, don't! You can't go and enjoy your night. I'm not the kind of girlfriend who prevents her partner from going to a dinner. And I have a lot of things to do anyway. So go and enjoy your night! »

« Oh, Really? » Callie said disappointed to hear that statement. « What do you have to do? »

« Well it had to do with what I wanted to talk to you. » Arizona replied, taking the first sip of her coffee. She took a few seconds to appreciate the taste of the nectar and let a moan of pleasure escape.

« This coffee is really amazing... » She whispered. « That's what you get when you have a fancy coffee maker I guess. »

Callie rolled her eyes but smiled at the same time. This was her Arizona and she loved her more and more with each day that passed.

« What is it that you wanted to talk about? » Callie asked, a little worried.

She was never serene when Arizona openly said she wanted to talk about something. It was stupid, but she was still a little on edge sometimes.

« Well, as you must know, I was talking with Dr. Webber yesterday. » Arizona replied.

« I don't know anything. » Callie almost cut her off. « I saw you with him when you arrived at the lab, and that's all. »

« Well I met him on my way to the lab. And I have to say that he's been really persistent regarding the job offer he talked to me about last week. »

« Really? » Callie questioned.

« Kind of... » Arizona said. « And that's why I wanted to ask you, if it would be okay with you if I might consider the offer. »

Still surprised by the announcement, Callie froze for a moment. She didn't really know how to react the right way.

« You are considering going back to work? » she finally asked her girlfriend.

« I am. »

« Seriously? »

« Seriously, but if it will bother or annoy you, I will decline. I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable or anything. Because it's your hospital. Well, I know it's not YOUR hospital but I mean it's your place, and I don't want it to cause any problems between us. I'd really understand. » the blonde rambled, but was genuinely telling the truth.

« Well technically, it IS my hospital. » Callie replied.

« I get it. » Arizona replied defeated, thinking Callie wasn't approving. « It's okay, it's normal I guess. »

« No, Arizona, I mean it. I'm a member of the board, I own part of the hospital. » Callie clarified.

« And I really think that it will be amazing to have you as our heads of Peds. »

She looked at her with a huge smile but received a puzzled look, and to say it wasn't the reaction she was expecting was an understatement.

« I... Okay... » Arizona mumbled, swallowing hard.

« What's wrong? » Callie immediately asked.

« You own a hospital? » Arizona repeated.

« Not all of it, just a part... » Callie précised, still concerned by her girlfriend's expression.

« And I'm going back to work... » Arizona nervously stated.

« You are! » Callie excitedly said, taking her hand in hers.

« I'm just... It's kinda scary... » Arizona smiled. « But it feels awesome... »

« You are awesome! » Callie told her. « And I know it's not going to be easy to get back in the field, but I'm going to be here, all the way. »

« Thank you... » Arizona shyly smiled and kissed her girlfriend's cheek. « Thank you for everything... »

« I've done nothing here. You are the one Richard wants, he is the one who has done all the work. »

« And he's been really convincing, and understanding ». Arizona nodded. Her future chief seemed to be a good man and she was eager to get to know him better.

« So, we're going to be coworkers now! » Callie ventured.

« Oh my god... » Arizona's face suddenly went blank. « There's so much I need to do. I have to practice, I have a million articles to catch up with, there's the trial and there's... »

« And there's a dinner tonight! » Callie cut her off. « You're coming with me to Shepherd's birthday, that's what I was trying to ask you earlier. »

She looked at her girlfriend and saw nothing but a bright and loving smile on her face.

Standing up from her chair Arizona walked to Callie and straddled her lap, snaking her arms around her neck.

« You're the best girlfriend ever. » she whispered in her ear. « And I love you ».

« I love you too. »

...

 **Coming next : A diner surrounded by friends.**  
 **Let me know what you're expecting!**


	22. You're the one that's making me strong

**AN : / As promise, the next chapter is here!**  
 **A little diner with some complicated moment. But everything is going to be okay.**  
 **After this one we will be moving a little forward with a little time jump (45 days, it's not too much right?).**  
 **As usual, I thank all the readers who are taking the time to review, and my friend without whom it would be impossible for you to understand anything!**

 **Have a nice reading!**

...

She was definitely a hand holding kind of a girl and that was really new in a relationship for Callie.

Sure, she had already held some of her former partners' hands before but she was always the one who was looking forward to doing it.

Arizona would often grab her hand when they were walking together, which had not occurred a lot since they were an official couple.

But still, as soon as they had left the car which was parked a few feet from the Shepherd-Grey residence, Arizona had immediately reached for her girlfriend's hand.

Callie knew she was a little nervous and she was trying to reassure her everything would be okay. She already knew most of the people invited at the party anyway.

As they approached the doors, she took a moment to ask Arizona if she was ready to meet her friends and future co-workers.

« Everything is going to be okay. They're good people don't worry. »

« I know... I know... » Arizona repeated, trying to see who was there through the windows. She saw some familiar faces such as Amelia, Meredith and Lexie.

There was also the Asian girl she didn't really know yet but they were once introduced to each other real quick at the hospital. She recognized Dr. Hunt who had his arm around her waist and that's when she understood they were a couple.

And in the opposite corner she saw the ex-husband, smiling too much and she couldn't' prevent but clenching her teeth in nervousness.

« What? » Callie asked, noticing the sudden tension in her girlfriend's posture.

« Mark Sloan is here... » Arizona grumbled.

Callie sighed and smiled at the same time. She had already noticed that Arizona wasn't really comfortable with the fact that Mark was living next to her place and now she could feel a little jealousy.

« Of course. He's Derek's best friend. » She explained. « And I know he can be intrusive and even... clumsy. But he's a good guy, and the reason he's my EX husband is because we weren't in a couple relationship, because we weren't in love. »

« Yeah, but you married him... » Arizona stated.

« I divorced him 2 months later because we were so pathetic... So don't worry about him... He's like a brother to me. »

« I never slept with my brother... » Arizona teased.

« Arizona... » Callie sighed.

« What, I am allowed to be a little jealous... He has seen you naked... »

« He's not the only one who has... » Callie teased back.

« Yeah, there's your brother in law too... » Arizona kept teasing.

Biting her lip, Callie slapped Arizona's ass as the blonde laughed and they finally walked the distance to the doors in a more relaxed atmosphere.

Callie was genuinely happy at the moment. Arizona was about to be officially introduced to her closest friends and she was visibly open tonight. Her funny banter about Mark had been really unexpected but she was relieved her lover was able to tell her about her feelings under the cover of humor.

So when she knocked at the door, still holding her hand, she was more than ready to have a great night.

« Hey! You made it. » Meredith greeted them as she opened the door.

« Yeah! We are both here! » She replied, Meredith smiling at them.

« Come in! » She lead them to the living room where Amelia was busy, playing with two children.

« Hey Robbins! Great to see you here! » She greeted them, standing up and hugging Arizona who wasn't expecting it, as Meredith was taking Callie's jacket. « So this is Zola and Bailey, my niece and nephew, and of course Meredith and Derek's kids. »

« Hi! » Arizona said, waving her hand and looking at them. « How are you? »

« Hi! » both children replied shyly.

« Well, they are really polite and quiet tonight! » Callie teased as she entered the room and the children stood up and ran to her.

« Auntie Callie! » Zola yelled, as Callie kneeled to welcome her and her brother in her arms.

« Hey you two! What's up? »

Arizona witnessed the scene with tenderness, a big smile on her face. Callie seemed really close to the Shepherd kids and was now tickling them as the children were laughing loudly. It was a side of Callie she had never seen and it was very sweet and charming.

As the siblings were calming down, Zola stared back at Arizona.

« So you've been introduced to my friend? » Callie asked the little girl.

« Yes... » Zola replied, still unsure about who Arizona really was. « What's her name? »

« Her name is Arizona, and she is very special to me. » Callie said, smiling at the blonde as she stood back up.

« She's more special than Mommy? »

« Actually, it's not similar, at all. Your Mom and I are friends. But Arizona is my girlfriend. »

« Like you're in love and everything? » Zola asked seriously.

« Exactly... » Callie replied, her arm automatically snaking around Arizona's waist.

« That's great, and I think she's a good person... » Zola seriously stated.

« Who's a good person? » Derek interrupted the conversation from behind, making everybody turn.

« Arizona. » Zola replied as she walked to her father. « She's Callie's girlfriend. »

« So you are the famous Arizona? » Dereck smiled at Arizona, giving her his hand to shake. « I'm Derek Shepherd, this young lady and this young man's father, also Meredith's husband, and Amelia's brother. I'm glad to put a face to the name. Nice to meet you. »

« Thank you. » Arizona politely replied, impressed by the man standing in front of her.

She knew him by name of course. He was a world known neuro surgeon and she had read articles about him and written by him over the years.

« Can I serve you a drink? »

« Sure! » Callie replied, following Derek to the bar, Arizona by her side.

Looking around her, Arizona was amazed by the house she was in. It was beautifully furnished and decorated with a big open kitchen. It was a dream house where everybody would love to live and raise kids.

It was a house like she had once dreamed to buy for her family, but it never happened. A feeling of sadness suddenly overwhelmed her and she stopped in the middle of the living room as Callie and Derek continued to walk a little further.

It was like she was hit in her gut when she realized she was again thinking about her past failures, and she knew she had to fight it. Now she was thinking about darker memories. Pictures of the house she once shared with her brother and her father. It was a memory she cherished and it took place in the only real house she had lived in for a little more than a year, when she was around 8. It was surrounded by love and laughter. But it was in that house that she had heard the truth about her mother and how she had abandoned her. It was not going to ruin her night though.

That woman was nothing to her and will never be. She shook her head like she was trying to escape her demons, she needed Callie right now.

As she turned back to give a glass of white wine to Arizona, Callie noticed her standing alone a few feet from her, and by her embarrassed look, she knew something was up.

She walked toward her and gently kissed her cheek, taking her hand in her own.

« Are you okay? » She worried, lightly stroking Arizona's cheek where she had just kissed her.

« Hey... » Arizona smiled, getting out of her thoughts. « I'm alright, I was just looking at the house, it is really beautiful... »

« Yes it is. And you won't believe me, but he built it himself, with his friends. » Callie explained.

« That's impressive... » Arizona nodded. « So let's have that drink... »

…...

The dinner had been great, filled with laughter, good food, drinks and even music and singing at the end.

Arizona had been welcomed by all the people invited to the party and she was relieved. All the people seemed to be great and Callie had been wonderful, as usual.

So when they left the house at around 1 in the morning, everything seemed good. Arizona was just apparently a little tired and wasn't talking a lot as they got into Callie's car.

The brunette was telling some fun stories she had gone through with each of her coworkers at the hospital, trying to keep the atmosphere of the party a little longer.

« And that's why Christina hates working on Mondays! » Callie laughed as she drove her car.

Arizona smiled. She was happy to see her girlfriend so enthusiastic and talkative.

She was discovering new aspects of her every day, and it always amazed her.

But somewhere deep down, seeing the perfect family pictures given by the Shepherd-Grey Family had upset her a little more than she had anticipated. It was just a reminder of what she had dreamed and wanted for so long. But it was also bringing back to her everything she had done wrong.

Of course, she wasn't the only one at fault in this failure. But her stubbornness and inability to deal with the loss of her brother had led her to rush into trying to build a family that she had so badly wanted.

It was all running through her mind, and she was trying with all she had to stop her inner demons, and was just trying to think about a future with Callie. It was soothing at the beginning, but soon, the dark shadow of her past was casting a gloom over what should be a bright and happy projection.

« Can you drop me at my hotel please? » Arizona blurted out suddenly, taking Callie by surprise.

« You don't want to go to my place? We're almost there. » Callie asked worried. It was not the request her girlfriend made that worried her, it was rather the evasive tone of her voice. It wasn't the same as usual, and Arizona seemed of, her gaze turned towards the window.

She now had two choices: Not pushing her and do as she was asked, or try to make her talk about her shift of mood. It was the typical situation that Callie hated, not knowing which choice was the best, knowing Arizona's unexpected nature.

« Are you tired? » She asked again, trying to make her talk to her.

« Yeah... » The blonde almost whispered, still struggling inside.

Callie tried to look at her for a moment, but it was not easy because of the driving, but as soon as she noticed Arizona's hand scratching her neck, something she hadn't done in days, she looked for the nearest place she could park the car and stopped it.

Arizona didn't get a chance to say anything, Callie had already removed her seat belt and grabbed her hand to stop her from hurting herself.

« Arizona, stop it please... » Callie pleaded as Arizona turned her head towards Callie, meeting the concerned brown eyes on her.

« What's wrong? » Callie insisted, her choice now made. She wouldn't let her girlfriend shut her out.

Arizona tried to regain control of her emotions and take Callie's hand in her, squeezing it affirmatively and kissing it.

« I had a good night, really. Everybody was nice and welcoming. »

« But... »

« There is no but, and that's the thing. » Arizona whispered. « It is not about anything that happened tonight. It's just me and my stupid mind. »

« You want to talk about it? »

« I have to. » Arizona sighed, knowing she had to talk about her feelings out loud to help her forget about them, or at least to deal with them. « I don't know how to express it, and I don't want to do it here. »

« We can go to your room if you want to. Or I can just drive you there. » Callie ventured.

« That's a good idea. »

…...

She had been invited to Arizona's room and she had been surprised at first, but relieved in reality. When she had parked her car, she had just waited for Arizona to do what she had to do. And to Callie's surprise, she had asked Callie to follow her.

Not pushing had been the good choice and now Callie was walking slowly behind her and she was looking at the blonde in that impersonal hallway.

Arizona's demeanor wasn't as usual. Her body was visibly tense and her shoulders were bent. She was walking heavily, each step appearing harder than the last one.

Callie thought something must have triggered an old memory and it was killing her to see her girlfriend so broken.

As Arizona opened the door and entered the room, Callie stood in the door way, hesitating. It was going to be one of those weird moments when Arizona would may be talk about her past she hoped. She needed to know what was on her mind and she wanted to help her through anything she was facing.

Arizona sat on the bed, exhaustion apparent on her face. She rubbed her temple and nervously cracked her phalanges.

« I'm just so tired... » She said, her gaze dropping to the ground and her voice breaking.

Callie gulped with emotion, Arizona was at the most vulnerable state she had ever seen her. She closed the door and walked quietly toward her, kneeling in front of her as she took her hands in her own.

« I'm here babe. » she reassured Arizona.

« I know. I'm just so tired of feeling this... » Arizona replied, still emotional but doing her best not to cry. « I don't want to be a burden Callie. You should go home. I'll be okay. »

« I'm not going anywhere. » Callie insisted, taking a seat next to her and wrapping her arms around her waist to hold her.

« I feel so stupid. I had no clue I would go there again. » Arizona confessed. « The dinner was great, but I don't know, at some point, seeing everybody so natural and happy … I'm not used to that. »

« Is that why you are so on edge? »

« Partially, but somehow, I found myself thinking back about my former life with Annie and everything, you know? »

Callie nodded and began to draw comforting circle on her girlfriend's back.

« Seeing Derek and Meredith and their lovely kids in their beautiful home... It was my dream. And as everything always goes wrong in my life, I screwed it up. » Arizona stated sadly.

« Arizona, it's not too late, you know. You're still young, you can have it all. » Callie replied.

« I know that. I think I just need to get an apartment. » Arizona blurted out and stood up, leaving Callie's embrace.

« I need to stop whining, and start living! » Arizona stated firmly. « I have money back in LA in my bank account for god's sake! I just have to call them, and I have to look for a place. I don't have a lot but it will be enough for the security deposit and a few months' rent. »

« Okay... » was all Callie was able to say as her girlfriend was pacing in front of her, locked in her loud monologue. It was not the first time she was acting this way but it was still surprising.

« Yeah, it will be enough, I guess. And if I took Webber's job, I will have a monthly pay, and then I will have my life back! » She stated, still pacing. « I'm going to work hard and I will be the best head of department of the hospital! And I'm going to live for me, not for them! »

Arizona stopped and she grabbed Callie's hand, making her stand up. She then cupped her face and kissed her and the brunette let her, instinctively wrapping her arms around her waist as the kiss deepened.

« I have no idea what is going on in that pretty head of yours, but that kiss... Wow... » Callie said, as she pulled away to take a breather.

« What's in my head? You are in my head. » Arizona whispered, resting her forehead against Callie's. « I just realized one thing... »

« What is it? »

« I... »

Too upset to talk, Arizona snaked her arms around Callie's neck and rested her head on her girlfriend shoulder, not able to do anything else but cry.

Surprised at first, Callie held her tighter and began to stroke her blonde curls slowly, placing little kisses on her hair. She felt Arizona's embrace becoming stronger.

Tonight, she was discovering a side of Arizona she had barely seen before, and it was something she had been waiting for weeks.

« I'm here baby. I got you. » She whispered in her ear to reassure her. Feeling Arizona's tears rolling down her own neck, she continued to soothe her, hoping her girlfriend would find the solace she needed in her arms.

They stayed like that for some time, their grips never loosening. The world could have fallen apart around them, and they wouldn't have noticed.

And as Arizona raised her eyes to meet brown ones which were showing her nothing but love and support, she knew she was about to start a new life in Seattle.

« I was thinking about a lot of things. When I saw Dereck and Meredith's Dream house, when I saw you with their kids... I couldn't help but think back to my past and my failures. I saw me and Annie, and the baby we lost. I saw my mother and I even heard all the awful things she told me the only time I met her. And before, I would have ran away, I would have chosen the easy way to deal with all those horrible memories. And they were here, ready to invade my mind and to make me miserable once again. But then, I saw a new perspective, a new beginning with you. And I know that the road is still long for me to be totally at peace, but I'm taking the first steps in this new life, and I want you by my side, if you want to. »

« There's nowhere else I would rather be. » Callie replied emotionally, trying her best to restrain her tears.

« I love you Calliope, and I'm going to take the job, and I love you... »

Sealing Arizona's word with a passionate and lingering kiss, Callie felt the emotion in the connection of their lips. It was a sudden revelation, but Arizona was moving on and she was ready to move on with her.

A real new beginning.

...

 **Reviews are a little slow lately. Don't be shy and review the story if you like it. A big twist will happen in chapter 23!**  
 **Let me know what you're expecting!**


	23. It's been a hard days night

**AN:/ Hey guys!**

 **I have nothing to say more than I'm really sorry for the late update! Work, family and life in general has been really taking me away from writting for the past 2 months, but I can tell you that I am more available now!**  
 **You have been more than patient and I hope you still stick with the story!**  
 **So thank you for your last feedback! It had been a real pleasure to read all your reviews!**  
 **Please keep the review button on and let me know wha you think!**

 **Let's read the journey of Arizona and Callie go on as Arizona get back to work.**

...

 _A month later_

She was looking at her reflection in the mirror, both her hands grabbing the edge of the sink and her brows knitted in focus.  
She was ready. She had spent several weeks, working day and night, catching up with her professional abilities, reading articles and learning about her new hospital staff. She had done everything possible to be ready for this day.

The only breaks she had taken were when she was in the lab, working on the trial. And even there, she was found reading, which annoyed her girlfriend.  
They had barely seen each other after Arizona's big revelation, the blonde was always too busy working, or too tired to do anything else but sleep.

Callie was proud at first. She was thrilled to be working with her soon, she had helped her settle her schedule and everything. But then, she had grown frustrated as she got to see Arizona less and less. They were at the starting line of their relationship and it had already been an emotional roller coaster because of Arizona's intricate personality. So she had hoped it would be all rainbows and smiles now.

But Arizona was a real bookworm and when she came to the hospital, she was either with Richard or Dr. Kinley to ask for their advice or to work with them.  
And that was a little annoying for Callie who wanted nothing but to spend time with her girlfriend.

And today was the day that Arizona was officially going to start her job. She wasn't going to be the head of the department for the moment. Kinley still had two months in his contract before retiring. He was going to spend the last few weeks helping Arizona get ready. The older man had been a little distant at first, but had gradually come to terms with the situation. And he had agreed to show her how his department worked.

From a corner of the bathroom, Callie was watching her girlfriend stare at herself.  
She was wondering what the peds surgeon was doing. She approached her slowly, not wanting to break the apparent solemnity of the moment. The tension was almost palpable in the room.

« Everything is going to be great, trust yourself. » Callie said, lightly touching Arizona's arm to let her recognize her presence.

« I know! » Arizona firmly replied, straightening herself, still focused on an invisible spot in front of her. « I know that, I know what I am capable of. »

« Great! So... maybe we can spend some time together before we go to the hospital... » Callie smirked, her hands now wrapped around Arizona's waist from behind.  
Arizona smiled and enjoying the embrace as Callie's hand began to cup her breast under her tank top. She closed her eyes for a moment, and Callie continued her sensual assault, kissing her neck.

« I wanted to ask you something. » Arizona said, letting her lover touch and kiss her body.

« Mmhmm? » Callie mumbled, feeling her arousal growing.

« Has there ever been any disaster at Seattle grace? The blonde asked, leaving Callie's arms and walking to the bedroom nonchalantly, leaving a frustrated brunette behind her.

« What do you mean? » Callie almost grumbled.

« I don't know... Fires, accidents... »

« Sure. Well nothing big has ever happened, but it is a big hospital with all kinds of people coming and going. »

« Well, that's going to change now that I'm here. » Arizona stated, clearly convinced that something was going to happen on her first day back.  
The words were said naturally, without any anger or fear. It was just a statement, and Callie knew where Arizona wanted to go.

« Are you saying that because you're here, something serious is going to happen? »

« You'll see... » Arizona warned her girlfriend.

« Arizona, you've been in other places for years, and accidents didn't happen because you were there... »

« When I began to work at LA's County hospital, an epidemic broke out. It wasn't serious, but a lot of my colleagues got sick, a lot of the patients too. And as far as I know, it all stopped when I left for a mission. »

« It was just a coincidence. » Callie sighed.

« Then, when I came back, a shooter attacked. He killed three nurses and a patient. The chief of surgery was electrocuted while walking to his car which was just next to mine. A cable fell to the ground, and he collapsed right in front of me. » Arizona explained.

« Oh my god! »

« See! You believe me now. »

« Where you hurt? » Callie immediately worried.

« I was. It wasn't as severe as the chief but still. » Arizona replied. « But, whatever... It wouldn't surprise me if anything crazy happened in the next few days, or weeks. »  
Callie rolled her eyes as her girlfriend tied her hair in a simple bun. Sometimes it frustrated her to no end when Arizona spoke about her so-called misfortune. She was a scientist, a doctor. She only believed in real and concrete stuff, so should Arizona.

« And the chief wants to introduce me during the staff meeting this morning. I told him it wasn't necessary, but he insisted. » Arizona sighed. « I hate it. It feels like an induction. »

« I thinks that's a good idea. » Callie smiled at Arizona annoyance. « It's going to be official and it's going to be great. »

She reached her girlfriend, patting her back in an attempt to relax her a little, and maybe take the opportunity to have an intimate interlude with her.

« Oh, and I have to pick a fellow! » Arizona suddenly turned and left the bedroom. « I didn't know I would have one as soon as Kinley would leave. But it's great. I mean, he or she will help me with everything. »

« That's great... » Callie grumbled, still frustrated with her girlfriend's preoccupation with her job.

« I'm just going to put some scrubs on when I get there. » Arizona continued, as she grabbed her bag pack, Callie now in the room with her. « I want to be there early, so that I'll be able to... »

« To? » Callie questioned, her brows raising in curiosity.

« I don't know... » Arizona shrugged.

She was nervous and excited at the same time. She was going to take control of her life again.

...

The introduction to the peds staff had been really quick and easy. Most of the nurses and doctors had already had the opportunity to see Arizona. She had frequented the hallways during the past month enough to be recognizable. She had often been seen with Dr. Kinley, Dr. Torres or Chief Webber and the gossip mill of Seattle grace had done its part.

So it was now official: Arizona will take the department head position after Dr. Kinley's official retirement 90 days later.

For now, she will be working as a pediatric attending, with a light schedule due to her two years break from the field. She still needed time to take her benchmarks.  
That's why Richard had decided to give her a fellow. He thought that would be a good way to help her get her mojo back.

So they were in a conference room where Richard was giving her the files of the four prospects he thought were eligible for the position.

« So here are the four candidates I'm recommending. Two of them are from different hospitals and two of them are residents here. You don't have to choose someone because they are students here. You are free to choose whoever you think has the most potential. I want you to pick the person you think will be the best for the job. »

Arizona smiled at him and grabbed the files.

Making these kinds of decisions was nothing new for her. But this still felt like the first time.  
She needed to get her confidence back, and this was a good way to test it.

The first file was of one Kyron Prescott from Seattle Pres'. His resume was really impressive as a resident but he wasn't very considerate when it came to dealing with children. The second one was Janet Rizzler, a young woman from New York whose resume was more classic. She had worked on a lot of peds cases and was apparently all ready. She had been a resident under Kinley's wings.

Javier Guttierez was the third applicant, with a file full of recommendation letters. He was the chief resident at Hopkins, which was one of Arizona's former place of work, and that meant he was surely a competent and valid candidate.

As she closed his file, she frowned as she read the name of the last prospect. Richard was observing her reaction from a distance, secretly hoping that Arizona would pick this candidate.

She opened the folder and took more time than she took on others, nodding from time to time, her facial expressions still unreadable but focused.  
« You know I know her right? » Arizona asked her new boss as she finally raised her eyes from the papers.

« I know. » Richard simply stated.

« So you did this on purpose? Is she really applying for this fellowship? »

« Absolutely. »

Staring with suspicion at him, Arizona opened the folder again. She would have never assumed her to be a resident, let alone that she would apply to be her fellow.  
« Does she know I'll be her attending? » Arizona asked.

« She does. That's why she chose this fellowship actually. » Richard explained. « She was hesitating between pediatrics and general surgery, but as soon as she found out you would be her mentor, she made up her mind. »

Arizona bit her lip as she heard what Richard was saying. It was a surprise for her, but in a way, she wasn't surprised. Even if she didn't know her that well, she would be thrilled to work with her.

« Well, I guess we're going to interview them first. And I'd like to begin with Miranda Bailey, as soon as possible. »

...

« All I'm saying is that I can't wait for her to be our boss! Kinley is so strict and old fashioned... » The woman in the light grey scrubs said as she walked through the cafeteria door, passing Callie and Meredith.

« She seems really fun and open! » The second nurse continued the enthusiastic discussion. « I really hope she stays all perky, that's what we need in peds! »

Staring at the woman with her brows furrowed, Callie didn't hear the cashier asking her to pay for her lunch and was brought back by a light elbow bump from Meredith.  
« Oh... I'm sorry... » She apologized, paying for her meal and following her friend to the nearest available table.

She was conflicted between pride she felt for Arizona being back at work and the apparent good impression she had made on the staff and a little jealousy.  
This job was taking all of her girlfriend's time and she knew it was for the best, but in a way, she was feeling like she was losing her.

« What is it? » Meredith asked her.

« What is what? »

« The face you're making? Is it because of what the nurses where saying? Because it was good, wasn't it? »

« Yeah, of course it was... » Callie mumbled.

« Don't tell me you're jealous? » Meredith asked.

« What? No, not at all... »

« So what's the problem? Because you seem pretty frustrated right now. » the dirty blonde smirked.

Grumbling some incomprehensible words as she fiercely shook her salad, Callie's face suddenly softened when she saw Arizona entering the room, followed by some residents and Richard Webber. Her smile faded quickly at seeing all the people surrounding her girlfriend.

But as soon as she saw her girlfriend, Arizona waved her and excused herself from the people who were accompanying her, leaving them a bit shocked.  
« Hey! » She greeted her girlfriend as she reached the table, taking a chair and settling with the other two woman.

« Hey... » Callie replied, still a little upset.

Arizona leaned in trying to kiss her lips but was surprised when Callie stopped her.

« Maybe that's not a good idea. »

« What? » Arizona and Meredith asked at the same time.

« To show everybody that we are ... » Callie mumbled in a frustrated tone, avoiding Arizona's gaze on her.

« Why would it be a problem? Everybody already knows you two are together... » Meredith replied, not understanding her friend's strange behavior. « And what's the problem anyway? You weren't shy about displaying your relationship in front of everybody with George or Sloan, or even Erica... »

Clenching her teeth as the general surgeon pronounced those words, Callie knew she was about to be in trouble. Arizona would surely feel left aside or would be upset.

« Are you okay? » Arizona worried, seeing her girlfriend act so coldly towards her.

« So how was your first morning? » Callie suddenly asked, trying to change the subject.

« It went well, but that's not what I asked you. Because I don't know what's wrong with you, but if you don't want to see me, I can go back to work right now... » Arizona grumbled.

She just wanted to have lunch with her girlfriend and tell her about all the people she had met, all the things she had done.

« Oh so now you have time to talk... » Callie fake reproached, knowing what she was doing was unfair.

« Seriously? » Arizona asked in disbelief. « You are going to reproach me because of work? Because I already asked you if it would bother you if I took the job, and you said it was a great... »

Having talked a little louder than she had planned to, Arizona gulped when she noticed the people around looking at them awkwardly.  
« Great... » She said before standing up and walking away, leaving Meredith and Callie where she had found them a few minutes earlier.

The ortho surgeon was now crankier than ever.

« I have no idea what just happened here... » Meredith said. « You were trying to pick a fight. »

« What? No! » Callie replied, knowing her friend was right.

She was not proud of herself, but she had been so frustrated for days and hearing those two nurses practically gushing over her girlfriend had been too much for the brunette surgeon.  
« She's just so absorbed with her new job... » Callie snapped.

Stopping for a minute as she received an annoyed looked from Meredith, Callie gasped and put her hand on her mouth realizing what she was saying was bitter and really unwarranted towards Arizona.

« Oh my god... »

« Oh yeah, finally have you figured out that you've been a bitch? » Meredith asked as she ate her salad.

« I... I have to go. » Callie mumbled, standing up and leaving her tray without having touched anything on her tray.

...

When she arrived at the peds' nurses' station, she immediately found the woman she was looking for.  
Arizona was speaking with a woman, visibly younger. She didn't know her.

But what annoyed her the most was the woman's hand that was negligently touching her girlfriends arm.  
But instead of staying a simple observer, she decided it was time for her to show everybody Arizona was hers.

« Hey. » She greeted a surprised Arizona who turned to face her.

The blonde was totally taken aback by her girlfriend's forced smile. She frowned her, her mouth opened to say something but she was too stunned to emit any kind of sound.  
What was Callie doing here all of a sudden with the fakest smile she had ever seen plastered on her face, when she was giving her the cold shoulder less than half an hour ago?

« Hello, I'm Callie Torres, Ortho. » Callie introduced herself, checking the younger girl from head to toe. « And you are? »

« I'm... I'm Teresa Paterson. »

« Which year? »

« I'm... I'm an intern. I'm working in peds today. » she explained, intimidated by Callie's insistent gaze on her.

« Oh, you're just an intern. That's why I didn't' recognize you. I don't work with interns usually. They're so awkward and clumsy... » Callie said, laughing a little too much. And she knew then that she had made everybody around her uncomfortable.

« What... What are … Why are you here? » Arizona managed to say, shaking her head.

« I wanted to see you. » Callie simply explained. « You left so fast earlier, I haven't had the time to kiss you... »

She bit her lip and leaned in to kiss her girlfriend, but Arizona stepped back.

« What the... not here, not now... » Arizona said in a low voice, as Teresa was now completely ill-at-ease. « Can you excuse me for a minute Teresa? »  
The young intern nodded, happy to get an escape card her superior had just offered her.

At the same time, Arizona looked at Callie with a questioning gaze. What was happening? And here she was, trying to figure out what to say after the unexpected event she had just lived through.

Maybe it was normal. Maybe it was how Callie was in the daily work life.

« Why are you here? » It was the only thing she was able to mumble, still trying to figure things out in her head.

« Well it's a pleasure to see you too... » Callie grumbled, annoyed by Arizona's clear lack of enthusiasm to see her. « I wanted to have a moment with you before my big surgery... But apparently you were too busy... »

« Did I do something wrong? » Arizona asked worriedly, cutting the brunette off.

Seeing the clear fear in her girlfriend's eyes because of her weird behavior, Callie felt bad instantly. She had been so frustrated and so angry all day long, in fact, for a few days if she was being honest, that she had let her bad mood take the lead. She hadn't been able to talk to Arizona sincerely, to express her feelings.

« I... I don't... »

She was interrupted by Arizona's phone and let a growl of frustration escape.

« Hello? » Arizona took the call without any consideration for Callie, whose bitterness was back full force. « Yes that would be me... Tomorrow at 8:30? I'll be there! Thank you!"

« Who was on the phone? »

« A real estate agent. » Arizona replied, putting the phone back in her pocket.

« Really? Why? »

« Because I contacted him to find me an apartment and he apparently found some places that fit my criteria. » Arizona tried to explain.

« But you have your hotel room... » Callie stated.

« It's a hotel room. I want a place that is mine. » the blonde said.

« And when were you going to tell me? »

« I didn't know when he would call me back. I only contacted him a few days ago. »

« Well, at least now I know... » Callie grumbled.

« Are you upset with me? » Arizona worried. She was totally lost, between her fear to act awkwardly and Callie's unexpected reaction.  
And now it was her pager which interrupted the conversation.

« I have to go... It's a 911... » Callie said, sighing. It was a real bad time to be paged.

« Wait. You're not going to leave me like this! » Arizona finally let her concern appear.

« Sorry... It's the job... take care now... »

And with that she was gone.

...

« Dr. Robbins! » Richard called his new recruit as he saw her roving in the ER, visibly lost in her thoughts.

And that was right. Arizona Robbins was totally lost right now. There was too much happening today already in her life. Being back at work after months of leave was really hard for her, knowing her past experiences.

She had to focus on a lot of things, new faces and new challenges. She was the new girl in town, so everybody wanted to know a little more about her.  
It was a lot and she was beginning to feel the difficulty of taking a huge break in her career.  
But right now she was dealing with an angry girlfriend and she had no idea why everything she was saying seemed to piss Callie off.  
Since the morning, she hadn't seen her smiling genuinely. She knew she had been a little distant since she had decided to get back to work, but she thought Callie was okay with that.

She had been supportive and Arizona was relieved that she was.  
She didn't want to intrude her girlfriend's professional space at all. Callie was one of the most loved and respected surgeons of the hospital, and she didn't want to be a burden for her.

So even if she felt welcomed by the staff, she was walking on eggshells and Callie's unexpected behavior wasn't helping.  
Had she done something to upset her? Or was it how things were going to be at work? Was Callie hiding something from her?  
After all, thinking back, she was sure she had said or done something to make her mad, but as usual she wasn't able to remember what it could be.

« Robbins? » Richard called her again and she finally snapped out her reverie.

« Yes? »

« I was looking for you! » Richard continued noticing his colleague's sad expression. « Are you okay? Everybody welcoming you well? »

« Yeah, I mean... Everything is great... it's just a lot to take in, but I'm good! » The blonde replied, making a dubious pout, readjusting her lab coat and walking towards her chief. « Why were you looking for me? »

« I have a patient for you. I think it would be a good case to get back on track. »

« Sure... » Arizona shyly smiled.

« It's a four years old boy with a giant heart tumor. He had it since he was born, but he was too weak to undergo operation. »

« Sir, with all due respect and without belittling my ability as a surgeon, I think it's a pretty tricky case for a comeback... » Arizona immediately replied. « I don't think it's a good idea... I'd rather begin with a more benign procedure if it's possible. »

« Let me finish Robbins. » The older man put his hand on her shoulder. « Of course it's a tough case, but you won't be alone of course. Dr. Yang will be there with you. Oh, and another cardio surgeon will be with you as well. She has followed the boy since his birth. She's not a Peds specialist but she's his aunt. »

« Okay! » Arizona sighed in relief. « That sounds better... Can I see the chart? »

« I will send it to you, you can have a look. » Richard explained. « I really hope you'll get along well with his aunt. She can be cold and reluctant to work with other surgeons. »

« Does she work here? »

« She used to, but she quit a few years ago. » Richard stated,

« Well, I'm going to read the charts, and I will do everything to make the Aunt trust me! » Arizona smiled, happy to be trust by her chief even if she would rather have an observer role for the surgery. She grabbed a tablet and checked the charts Richard sent.

« Reese Hahn, is that him? »

« That's the boy! »

...

It was not going to be the end of them right?  
Maybe it was. No... That was not possible.

But as her thoughts ran through her mind, Arizona remembered the fiasco her past relationships had been.  
Mostly because of herself in her opinion. Because she was a bit too much most of times. She had lost a lot of people and she knew life was too short to be wasted. So she wanted everything immediately and she had skipped some stages like With Annie and with Maggie it had been awkward.

And now she wasn't sure about how to behave in a romantic relationship anymore. Add to that the fact she had been alone in the streets for almost 2 years, barely connecting with anyone and avoiding her personal life completely, she wasn't fooling herself, she had social interaction issues.  
She told Callie once that she was socially damaged, and she was sure about that.

Trying to remember any details that should have antagonized Callie, she was now angry at herself for not being able to pinpoint what she could have done.  
After checking the charts of the young boy Richard had assigned her to, she had at last finished her day and was walking to the attending's lounge with a mixed feeling regarding her first day back.

It was supposed to be a great day. She even wanted to celebrate with Callie that night, one way or another, but now, it was compromised. All she was feeling was an emotional exhaustion which was bringing tears in her eyes, but she was trying with everything she had to restrain them.

She opened the door slowly, trying to think about anything else when she almost bumped into Mark Sloan who was exiting the lounge.  
Surprised by the unexpected encounter, she couldn't help but cringe to see « the ex-husband » as she referred to him.

« Sorry » she mumbled trying to avoid a conversation.

Mark looked at her and smirked as the blonde passed in front of him and walked directly to her newly assigned locker.

« She will come around. Don't be mad at her. » he stated making Arizona turn to meet his gaze.

« What are you talking about? »

« Torres... We operated on the same patient earlier. She just sucks when it comes to speaking her heart. She's awkward and when she tries to really tell what's annoying her, she just makes things worst most of the time. So she keeps her mouth shut and becomes grumpy. But she will come around. »

« What is it with you? How can you know anything when even I don't know what I did wrong, or what I shouldn't have said... » Arizona sighed. « Anyway, I don't want to be rude, but it's none of your business Dr. Sloan... »

« Please, call me Mark, Blondie... » the tall man teased her. « We share a woman so we can call each by our first names right? »

Gasping, Arizona wasn't in the mood to handle the joke. She turned on her heels and left the room faster than she had entered it, not taking the time to get changed.  
This day was really meant to be complicated.

...

A few hours later, it was Callie who was finally ending her workday. It had been a long and exhausting day for her too.

She knew she had to make it up to her girlfriend, but she was now feeling extremely nervous.  
She was often annoyed by Arizona's weird behavior and her weird ways to deal with her emotions, but it was now herself who was acting lamely, only because she was unable to talk about her frustrations with her girlfriend.

And as she was now used to Arizona's way of thinking, she was sure that the blonde was totally upset. It was going to be a long night. It would take time for both of them, but she was so in love that she was going to do everything to get her back.

She was walking to her office to pick her bag and get changed when she stopped in the middle of the hallway, seeing her girlfriend, in one of the conference room, visibly asleep.  
She was alone in the big room files scattered on the table. It was late and there was just a little desk light on.

Callie gulped, knowing that she had to go and wake her up. She walked to the door and opened it quietly, not wanting to wake her up with a start.  
Everything was peaceful around when she closed the door and walked to sit next to the blonde. She was just beautiful when she was sleeping.

Callie loved to watch her when she was sleeping. She seemed at peace and carefree, her facial features softened when she usually appeared always a little on edge when awake.  
Arizona had her head put on her crossed arms, which were on the large wooden table, her hair covering almost all the parts of her face.

Callie hesitated for a moment, but she took the chance, pushing her girlfriend's hair away from her face and she came closer, leaning in to kiss her cheeks.  
Well, it was what she attempted to do, but instead, she was welcomed by a sudden move from Arizona who was now fully awake.

« Don't touch me! » she yelled, pushing Callie's hand away fiercely.

Surprised by the roughness of the unexpected reaction, Callie remained stuck in surprise. She swallowed her first reaction which would have been to yell back. But it had been a stressful day for Arizona, so she wasn't going to take it against her.

« Hey... » She whispered, trying to reassure her girlfriend. « It's just me... »

« I... » Arizona mumbled, trying to remember where she was, a little out of breath. She looked around her quickly and finally her scared eyes met Callie's. « I'm sorry... I don't... »  
« Hey, hey, it's okay... » Callie repeated softly. « You were asleep and I saw you here. »

« I didn't mean to do that... » Arizona continued, still a little lost. « I'm sorry. »

« You don't have to apologize you know that, right? »

« It's just... It's a reflex from... When I was on the street I was used to sleeping lightly, and whenever... » Arizona stopped herself, not wanting to go further. « I'm really sorry... »

« It's okay, really... » Callie smiled at her, taking one of her hands in her own. The physical contact seemed to quiet Arizona immediately. « I was on my way to my locker when I saw you. I thought you would be back in your room by now. Your shift ended hours ago. »

« I didn't want to go back without talking to you. » Arizona explained sincerely. « I had a very long day, and I know you're mad at me. I just wanted to wait for you, so I stayed here and worked on some papers. And I wanted for you to give me a chance to make it up to you... »

« What are you talking about? » Callie raised her eyebrows suddenly realizing what Arizona was referring to.

« I know I've been only focused on my come back and I have left you aside. And I'm sorry for that... »

« Arizona... »

« No, it's true. I should have been more available for you. I should have taken things slow and... »

« Stop it! You're not the one to blame here! » Callie insisted. « It's true I was a little frustrated to see you less the past month. But I knew that you were busy, and I should have express my need to see you more, instead of letting you think I was okay with it. But you needed time to work too. I didn't want to bother you... »

Realizing now that they were both fearing each other's reaction, Callie smiled and let out a relieved sigh.

« We are two idiots. » Arizona smiled at her girlfriends constrained expression.

« Maybe, but I've been awful today. » Callie confessed. « I've been treating you hot and cold, I've been acting like a spoiled child who want her toy all for herself... It was your first day, and I ruined it. »

« No you didn't. » Arizona smiled, coming closer to Callie. « You've been really awkward, but at least you talked to me now. And so you're going to have to make it up to me! »

Callie smiled. « I will, I promise! I just want you to feel good, and I failed at that... »

« Really, Callie, it's just the lack of communication. I suck at communicating properly. »

« So do I... » Callie continued. « I was a jerk to put that much pressure on you. »

« I'm just relieved it wasn't only me... » Arizona confessed. « Because I'm so unable to read people's expectations. Promise me you'll tell me if I'm doing something inappropriate or something that upsets you, if it happens... And I'm sure it's going to happen... »

« Stop that right here! » Callie warned. « I am the one who went all jealous and grumpy on you... So stupid that I haven't asked you about your first day, how has it been? »

Relieved by the way the situation was going, Arizona began to tell Callie how amazing her day had been.  
She had seen a lot of people and she was eager to go back to her real job. She talked about how Miranda Bailey was going to be her fellow and was surprised Callie had never told her she was a Doctor too.

« Well it's been a really busy day for you apparently! » Callie proudly patted Arizona's back. « I'm proud of you! And you see? »

« What? »

« Nothing bad happened! No disaster, no trauma! » Callie smiled.

« Well you were mad at me, it's one of the worst things that can happen to me! »

« I'm sorry... » Callie repeated as Arizona leaned in to kiss her softly.

« Don't be. I would never be here today without you. » She replied, feeling Callie's sincere apologies.

Opening her arms, Arizona embraced Callie and rested her cheek on her shoulder.

« I love you... » Callie whispered in her blonde's ear.

Arizona smiled when she heard the loving words and closed her eyes. Everything was great at the end of the day finally.  
But the calm wasn't there to last long and suddenly the doors opened abruptly, breaking the intimacy of the moment.

« Oh I'm sorry! » the newcomers apologized, turning her head to avoid eye contact.

« Geez! Wilson what is it? » Callie asked her fellow, breaking the embrace and readjusting her position.

« I was looking for Dr. Robbins... » Jo explained as Arizona stood up to look at her.

« Well she's here... » Callie grumbled.

« What is it Dr. Wilson. » Arizona stated as Jo looked at her from head to toe. It was the first time she saw her as a surgeon and not a patient.

« Something happened and Dr. Webber wants to see you as soon as possible. » the younger woman explained.

« Well I'm sure it can wait until tomorrow right? I'm tired... » Arizona sighed.

Noticing the stern look on her fellow's face, Callie began to think that the night she wanted out of the hospital spending time with Arizona wasn't going to happen.

« Spill it Wilson, what is it? » Callie insisted.

«It's Dr. Kinley... »

« Oh no... He doesn't want me to take over his service... I knew it... » Arizona said. « So Webber wants to tell me I'm fired... »

« No, it's not that...Dr. Kinley just... He had a heart attack less than an hour ago. » Jo stated.

« Oh my god... » Callie and Arizona said at the same time.

« Where is he? Which OR? » Arizona worried.

« He died on the spot... »

...

 **Coming next ... Arizona is going to be the Head of the department sooner than expected... Another blonde will be back... an unexpected friendship might appear...**

 **The chapter is half written, and I should be able to send it to my beta soon. And once again, I'd like to thank her for her amazing job!**

 **Continue to review to tell me if you like the chapter or not, to tell me your expectations!**


	24. Worst case scenario

**AN : Hey guys!**  
 **I have nothing to say but I'm sorry fo this late update.**  
 **This chapter had been rewritten so many times and yet I'm not so happy with it.**  
 **I tried my best and hope you'll like it.**  
 **I'm very flattered with all your review and it motivates me a lot. I'm going to try to post more regularly, I swear!**  
 **Shyalien is as always my amazing beta, so thanks to her one more time!**

 **Don't hesitate to let me know what you think. Your reviews matters a lot!**  
 **I wish you an amazing year, love succes fortune and everything you dream about!**

 _Flashbacks are in italic_

 _..._

 _They were going to be the first words coming out of her girlfriend's mouth. She was sure of it. How the hell could it have happened, today? She knew she was being irrational, but in a way, there was still this omen in her life._

 _« I told you... » Arizona said, throwing her hoodie on her hotel bed. « It' just the beginning... I attract disaster... You believe me now? »_

 _« It's just a coincidence Arizona... » Callie repeated for the hundredth time. « Kinley was a white male in his late sixties and he wasn't a choir child, believe me. »_

 _« That's not the problem... » Arizona grumbled, letting herself fall on the bed, still under the shock of Kinley's death._

 _« It is... He was a smoker, he had drinking problems in the past and... »_

 _« Callie please... stop it... » Arizona warned her._

 _She was tired after her first day back as a doctor and this unexpected twist had done a number on her. It had surely triggered an old pattern, and all she wanted to do was prevent the dark ideas from taking over her thoughts. The best way of doing that was to spend a night with her girlfriend and forget about everything else._

 _But Callie was not ready to drop the subject and she went on._

 _« It's so stupid to think this way! It's not a curse or whatever the hell you think is haunting you and your surroundings... »_

 _« So you're calling me stupid? » Arizona asked in an annoyed tone._

 _Sighing in defeat, Callie realized she might have pushed it too far. « No... Of course not…» She offered her girlfriend an empathic smile. « Come on, let's get out of here... I'm taking you to my place and cook for you. »_

 _« I'm tired... » Arizona snapped. « And I'm not in the mood... »_

 _« I won't take no for an answer... »_

…...

She was at the counter at Joe's after a long shift.

She was settled, alone and rubbing her forehead in an attempt to quieten the headache she knew was coming. It was always the same when she was confused, she had terrible headaches as if her brain was physically showing her it was having trouble dealing with the emotions she had experienced. It began with tension in her shoulders and gradually went up along her neck until it became almost unbearable.

It was like a usual thing for her lately, coming to the pub where she and Callie had their first date, ordering a drink and trying to let the stress of the day slip away.

But tonight, something was just too much to handle. And as the bartender served her tequila, she wasn't able to restrain her tears.

She wasn't sobbing, the tears were just rolling down her face, and even if she tried to wipe them away with her hand, they wouldn't stop. Was it exhaustion? Sadness? Deception?

She was used to this. She had faced it too many times but it was still heartbreaking for her to lose a patient. And the past couple of days had been a real nightmare with her girlfriend. Nothing was going as she wanted it to and she had no clue about how she could stop it.

« So you ended up here too? » Christina Yang asked her as she settled on the stool next to her, signaling the bar tender to serve her the same liquor as the blonde.

Surprised by the intrusion, Arizona just swallowed hard and tried to keep it cool. Christina Yang was not really the person she wanted to hang out with right now.

« Yeah... » She managed to reply, her voice hoarse.

« Today was fucked up. » Christina stated, emptying her glass in one sip.

Arizona looked at her and imitated her, showing their empty glasses to the waiter who refilled them.

« Leave the bottle here. » Christina told him and the young man obeyed.

« I will do that, but I'll have to ask for your car keys... » He replied as the cardio surgeon did what she was asked to, without resistance.

Drinking a few glasses in silence, Arizona sighed heavily when she noticed her phone was ringing.

« You should take the call. » Christina said. « She can be annoying when she's upset. Believe me, she was my roommate for over a year... »

« I can't... » Arizona sincerely replied.

And it was the truth. She couldn't speak to Callie. She was still mad at her for everything that had happened, for everything she had said to her this afternoon and for all the reproaches she had made towards her. But she was also madly in love with her. She just wanted everything to get back to normal and not live in the mess their relationship had become in such a short time.

« Listen Robbins... I know it's been hard, but that's the job. » Christina stated. « I hate it when it happens, but we couldn't have saved him. »

« I know... I know. »

« And the rest is just... I don't know everything that happened between you two, but she loves you Robbins. I agree she shouldn't have said all those things, but there's history between Hahn and her. I think she was a little upset to see her back at the hospital. But don't worry. She just has a big mouth. She speaks her heart without filter, without thinking. She has always been like that and it has gotten her into trouble more than once. » Christina explained. « But believe me, she must be feeling miserable right now, crying over you, looking for you everywhere... »...

…...

 _« Why is she here? » Arizona whispered to Christina as the two of them were walking to meet Hahn, Reese and his family, recognizing the intimidating and clod stare of her colleague. « She is supposed to be the head of cardio at Portland Memorial right? So why won't she treat the boy there...»_

 _Smiling as they entered the elevator, Christina was now sure her guess was correct: Arizona knew Erica Hanh by reputation but she seemed to ignore her past in Seattle Grace._

 _« Well, at least you know her name and she is a pain in the ass believe me. I worked with her for over a year and it was a nightmare. She is a robot, worse than me. She is arrogant, self-engrossed, she thinks she is the best surgeon on the planet. So, my guess is that she doesn't trust any of her coworkers in Portland and I am the lesser of the two evils she has as options because she partially trained me. »_

 _« Oh »... Arizona said._

 _« Yeah... she was my teacher so in her mind I am still her fellow. And I was a good resident as she claimed. She's here because they won't let her operate on the boy because she is family...That's all. » Christina continued, the doors opening. « Does Torres knows she is here? »_

 _« I don't know... » Arizona perplexedly replied._

 _« So you haven't talked to her about it? »_

 _« Not really. It's just a patient. I mean, we talk about work but I have just been here since a few days, and with Kinley's death, it's been hectic. » Arizona sighed, not getting why Christina was asking her such details._

 _« Well, maybe it's for the best that she doesn't know Hanh is here»... The head of cardio mumbled, quickly reviewing some data on her tablet._

 _« What do you mean? » Arizona worried._

 _« It's not my place to tell you, but you should warn her if you want my opinion. », Christina insisted, opening the door of room 246 where little Reese was waiting for them._

 _As soon as they entered the room, Arizona felt the pressure of the taller blonde woman on her. Erica Hanh was an intimidating woman and renowned surgeon, and she was just the new doctor in town, back on the field after months of being away from medicine. She had to be perfect for that first meeting._

 _« Dr. Hanh, nice to see you again ». Cristina said, walking to the bed and consulting her tablet._

 _« Dr. Yang... » she coldly replied, her eyes still on Arizona._

 _« This is my brother Stanley and his wife Tricia. And the little man here is their son Reese, so he's my nephew. »Erica emphasizes, a proud and almost warm smile on her face._

 _« Thank you for the information but I have read the chart. » Cristina replied tensely. « Nice to meet you Mr. and Mrs. Hahn. This is Dr. Robbins, she's the head of our pediatrics unit and she will work with me on your son's case. »_

 _As the parents sincerely greeted Arizona, Erica looked at the scene from the corner of the room. She observed that Dr. Robbins who was talking and laughing with her nephew. She was the opposite of her when it came to relationships with patients apparently. She would have never laughed with them, keeping everything professional and distant. But, she had been told that the blonde would be the one to operate with Yang so she had checked her background and was ready for a big interview._

 _« Dr. Robbins, can I talk to you privately? » She asked in a professional tone._

 _« Sure... » Arizona replied, looking at Christina with a worried smile._

 _They walked outside the room and Arizona could feel the questions coming._

 _« As you may know it, I worked here for years. And I have to say I was surprised when Dr. Webber gave me your name. You are new here, right? » Erica directly asked._

 _« Yes I am, but you don't have to worry. I have been studying Reese's case for days. I have been working on it with Dr. Yang. She is an amazing surgeon and... »_

 _« I know that. I taught her. » Erica cut her off. « My concern is not Yang, she will stick to the plan I made. My concern is you... »_

…...

« I'm just across the street but I feel so far away from her... » Arizona explained. « And anyway, I can't face her now. I just want to get drunk and get back to my place, crawl in my bed and wake up with the biggest hangover headache I've ever had. I hope it will help me stop thinking! »

« I like your plan! » Christina smirked.

Arizona had just found a drinking buddy, and it was a good thing. But something about Christina Yang was off tonight, and she had felt that immediately even though she didn't know her that well.

« Be my guest... » the blonde forced a smile and served them another glass.

« Nothing else I'd like to do! » Christina yelled, raising her glass. « To Callie Torres who is the master of messing up her love life! And to my dear husband who is cheating on me with my best friend's sister in law! »

Gasping at the revelation she just heard, Arizona tried to process Christina's confession... It took a few minutes for the truth to hit her as they were drinking. That's why Christina was so dark.

« Amelia? » She asked, staring at the cardio surgeon in disbelief.

« Yep... » Christina sadly admitted. « Amelia Shepherd herself... »

« I'm sorry... » Arizona genuinely said. « I know it won't help, but I'm sorry... »

« Thanks... » Christina mumbled between two shots, not really ready to reveal more information. « So, what about Torres? What happened between you two? » She tried to change the painful subject of her husband's adultery.

« It's not interesting. » Arizona sighed. « It's just … its how my life has always been, and it's really not interesting. »

« I have the right to know! » Christina stated. « Did she cheat on you? »

« What? No! » The blonde automatically replied. « This has nothing to do with cheating. »

« Did you cheat on her? » the cardio surgeon asked, her tone colder.

« What? No! It's nothing like that... »

« So then there is nothing serious! » Christina replied, downing another shot. « Just talk to her, get your head out of your ass and make her talk to you and it will all be okay. »

« I don't know... »

…...

 _Callie was nervously pacing in the hallway next to the OR where young Reese Hanh was being operated on. She couldn't go to the gallery, she was too nervous for that. Erica was in there, scrutinizing every detail of the operation, using the intercom to yell her frustrations of not being allowed in the OR after regular intervals._

 _Callie wasn't able to face her. But the presence of her ex had woken up some old feelings in her and she was really nervous about them._

 _It had nothing to do with love. It was over between them, had been, for a long time. But she had always felt inferior to Erica in every way and she was still intimidated by her. And she was feeling guilty because she had broken up with her a few days before their wedding. It was for the best since the two of them didn't want the same things in life and it took her quite some time to admit that she had given up a lot of her dreams for Erica. But she was the one who had ended the relationship and she could never forget the shock and the disarray in Erica's eyes when she had told her she wouldn't marry her._

 _She hadn't heard anything from her after that fateful night, the blonde had just disappeared on her, leaving everything behind, even her belongings in their house and her job at Seattle Grace._

 _That's why along with all the guilt she was still feeling because of her ex, she was also feeling responsible for Reese's fate because her new girlfriend was trying to save his life._

 _Biting her nails, she jumped when she heard the doors opening loudly and Cristina walking out with Arizona. Both women seemed distraught and it wasn't a good sign._

 _« So? » She immediately asked._

 _« He didn't make it... » Cristina replied coldly in her typical robot tone. « He was too weak. »_

 _« No... That's not possible! You told me you had a plan! » Callie nervously said, shocked by what she just heard._

 _« It was impossible Callie, I told you that. It would have been a miracle if he would have survived. »Arizona said, knowing the answer Callie was looking for wasn't available._

 _« Aren't you supposed to be one of the best peds surgeon? » Callie reproached, almost yelling. « He was a good kid, he didn't deserve this! »_

 _« Nobody deserves this. But he was doomed, from the day his condition was diagnosed, his parents knew he wouldn't grow to be a man. » Arizona tried to keep her calm. « We did everything we could. »_

 _« Well you should have tried harder! » Callie harshly stated, regretting the tone she used immediately._

 _« I … I have to go inform the parents. » The blonde mumbled, her gaze riveted to the ground._

 _« I... »_

 _« Don't say anything more. » Cristina interrupted Callie as the two of them watched Arizona walk away. « You have said enough. »_

…...

At the same moment, Meredith Grey was with Callie, having coffee in the lounge as their shifts were over. She knew Erica Hahn was there because she had seen her.

She had even seen Arizona and Christina with her, having a tense conversation from what she had heard. The news of the failure of the operation had been heard by everybody, Erica had made sure everybody knew how incompetent the surgeons of Seattle Grace were before she joined her family to say their last good bye in the morgue.

« I'm so exhausted... » Callie said, rolling her neck and rubbing it.

« What are you going to do? » Meredith asked.

« I...I just... want to be here in case... » The brunette said mindlessly, sitting in the armchair next to her.

She wasn't sure what she should do and it was frustrating her. She was ashamed, sad and lost.

« Callie... Why aren't you looking at me? » her friend asked, noticing that something was bothering the Latina.

« What are you talking about Grey? I'm looking at you. »

« You're making a face. »

« I'm not. » Callie replied, still lost in her thought.

« You are... » Meredith insisted as she came to the conclusion she feared. « You are nervous? »

« Why would I be nervous? »

« Because Hahn is here! And apparently, she still has some power over you...! »

« I... It's not what you think... » Callie sighed. She didn't want to talk about it. She was already sick and tired about the way things had turned between her and her girlfriend. She just wanted some support. But Meredith wasn't the one who was going to give it to her.

« Don't tell me you're trying to play the 'I'm concerned about my actual girlfriend' card when you want nothing more than to run to your ex! » the dirty blonde reproached again.

« What? Are you crazy! » Callie gasped. « How could you say that! »

« I know the power she had on you Callie. She made you do whatever she wanted. » Meredith quietly tried to explain her point of view. « She had tried to change who you were in so many ways. She doesn't deserve your care or worry, at all! »

« I don't care about her. It's just... We almost got married. It's not nothing... » Callie tried to justify herself, noticing what she meant had come out of her mouth in the wrong way.

« You better forget about it before I kick your ass. You are with Arizona now, and she doesn't deserve to be treated like this. She must have already been bullied by Hahn. So, you're going to suck it up and go to your place, not trying to get in touch with Erica! »

« But it's not... »

« That's an order! Move! » Meredith said.

« I can't... and that's not because of Erica... » Callie replied. «I can't let Arizona be alone right now. But I don't know where she is. »

« Why? She's a grown up. And she's with Christina. »

« I... I screwed up. Once again... » The brunette sighed, on the verge of tears. « I need to see her! »

…...

« It was written a long time ago... » Christina said a little too loudly, her cheeks reddened by the high level of alcohol she had consumed. « The boy was doomed. And the family knew it was a risky surgery. »

« I know that! » Arizona replied, her mental state altered by the tequila. « It's just that if we had been more persuasive, he could have lived longer. »

« It was their choice... and he would have died anyway. He could have lived what? A few weeks? And in what condition? In continuous suffering? Having attacks and seizures? » Christina continued. « At least he went peacefully in his sleep. No suffering, no tearful goodbyes. »

« I wish I would have had some tearful goodbye with some people I lost... » the blonde noted sadly.

« Listen Robbins, I don't know you well enough to understand what you're talking about, plus I'm drunk and … »

« And? » Arizona asked her newly found drinking buddy, feeling irritation in her throat due to the drinking. She found Christina's eyes wide open and an awkward smile drawing on her face. « What is it Yang? »

« What is she doing here? » Christina mumbled, her expression still unreadable.

« Who are you talking about? » Arizona worried, thinking Amelia Shepherd had just entered the bar. If their places had been reversed, she would have already left the place, trying not to make a scene in front of the public which was mostly composed of the hospital staff and workers.

« Torres! What is she doing here? You think she's looking for you after the ... »

Christina didn't get the chance to end her sentence and Arizona didn't get enough time to understand what she was saying when Callie reached them.

« Hey! » She immediately said, making Arizona turn on her stool to face her.

The blonde was so intoxicated at that point, that it took her a minute to refocus and realize her girlfriend was right in front of her.

« What do you want Torres? Haven't you done enough already? » Christina mumbled. « Leave us alone, we are celebrating! »

« Christina, you're drunk... » Callie stated, already annoyed.

« So am I... » Arizona said, a goofy smile on her face, making Callie realize she was drunk too.

After some awkward silence, Arizona burst into laughter, quickly beginning to sob. She was unable to restrain all the emotions she had felt that day.

…...

 _It was over and it was too hard to take._

 _She was supposed to be one of the best surgeons of her specialty, and so was Christina Yang. But despite all their work and energy they put into saving that little boy's life, they had failed._

 _She was the first one to leave the OR, and she had to let her frustration out as much as she could. So the dirty scrub hamper took it from her fist, as soon as she closed the door behind her._

 _She had seen Callie's face when she heard the terrible news, staring at her in shock, her mouth wide open._

 _She had seen Erica Hahn's world collapse and all she could think about was that Callie wouls have rush to take her ex-girlfriend in her arms if she had been near by._

 _And of course Callie's words were running in her head, again and again._

 _« Promise me you won't let him die... »_

 _And even if all the odds were against it, she had made the promise._

 _« We did everything possible Robbins. » Christina said, entering the room. « There was no way he would have survive. He was too weak. »_

 _Unable to answer. Arizona left the room and walked through the hallways. She wanted to go back and succeed. She wanted to save that tiny human but, she had failed. And she was devastated._

 _She didn't want to face Erica Hahn who had been a pain in her ass since the day she met her in Reese's room. She couldn't face Callie who had been more upset than she thought she'd be when she learned her ex was in town and that Arizona was going to operate on her nephew._

 _She needed air and she was almost running to get out of the place._

 _She took the stairs, slow in pace because of the pain in her stump. But that was not stopping her._

 _Reaching the door of the back exit, she opened it and let her anger and frustration go by yelling loudly._

 _She was supposed to be Arizona Robbins, new head of Seattle Grace Pediatrics, but right now, she was the shadow of herself, the same failure she thought she had always been._

…...

« Arizona... » Callie whispered, taking the blonde in her arms as she was still crying silently, unable to say a word.

She let Callie embrace her for a moment but suddenly she couldn't take it.

« I can't do this tonight Callie, I'm sorry... » Arizona said, pulling away from Callie's arms and trying to standup. « I'm not ready to talk about it, and I can't handle an argument. »

« I don't want to argue, I want to apologize. »

« See that's the problem... » Arizona said sadly. « We've been together for what? A few months, and I have already hurt you several times. »

« What are you saying? I was the one doing and saying inappropriate things! ».

« I can't... I'm sorry... » Arizona said, feeling the alcohol taking over her completely. « I... I'm not good for you and I can't let you... It's not... »

At this point Arizona wasn't sure about what she was going to say next, and all she saw was Callie's worried expression.

« I'm sorry about the way I reacted, okay? It was all so unexpected. I didn't end things in a cordial way with Erica and I was feeling kind of guilty... I was ashamed. I was never enough for her. I was just in ortho, I was just an attending not the head of my department at that point. I wanted things she considered useless. »

« Callie, I'm not reproaching you or anything. »

« I don't care about her anymore. It took me time but she's totally out of my life. It was a stupid reaction. » Callie sincerely said.

« Well, I never insinuated such a thing. » Arizona said.

« Yeah, but you should have... » Callie said, her tone harsh.

« See, this what I'm talking about... » Arizona sadly replied. « You're picking a fight. »

« Arizona, I'm not... »

« You are in a way. It's maybe some unconscious behavior. But everything has been an excuse to fight lately. Me saying I was uncomfortable with Kinley's death, me taking an apartment, me operating on that kid, me not knowing who Erica Hanh was... »

« I wasn't picking fights... You're not really thinking that, are you? »

« I'm just drunk right now. I had a terrible day and all I wanted was to forget about it by getting drunk with Yang... » Arizona mumbled, alcohol taking control of her.

« I should give you a ride to your hotel. »

« I left the hotel 3 days ago. » Arizona confessed, having trouble keeping her eyes focused. « I'm live in my apartment now. »

« Oh... » Callie said, her emotions a mixture between surprise and annoyance. She wasn't aware of that move. « I can drive you to your place then. »

« We'll call a cab. » Christina interrupted the conversation. « I'll make sure she gets to her bed safely. »

« Shut it Yang, nobody asked you anything. »

« Correct. But I think your discussion isn't going anywhere and I think you will regret it if you keep this up. And by the way, we were doing well before you arrived. So let us be and you will get a chance to talk later. »

She received a death glare from the Latina. Christina knew what she was doing.

Arizona wasn't really in a state where she could understand what her newly found friend was doing and she was just trying to keep her balance on her stool.

Looking in the Cardio surgeon's eyes, Callie gulped in understanding. Nodding, she gave the two woman an awkward smile. She smiled weakly at Christina, letting her know she was right and she was going before the situation worsened under these unfavorable circumstances.

« I... Ok... » She dejectedly said. « I'm going. I will see you tomorrow? »

« Sure... » Arizona mumbled again. « I have the day off. »

Leaning in, Callie kissed her temple and stroked the blonde's cheek, not really wanting to go.

« Have a good night. »

« See you... »

The alcohol was making her head spin and the mix of emotions she had felt during the day was beginning to be hard to handle. So she stopped walking suddenly in the middle of the bar, knowing what was about to happen.

…...

 _« How come you didn't tell me? » Callie asked her girlfriend as she took a seat at the table in the cafeteria._

 _« Didn't tell you what? » Arizona asked, feeling the tension in Callie's attitude._

 _« About Hahn! »_

 _« What about Hahn? » Arizona asked, surprised by the apparent anger in her girlfriend's tone._

 _« Reese Hahn! Erica's nephew! » Callie clarified._

 _Trying to the put pieces together, Arizona knit her brows._

 _« You know h... » She stopped as everything fell into place in her mind. « She's your ex Fiancé? She's that Erica? »_

 _« Yeah! » Callie almost yelled._

 _« I... Wow, I didn't know... » Arizona remained a little stunned. « I mean you told me about your ex who was a surgeon here and everything, but how could I have known it was her? »_

 _« I don't know, but you can't do the surgery! It's... It's so... »_

 _« What? » Arizona looked at her girlfriend in total confusion._

 _« It's kind of a conflict of interest? » Callie thoughtlessly replied._

 _« I'm sorry? What? »_

 _« It's complicated and it's a risky surgery! » The brunette changed the insinuating subject._

 _« I know that! That's why Yang and I have been working on it for days. I' m ready for it, even if in my opinion, they should let this boy live his last week at home quietly. »_

 _And it was a fact, Reese Hahn was doomed. This surgery was his last chance, but his tiny body would have a hard time getting out of the OR alive._

 _« Then don't do it! »_

 _« Callie, it's the parent's choice, and Dr. Hahn supports it. » Arizona replied, not liking where the conversation seemed to be going._

 _Seeing the emotion in Callie's eyes, Arizona was a little confused. Was she stressed for Arizona and the pressure this big surgery could put on her? Was she upset Erica was in the hospital right now or was it something else she wasn't understanding._

 _« I know his parents too, they are great. I was here there when he was born. Erica and I were fighting over having kids, and … I held him when he was so tiny... He was so pale and there were so many machines... »_

 _« It's a miracle he's still alive Callie. » Arizona stated. She knew the chart by heart now._

 _« I know... But they don't deserve to lose him, his parents are good people... » Callie repeated emotionally._

 _« Nobody deserves to lose their child... » Arizona whispered._

 _Callie was so wrapped up in her thoughts that she didn't hear her girlfriend's word and didn't notice the sudden sadness in her blue eyes. She shook her head and tried to refocus her attention on Arizona._

 _«I 'm sorry, what did you say? »_

 _« Nothing... » The blonde sadly replied as she stood up and left the room._

…...

« Are you okay? » Callie asked Arizona, as she reached for her. She grabbed her wrist and Arizona turned to face her.

« Arizona, babe, talk to me please... » Callie insisted.

The blonde was really pale and her eyes were unfocused. Sure she had too much to drink but this was just not normal.

Arizona could feel Callie's worried eyes on her, at the moment they felt too much, and that's when she collapsed.

...

 **Let me know what you think!**


	25. Hit the road

**AN : / Hi everybody!**  
 **Here is the chapter.**  
 **I really hope you' like it. The first part is obvisouly full of mistake because I forgot to send it to my amazing beta.**  
 **So please, be cool with it!**  
 **All your reviews are important to me So please let me know what you're thinking!**

 **Flashback are in italic**

 **...**

She was not even sure she was at the good place.

She had hesitated so long before coming there that nothing was sure anymore in her mind. Was it the right thing to do ? Was it the good time ? Would she happy to see her after everything they had been through ?

And then suddenly, she wanted to get back to her car and fleeing. It was stupid she knew it, but it was easier. She was a little early so she could escape without being noticed after all.

Clenching her fist in a last attempt to choose what she was going to do, she closed her eyes and exhaled longly. If She was about to face Arizona in a few second, she didn't want to expose herself too much and to appear vulnerable. Not that she was afraid of that, she was known to poured herself out easily, but now was not the time.

She had her pride, and even if she admitted she was mostly responsible for the mess their relationship had become lately, she would talk to her girlfriend and try to make it up to her.  
It was too early in their relationship to show Arizona how much she needed her. She had done it with Georges too fast, pressuring him. She had done the same with Erica Hanh, and it allowed her ex to have a hold on her. But with Arizona it was different. She felt it. Everything was different.

It was exciting and terrifying at the same time.  
But for a few days, She was sad, she was anxious, she missed Arizona so much, it was hurting her, and she was totally freaking out.

…...

 _« Dr Robbins ! »_

 _The voice sounded familiar but she was unable to put a face on it. All she could feel was her head spinning and whole body seemed so heavy. She wasn't proud of herself for drinking that much, she had another time try to get away from the reality. But this time it was not a physical runaway._

 _« Dr Robbins... Open your eyes please, I know you're hearing me ! »_

 _At this point she was just able to mumble. She was trying really hard to open her eyes and to understand what's going on around her. Her head was heavy, her body seemed numb and that voice was still calling her._

 _« Dr Robbins, I need you to stop moving, I need to put that IV on your arm and you're not helping ! »_

 _She could understand the voice and it made her stop moving, just realizing she was actually moving._

 _« I... What... Where am i... » she mumbled, her mouth feeling so dry it made her cough._

 _« You're in the ER, but don't worry, you're in a private room, nobody will see you... » The voice continued. « Excepeted Dr Torres and Dr Hunt... And me obviously. »_

 _« Ouch ! » She felt a pinch on her arm causing her to open her eyes. « What are you doing ! »_

 _Those were the first understandable words she pronounced and now she recognized the voice ! That annoying and yet authoritarian voice..._

 _« Bailey, what the ... »_

 _« You need to rest ! » Bailey ordered. Pushing her mentor back on her examination table by the shoulders. « You are drunk, and you fell apparently. Dr Torres brought you here to rest and to be sure you won't do anything stupid. »_

 _« I … Where is she ? » the peds surgeon asked, between worry and shame to have been seen like that._

 _« She left a few minutes ago. She had been called for an emergency. A real one... » Miranda grumbled, settling the IV bag._

 _Biting her lips in shame, Arizona lowered her gaze and tried to remember what happened. She was able to get the most of her night and how she had drowned her sorrow with a very twisted Cristina Yang. And then she remembered Callie and all the words she had told her._

 _« I should be at home, with my son. » Bailey continued. « And Now I have to take care of my boss who had too much to drink ! I didn't sign that fellowship for that ! »_

 _« What ? » Arizona tried to understand what was happening around her and why Bailey was almost snapping at her._

 _« It's the first and the last time I'm doing this for you. Being a fellow doesn't mean being your stooges ! You're supposed to teach me, and that's what I'm expecting from you ! » the shorter woman retorted._

 _« Oh... So you signed it ? » Arizona asked with enthusiasm. « That's awesome Bailey ! »_

 _« Yeah... » Miranda grumbled as she finished to install Arizona's perfusion._

 _« We're going to make a great team ! Even better than when you were my p.t. Remember that. ? »_

 _« Here is some aspirin, you've got some water here. And now you sleep ! Do not page me if it's not an emergency ! » the new fellow sais without looking at her before leaving the room, slamming the door behind her._

…..

« Yes ? »

She was stunned. Nothing more. Her eyebrows knitted, her mouth open. Stunned. It was a mistake for sure.

« May I help you ? »

« I... » she mumbled, looking back at the number on the door. She grabbed her cell phone and checked the last message Arizona sent her. It was supposed to be here...

« Is there a problem Miss ? » The young man asked.

Callie took a few minutes before reacting to look at him. He was really handsome and was apparently just getting out of the shower, just wearing a jeans and nothing else. He was really athletic and had very beautiful dark hair.

« I'm not sure... » Callie finally replied. « I must be wrong... »

« Well if you don't tell me what or who you're looking for, I can't help you. » the handsome man replied.

« Is this apartment 502 ? Because my friend texted me the address, and obviously you're not her and... »

« Oh ! » the young man said, his hand directly going to his mouth. « I'm sorry...You're the girlfriend ! »

Trying to understand, Callie's face went from stunned to scared. Who was this man calling her « the girlfriend » ? And how could he know she was someone girlfriend after all. Or maybe he was supposed to left but « the girlfriend » arrived early and so...

« I mean, you're Arizona's girlfriend ! » He replied. « she was not expecting you so early, and I was supposed to be gone before your arrival. »

« Are you kidding me ? » Callie yelled, fearing her guess was right. « Where is she and who are you ? »

« She went to the grocery store... » the man replied, really uncomfortable. « And I... Sorry, please come in... »

« What is that ! For god's sake ! And she told me she had never had any boyfriend ! How stupid I've been ! » Callie Ranted. « And... and we fight and she just... »

« I think you're not undestan... » he tried to say, but the brunette was just carried away and wouldn't let him talk.

« Shut up ! And get out of here ! » Callie angrily said, grabbing the man's arm and throwing him in the hallway before entering the apartment which was only filled with a few boxes and a couch.

« Andrew, what are you doing here ? » Callie heard Arizona's voice. « You were supposed to go ! Callie's gonna... »

« Sorry to disturb your plan ! » Callie said, getting back in the hallway where she was facing her girlfriend and the stranger. She was angry and was totally loosing her temper. And when Callie Torres was in that state of mind, she was able to do the worst things and took the silliest decision.

« Oh you're already here ! » Arizona said in soft and relieved tone. « I thought you weren't going to come before lunch time... You said noon. »

Offering her girlfriend a sweet smile, she quickly lose it when she noticed the deadly glare Callie was presenting her. She looked back at her, feeling the anger in her eyes, making her clench her teeth.

« What ? »

« I don't know... » Callie furiously replied, confused and irrationally jealous. « I was thinking I was the bad guy in that story. I've been worried sick since the other day, waiting for seeing you... »

« Wait, wait wait ! » Arizona interrupted her. « Don't tell me you're thinking I'm cheating on you... with him ! »

« And what am I supposed to think ? I'm showing at your place, place I didn't knew about... And he opened the door, half nakedand you're not even here... »

« Callie... »

« Excuse me but I think I'm allowed to be a little upset right now... » Callie grumbled. « And you ! Put A shirt on ! »

Gulping in embarrassment Andrew shrugged, looking Arizona astonished expression.

« I'm... » He mumbled, getting back in the apartment.

He walked to the bathroom and closed the door behind him, as Arizona followed him, not really knowing what to do or to say. This was totally out of real for her and for a minute, she thought the two of them were fooling her. But by Callie's upset tone, there was no way it was joke.

« You want to come in ? » She asked her girlfriend who was still in the hallway, her arms crossed against her chest.

« I don't want to go in that apartment where... where... »

« Where what ? » Arizona sighed. « Would you please come in so we can talk ? »

« I don't know if I want to talk with you... » Callie snapped.

They were interrupted by Andrew who was now fully dressed. The poor young man grabbed a bag laying on the ground near the kitchen sink.

« It's all good in there. Call me if there's any problem... » he said to Arizona, hugging her lightly before leaving, under Callie's shocked eyes. Then he walked to the door and turned briefly to smile at the brunette.

« I'm Andrew. And I wish I'd meet you under better circumstances. »

Callie gasped as she heard the name of the young man. She stood in the hallway looking at him walking away. She knew that name. She heard of him in more than one occasion and shed had been willing to meet him. She knew what he had done for Arizona and would alway be grateful for him to be a so good friend to her girlfriend.  
During that time, Arizona was emptying her grocery bag in the fridge, not wanting to have another argument with Callie. She was sick and tired of all the tensions. So she didn't want to add fuel to the fire in commenting anything.

« He's the Andrew ? » Callie asked

« Yes, it was him. » Arizona stated, settling her food in the fridge. « And as he said, he was really looking forward to meet you »

« I'm... Well how was I supposed to know who he was ? And was I supposed to react when a naked man opened the door of my girlfriend's apartment ? »

« Callie... »

« What ? How would you have reacted if the rôle were reversed ? » the brunette asked.

« He was repairing the sink. There was a leakage... » Arizona explained. « He's a good handy man so I called him. »

« You should have called me... » Callie rolled her eyes.

« You don't know how to fix a leak Callie. »

« Maybe I do. And why was he shirtless ? » The brunette tried to continue her investigation.

« That's not the problem. » Arizona annoyingly replied, now looking in callie's eyes.

« I... I know I shouldn't have... I overreacted... Sorry... But after everything... » Callie stopped when she noticed Arizona lips curling in a shy smile.

« I warned you... » Arizona said.

« What are you talking about ? » Callies asked puzzled.

« About me, my life, my lack of social skills. » The blonde continued, getting closer to her girlfriend. « I told you everything is always complicated around me, but yet... you're still there. »

Callie didn't knew if Arizona was trying to tell her something but she was totally confused by her, and also by herself. She was so nervous that she was not able to act normally around the blonde when she wasn't sure they were on the same page. She didn't get where Arizona wanted the conversation to go.

« I just want us to be okay. »Arizona sincerelly confessed, hesitating to get closer to Callie. « I miss you and I know I've been on edge, and I'm so insufferable when I'm like that. »

Callie's features softened as she felt Arizona pouring her heart so easily. She knew it wasn't that easy for her.

« I'm sorry if I've been awkward. » Callie finally admitted, tucking Arizona's blouse lightly. « I was overwhelmed by Erica's come back in a way, but not the way you think ! I swear ! »

« I know... » Arizona replied, nodding.

« It was just a kind of closure I didn't get the chance to had you know. It ended abruptly between us... »

« Calliope, I get it. » Arizona reasserted.

« And I'm sorry I thought you and the naked guy... » Callie continued her rambling.

« Andrew... » Arizona smiled.

« Andrew... Well, I'm a moron... »

« So am I... » Arizona smiled, placing her hands on Callie's waist to pull her closer.

« How can things have gone wrong so quickly ? » Callie worried.

« Too much in a short amount of time. » Arizona explained. « I was so self centered with my new job, Kinsley's death and everything... I forgot my own new rules about communicating... all my big words about talking and ... »

Arizona stopped suddenly and remained like frozen in place, her facial expression seeming to be focused on something, like she just had a flashback.

Callie immediately frowned at the switch in the blonde's attitude and worriedly asked : « Arizona ? »

« I... Do you want to go far away from here... with me... »

« What ? »

« I just want to ran away with you ! » The blonde said, over excited by her own ideas.

« Arizona, are you all right ? »

« Please ! Say yes ! »

« I'm... It's not reasonable and you know that. You just get your apartment and a job back and... »

« Relax ! I'm not asking you to leave everything behind Callie. » She smiled, understanding her girlfriend questions. « I just want to be with you today. »

« I'm here. We're at your place, together. »

« I mean, just jumping in your car and drive out of town, without knowing where we are going. » Arizona stated. « We both have the day off and I'm not going anywhere without you, I just want to play pretend. »

« I... I don't know... »

« Please ! Let's go ! »

and just like that, Arizona grabbed Callie's hand and dragged her out of the building.

 _..._

 _She was bored at home, waiting for something to happen._

 _Tim was at his baseball practice and her father was not feeling well. He had just started his first round of chemotherapy a few days ago and the treatment had drained him of energy._

 _So, she was bored and whenever she was bored, Arizona turned into the most annoying kid you could find on earth._

 _As her father slowly made it to the kitchen for a glass of fresh water, the little girl immediately rushed to his side, helping him sit at the table._

 _« Why don't we have a mom? » she asked out of the blue, knowing it was a subject her father wasn't comfortable with._

 _« Zozo... Please, you know what happened... » he sighed, feeling dizzy._

 _« Yeah... I know, but why did she have us if she didn't want kids. ? »_

 _« I... I don't know... »_

 _« And why didn't you chase her? Because you were in love, right? You have to be in love to have children. So what happened? Why did she leave you? Was it because of me? Because, in the photo Tim has of you three, when he was just a baby, you are all happy. So, maybe it's because of me. Maybe she didn't like me? »_

 _Daniels Robbins was not in a state where he could stand to hear his daughter having such heartbreaking thoughts. It was hard on him because he knew the truth._

 _He knew everything and he couldn't tell Arizona the truth. It would break her even more._

 _Sure she was a happy girl. She was perky and smiled all the time. But, he also knew that it was mostly a facade._

 _« You know what sweetheart? What about you, Tim and I, hit the road for a few days? »_

 _Knitting her brows, Arizona immediately declined her father proposal._

 _« Daddy, you can't do that! »_

 _« Sure I can. I can drive my car and have fun with my kids if I want to. » Daniel smiled._

 _« No, it's not possible! » Arizona stated._

 _« And why isn't it possible? You're on vacation, I'm at home for a few weeks... »_

 _« Because you're sick! » the little girl cried._

 _« I might be sick, but I'm alive! So, go grabbed a bag with a few clothes, and we're leaving town after picking up your brother! Let's have a little road trip! »_

…...

They had left Seattle about 20 minutes ago and Arizona was busy looking out the window with a smile plastered on her face.

She knew Callie was a little scared by her behavior, and to be honest that amused her in a way. But she wouldn't let her girlfriend stay in the dark for too long. She would talk to her, and try to fix the mess that was the past few days.

« I know what you're thinking. » Arizona stated, finally looking at her grumpy lover.

« I'm not thinking anything... »

« I'm not going crazy, or scared or anything Callie. » Arizona reassured her girlfriend, brushing her hand. « It's just a way for me, and I hope for us, to be in a kind of adventure and to be able to talk. No marks, neutral place and a lot of love. »

Callie felt relieved by Arizona's word. Even if she didn't get everything, she felt that the little get away was a good idea. She wanted to get back to the good place they has established before everything turned their romance upside down.

« My father used to do this for me and Tim, whenever we were feeling sad or something was hard on us. » Arizona explained, with a nostalgic smile on her lips. « It was always sudden and it always turned out to be a good thing in the end. It just prevents me from over-thinking. When you are out, there is no time for that. You just focus on the next important thing for day, like, where to eat, or what motel to choose, or maybe just sleep in the van. »

« The van? » Callie asked amused.

« Yeah! A real hippie Volkswagen. » The blonde explained. « It was already old and used when I was born but my dad liked it, so he kept it. »

« He seems like a wonderful man. » Callie said, reaching for her girlfriend's hand.

« He was. He was strong and trustworthy. He was a good man in the storm. And he raised my brother and me to be like that. Well, he tried to. He succeeded with Tim at least... »

« Arizona! »

« No, it's true. I'm not what he raised me to be. If he was still there, he wouldn't have let me ruin my life the way I did. » Arizona continued, her voice cracking a little.

« Do you even see where you are? You're a surgeon, you have friends, a new apartment, and let's not forget, a hot girlfriend! That's not bad. » Callie teased her to lighten the mood. « You've had a very difficult life Arizona, with a lot of challenges. But you have proved that you are stronger than all those hurdles. »

« Maybe. I don't know... » the blonde shrugged.

« Well I don't know all the details of your past, but from all the things that I know, I can say that you're a survivor in a lot of way. And you're stronger than you think you are. »

« Thank you... » Arizona said, trying to restrain the tears on the edge of her blue eyes. « Thank you for saying that. »

…...

« You miss him don't you? » Callie tenderly asked Arizona, taking the first sip of her well-deserved coffee.

The couple had stopped at a cafe on their way. It was one of those cafes you see in the movies, a retro deco, in pure 50's style and they both fell in love with it as soon as they entered.

« Yeah... » Arizona said, a light sad tone in her voice. « But he's in a better place now. I don't know where and it doesn't matter. I just know that he's okay. »

« I thought you didn't believe in God. » Callie noticed.

« I don't. That's why I said it doesn't matter where he is. I don't believe there is a god, like a kind of patriarchal figure somewhere in the universe who tells the humans what's wrong or what's right, what one can or cannot do. I just believe that there's something... somewhere... »

« I believe in god. » Callie stated. « I don't go to church, but I often pray to him. »

« I know, and I respect that about you. Sometimes I wish I believed in him. It would make things easier. » Arizona said.

« What do you mean? »

« I don't know how to explain it. It's not that important anyway. » She said as they got interrupted by the waitress.

They greeted her as their lunch was served and settled in a comfortable silence.

« About the other day... » Callie started.

« I know... It just... sucked. » Arizona replied quickly. « It was too much to handle at one time. You were upset, I was nervous, your ex was in the equation. It was just a mess... »

« You can say that... » Callie smiled, taking Arizona's hand in hers and rubbing her thumb on it. « But I'm really sorry that it went that far. I overreacted and it was not my place to put more pressure on you. Erica and her family are not in my life anymore. I was out of place. »

« She was a part of your life once. » Arizona said. « She will always have an impact on you I guess. »

« No, she won't. She was always belittling me, always. She would do it in front of my friends, my family. She dismissed my dreams. Now, I really see that she had more of a hold on me than she loved me. » Callie confessed. « It took me some time to realize it, and even more time to admit it, but it's the sad truth. I was kind of a stooge for her. »

« She's a bully, that's all I can say about her. » Arizona smiled. « She's been a pain in my ass. She didn't trust me at all. She was looking at everything I was writing in the chart, listening in every time I talked to the parents, always bashing Yang. »

« I'm not surprised. » Callie stated, wanting to stop talking about her ex. »She just wants to be the center of the universe, and believes she's the most incredible surgeon and person on earth... But enough with Hahn... »

« You're right. Enough. » Arizona repeated, taking a bit of her salad.

It was indeed time to forget about the woman who had brought back some insecurities in her girlfriend's mind and heart. She felt like she had to reassure Callie, but as usual, she was not sure about the best way of doing that. Arizona wanted her to feel loved and cherished because she deserved it so much.

As their lunch ended, Arizona convinced Callie to drive them to a place only she knew. She wanted to get to know more about her. Strangely though, she was feeling guilty. She had spent hours talking about her, and in her mind Callie had been a good listener, very patient and understanding.

She wanted to do the same for her. She wanted to be Callie's person.

She loved her, she admired her as a doctor but right now, she wanted to know everything about her. Today would be all about Calliope Torres.

« Why are you staring at me like that? » Callie asked Arizona as they were back on the road.

« Nothing... I just want to look at my... how did you put it earlier? Hot girlfriend, driving me around in her car. »

« Well, enjoy the ride. » Callie winked.

« I just want you to know that I love you Calliope. »

The combination of her name and the sincerity behind statement made Callie gasp in emotion. She wasn't expecting such a sincere declaration.

« I'm in love with you. I just wanted that to be clear. » Arizona smiled. « I know I'm not the easiest person on earth to be with. And I know you love me, and that's why you see me like I really am. You get me. »

« Arizona, what are you talking about? »

« You're so caring, you're kind, smart, and sexy. But you're also stubborn, you sometimes have no filter and can have a big mouth. » Arizona continued.

« What is it with you? » Callie smiled.

« I'm just saying that I think you're exactly the person I'm destined to be with. » Arizona stated. « You're it for me. You're the only one I want. »

Feeling the emotion running through her soul and body, Callie suddenly parked the car at the side of the road. She looked like a statue in every way, with her hands on the steering wheel.

« I can't promise that we're never going to fight again, but I know that I don't want to. I just want to be with you and to learn everything about you. And I'm sure that I'm going to love everything, even the things I don't love. »

As Arizona finish her sentence, Callie unbuckled her seatbelt and suddenly grabbed the side of Arizona's jacket to pull her closer and kissed her.

Arizona couldn't prevent the moan from escaping during the kiss as her hands were lost in her girlfriend's dark locks.

« Wow... » was all the blonde was able to mumble after the kiss ended. « That was a hell of a kiss... »

Callie couldn't prevent herself from smiling.

« It had only been a few days since you kissed me, but I miss it... a lot. » Arizona teased.

« Really? » Callie asked, almost childishly.

« Really... » the blonde reassured her

« I bet I know what else you miss... »

...

It sounded cliché, but the place was at the top of little hill, dominating a beautiful wild beach outside of Seattle.

There was an incredible view but not a lot of people, except those you lived in the area. Not many people knew about the place.

She found it, one day when she had hit the road on her own. She had done that once or twice in her life. But not too long and not too far. She had come to this area because it was where George's family was from.

She loved her in-laws, and the visited them as often as she could when she was married. George Sr. and Mary O'Malley were real parents to her. And Callie missed them sometimes, even if they stayed regularly in touch.

Maybe it was the only good thing that came out from her first wedding.

That night, she had driven to Mama O'Malley's place and she had cried in her arms for hours. That horrible night when Georges confessed that he had slept with her sister and that they were in love.

But that is not what was on her mind right now.

Right now, she just wanted to spend the afternoon with her girlfriend and enjoy the beauty of the landscape with her.

« Wow! » Arizona said.

« It's still breath taking... » Callie smiled, happy to see the amazed look on Arizona's face.

« You were right, it's awesome! » The blonde continued, feeling Callie's arms wrapping around her waist from behind.

They stayed like that for some time, enjoying the view, the sound of the waves and above all, each other's company.

« I can't imagine how hard it's been for you. » Arizona said, breaking the silence. Callie had explained to her how she knew of this place.

« Well, it was horrible, at the time, but I realize quickly we weren't going anywhere. He never loved me. He was just a shy boy next door who no one really noticed. And I don't know why, I chased him... » Callie admitted. « He was just sweet, and I thought that a guy like him wouldn't hurt me. But I have quickly realized I would miss his family more than him. »

« You really love his family. » Arizona stated.

« It is a big family and they are all really good people. »

« Well mine is just one person, so I hope you'll get along with April. » Arizona smiled.

« I... You... » Callie mumbled.

Arizona broke the embrace and turned around to face her girlfriend.

« What is it? » She smiled.

« No... Nothing. » Callie lied, slightly avoiding eye contact.

« Callie... You can ask me anything. »

« I don't want to ruin the moment... » Callie whispered, thinking she was about to make a mistake.

« Go on... Ask me... » Arizona reassured her.

« About your mother... You never wanted to get to know her? »

Arizona's smile faded quickly and she began to walk. Callie followed her, knowing it wasn't the best idea she had ever had.

« Hey! Hey! I'm sorry! » She apologized, grabbing Arizona's wrist.

« I'm just mad... » Arizona confessed immediately, her eyes confused.

« I'm sorry... I shouldn't... »

« Not at you! At me! » Arizona clarified. « I'm mad because she still has this hold on me. »

Callie was heartbroken, feeling the blonde's inner struggle. It was surely this event in Arizona's life that had made her so unsecure and so unstable.

« You want to talk about it? » Callie asked tenderly.

« I don't know... » Arizona stated as Callie took her by the hand and led her to a nearby picnic table.

« It might help... when I was mad at George and my sister, I came here and I screamed. I screamed so hard and so long, that my throat was on fire and my voice broke for two days. It was almost cathartic. »

Arizona sighed loudly, closing her eyes in her attempt to chase away her painful memories.

« I just don't want her to have this much impact on me. It's not fair. » Arizona said, tears threatening to flow. « She's just a stone cold, selfish bitch and she has never even cared about me. »

Feeling the emotions her girlfriend was feeling Callie put her hand on Arizona's thigh, brushing her thumb in circular patterns to soothe her the best she could, and avoid invading her personal space.

« Have you ever talked to her about the reason she left you and your brother? Did your father ever explain things to you, clearly? »

« The one time we 'talked' and she just told me it was my own fault that my life was a mess. For her I'm just a sinner who will rot in hell because her god told her so. I'm a pathetic lesbian who chose an openly dangerous lifestyle... » Arizona sarcastically laughed. « And I'm at a point in my life where I don't want to know anymore. I have spent too many nights crying over this. My father never said anything bad about her, but he never said anything good either. He was elusive, saying things like she was emotionally fragile. I think he thought he still had time to tell us the real reason, you know... »

Callie smiled at her in support, trying to figure out what was really going in her girlfriend's head.

« You are lucky to have your parents in your life Callie. » Arizona stated. « They are good people. »

« You saying that even after my father's little intimidating interview? » Callie teased. « But you're right, I'm lucky. They have always been there supporting me. When I came out to them as bisexual, I was prepared to be thrown out of the family. »

« And how did they react? » Arizona asked.

« They told me they needed to process the news. I thought they were going to erase me from their lives in shame. » Callie explained. « I was an intern at the time, I was barely home, spent all my time at the hospital. It was a few months after my divorce. I always knew I was attracted to both men and women, but I had never told anyone. So when I saw my parents in the waiting room one day, I was sure they were here to tell me it was over, that they couldn't accept me. But instead, they told me they were proud of me. They were proud I was able to show who I really was and that they would support me and welcome any partner I would chose to spend my life with if he or she makes me happy. »

« That's really beautiful. » Arizona said, her eyes filling with tears. She had felt Callie's emotion through her words and couldn't handle her own emotions anymore.

« Hey, Hey... » Callie reached for Arizona. « What's wrong? »

« Nothing, it's just... it's really amazing, all the love and support you shares with them. It's a blessing. »

« Don't worry, we did have our hard times though... Especially when Georges and Aria... that was really rough for everybody. » Callie remembered.

« But yet, you found a way to make things work. » Arizona smiled, placing a chaste kiss on Callie's hand.

« That's true. We had to do it and welcome my nephews in the family. » Callie said. « And even if my Dad is always giving George a hard time during the family dinner, everything has been forgiven. »

« Well, I think your dad will give a hard time to anyone dating one of his daughters... » Arizona laughed.

« You can say that. »


End file.
